Stupid A-Hole Neighbors

[johneh]

Hope someone has a good idea to help me out. Here is the situation:

My house was brand new when I moved into it 5 years ago. Our neighbor behind us is a duplex that seems to only rent to complete a-holes. The duplex was build kind of strange so that the parking is behind the duplex - so they park up against my back yard. Their is usually 4 cars parked there and it is a very tight fit for them and somewhat difficult for them to park.

At first they used to park several feet in my yard and leave ruts in my back yard (before the house was built their paved parking area actually extended several feet across the property line. When the house was built the builder tore out where it was overextended and planted grass). It kind of annoyed me but didn't bother me too much. That was until one day I woke up and could see marks that crealy showed they used my yard to turn around - you could see they did a big circle in my yard.

At this point I planted several plants across the back yard. However, the alcholic hillbillies would park on them knocking them over.

So a year later I decided to put up a fence (6 foot hight, wood). Of course they have hit it with their cars while parking. I need to replace two planks in the fence that they broke and you can see marks on their side of the fence where their car rubbed the fence.

SO my question is - can anyone think of a good way to protect the fence and/or at least maximizie the damange to their car when they hit the fence?

[st.cronin]

land mines

[Samdari]

Hope someone has a good idea to help me out. Here is the situation:

My house was brand new when I moved into it 5 years ago. Our neighbor behind us is a duplex that seems to only rent to complete a-holes. The duplex was build kind of strange so that the parking is behind the duplex - so they park up against my back yard. Their is usually 4 cars parked there and it is a very tight fit for them and somewhat difficult for them to park.

At first they used to park several feet in my yard and leave ruts in my back yard (before the house was built their paved parking area actually extended several feet across the property line. When the house was built the builder tore out where it was overextended and planted grass). It kind of annoyed me but didn't bother me too much. That was until one day I woke up and could see marks that crealy showed they used my yard to turn around - you could see they did a big circle in my yard.

At this point I planted several plants across the back yard. However, the alcholic hillbillies would park on them knocking them over.

So a year later I decided to put up a fence (6 foot hight, wood). Of course they have hit it with their cars while parking. I need to replace two planks in the fence that they broke and you can see marks on their side of the fence where their car rubbed the fence.

SO my question is - can anyone think of a good way to protect the fence and/or at least maximizie the damange to their car when they hit the fence?

Large metal spikes running exacly along the property line?

And a security camera to record the neighbors when they try to take them up (vandalism, trespassing)

[rkmsuf]

say mean awful things to them

[Suicane75]

Large metal spikes running exacly along the property line?

And a security camera to record the neighbors when they try to take them up (vandalism, trespassing)
And the second some drunk idiot falls on them our friend Johneh is booked and tried for murder.

[JeeberD]

Put sharp metal spikes or broken glass shards on the property line. They try to drive over, they have to buy new tires.

Have you contacted the owner of the duplex about any of this?

[flere-imsaho]

I'd advise against attempting to damage their cars, since they'll eventually just sue you (or their insurance company will). I'd either a) move or b) put up some immovable object as the fence (like a concrete wall, maybe?).

Good luck. :(

[Joe]

pour sugar in their gasoline

[Suicane75]

pour sugar in their gasoline
And dump Cheerios in their car!

[Draft Dodger]

paint the neighbor side of the planks you are replacing a really ugly shade of pink.

[gottimd]

Throw fecal matter at them and make chimp noises when they hit the fence.

Put a banana in their tail pipe.

[John Galt]

Sorry about that. I'm not so good when I drink. I'll be careful next time.

[rkmsuf]

Throw fecal matter at them and make chimp noises when they hit the fence.

Put a banana in their tail pipe.


they are not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe.

[Suicane75]

Oooooh, the oracle is here, he knows all. This is your lucky day.

[Draft Dodger]

pour sugar in their gasoline

doesn't work

[Raiders Army]

they are not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe.Try putting some shotgun shells in there instead. Once the car is running for a while, they'll heat up and explode, blowing the shit out of the bottom of the car.

Edit--and I am once again a Grizzled Veteran.

[gottimd]

Then pour gasoline in their sugar.

[Samdari]

I'd advise against attempting to damage their cars, since they'll eventually just sue you (or their insurance company will). I'd either a) move or b) put up some immovable object as the fence (like a concrete wall, maybe?).

Good luck. :(

Sue you for damage that occured when they illegally drove cars on your property? I dare them.

Good point about someone getting hurt though. Maybe have the things that prevent you from driving rental cars out the lane you return them in would work. The spikes don't come out unless enough weight triggers them. Of course, that is probably much more expensive than fixing the fence for the rest of your life, but is also probably much more satisfying.

[Suicane75]

Get a pool, get sharks, get laser beams.

[rkmsuf]

hey how about a mote?

[gottimd]

Have you seen that game "Mouse Trap"?

Set up some sort of system like in that game, that everytime they touch the fence to the point that it could cause damage, it releases a shit bomb on their house through some sort of catapult.

That way they will learn everytime they knock the fence they have to spend a part of their day cleaning up poop off of the house, which can get bad if left to fester out in the sun.

[st.cronin]

Sue you for damage that occured when they illegally drove cars on your property? I dare them.

Good point about someone getting hurt though. Maybe have the things that prevent you from driving rental cars out the lane you return them in would work. The spikes don't come out unless enough weight triggers them. Of course, that is probably much more expensive than fixing the fence for the rest of your life, but is also probably much more satisfying.

It's true. If some stranger is walking up your driveway, and slips on some ice and cracks his head, you (the homeowner) are liable for his medical care.

[Flasch186]

Id suggest a letter stating your intent to record the back area 24 hours a day and then charge them for any repairs necessary in the future. That you are saddened that it has come to this but you have no other choice considering the amount of money that this could end up costing over time. Copy this letter to the landlord and then put up a camera in the middle of the day so that they see you installing it, on your property. Be really, sad while putting it up if they confront you. Even apologize for it. Then tape, repair, send bill. If they dont pay, bill the landlord. If they don't pay put a lien on them.

[cartman]

Yep, I'd recommend going with a more substantial fence if at all possible. Instead of wood, go with rock bases connected by steel tubing. You only have to build it 3 or 4 feet high, so it will look nice and not block the view. Depending on how long it needs to be, you can build it for probably $500 to $1000 for a 30 foot fence.

If they hit that and damage their car, I don't think you'd be liable at all.

[Raiders Army]

It's true. If some stranger is walking up your driveway, and slips on some ice and cracks his head, you (the homeowner) are liable for his medical care.
But what if it's someone you know? Does that count as well?

[Desnudo]

It's true. If some stranger is walking up your driveway, and slips on some ice and cracks his head, you (the homeowner) are liable for his medical care.

Which is why you always bury the body.

[Samdari]

It's true. If some stranger is walking up your driveway, and slips on some ice and cracks his head, you (the homeowner) are liable for his medical care.

I don't think that is as automatic as you say. In my county, we are responsible for keeping the sidewalk in front of our homes clear within 24 hours of snow/ice. If someone got hurt because I did not do that, I'd be liable. If someone entered my property (as my driveway would be) unbidden, I doubt the liability is as automatic as you think. I am not responsible for providing random strangers a safe path to my house.

I also think the situation would be very different if someone I had specifically forbidden from entering my property (as johneh should do to his neighbors, in writing) hurts themselves on my property. They would have no chance of recovering damages for getting hurt on my property.

[st.cronin]

Well, I'm not a lawyer.

In fact, my honest advice would be to hire a lawyer.

[judicial clerk]

I would start by sharing your concerns with the owner fo the duplex. I would look to him to compensate you for the damage to your fence.

Moving is also a good solution.

All the advice to retaliate against the duplex dwellers is a bad idea. Its like getting in a fight with an ugly person, they have less to lose than you do. And based on 30 years of watching movies, offending the local alcoholic hillbillies always results in torment for the well groomed city slicker.

[Suicane75]

And based on 30 years of watching movies, offending the local alcoholic hillbillies always results in torment for the well groomed city slicker.

Are those banjos I hear?

[John Galt]

Are those banjos I hear?

And for the second time in a week on FOFC, I get to say:

"Squeal like a piggy."

[Blackadar]

I would probably install a couple of those cemented-in parking barriers right along the property line where they park. It'd cost a couple of hundred dollars, but that would take care of the problem once and for all. And as long as they're on your property and properly installed, there's little chance of getting sued when one of the rednecks runs into it - and about zero chance of them winning the suit.

[terpkristin]

What about those one-way spikes? The kind that when you roll over them, they flat out your tires? :D

/tk

[Suicane75]

Contact the Israeli army, nobody will ever know.

[albionmoonlight]

I agree that something like spikes/glass etc. is a bad idea. Even if they may not win a suit, it will still cost money to defend yourself.

Also, it looks to them like you are almost daring them to try to get on your yard. If you make it like an arms race, they will just try to outsmart you. And it will look to others like you are just neighbors bitching at each other.

If you do it with a sturdy fence, then you look much more in the right to people on the outside, and you don't really give them a reason to want to hurt your lawn just to spite you.

I also don't see much downside to writing a polite letter to the duplex owner. If you know of any local lawyers in town who do real estate stuff, they could probably help you write the letter for cheap. Property law can be a strange beast; most of it comes from a time when people were worried about their neighbor's cows grazing on their fields. There are some strange ins and outs that might apply in your state.

[Swaggs]

It's true. If some stranger is walking up your driveway, and slips on some ice and cracks his head, you (the homeowner) are liable for his medical care.

Not true. The stranger would have to prove that you were negligent and would have to have a meaningful purpose for being on your property (ie: delivery).

[johneh]

I should add that my fence is only a few inches back from the property line - so there isn't really room to add anything large and have it still be on my property.

I have previously talked to the owner and he said he has no control over his tennants actions.

The all time best is is when I noticed the police sitting in the next driveway from the duplex while the woman in one of the units was rapidly throwing everything she could into the back of her car. Of course after a few minutes the drunk neighbor comes home, the cops pull in behind him & start talking to him - but he decides to push the cops and try to go in the unit to see his girlfriend - It's fun to see how fast & hard two cops can take down a drunk idiot

[Flasch186]

I have previously talked to the owner and he said he has no control over his tennants actions.




This is not true at all. The landlord is eventually responsible for everything that happens on his property. In his lease agreement with the tenant he cannot explicitly remove himself from liability. IF a tenant doesn't mow their lawn ina deed restricted community it is the responsibility of the landlord to be sure that it does or the HOA can eventually put a lien on the rpoperty, not on the tenants. If you have to go down that road, any halfwit real estate attorney will advise you of this...

[terpkristin]

Yeah, I was thinking what Flasch just said.

The landlord is either an idiot or lazy. Either way, if you can't get it done any other way, he IS responsible...

/tk

[st.cronin]

This is not true at all. The landlord is eventually responsible for everything that happens on his property. In his lease agreement with the tenant he cannot explicitly remove himself from liability. IF a tenant doesn't mow their lawn ina deed restricted community it is the responsibility of the landlord to be sure that it does or the HOA can eventually put a lien on the rpoperty, not on the tenants. If you have to go down that road, any halfwit real estate attorney will advise you of this...

Well, it may well be true that he has no control over his tenant's actions ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROPERTY. I'm not a lawyer, though.

[Arctus]

Your goal is to keep cars off of (and not damaging) your property; with as little heart burn as possible. Also, whatever you do, should be an enancement to your property, not an eyesore. Putting something sturdy along your property line that is also aesthetically pleasing is the way to go.

Yep, I'd recommend going with a more substantial fence if at all possible. Instead of wood, go with rock bases connected by steel tubing. You only have to build it 3 or 4 feet high, so it will look nice and not block the view. Depending on how long it needs to be, you can build it for probably $500 to $1000 for a 30 foot fence.

If they hit that and damage their car, I don't think you'd be liable at all.

This is a really good solution (you can go with concrete as well). Although I believe the cost will most likely be a bit higher than $1000 either way.

Another good alternative is to install planter boxes. I have done this to provide vehicular access control for public buildings in the past. Here is a link to a product I have used in the past. Unless your neighbor hits it either with a tractor trailer or doing 50 MPH its not going to budge.

hxxp://www.wausautile.com/index.cfm/choice/terraform/id/2/productdetail/y/thumbnail/WT345/productnum/TF4183

[Joe]

how about some pipe bombs?

[Arctus]

This is not true at all. The landlord is eventually responsible for everything that happens on his property. In his lease agreement with the tenant he cannot explicitly remove himself from liability. IF a tenant doesn't mow their lawn ina deed restricted community it is the responsibility of the landlord to be sure that it does or the HOA can eventually put a lien on the rpoperty, not on the tenants. If you have to go down that road, any halfwit real estate attorney will advise you of this...

I would think that going down this road would be much more irritating that dealing with fence repairs.

[Flasch186]

Well, it may well be true that he has no control over his tenant's actions ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROPERTY. I'm not a lawyer, though.

This is a good point BUT the landlord is still responsible for "nuisances" originating on his property.

[rkmsuf]

Maybe you could leave your Christmas tree in their yard.

[gottimd]

Maybe you could leave your Christmas tree in their yard.
Or dress up as a ghost ans scare them.

[rkmsuf]

Do you happen to have a case of Quaker State, ball bearings and gauze pads handy? We can take of this real quick.

[Raiders Army]

Be a man and challenge him to a fight in the Octagon.

[sterlingice]

And dump Cheerios in their car!
I've never heard of it used before but if I really hated someone and had no qualms about doing something illegal (which makes the odds of this happening about 0), I'd consider dumping milk in the window of their car, particularly if they don't drive it every day. For one, the car gets all sticky- when I spill milk on the floor, unless I use water to wipe it up, it's stick for days. Two, if it's a warm day, the smell will just be hideous in a matter of house. Three, it's liquid- almost impossible to get out of every single nook and cranny of the car. Lastly, if it's really in there for a long time, then it would start growing... ew.

That said, you have to live next to this person and he clearly has no problems taking the low ground. Getting into some sort of pissing match will only end in misery for you and every item on your property that you like.

SI

[sterlingice]

Or dress up as a ghost ans scare them.
Like Cartman? :p

http://www.southpark.dsl.pipex.com/images/images/chars/ghost.jpg

SI

[KWhit]

Do you happen to have a case of Quaker State, ball bearings and gauze pads handy? We can take of this real quick.Outstanding, Dr. Rosen Rosen.

[Ksyrup]

Whatever you decide to do, charge it to the Underhills.

[Buzzbee]

Pave your yard. No more trenches. No more mowing. Problem solved.

[RendeR]

You know those concrete dividers they use on the highway? you can buy those at a pretty decent price from the DOMV, call them up, buy however many you need to blockade your yard (and yes, when you get them placed make sure they straddle the property line) then plant small shrubs/trees which are prone to growing like vines over obstacles. in time they will overgrow the blocks and you'll have a formidable and beautiful yard protection.

if they hit THAT with their cars, they'll be crying over their destroyed vehicle and its no-one's fault but their own.

I've seen this work. not sure what it would cost to have the blocks delivered though, but check into it.

[Loren]

:confused: havent you filed police reports on the damage? and contacted your home insurance? having worked at the city i also know you can contact the city or county's planning and zoning office(or just city hall, they forward it to the appropriate dept, this would be p&z and police dept and maybe streets)and report the neighbors for what they're doing, they SHOULD actually do something about the report, I used to process citizen reports, its amazing what people would call to complain about and what the city actually ok'd to cover...if the landlord says its not his reponsibility you can call and put in a complaint about him, it IS his responsibility since its his property, hell you dont even have to leave your name unless you're looking for compensation...

[johneh]

:confused: havent you filed police reports on the damage? and contacted your home insurance? having worked at the city i also know you can contact the city or county's planning and zoning office(or just city hall, they forward it to the appropriate dept, this would be p&z and police dept and maybe streets)and report the neighbors for what they're doing, they SHOULD actually do something about the report, I used to process citizen reports, its amazing what people would call to complain about and what the city actually ok'd to cover...if the landlord says its not his reponsibility you can call and put in a complaint about him, it IS his responsibility since its his property, hell you dont even have to leave your name unless you're looking for compensation...

The damage to the fence is far less than my home owners deductible.
I haven't talked to the police directly, but my neighbor is a cop and since I don't have proof of which neighbor hit the fence it will just be "he said -she said".

My main concern is stopping future damage. Right now to repair it I just need to buy two planks and some paint - so I'm probably looking at $30 max to fix it.

[cartman]

Here is a pic of what I was thinking of:

http://www.asbdesign.com/asbart/cbdr2s.jpg

You can use chain like in the picture, but I'd prefer some heavy gauge steel pipe, or better yet, solid steel bars.

[sterlingice]

Outstanding, Dr. Rosen Rosen.
Better than a Dr. Rosenpenis reference :)

SI

[Desnudo]

Here is a pic of what I was thinking of:

http://www.asbdesign.com/asbart/cbdr2s.jpg

You can use chain like in the picture, but I'd prefer some heavy gauge steel pipe, or better yet, solid steel bars.

I like it. Ugly, yet ugly at the same time.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

Ok, if they are parked on your property, have them towed. It's quite easy, actually. Just make sure you post a sign that says "no trespassing/parking, violators will be towed." Then when they park, call a private tow company. They love doing this because they get the money from the violator when he tries to pick up their car. They also don't take shit from people when they're hooking them up, or when people try to get their cars. In preparation, you may want to call a tow company in advance to set things up, and get any other advice you can from them. There you go. Quite easy. Even if you have to pay the tow company yourself out of your pocket the first few times, it will be worth it, and cheaper than the other suggestions you are getting. Just be prepared for some potential backlash from the parkers. You may want to consider lying to them if they complain and say you rent too, and it must be the "landlord" who's calling the tow company.

Your also allowed to call the police about trespassers, but they won't be too enthused about such petty stuff.

Finally, threaten to sue the landlord, he is responsible for the conduct of all invitees on his property (his tenants or their guests). Then take him to small claims court for the hell of it for the damage.

[Flasch186]

DO NOT call your home owner's indurance company. Many times after so many claims they will cancel you and that makes it all the more difficult to regain insurance from someone else.

[Castlerock]

DO NOT call your home owner's indurance company. Many times after so many claims they will cancel you and that makes it all the more difficult to regain insurance from someone else.
Good advice. Never make a claim on your homeowners policy unless it is big.

[judicial clerk]

DO NOT call your home owner's indurance company. Many times after so many claims they will cancel you and that makes it all the more difficult to regain insurance from someone else.

Your insurance may make a note even if you just call for advice. I too would advise against this.

The all time best is is when I noticed the police sitting in the next driveway from the duplex while the woman in one of the units was rapidly throwing everything she could into the back of her car. Of course after a few minutes the drunk neighbor comes home, the cops pull in behind him & start talking to him - but he decides to push the cops and try to go in the unit to see his girlfriend - It's fun to see how fast & hard two cops can take down a drunk idiot and cue the dueling banjos. I guess we can rule out getting tough with this guy. If he is willing to push the police then he is probably not going to respond well to aggressive actions from you. i still think the pressure point is the landlord. Although you could try to reason with the drunk hillbilly.

[Flasch186]

Your insurance may make a note even if you just call for advice. I too would advise against this.




Thats exactly what happened to my parents and then they got cancelled a month later. They called to ask if something was claimable and the company said, "no". then canned them. I was/am so pissed about that.

[RendeR]

Thats exactly what happened to my parents and then they got cancelled a month later. They called to ask if something was claimable and the company said, "no". then canned them. I was/am so pissed about that.


this is also illegal, but is covered up well by the insurance companies.

[johneh]

and cue the dueling banjos. I guess we can rule out getting tough with this guy. If he is willing to push the police then he is probably not going to respond well to aggressive actions from you. i still think the pressure point is the landlord. Although you could try to reason with the drunk hillbilly.

Actually he moved awhile ago (of course only to be replaced by another hillbillie). It was fun after he got hauled away too - we got to count the number of days until his van showed up again (it was towed by the cops), it was 23 days after the incident before we saw the van again.