Pam Anderson Roast

[Ksyrup]

Did anyone see the Pam Anderson roast on Comedy Central? I swore I'd stay away, and did for most of it, but I happened to catch Jeffrey Ross, the funniest man on this planet to not have TV show of some kind, and man, he took Courtney Love on head-first. I didn't realize she is best friends with Pam - what an awful life she must lead.

Anyway, Ross started railing on Love (who I think is an ugly, no-talent, unfit mother - but hey, I'm sure she's cool and all...) with a couple of warm-up tosses (she's the girl next door....if you live next to a methodone clinic). Then he dropped this one - It's hard to believe, but Courtney looks worse than Kurt Cobain (he had better delivery, but I was laughing so hard I don't recall exactly what he said). Ouch! I don't think I'd have had the guts to say that one with her 3 feet away, even if I came up with it.

He also came up with the sequel to his now-famous "I wouldn't fuck Dr. Ruth's pussy with Bea Arthur's dick" line, which was, "I wouldn't fuck Bea Arthur's dick with Andy Dick's pussy." Oh, and Bea Arthur (looking God-awful, I might say) was pretty funny reading excerpts from a "fictional" (but real) novel Pam wrote. Even my wife had tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

That chick is a dufus, though. At the end, it was clear that she was reading jokes written for her for the first time as they taped, because she was laughing at them like she had never heard them before. And when it ended, Courtney Love couldn't even walk over to Pam without falling down. High comedy.

[gottimd]

I fell asleep to it last night. From what I saw it was hilarious. I am sure I will catch it again the next 480 million times Comedy Central plays it.

[korme]

I'll roast her, who's in?

[Ksyrup]

If you're watching just for the T&A, Pam's top is see-through. Her rack is so fake I expected her to hang it on a coat rack during the show.

That was another funny bit...Andy Dick came out as her plastic surgeon, as a pretense to fondling her boobs for about 2 minutes. That was pretty damn funny - and smart!

[Fouts]

I watched it, even though they let tommy lee perform. Enjoyed the comedy, but I didn't have the same views of the people as you did. They are all characters to me, I really hope they aren't like that 24/7 (pam and courtney).

I didnt know Jimmy and Sarah Silverman were a couple. Now I hate Jimmy.

[Eaglesfan27]

Yeah, I was a little surprised at how see-through Pam's top was. I didn't think they would show that on Comedy Central.

[Ksyrup]

I watched it, even though they let tommy lee perform. Enjoyed the comedy, but I didn't have the same views of the people as you did. They are all characters to me, I really hope they aren't like that 24/7 (pam and courtney).

I didnt know Jimmy and Sarah Silverman were a couple. Now I hate Jimmy.
I thought Jimmy sucked. He was not the same kind of host he was on Man Show. Is his late night show like that? If so, I'm glad I've never watched it. Very wooden, almost like he was acting like someone who couldn't act.

Tommy Lee....only in Hollywood would this conversation take place..."Look, I know you beat her up and that's kinda awkward and all, but no one will mention it AND they'll all talk about what a big dick you have. And as a bonus, we'lll let you pimp your new album. It's win/ win, baby! You gotta be there!"

[CHEMICAL SOLDIER]

That was a sucker punch by that guy at courtney love. Pure tasteless, but thought provoking.

[Ksyrup]

That was a sucker punch by that guy at courtney love. Pure tasteless, but thought provoking.
That's what made it so good. She's a fucking ugly skank bitch, and she was sitting right there, and he did it anyway. I appplauded the guy with a standing O after I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the tears from my eyes.

[Anthony]

If you're watching just for the T&A, Pam's top is see-through. Her rack is so fake I expected her to hang it on a coat rack during the show.

That was another funny bit...Andy Dick came out as her plastic surgeon, as a pretense to fondling her boobs for about 2 minutes. That was pretty damn funny - and smart!

wait, he actually fondled her boobs on the show? if he did i'll watch.

[Ksyrup]

wait, he actually fondled her boobs on the show? if he did i'll watch.
It was funny as hell...he was pretending to shoot down missiles with them and stuff like that. Showing how firm he made them. He was manhandling her.

All in the name of comedy, of course.

[gottimd]

All in the name of comedy, of course.

I am gonna have to try that the next time I go to a bar. Tell the chick, don't worry, its all in the name of comedy.

[Anthony]

is he gay, in real life? i need to know this in terms of if it'll turn me on or not. if he's hetero then i'd jack off to Pam Anderson getting groped, but if he's gay (and thus, not interested in having his hands on her rack) then it won't do it for me. i need information.

i said this in another thread, that i once jacked off to Meredith Baxter Berney once cuz she was playing a character getting a breast exam. i thought that even though the actor playing the doctor had to act like a doctor (be a professional), bottom line is he was man and he was fondling a set of healthy tits. so it's important for the fantasy for me to know that a hetero person was fondling Pam's rack, cuz even though it was all for show and for entertainment, if i was in Andy Dick's shoes i'd get an erection.

[Ksyrup]

I've never really thought about it, but based on the running joke last night, I'm guessing he's either gay or enjoys pretending to be gay. He simulated blowing Tommy Lee. Maybe that'll turn you on?

[Subby]

I don't think Andy Dick even knows what he is...

[timmynausea]

I'm pretty sure he's not gay.

[WSUCougar]

He's one ugly mo'fo', and that's flat-out undeniable.

[John Galt]

is he gay, in real life? i need to know this in terms of if it'll turn me on or not. if he's hetero then i'd jack off to Pam Anderson getting groped, but if he's gay (and thus, not interested in having his hands on her rack) then it won't do it for me. i need information.

i said this in another thread, that i once jacked off to Meredith Baxter Berney once cuz she was playing a character getting a breast exam. i thought that even though the actor playing the doctor had to act like a doctor (be a professional), bottom line is he was man and he was fondling a set of healthy tits. so it's important for the fantasy for me to know that a hetero person was fondling Pam's rack, cuz even though it was all for show and for entertainment, if i was in Andy Dick's shoes i'd get an erection.

More proof that HA is hiding in the closet (if his constant references to male genetilia in his drunken rants weren't enough).

[korme]

I'm pretty sure he's gay.
Me too.

[Airhog]

/I gay too.


Fixed that for ya ;)

[Anthony]

i ask cuz he did a similar skit for VH1's rock and fashion awards (short lived awards show a couple years back, when they were still interested in being a music channel and not a reality tv channel), and he played a fashion designer and we were taken backstage. one model had large breasts, and he stopped her, and started groping them and saying in his gay-esque voice "what are these???....i can't work with these things!", all the while just bobbing them up and down. i know he has a kid, but hey, so does Elton John.

[stevew]

I think i remember reading and article on Andy Dick, and he lived with 2 women and a guy, and they were all together, at least at one point.

[sabotai]

What steve said, I'm pretty sure he's bi.

As for the roast, I watched only to see Ross. He's always the best and he never holds back anything (which is what makes him so good). The yekpt mentioning Pam's work with PETA (ugh). It was hilarious to see Ross come out wearing a big, fur coat. :D

[jeff061]

Yeah, I think that fur coat pissed em off royally. Nice. I think he was the one guy they hated. Well done I say.

"I hear they sell mule rides to the bottom of Pam's vagina".

[JonInMiddleGA]

HA, you can probably skip the show if you just want to see the silicon manipulation ... it's in the promos that ran throughout the day yesterday.

[dawgfan]

I thought it was hilarious. Jeffrey Ross is quickly becoming one of my favorite comics - a guy who sees that line of good taste and gleefully races way past it. My first exposure to him was seeing the roast of Jerry Stiller where he said of Sandra Bernhard: "I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's dick" which had me and my roommate in tears laughing so hard.

I have to disagree on Kimmel - I thought he got a lot of great zingers in. His delivery was like it's always been, no different than when he was on the Man Show.

The others were good as well, with roast regulars Nick DiPaulo and Greg Giraldo getting in some great digs. Bea Arthur reading Pam's book was brilliant, and I thought Andy Dick's schtick was great - the sort-of but not completely gay guy getting away with full fondling of Pam was great - you kept waiting to see if Pam would crack and tell him to knock it off, but of course she couldn't. Yeah, Tommy Lee and Pam both had their jokes scripted for them (so did Courtney more than likely) but they weren't bad. And just watching the train wreck that is Courtney Love was worth it by itself - as Kimmel said, if she's not on drugs on this show then there's something really wrong with her.

I don't get the music interlude requirement the show has acquired, but I'd rather have seen more roasting and skipped the music. The see-through top was a nice touch, though I have a hard time believing Pam didn't know exactly what she was doing (she played dumb like she didn't realize how sheer it was). The whole time during her jokes I couldn't take my eyes off her nipples, which just goes to show how hard-wired straight men are about sex.

[Draft Dodger]

people watch those crappy roasts? I think they are painful to watch.

but not quite as bad as reading a Hell Atlantic post.

[Calis]

Thought the whole thing was kind of odd, a roast for Pamela Anderson?

All the ones before had been for pretty longtime comedians, I thought that was the deal, just seemed out of place. I guess it was a ratings grabber to have her on.

The last two I've seen, I've been pretty amused with the hefty gal, Italian-sounding name, can't remember it now. She's pretty crass, and has made me laugh quite a bit. She had some good ones last night also.

I usually like the roasts though, yeah they go for the low brow, be offensive as possible jokes, but that's good stuff occasionally. :)

[Lathum]

I was watching the promos and it seemed like it was more of a roast on Coutney Love then of Pam Anderson

[jeff061]

All the ones before had been for pretty longtime comedians,

It appears to me that they have the "Friars Club Roast" which is the real one that honors comedians, I'm not sure if they get aired anymore, they have been going on for a long time off camera.

Then they have the "Comedy Central Roast" which is just a ratings ploy.

[Calis]

It appears to me that they have the "Friars Club Roast" which is the real one that honors comedians, I'm not sure if they get aired anymore, they have been going on for a long time off camera.

Then they have the "Comedy Central Roast" which is just a ratings ploy.

Ahh cool, thanks.

I completely missed the distinction there, I thought this was a Friar's Club Roast, which is why I was confused. Makes sense then.

[sabotai]

Comedy Central used to air the Friar's Club roast. I guess the Friar's Club not caring about ratings (who they roasted) made Comedy Central split and do their own.

[Logan]

Comedy Central used to air the Friar's Club roast. I guess the Friar's Club not caring about ratings (who they roasted) made Comedy Central split and do their own.

It was actually a money issue. The Friar's Club roasts were really successful for Comedy Central, and they weren't paying much to get them. When the Club demanded more money to allow CC to tape the roasts, CC just said, "Screw it, we'll make our own."

Was probably a good idea for CC, as they can put roasts together for people who would get better ratings (ie Pam Anderson) than a distinguished, but generally unknown comedian.

[Loren]

the crudness of it all was pretty funny, and the best part was definetly the andy dick grabbing her boobs part..we couldnt get why it was ok to show her nipples through her shirt but they bleeped cursing out, until Sat. when i think they're gonna show the unedited version..
as for andy dick, he's not supposed to be Bi either, he didnt live WITH a guy, he lived in the same house with his ex-wife and her boyfriend AND andy's girlfriend, because he had a child with his ex-wife..and has kids with his g/f.. they were on Cribs at one time :rolleyes:

[Anthony]

HA, you can probably skip the show if you just want to see the silicon manipulation ... it's in the promos that ran throughout the day yesterday.

just when i think you and i can never be in the same room with each other, you toss me this alley-oop. classy.

[Anthony]

my friends and i were gonna do a roast, we were gonna rotate who got roasted. i volunteered to be the first roastee, but a lot of the guys didn't have the balls to do it cuz they thought there'd be too much bad feelings and didn't want to mix alcohol with zingers. me? i can take a joke better than the next guy so i got no prob.

my only prob would have been when it came time to roast someone else. i'm an extremely funny guy, but my humor is off the top of my head. i improvise (as do most of my friends). if i had to sit down with a pen and paper and script out my stuff i'd be lost.

man, now i'm pissed the roast never got off the ground. i'd even let someone fondle my boobs. too.

[korme]

my friends and i were gonna do a roast, we were gonna rotate who got roasted. i volunteered to be the first roastee, but a lot of the guys didn't have the balls to do it cuz they thought there'd be too much bad feelings and didn't want to mix alcohol with zingers. me? i can take a joke better than the next guy so i got no prob.

my only prob would have been when it came time to roast someone else. i'm an extremely funny guy, but my humor is off the top of my head. i improvise (as do most of my friends). if i had to sit down with a pen and paper and script out my stuff i'd be lost.

man, now i'm pissed the roast never got off the ground. i'd even let someone fondle my boobs. too.
You mean you wouldn't pig roast Pam Anderson with me?

[miked]

I thought the best part about Jeffrey Ross was when he told a cracked out Anna Nicole that she needed to find another 90 year dick to suck on.

[Ksyrup]

WARNING! NSFW

It's a shot from the roast, so there's no nudity per se. However, given who the pic is of, and what's she's doing, there's as good a chance you'll get sick as get fired. So, a general warning.

hxxp://www.hollywoodrag.com/images/uploads/courtney_roasted_002.jpg

Not only hot, but classy, huh? :eek: