Ping: sov

[JeeberD]

Truthfully, how horrid is life on dialup? The finacee' and I are going to have to save up a ton of cash for our wedding in August and are going to have to cut expenses, and yesterday she brought up what I've been dreading...

"Maybe we should cancel the cable for the next ten months? That would save us at least $60 a month..."

Is downloading league files a pain or are they small enough that they don't take too long? How long does it take a page to load here? Etc...

[SackAttack]

Question #1: How expensive is the wedding going to be?
Question #2: Will $600 make an appreciable dent in that?

If Question #2 isn't "Yes, hell yes," then it's not worth even considering. :D

[gstelmack]

Turn off cable TV. But the cablemodem is indispensable. There HAVE to be other cuts to come first.

[JeeberD]

Question #1: How expensive is the wedding going to be?
Question #2: Will $600 make an appreciable dent in that?

If Question #2 isn't "Yes, hell yes," then it's not worth even considering. :D

All told, around $11k. The problem is that her parents are only going to pay $5k...

$600 would be $600 more than we would otherwise have.

gmelstack, I need you to convince her of that. She doesn't seem to believe me...

[rkmsuf]

can't get the OLN without cable :(

[sovereignstar]

Is downloading league files a pain or are they small enough that they don't take too long? How long does it take a page to load here? Etc...

For FOF leagues things aren't too bad, especially if the boxes/logs are broken up from the main league files.

OOTP and FBCB would be another story. Can't exactly recall how big OOTP files are, but it had a lot to do with my dropping out of the JBL.

Dial-up sucks. Pretty much why I took the plunge and got DSL last month! :)

[SackAttack]

All told, around $11k. The problem is that her parents are only going to pay $5k...

$600 would be $600 more than we would otherwise have.

gmelstack, I need you to convince her of that. She doesn't seem to believe me...

It'd be 10% of what you need to raise. That's appreciable.

But the key here is that you need to find a recurring expense of comparable size that she has to cut, as well. No reason you should be the only one to suffer in the name of love. :p

[LoneStarGirl]

Why an 11K wedding? Isn't that a little extreme for people on your income?

[rkmsuf]

No reason you should be the only one to suffer in the name of love. :p


mcfly, surely you are aware how things function on this planet.

[JeeberD]

For FOF leagues things aren't too bad, especially if the boxes/logs are broken up from the main league files.

OOTP and FBCB would be another story. Can't exactly recall how big OOTP files are, but it had a lot to do with my dropping out of the JBL.

Dial-up sucks. Pretty much why I took the plunge and got DSL last month! :)

Thanks. I'm no longer in any OOTP leagues, but the FBCB file could cause problems I suppose. Just as long as it wouldn't mess with my FOF leagues I guess I'll be fine...


Why an 11K wedding? Isn't that a little extreme for people on your income?

*shrug*

The place we found is awesome and it fits the kind of wedding that she's always wanted. It should hopefully be a little bit less than that because the photographer, DJ, and florist are all co-workers or former co-workers of mine and will cut us a deal. Also, her dad just got an offer for a new job and the salary is a good bit more then he's making now, so hopefully they'll wind up kicking and extra grand or two our way...

[vex]

11K...wow.

wow.

[JeeberD]

Dola-

Plus, you can't find anything decent for much less than that in the Dallas area...

[SackAttack]

mcfly, surely you are aware how things function on this planet.

Does the smiley reveal nothing?

[lurker]

If you have a laptop, you can download files and things like that at a place with free wireless, like Panera.

And hey, for all we know, Jeeber's fiancee uses the internet too -- so she's sacrificing also!

Edit -- although $11,000 sounds like a lot and is probably more than we'll spend, it's way less than the average of around $40,000.

[Hurst2112]

Dude, I got married in Vegas, by Elvis. Spent around 500 bills. That's 11K in stress you are going to deal with that weekend. Be prepared.

and congrats

[rkmsuf]

Does the smiley reveal nothing?


good point. I guess I'm McFly.

[gottimd]

Why an 11K wedding? Isn't that a little extreme for people on your income?
$11K, thats it? I would've given an arm and a leg if mine cost that little.

[SackAttack]

If you have a laptop, you can download files and things like that at a place with free wireless, like Panera.

And hey, for all we know, Jeeber's fiancee uses the internet too -- so she's sacrificing also!

It's not the same. It's like a guy coming into the relationship with a sports car - which maybe the fiancée drives every once in a while - but when it comes time to have kids, he's the one who has to trade it in for a minivan.

My mother uses the internet, but she doesn't get anything like the use out of it that my father does. Or me or my brother, for that matter. It's just kinda there for her, while the three of us have stronger connections to it (Dad uses it for work and the occasional Yahoo game, I run Gamenikki, participate in two FOF leagues and one OOTP league, and I really don't want to know what my brother does).

She would be the one to suffer least if we ever chucked the DSL.

Satellite TV, on the other hand? Hell hath no fury.

[lurker]

It's not the same. It's like a guy coming into the relationship with a sports car - which maybe the fiancée drives every once in a while - but when it comes time to have kids, he's the one who has to trade it in for a minivan.

My mother uses the internet, but she doesn't get anything like the use out of it that my father does. Or me or my brother, for that matter. It's just kinda there for her, while the three of us have stronger connections to it (Dad uses it for work and the occasional Yahoo game, I run Gamenikki, participate in two FOF leagues and one OOTP league, and I really don't want to know what my brother does).

She would be the one to suffer least if we ever chucked the DSL.

Satellite TV, on the other hand? Hell hath no fury.

What a load of bullshit. Your mother does not represent every woman. All I said was that we have don't know how much internet time she uses. I know plenty of women that use it more than men.

By the way, I have the sportscar and Passacaglia's the one that had the minivan.

[gottimd]

Edit -- although $11,000 sounds like a lot and is probably more than we'll spend, it's way less than the average of around $40,000.
I still would've given an arm and a leg to pay $40K. Word of advice, stay away from New York if you are trying to get married. They bend you over anyway they can.

[SackAttack]

What a load of bullshit. Your mother does not represent every woman. All I said was that we have don't know how much internet time she uses. I know plenty of women that use it more than men.

Passively, perhaps. But seriously, think about this: why is it that the vast majority of people with whom you'll interact on the non-obscene portions of the Internet are either men, or portraying themselves as such?

Women use it, I don't deny that, but I do think that the overwhelming majority of people who are actively *attached* to the Internet are men.

By the way, I have the sportscar and Passacaglia's the one that had the minivan.

Ah, but see? It was still the man in the relationship who had the van, even if he started with it initially. That absolves you having to give up the sports car.

[MizzouRah]

Truthfully, how horrid is life on dialup?
The truth? You can't handle the truth!!!!!!! :D

[digamma]

11K...wow.

wow.
$11,000 sounds exceedingly reasonable to me. Weddings are expensive. It's not like a TLC show where you can organize it in 7 days for $5000.

Good luck with everything Easy. It'll be worth it.

[KevinNU7]

Why an 11K wedding? Isn't that a little extreme for people on your income?
$11k is nothing in comparision to many people's weddings.

[lurker]

Passively, perhaps. But seriously, think about this: why is it that the vast majority of people with whom you'll interact on the non-obscene portions of the Internet are either men, or portraying themselves as such?

You would have to go to the non-obscene portion of the internet to know that. :p

But why is it so inconceivable that you would notice more men on the internet because you go on sites (like this one) that are geared towards men? I don't know if it's true that more men are attached to the internet. I'm in a very male-dominated field and when I go to a forum that is for that profession, I would say that the women there are still close 50%.



Ah, but see? It was still the man in the relationship who had the van, even if he started with it initially. That absolves you having to give up the sports car.

I don't even think you know what point you're trying to make -- that he would have to give something up because I asked?

[gottimd]

$11k is nothing in comparision to many people's weddings.
I can attest to that.

[Radii]

To each his own, obviously, but I'd be careful here if I were you. Planning a wedding is going to be extremely, extremely stressful on her, and thus on you, no matter how much or little you are(or plan to be) involved in the process. If surfing the net, and playing these games is how you de-stress, then over the next 10 months high speed internet is going to be worth a hell of a lot more than $60/mo to you. I'd pick and choose my "non-negotiable" items carefully, but I'd make this one of them if it were me.

Note that I don't mean to say that spending a lot on the wedding, or the wedding planning itself, is a bad thing at all. But it *will* be extrodinarily stressful at times, and I wouldn't give this one up.

TV, no problem, high speed net access, no way.

While we're here, I'll go ahead and throw out my own word of caution about spending more than you guys can afford on the wedding. Oliegirl and I had a very nice, very big(by my standards at least) wedding, but her parents had the money saved up to pay for it. We've talked about how fortunate we are that her parents are in good financial shape and were able to do that for us. I'll do everything in my power to be able to do the same for my kids too. BUT, money troubles can be hard on a couple, espicially a newly married one figuring how to do all of this together for the first time. Be careful about spending so much that you add unnecessary financial trouble to the first few years of marriage as well.

All of that said, good luck, hopefully ya'll get the wedding you want without having to give up too much for it :)

[CamEdwards]

$11,000 sounds exceedingly reasonable to me. Weddings are expensive. It's not like a TLC show where you can organize it in 7 days for $5000.

Good luck with everything Easy. It'll be worth it.

Oh yeah? We spent less than 500 dollars on ours. Had a lovely outdoors wedding in the park, didn't invite a ton of people, catered the reception ourselves.

This is not directed at Jeeber or anyone else in particular, but why on earth you'd want to spend thousands of dollars on a day that, in retrospect, in no way shape or form resembles the actual process of being married is beyond me.

BTW, I called my wife before I posted this and asked her if she had any regrets about not having a big, expensive wedding. She said "Hell, no."

My advice, Jeebs? Elope and keep the cable modem.

[gottimd]

Oh yeah? We spent less than 500 dollars on ours. Had a lovely outdoors wedding in the park, didn't invite a ton of people, catered the reception ourselves.

This is not directed at Jeeber or anyone else in particular, but why on earth you'd want to spend thousands of dollars on a day that, in retrospect, in no way shape or form resembles the actual process of being married is beyond me.

My advice, Jeebs? Elope and keep the cable modem.
That is what I wanted to do, but instead took the other route.
CamEdwards=Good Advice.

[SackAttack]

You would have to go to the non-obscene portion of the internet to know that. :p

Are you suggesting FOFC is obscene?

Wait, don't answer that.

But why is it so inconceivable that you would notice more men on the internet because you go on sites (like this one) that are geared towards men? I don't know if it's true that more men are attached to the internet. I'm in a very male-dominated field and when I go to a forum that is for that profession, I would say that the women there are still close 50%.

I'd tend to think business-related or business-mandated use is a different animal than leisure use. That's just me. That's not being attached to the Internet, that's being tethered to it.

I don't even think you know what point you're trying to make -- that he would have to give something up because I asked?

It's not the idea of "something." There are many times when it's perfectly appropriate.

It's the idea of specific things. Let me put this another way. Can you think of something reasonably major that you would feel it appropriate for Passacaglia to ask you to give up if a "happy" change to your lives together were to occur that necessitated some reappraisal?

[lurker]

I'd tend to think business-related or business-mandated use is a different animal than leisure use. That's just me. That's not being attached to the Internet, that's being tethered to it.


It's not a site required for work at all. I thought you would say that -- but it's pretty much the same as this forum, where it started out being for one thing, but ended up being about whatever random thoughts pop into your head. In fact, pretty much every weird news story I see here is also there -- often with the same thread title. There's sub-forums for politics, sports, puzzles, poker, and just polls (with questions about what to have for lunch and whether a certain actress is hot). The point is, it's the exact same thing, where people make jokes about how they're addicted and have no life because they're on the forum. And there's plenty of women.



It's the idea of specific things. Let me put this another way. Can you think of something reasonably major that you would feel it appropriate for Passacaglia to ask you to give up if a "happy" change to your lives together were to occur that necessitated some reappraisal?


No, I can't think of anything. And I wouldn't ask him to give up something that was important to him. I like him to be happy!

[digamma]

Oh yeah? We spent less than 500 dollars on ours. Had a lovely outdoors wedding in the park, didn't invite a ton of people, catered the reception ourselves.

This is not directed at Jeeber or anyone else in particular, but why on earth you'd want to spend thousands of dollars on a day that, in retrospect, in no way shape or form resembles the actual process of being married is beyond me.

BTW, I called my wife before I posted this and asked her if she had any regrets about not having a big, expensive wedding. She said "Hell, no."

My advice, Jeebs? Elope and keep the cable modem.
To each his own. It's great you had a fantastic wedding and spent so little.

We went a different route and I wouldn't trade our wedding and the weekend surrounding it for anything. There are too few times in life where most (if not all) of the people closest to you come together to celebrate something. For me, my wedding was one of those and it was worth it to spend several thousand dollars for that weekend.

Looking back, were there things we could have done without? Probably. But would I change it now? Probably not.

[SackAttack]

It's not a site required for work at all. I thought you would say that -- but it's pretty much the same as this forum, where it started out being for one thing, but ended up being about whatever random thoughts pop into your head. In fact, pretty much every weird news story I see here is also there -- often with the same thread title. There's sub-forums for politics, sports, puzzles, poker, and just polls (with questions about what to have for lunch and whether a certain actress is hot). The point is, it's the exact same thing, where people make jokes about how they're addicted and have no life because they're on the forum. And there's plenty of women.

Okay.

I'll tip my hat to your expertise on this particular subject, rather than have us chase one another around in circles for hours.

No, I can't think of anything. And I wouldn't ask him to give up something that was important to him. I like him to be happy!

Then that makes you a rare jewel among women! :D

[finketr]

Truthfully, how horrid is life on dialup? The finacee' and I are going to have to save up a ton of cash for our wedding in August and are going to have to cut expenses, and yesterday she brought up what I've been dreading...

"Maybe we should cancel the cable for the next ten months? That would save us at least $60 a month..."

Is downloading league files a pain or are they small enough that they don't take too long? How long does it take a page to load here? Etc...

Elope.

This is a pretty good idea.

Oh, where are your parents with the cash to help pay for the wedding?

[lurker]

No, I can't think of anything. And I wouldn't ask him to give up something that was important to him. I like him to be happy!

That's not to imply that Jeeber's fiancee doesn't want him to be happy. Presumably she's not forcing him to do this and it's something he might think is a good idea also.

[gottimd]

I agree with Cam for the most part. We went overboard in an area where they rape you on prices. I enjoyed every minute of it and of course there were things that could've been cut back on to save money for the place we just bought, I'm just glad its over. From Day 1, I told my wife, I could care less what is there, as long as she was there. The colors of the invitations, the table cloths, the centerpieces, the band songs, etc was just too much.

All in all you can pay a huge amount of money for a 4 hour or so event, or you can have a smaller elegant wedding and save the money you would've spent on a huge extravaganza for a real estate investment where you can at least (in most cases) get a return on your money.

[stevew]

11K seems way excessive, especially when you already live together. If you can't do it on the 5k her parents are providing, I'd seriously consider eloping.

[Warhammer]

That's not to imply that Jeeber's fiancee doesn't want him to be happy. Presumably she's not forcing him to do this and it's something he might think is a good idea also.

Yeah, that's what married life is for! :D

Sorry, had to be said!

[vtbub]

Can't you go DSL? Or no landline and save that way?

[stevew]

Any chance of you moonlighting at another bar, maybe like 1 day a week for extra money? Seems like it would be easier to work that little bit extra for the next 3-4 months instead of having to cut back on some stuff.

[rkmsuf]

do you? yes.

do you? yes.

you're married.

[SackAttack]

do you? yes.

do you? yes.

you're married.

Yay! Spaceballs reference!

[JasonC23]

do you? yes.

do you? yes.

you're married.
Good! You're married! Kiss 'er!

[rkmsuf]

Hail Skroob!

[SackAttack]

When does this happen in the movie?

[CamEdwards]

I agree with Cam for the most part. We went overboard in an area where they rape you on prices. I enjoyed every minute of it and of course there were things that could've been cut back on to save money for the place we just bought, I'm just glad its over. From Day 1, I told my wife, I could care less what is there, as long as she was there. The colors of the invitations, the table cloths, the centerpieces, the band songs, etc was just too much.

All in all you can pay a huge amount of money for a 4 hour or so event, or you can have a smaller elegant wedding and save the money you would've spent on a huge extravaganza for a real estate investment where you can at least (in most cases) get a return on your money.

I've been going back and trying to think of what we could have done differently to spend more money and I just can't. I think you and I are of the same mind on this. The wedding day is about you and your new wife. I suppose I could have invited everybody I knew, but why? If they're a part of my life, they'll see us as a couple soon enough. If they're not really a part of my life, why waste the money?

I suppose by going the small intimate wedding route we missed out on wedding presents, but oh well. We had a great day, we didn't go into debt, and we're still going strong eight years later.

I guess I'm just too practical to see the purpose in spending thousands of dollars on just one day of my marriage. Maybe if we make it to our 30th or 40th wedding anniversary, but not until then.

[Ksyrup]

Our wedding was $10K 8 years ago, and it was great. My wife did a terrific job. And she used her inheritance to pay for it. I think I paid $500 for the church, and that was only because of "tradition."

I also got out of having to buy an expensive engagement ring because she insisted we use a diamond passed down from her great-grandmother. I think, all told, I spent about $750 on the engagement and wedding.

[Celeval]

Ours was about that in Atlanta, and we kept a lot of expenses to the minimum. Especially if you want professional photos, a church, etc.

[JeeberD]

Oh yeah? We spent less than 500 dollars on ours. Had a lovely outdoors wedding in the park, didn't invite a ton of people, catered the reception ourselves.

This is not directed at Jeeber or anyone else in particular, but why on earth you'd want to spend thousands of dollars on a day that, in retrospect, in no way shape or form resembles the actual process of being married is beyond me.

BTW, I called my wife before I posted this and asked her if she had any regrets about not having a big, expensive wedding. She said "Hell, no."

My advice, Jeebs? Elope and keep the cable modem.

Different strokes for different folks. We've discussed getting married in Vegas. We've discussed going to the JP. The discussions always end the same, that's not what either of us want. I don't want a huge wedding, but I DO want my friends and extended family to attend. I DO want the wedding to take place somewhere nice. I DO want a wedding that my fiancee' will be happy with.

She wants an outdoor wedding and a reception in a room with many windows, not in a closed hotel ballroom. We've looked (both in person and on-line) at a number of places and the place we've found fits what she wants to a T and isn't nearly as expensive as most of the others. It's a place that would make both of us happy, and I can't ask for much more than that.

[Ksyrup]

My wife found a country club in Broward County that gave us a buffet, cake, flowers, appetizers, open bar, etc., for $5K for 4 hours for 100 guests. Nice place, too, and very good food. She made the centerpieces for the tables and a few other things, but she hired a photographer and videographer. Church was on Las Olas across from a canal. Everything came to around $10K, which I think was a steal given the 3 weddings we've been to this year and the sticker price I've seen.

[JeeberD]

Oh, where are your parents with the cash to help pay for the wedding?

They're offering up as much for our Honeymoon as her parents are offering for the weddding itself. And they'll be paying for the rehearsal dinner. Add in the fact that they've bailed my ass out of debt before makes me not want to ask them for any additional money. If they offer it I'll obsolutely take it, but I don't want to go begging them for more money...

[rkmsuf]

When does this happen in the movie?

I can't even remember.

[SackAttack]

I can't even remember.

"This is happening now. Everything that's happening now, is happening now."

That was your cue. :(

[JeeberD]

That's not to imply that Jeeber's fiancee doesn't want him to be happy. Presumably she's not forcing him to do this and it's something he might think is a good idea also.

No, I didn't take it that way at all. And she's not forcing me to do anything, she just brought up the subject since we were talking about trying to save money...

Oh, and just for the record, I use the internet WAY more than she does. ;)

[gottimd]

My wife found a country club in Broward County that gave us a buffet, cake, flowers, appetizers, open bar, etc., for $5K for 4 hours for 100 guests. Nice place, too, and very good food. She made the centerpieces for the tables and a few other things, but she hired a photographer and videographer. Church was on Las Olas across from a canal. Everything came to around $10K, which I think was a steal given the 3 weddings we've been to this year and the sticker price I've seen.
Yes, sounds very nice. The room and food alone where I got married (only 3 months ago) was $30K.

[JeeberD]

11K seems way excessive, especially when you already live together. If you can't do it on the 5k her parents are providing, I'd seriously consider eloping.

What, because we already live together we can't have a nice wedding? Whatever...

[rkmsuf]

"This is happening now. Everything that's happening now, is happening now."

That was your cue. :(


dammit. *hangs head*

never play this part again.

[JeeberD]

Can't you go DSL? Or no landline and save that way?

We don't have a landline as it is, so I'm not positive about how this works but I'm guessing that if we want DSL or dialup we're going to have to get a landline as well. If we can get internet only over a phone line that'll be great, but if not than maybe I can keep my cable modem by convincing her it would cost more for the dialup and landline combined... :D

[KevinNU7]

Jeebs, check your PMs

[JeeberD]

Any chance of you moonlighting at another bar, maybe like 1 day a week for extra money? Seems like it would be easier to work that little bit extra for the next 3-4 months instead of having to cut back on some stuff.

I already work six days a week plus go to school. A second job would be worse than getting rid of the cable... :eek:

[JeeberD]

Jeebs, check your PMs

Got it and it's something I'll look into, but that's really a route I'm trying to resist. Thanks for the info, though! :)

[SackAttack]

Got it and it's something I'll look into, but that's really a route I'm trying to resist. Thanks for the info, though! :)

JeeberD Bigalow?

[Ksyrup]

Have you thought about offering your FOFC posting privileges for rent to HornsManiac, the Wigs, Happy, and all of our other dearly-departed alumni, for, say, $.50 a post?

[CamEdwards]

Yes, sounds very nice. The room and food alone where I got married (only 3 months ago) was $30K.

Good lord. Everytime I click back on this thread I'm more and more thankful I married the woman I did.

[JeeberD]

Have you thought about offering your FOFC posting privileges for rent to HornsManiac, the Wigs, Happy, and all of our other dearly-departed alumni, for, say, $.50 a post?

Goldmine! You've solved our problems! :D

Uhh...will I still be allowed to post under an alt? Or do I have to disappear altogether?

[rkmsuf]

Goldmine! You've solved our problems! :D

Uhh...will I still be allowed to post under an alt? Or do I have to disappear altogether?

you can be clown142

[gottimd]

Good lord. Everytime I click back on this thread I'm more and more thankful I married the woman I did.
Believe me, the price had nothing to do with the woman, just the area that she is from. We checked down in DC, and the hotels didn't undercut that price much either. The thing is, is had an interfaith marriage, so couldn't do it in a church, to please my family. And couldn't do it outside because the Bishop where she is from decreed some sort of Anti-outdoor wedding. So we were limited on choices.

[vtbub]

We don't have a landline as it is, so I'm not positive about how this works but I'm guessing that if we want DSL or dialup we're going to have to get a landline as well. If we can get internet only over a phone line that'll be great, but if not than maybe I can keep my cable modem by convincing her it would cost more for the dialup and landline combined... :D

ding ding. It does us.

[Ben E Lou]

11K...wow.

wow.11K sounds very, very inexpensive to me. {shrug}

[Radii]

If we can get internet only over a phone line that'll be great, but if not than maybe I can keep my cable modem by convincing her it would cost more for the dialup and landline combined... :D


Yeah, don't dump the high speed in this case. When i looked into this in Atlanta Bellsouth was going to charge us what would have amounted to $14/mo before all of hte outrageous phone taxes for a bare bones line, and add in your dialup service on top of that, and you're just not saving enough to make it worth dumping the net access. I'd imagine you're going to spend $30/mo for phone+dialup.

[Lathum]

Different strokes for different folks. We've discussed getting married in Vegas. We've discussed going to the JP. The discussions always end the same, that's not what either of us want. I don't want a huge wedding, but I DO want my friends and extended family to attend. I DO want the wedding to take place somewhere nice. I DO want a wedding that my fiancee' will be happy with.

She wants an outdoor wedding and a reception in a room with many windows, not in a closed hotel ballroom. We've looked (both in person and on-line) at a number of places and the place we've found fits what she wants to a T and isn't nearly as expensive as most of the others. It's a place that would make both of us happy, and I can't ask for much more than that.


Sneaky Pete's :)


seriously though, why don't you tell her you will pick up one extra shift a month and physicaly hand her the money from that extra shift.

[rkmsuf]

Sneaky Pete's :)


seriously though, why don't you tell her you will pick up one extra shift a month and physicaly hand her the money from that extra shift.

because that's less time for them to be together.

think man.

[Lathum]

because that's less time for them to be together.

think man.
I actually was thinking that after i hit submit...

[JHandley]

Dude, I got married in Vegas, by Elvis. Spent around 500 bills. That's 11K in stress you are going to deal with that weekend. Be prepared.

and congrats


I did too!!!

It was awesome. You just call up Elvis, schedule a date and time and then Elvis takes care of the rest. I can't believe more people don't do it this way. Everyone had a blast, the wedding was a nice wedding. It was fun, but it was kinda serious too.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Jeeber - get used to giving up things that you enjoy. It only gets worse once she changes her last name. :D

[JeeberD]

Speaking of last names, how receptive was Arles to you wanting to hyphenate your name? My lady wants to hypenate hers (primarily because she likes her last name and doesn't want it to "die out"...her little bro is gay and probably won't be having any kids) but I'm not the biggest fan of it. The more time that goes by the less it bothers me, but when she first told me that's what she wanted to do it was kind of a shock...

[KevinNU7]

What's her last name? We are naming our first son her maiden name so it made her giving it up not only easy but mandatory

[CamEdwards]

Believe me, the price had nothing to do with the woman, just the area that she is from. We checked down in DC, and the hotels didn't undercut that price much either. The thing is, is had an interfaith marriage, so couldn't do it in a church, to please my family. And couldn't do it outside because the Bishop where she is from decreed some sort of Anti-outdoor wedding. So we were limited on choices.

I wasn't trying to denigrate anyone's wife and I hope you didn't take it that way. Sorry if it came out wrong.

[JeeberD]

What's her last name? We are naming our first son her maiden name so it made her giving it up not only easy but mandatory

Ondrusek. I don't think that would work very well as a first name... ;)

[gottimd]

I wasn't trying to denigrate anyone's wife and I hope you didn't take it that way. Sorry if it came out wrong.
No, no offense taken, I understood what you meant.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Speaking of last names, how receptive was Arles to you wanting to hyphenate your name? My lady wants to hypenate hers (primarily because she likes her last name and doesn't want it to "die out"...her little bro is gay and probably won't be having any kids) but I'm not the biggest fan of it. The more time that goes by the less it bothers me, but when she first told me that's what she wanted to do it was kind of a shock... Our situation was a little different. I had already established myself in my career as "Whitworth". I was concerned that dropping that entirely would be harmful to my practice. Plus I really didn't want a full name that sounded like one word, or one that could be confused with the leader of the Nation of Islam.

So we compromised. Our children would take his last name, and if I wouldn't freak out if someone called me Mrs. Rahn, he didn't have a problem with it. I've stuck to half of the agreement. His son has his last name, and I do freak out if someone calls me Mrs. Rahn. That's his mother.

[KevinNU7]

Ondrusek. I don't think that would work very well as a first name... ;)
You could call him Drew :)

[lurker]

No, I can't think of anything. And I wouldn't ask him to give up something that was important to him. I like him to be happy!

Then that makes you a rare jewel among women! :D

Thanks! I've got to say, reading about how so many men have problems with women keeping their names, I've got a rare guy too! :)

How is asking a woman to give up her name not worse than asking a man to give up internet access? Not that I'm making an argument for you to give up the internet, just asking you to consider the other side.

[Ksyrup]

Ondrusek. I don't think that would work very well as a first name... ;)Even hyphenating it is a problem: Wanda Ondrusek-Myballs. What kind of woman what want THAT as a name?!?!?



;)

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

So Jeebs, you'd better be planning on inviting all of your FOFC friends. It's rude to talk about the plans and then not invite us.

Plus it means more gifts for you and the lovely future Mrs. JeeberD.

[gottimd]

So Jeebs, you'd better be planning on inviting all of your FOFC friends. It's rude to talk about the plans and then not invite us.

Plus it means more gifts for you and the lovely future Mrs. JeeberD.
Just explain to her that you have to invite every member of all of the MP leagues you are in.

[JeeberD]

Just explain to her that you have to invite every member of all of the MP leagues you are in.

Hmmm...if I do that and then you guys each give $100 instead of a gift, the wedding will pay for itself! :D

[JeeberD]

How is asking a woman to give up her name not worse than asking a man to give up internet access? Not that I'm making an argument for you to give up the internet, just asking you to consider the other side.

I understand, and I'm not telling her that she can't keep her last name. I was just shocked at first because I'm a fairly traditional guy and always expected my wife to be Mrs Eckberg. Like I said, the further along we go in this process the more used to the idea I get...

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Hmmm...if I do that and then you guys each give $100 instead of a gift, the wedding will pay for itself! :D
Do Arlie and I count as 1 or 2? :p

[lurker]

I understand, and I'm not telling her that she can't keep her last name. I was just shocked at first because I'm a fairly traditional guy and always expected my wife to be Mrs Eckberg. Like I said, the further along we go in this process the more used to the idea I get...

Ah, okay, that makes sense. For me, it was the reverse situation. I always assumed that name-changing is not something people of my generation would do. Now that I know people my age who are married and did change their names, I've been surprised...but I'm getting used to it too!

[JeeberD]

Do Arlie and I count as 1 or 2? :p

Y'all are stinkin' rich, you can afford $200... ;)

[KevinNU7]

Y'all are stinkin' rich, you can afford $200... ;)
FYI - Plan cash gifts to be about $50 person, that seemed to be the average for our wedding.

[CamEdwards]

Ondrusek. I don't think that would work very well as a first name... ;)

Isn't that the last name of the Five for Fighting guy? Is she related? Hell, have HIM pay for the wedding. :p

[CamEdwards]

dola, nevermind. it's Ondrasik. so close to a free wedding, too.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Y'all are stinkin' rich, you can afford $200... ;)
But I'm cheap. :D

[JeeberD]

dola, nevermind. it's Ondrasik. so close to a free wedding, too.

One of the dudes from Ace of Base was an Ekberg...our family name before it got changed to Eckberg when my great grandfather immigrated here. Doubtful that we're related though, and anyways, nobody from Ace of Base probably made enough money to pay for other peoples weddings. ;)

[Pumpy Tudors]

Oh, and just for the record, I use the internet WAY more than she does. ;)
No wonder she hasn't responded to my e-mails.

[SackAttack]

Thanks! I've got to say, reading about how so many men have problems with women keeping their names, I've got a rare guy too! :)

How is asking a woman to give up her name not worse than asking a man to give up internet access? Not that I'm making an argument for you to give up the internet, just asking you to consider the other side.

Frankly, that never bothered me much. I think hyphenated names are stupid, but as for the practice of maiden names in general, there are cultures where the man takes the woman's name. Sometimes it's just practice, sometimes it's "what's in it for me?" in the sense that the guy will do it if it adds to his own prestige.

A sign that he married well and all that, I guess.

I just don't get the hangup over names, really. Yes, the woman changing her name can be symbolic of the merging of two into one, but I really wouldn't have a problem with it going the other way, either. Just up to the couple, I guess.

Just as long as we don't have any situations like, well...okay, use JeeberD's example of Ondrusek, right? Did you see where somebody came up with "Ondrusek-Myballs?" That one is ludicrous, but my last name is Hiscock.

If I were dating a woman with that last name and she insisted on going the hyphenated route, in fairly short order I wouldn't be worrying about an $11k wedding. :D

I see too many of those really retarded hyphenates to ever really be accepting of them, and I don't think it's right to put kids through that like some parents do, where they insist on giving the kid the hyphenated name. Primary school is rough enough on kids without giving their playmates added fuel for the fire.

Plus, I mean, what happens when Sarah Smith-Jefferson grows up and gets married? She becomes Sarah Smith-Jefferson-Johanson? That's a law firm, not a name.

/rant :D

[CamEdwards]

I think Mrs. Ondrusek-Eckburg is a mouthful to say. But that's just me.

[SackAttack]

I think Mrs. Ondrusek-Eckburg is a mouthful to say. But that's just me.

Probably flows better the other way so that you don't get that repeat ek-eck sound.

[Passacaglia]

Well, here's my advice: Get rid of the DJ and the photographer. I don't know how much those cost you, but in my experience, the DJ's charge a lot (although, I know you had some kind of deal), and usually end up hurting more than they help. Of course, if you've hired a friend you trust, that's less likely to happen. Same thing with the photographer. Again, my experience with photographers (granted, I've only started paying attention to this sort of thing lately) is that they get too bossy, making the day more about posing for pictures and less about celebrating.

11K sounds like a lot to me, but I really have no idea how much it will all cost for us in the end, since we really haven't done anything to plan yet.

[gottimd]

Well, here's my advice: Get rid of the DJ and the photographer. I don't know how much those cost you, but in my experience, the DJ's charge a lot (although, I know you had some kind of deal), and usually end up hurting more than they help. Of course, if you've hired a friend you trust, that's less likely to happen. Same thing with the photographer. Again, my experience with photographers (granted, I've only started paying attention to this sort of thing lately) is that they get too bossy, making the day more about posing for pictures and less about celebrating.

11K sounds like a lot to me, but I really have no idea how much it will all cost for us in the end, since we really haven't done anything to plan yet.
We priced Bands which were a lot more than DJ's.

As for the photographer, couldn't agree with you more. Ours was taking away from the moments, pulling us aside for fake candid shots, it was so annoying. He actually took pictures of us in the hotel in a mirrored hallway, which from the proofs, as everyone told the guy when he was taking the picture, we just be a huge reflection of the flash. Idiot! Our photographer missed the two of us seeing us for the first time because he was reloading film so we had to fake that too, which obviously I am no actor so I tried, but it looked so poor.

I have seen some people leave cameras everywhere to cut costs and have everyone take pictures and leave the camera. Also, we have some family members who took tons of pictures which turned out better than the proofs we saw, and we just saved them on like snapfish, kodak, shutterfly, etc.

[Glengoyne]

On with the topic, I haven't read all of the wedding advice pointers, so I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but life does exist on Dial up.

I live in the country where DSL traditionally hasn't reached. I've had to live with 56k dialup for the past five years. It does complicate MP leagues, as the files are pretty big, and sometimes have to be started when you aren't going to be otherwise using the Internet for a while. Like overnight. or over dinner. The FBCB files aren't too bad. At 56k I get them in under an hour.

In two weeks, I will be getting DSL. I've got my fingers crossed, hoping that Verizon isn't just blowing sunshine up my skirt. As of November 8th, I should be surfing in style.

[Passacaglia]

We priced Bands which were a lot more than DJ's.

My cost cutting alternative wasn't a band -- it was a laptop or MP3 player and some speakers. We're pretty picky about what music is played, so we feel like no one but us should have absolute control over it. Maybe it's sounds cheap, but my mom and stepdad just played a mixed tape at their reception, so I don't see why we can't do the equivalent for this decade.

[JAG]

My cost cutting alternative wasn't a band -- it was a laptop or MP3 player and some speakers. We're pretty picky about what music is played, so we feel like no one but us should have absolute control over it. Maybe it's sounds cheap, but my mom and stepdad just played a mixed tape at their reception, so I don't see why we can't do the equivalent for this decade.

I went to a wedding recently where a friend had an ipod run by a friend as their music. I thought it went solidly.

BTW, I have a great recommendation for a photographer in the Chicago area. Just send a PM if you want it.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Can't help with the cost saving, but I think I solved the last name issue.

How-z-about you both change your name to Ondrusekberg?

[JeeberD]

Idon't know. Eckbrusek maybe?

[rkmsuf]

I've always been a fan of the understated wedding. Something simple and fun with the emphasis on fun...something your friends will enjoy sharing with you. Elaborate productions just don't do it for me.