Unnecessary Articles, Take 2,362

[Ksyrup]

"Lucy Liu Tours Quake-Battered Pakistan"

Um...OK?

[sterlingice]

Why was Pakistan covered in cake batter?

SI

[rkmsuf]

Bono takes a dump. More at 11.

[Bee]

Id Software released a new Quake?

[Fonzie]

Why was Pakistan covered in cake batter?

SI

Yummier that way.

[gottimd]

Stan packed Cake batter to tour with Lucy Liu?

[rkmsuf]

I can picture the Pakistan people being like "Who the hell is this person? Will she blow me?"

[gottimd]

I can picture the Pakistan people being like "Who the hell is this person? Will she blow me?"
Can you post those pictures?

[stevew]

Sheehan Tossed From Capitol Over T-Shirt

[rkmsuf]

Can you post those pictures?

sorry, got nothing. maybe you should hang out at pakistanbangbus.com.

[sterlingice]

Wait? So Lucy Liu was wrestling someone named Stan in cake batter? Naked?

SI

[Ksyrup]

All of those have significantly more merit as articles than the original.

[Butter]

Did she meet with the Pakistani President/PM? It's always better that way... I never can figure out the point of those meetings, but they usually happen.

[rkmsuf]

Did she meet with the Pakistani President/PM? It's always better that way... I never can figure out the point of those meetings, but they usually happen.

Maybe she blew him.

[sterlingice]

All of those have significantly more merit as articles than the original.I just figured a fun game of telephone would make this a lot more interesting :D

SI

[sabotai]

New Jersey Man Drives Home Safely From Work



Hey guys, I'm in the news!!!

[CraigSca]

I think it's great that someone from Hollywood is finally using their natural superpowers for good rather than evil.

[Ksyrup]

I probably should have mentioned the part of the article that made this an even bigger non-event:

The American actress, who arrived Tuesday and was to depart Thursday, was not speaking to the media as she visited the disaster zone with UNICEF, the U.N. children's agency.


So what exactly makes this a story - actress visits area, doesn't speak to media. Film at 11?

[Raven Hawk]

Man Sits at Desk and Reads Message Board All Day

Film at eleven . . .

[gottimd]

Man Sits at Desk and Reads Message Board All Day while eating human remains and defecating razor blades

Film at Ten Thirty . . .
Oh yeah, this news will get better ratings!

[Desnudo]

Man Sits at Desk and Reads Message Board All Day

Film at eleven . . .

I've seen it, the ending is a little flat.

[CraigSca]

Speaking of Lucy Liu, is there anyone out there that says to themselves, "Hey, it has Lucy Liu in it, I will definitely put that on my must-see list"?

She's so inconsequential, it's frightening.