Ben E Lou
02-14-2006, 07:22 AM
I'd never seen this before. My comments in red.
You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" or you have ever included the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."
You only know your way to work, and your way home.
You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy. Only communists and soccer players drink Pepsi.
You know to wear sneakers to the airport. Heh. Very true. It can sometimes be a challenge to dress nicely enough to be appropriate for where you're heading, but casual enough to have on sneakers.
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.
You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are. That USED to be true. All these $%(*#$ yankees around here have caused this to be less and less true. :(
You can pronounce "Ponce De Leon Avenue" correctly. This one made me laugh. That's "Ponce" as in "rhymes with 'fonts'" and "Leon" as in "Spinks."
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. Inaccurate. There ARE no traffic rules on 285.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month, shouting about STORM WATCH 2000!! All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. It cracks me up when people buy all that milk, and I've even seen a run on ICE. Uh, just put your stuff OUTSIDE, people!
If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, and every school in the surrounding 5 Counties will close immediately
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.
You will ride the MARTA Trains all day long, but REFUSE to ride the Bus, no matter what. Hehehehe.
You know who "Uncle Teddy" is.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.
Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
You have a slight real clinical heart attack everytime it takes Michael Vick longer than 10 seconds to get up off the ground, after he is tackled.
Youve actually considered the thought of murdering someone for not using their turn signal.
You never go 55 on "The Watermelon 500" or "The Georgia 400".
You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already. Yup.
You know what "Kudzu" is.
You know how to do both the "Tomahawk Chop" and the "Bankhead Bounce", and are also aware of what it takes to get "Crunk" It always cracks me up to hear 50-year-old very Southern white men talking about how we're going to get crunk at the game tonight, and my board chairman's wife is as "white" as she can be...but I've seen her do the Bankhead Bounce. :D
You know what a "Varsity" is and know is has nothing to do with sports.
You've been to a "Laser Show"
You remember when you had to go to a mall to eat a "Chik-Fil-A" The free-standing Chick-Fil-A in Tucker is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
You've never gone around the block and ended up on the street you started on.
You elect to NOT get leather seats in your car, from fear of your butt and back, melting to them. Atlantans can be wimps about the heat/humidity. You want to know what heat and humidity are all about? Cross the Columbus-Macon-Savannah "Gnat Line," then you'll understand why it seems like I'm always a little chilly in the A-T-L. ;)
You know where 'Butthead' and 'F*ckhead' are, and know it's the same part of town.
You know what a "Cyclorama" is, but have probably only been to it once, if ever, and it was as a child. True for me. Been there once, I think in Junior High.
You haven't been downtown at night in years
To you, "Ronald Reagan" and "Freedom" mean you have to drive as fast as your car can possibly go.
You've woken up at 4:30 am on workdays to beat the traffic to work, intending to leave work before 3 pm to compensate.
You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them ideal
You've gone to "Shoot The Hooch" before.
You know what "Sunshine Slowdown", "Auto-Flambe", and "Topside" mean, and you know what color a "H.E.R.O." is.
You know where PIB, JCB, FIB, MLK, PDK and "The Grady Curve" are, and you try to never go there, for any reason, during any of the nine hours of rush "hour"
You know what "ITP" and "OTP" mean, and depending on which one you are, you loathe the other one. This one is a quandary for me. I'm technically OTP, but I'm not fond of OTPers OR ITPers as a group. We need a new category: NTP (NEAR The Perimeter). We NTPers are the best of both worlds. ;)
You've thought about getting a blow-up doll companion for the front passenger seat. ROFLMBAO!!! I thought I was the only one who considered that...
If you watch a movie or TV show that was filmed in Atlanta, you have no idea what that is going on in the story, because you are too busy looking for places you recognize. I've seen Remember The Titans an untold number of times. I still get distracted watching the scenes at Druid Hills High School, Adams Stadium and the scenes that have kids I know in the background as extras. :p
You would only go to a "Hawks" game if they were playing The Lakers. (OR, if your major donor with courtside seats gives you four tickets to take high school guys to the game....)
You have a surreal sense of pride if your phone number starts with the digits "404" (Yup, there's one reason to hate ITPers! :mad: )
You've actually eaten something called "Okra" at least once.
You've also eaten something called "Grits" before. As a matter of fact, unlike "Okra", you probably love "Grits" WORD!
You know who "Mr. Goober" is.
"Matlock" is one of your heros.
You remember being able to get to any point, from any point, in the Metro Area in "Twenty Minutes"
You wonder who the idiot was who designed the highway system and if they were related to Hitler, or perhaps was even Satan himself.
You curse The Olympics at least once a week. I usually referred to it as "that thing downtown where those faggotty ITPers stood at attention when a foreign National Anthem was being played on Georgian soil." :nad:
The idea of unsweetened, hot, tea repulses you. More spawn of Satan.
You have never felt a more intense pain in your life then walking barefoot on the pavement in August. Again, wimps. Try doing it in South Georgia.
You have no idea what is actually inside "The World Of Coca Cola" Hehe. I don't think I've been there since I lived in metro Atlanta. I went before I did, though.
You've been in traffic on 85, 75, 20 or 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile ahead.
You commonly ask yourself whos idea it was to make buying beer on a Sunday illegal, and why no other city on Earth seems to have this law.
It's 4:30 pm Sunday, you're stone-cold sober and you've just finished the last left-over hot dog when you realize that in exactly 12 hours you have to get up and go to work - again
You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" or you have ever included the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."
You only know your way to work, and your way home.
You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy. Only communists and soccer players drink Pepsi.
You know to wear sneakers to the airport. Heh. Very true. It can sometimes be a challenge to dress nicely enough to be appropriate for where you're heading, but casual enough to have on sneakers.
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.
You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are. That USED to be true. All these $%(*#$ yankees around here have caused this to be less and less true. :(
You can pronounce "Ponce De Leon Avenue" correctly. This one made me laugh. That's "Ponce" as in "rhymes with 'fonts'" and "Leon" as in "Spinks."
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. Inaccurate. There ARE no traffic rules on 285.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month, shouting about STORM WATCH 2000!! All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. It cracks me up when people buy all that milk, and I've even seen a run on ICE. Uh, just put your stuff OUTSIDE, people!
If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, and every school in the surrounding 5 Counties will close immediately
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.
You will ride the MARTA Trains all day long, but REFUSE to ride the Bus, no matter what. Hehehehe.
You know who "Uncle Teddy" is.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.
Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
You have a slight real clinical heart attack everytime it takes Michael Vick longer than 10 seconds to get up off the ground, after he is tackled.
Youve actually considered the thought of murdering someone for not using their turn signal.
You never go 55 on "The Watermelon 500" or "The Georgia 400".
You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already. Yup.
You know what "Kudzu" is.
You know how to do both the "Tomahawk Chop" and the "Bankhead Bounce", and are also aware of what it takes to get "Crunk" It always cracks me up to hear 50-year-old very Southern white men talking about how we're going to get crunk at the game tonight, and my board chairman's wife is as "white" as she can be...but I've seen her do the Bankhead Bounce. :D
You know what a "Varsity" is and know is has nothing to do with sports.
You've been to a "Laser Show"
You remember when you had to go to a mall to eat a "Chik-Fil-A" The free-standing Chick-Fil-A in Tucker is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
You've never gone around the block and ended up on the street you started on.
You elect to NOT get leather seats in your car, from fear of your butt and back, melting to them. Atlantans can be wimps about the heat/humidity. You want to know what heat and humidity are all about? Cross the Columbus-Macon-Savannah "Gnat Line," then you'll understand why it seems like I'm always a little chilly in the A-T-L. ;)
You know where 'Butthead' and 'F*ckhead' are, and know it's the same part of town.
You know what a "Cyclorama" is, but have probably only been to it once, if ever, and it was as a child. True for me. Been there once, I think in Junior High.
You haven't been downtown at night in years
To you, "Ronald Reagan" and "Freedom" mean you have to drive as fast as your car can possibly go.
You've woken up at 4:30 am on workdays to beat the traffic to work, intending to leave work before 3 pm to compensate.
You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them ideal
You've gone to "Shoot The Hooch" before.
You know what "Sunshine Slowdown", "Auto-Flambe", and "Topside" mean, and you know what color a "H.E.R.O." is.
You know where PIB, JCB, FIB, MLK, PDK and "The Grady Curve" are, and you try to never go there, for any reason, during any of the nine hours of rush "hour"
You know what "ITP" and "OTP" mean, and depending on which one you are, you loathe the other one. This one is a quandary for me. I'm technically OTP, but I'm not fond of OTPers OR ITPers as a group. We need a new category: NTP (NEAR The Perimeter). We NTPers are the best of both worlds. ;)
You've thought about getting a blow-up doll companion for the front passenger seat. ROFLMBAO!!! I thought I was the only one who considered that...
If you watch a movie or TV show that was filmed in Atlanta, you have no idea what that is going on in the story, because you are too busy looking for places you recognize. I've seen Remember The Titans an untold number of times. I still get distracted watching the scenes at Druid Hills High School, Adams Stadium and the scenes that have kids I know in the background as extras. :p
You would only go to a "Hawks" game if they were playing The Lakers. (OR, if your major donor with courtside seats gives you four tickets to take high school guys to the game....)
You have a surreal sense of pride if your phone number starts with the digits "404" (Yup, there's one reason to hate ITPers! :mad: )
You've actually eaten something called "Okra" at least once.
You've also eaten something called "Grits" before. As a matter of fact, unlike "Okra", you probably love "Grits" WORD!
You know who "Mr. Goober" is.
"Matlock" is one of your heros.
You remember being able to get to any point, from any point, in the Metro Area in "Twenty Minutes"
You wonder who the idiot was who designed the highway system and if they were related to Hitler, or perhaps was even Satan himself.
You curse The Olympics at least once a week. I usually referred to it as "that thing downtown where those faggotty ITPers stood at attention when a foreign National Anthem was being played on Georgian soil." :nad:
The idea of unsweetened, hot, tea repulses you. More spawn of Satan.
You have never felt a more intense pain in your life then walking barefoot on the pavement in August. Again, wimps. Try doing it in South Georgia.
You have no idea what is actually inside "The World Of Coca Cola" Hehe. I don't think I've been there since I lived in metro Atlanta. I went before I did, though.
You've been in traffic on 85, 75, 20 or 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile ahead.
You commonly ask yourself whos idea it was to make buying beer on a Sunday illegal, and why no other city on Earth seems to have this law.
It's 4:30 pm Sunday, you're stone-cold sober and you've just finished the last left-over hot dog when you realize that in exactly 12 hours you have to get up and go to work - again