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cartman
02-17-2006, 10:31 AM
:D

http://www.theregister.ca/2006/02/17/fish_attack/

Nurse attacks colleague with frozen fish
A trout, if you must know
By Lester Haines

A 55-year-old Tunbridge Wells nurse was today hauled before the Nursing and Midwifery Council's professional conduct committee in London for allegedly slapping a colleague with a frozen trout, the BBC reports.

The fish-assisted assault - after which the acccused reportedly said "give us a kiss" while moving the fish's mouth - was one of four charges of professional misconduct levelled at Patricia Jennings. She was also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.

All the incidents took place during 2003 at the Kent and Sussex Hospital in Tunbridge Wells.

Now, we at El Reg normally wouldn't give this story shelf space, since frozen fish nurse attack stories are ten a penny, but the penultimate paragraph of the Beeb's report has a delicious, slightly surreal flavour:

Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.

Mrs Jennings was neither present nor represented at the proceedings. She was, a spokeswoman for the Nursing and Midwifery Council has confirmed by email, struck off the nursing register earlier today. ®
Bootnote

Thanks to Gemma Turtle for the heads-up on this one. The trout, btw, was one of several brought to the hospital as a gift by a thoughtful patient. The Health and Safety Executive would have a fit.

Ksyrup
02-17-2006, 10:33 AM
She was also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.
Can inserting said frozen trout into the rectum of a colleague be far behind?

albionmoonlight
02-17-2006, 10:35 AM
The Health and Safety Executive would have a fit.He'd be even more upset if he knew where that trout had been.

Ksyrup
02-17-2006, 10:41 AM
Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.

Damn, this is a great article. OK, so she lied to people, misled people, and oh yeah, bound someone's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone. Someone had a fun time writing this.

JeeberD
02-17-2006, 10:52 AM
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sauer/angry-smiley-046.gif

Eaglesfan27
02-17-2006, 11:04 AM
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sauer/angry-smiley-046.gif
Brilliant.

Fonzie
02-17-2006, 02:00 PM
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sauer/angry-smiley-046.gif

That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

QuikSand
02-17-2006, 02:21 PM
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sauer/angry-smiley-046.gif

Have you been keeping this from us ?!?!?!?

sterlingice
02-17-2006, 02:23 PM
Clearly, Ms Jennings is a cover name as is the story that she's 55. So who was it really? I'm guessing Farrah :D

SI

sterlingice
02-17-2006, 02:23 PM
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sauer/angry-smiley-046.gifDefinitely another vote for brilliant

SI

Butter
02-17-2006, 02:23 PM
We need to make that a default smiley, and make the symbol :trout: .

rkmsuf
02-17-2006, 02:23 PM
Have you been keeping this from us ?!?!?!?

He's posted that before. Several times.

JeeberD
02-17-2006, 02:24 PM
Have you been keeping this from us ?!?!?!?

Nope, it's just that nobody paid attention the first time I brought it up...

http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=31289

sterlingice
02-17-2006, 02:25 PM
We need to make that a default smiley, and make the symbol :trout: .Great idea! :D ... err, I mean :trout: http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sauer/angry-smiley-046.gif

SI

Eaglesfan27
02-17-2006, 02:27 PM
Nope, it's just that nobody paid attention the first time I brought it up...

http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=31289
To be fair, it fit in so much better with the story, as opposed to out of the blue :)

Toddzilla
02-17-2006, 03:25 PM
So does it work for real?

:trout:

nope

/cry