It's 1 AM - Do You Know Where My Wife Is?

[Shkspr]

Just wondering. I mean, she called me at work at 3:30 to let me know she was going "out with the girls" and would be home by 9 or so, then she was kind enough to call me at 9:30 and let me know she had stopped by the house to feed the dogs and my parents had called. So that's good. Of course, there was the small matter of that guy in the background hollering "Whooo! Take it off, bitch! Take it all off!" But she said that was just Kenny being Kenny, so that's all right, I guess. And then there was the call I got from her about an hour ago letting me know she was still at "the club". Which is fine.

Except it's a little curious to me that caller ID on the phone call specified that it was from "Jack". And when I mentioned the possibility of her being at "the club" after the 9:30 call to one of my staff members, she helpfully pointed out that "the club" in question was closed for renovation currently. So unless there's a heck of a tailgate party in the parking lot, I'm not sure how to reconcile those pieces of data.

So, um, if any of you see my wife (remember, she's kind of like a hot 38DD version of Terrell Owens), let her know that I got home fine and I'll be in bed, okay? Thanks. :)

[Coop]

(remember, she's kind of like a hot 38DD version of Terrell Owens)

Que?

[Lathum]

ummm, wow, i guess.

[Swaggs]

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[kingfc22]

:confused: :confused: :confused:

well said

[Blade6119]

I guess you can rule texas off the list of places i need to search for my dream girl. Anything relating to terrell owens in looks is a deal-breaker for me in a girl.

[Leonidas]

Does your wife hang out with this woman?

http://espn-ak.starwave.com/media/mlb/2006/0228/photo/g_bonds_195.jpg

[spleen1015]

Your wife left my place at 3am. She should be home by now.

[JeffNights]

Shes probably on her back.

[JeffNights]

Shes probably on her back.

Shes probably on her [I]way[I]back i mean......

[Pumpy Tudors]

I saw her on her webcam site last night. Don't you check her webcam?

[Shkspr]

1. Don't post while drunk. :)
2. I wasn't worried so much as bemused at the fact she was out so late.
3. She wandered in at 5:30 this morning.
4. "Jack" is apparently married to "Carrie" whose cell phone my wife used to call me.
5. The club in question had been closed for remodeling, but had their reopening last night.
6. With an all-male revue.
7. Which Kenny enjoyed wholeheartedly, since he apparently sucks a whole mess o' dick.
8. Which I probably could have told you when I met him a while back.
9. As mentioned in the "How tall is your wife" thread a few months back, my sweetie has the prototypical size of an NFL wideout. About 6'2", 220#.
10. Which explains why I don't treat with skepticism her claim that she could kill 50 or so five year olds with her bare hands, as recounted in another famous thread from a few months back.
11. I have to go right now, since if spleen is being truthful in his account, she was apparently dissatisfied with his performance.
12. Which I probably could have told you when I read his posts a while back. :p
13. I'm glad to see Pumpy has moved from still photography to streaming video.

[spleen1015]

11. I have to go right now, since if spleen is being truthful in his account, she was apparently dissatisfied with his performance.

Dude, when I pick up strange, big breasted women, it's all about getting mine. It is not important if they get their's.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Dude, when I pick up women that look like T.O. it's all about getting mine. It is not important if they get their's.

Fixed that for you ;)

[Pumpy Tudors]

13. I'm glad to see Pumpy has moved from still photography to streaming video.
[image removed due to high-bandwidth usage, apparently]

[st.cronin]

I wonder if Shkspr is married to Tanya. That would explain a lot.

[SunDevil]

If anyone ever needs to explain to someone what this forum is all about, I would have to say this thread pretty much covers everything. :) Wait, well except for FOF, but that is another forum section.

[MizzouRah]

If my wife came home at 5:30am, shit would have hit the fan... but that's just me. ;)

[JonInMiddleGA]

She said I'm going out with my girlfriends
maguaritas at the holiday inn
oh mercy...my only thought
was tequila makes her clothes fall off

I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when she drinks patron
her closets missing half the things she bought
tequila makes her clothes fall off

ch....she'll start by kicking out of her shoes
lose an earring in her drink
leave her jacket in the bath room stall
drop a contact down the sink

them pantyhose ain't gonna last too long
if the d j puts bon jovi on
she might come home in a tablecloth
tequila makes her clothes fall off


she can handle any champaigne brunch
bridal shower with bacardi punch
jello shooters full of smirnoff...
but tequila makes her clothes fall off

chorus

she don't mean nothing
she's just having fun
tomorrow she'll say
oh what have I done
her friends will joke about the stuff she lost
cause tequila makes her clothes fall off

[MizzouRah]

.. and tequila will make me beat her ass. :D

[Ksyrup]

Dude, when I pick up strange, big breasted women, it's all about getting mine. It is not important if they get their's.

Spleen: "I love me some me!"

[CU Tiger]

1) Why did she call to say SHE was going out and not asking you to go out?

2) Tell the truth, did you check her panties this morning?...I'm betting you looked for special deposits:D