Queston for Bartenders

[Dr. Sak]

My friends and I were at a bar before the Penguins game last night (Yes Hockey still exists even in Pittsburgh) and we were discussing the quite attractive bartender. Since I am the only single one among the group they were trying to get me to ask her out, but I figured she gets it from a lot of guys and wouldn't even consider it.

From what I remember I think St. Cronin met his girlfriend this way? Is there anyone else out there that has had a similar experience good or bad, I'd just like to hear it.

I realize I'm opening myself to a whole bunch of jokes but I figure that's part of the fun, so fire away guys...and gals.

[ctmason]

For what its worth I worked in the hospitality industry as a server, bartender and you-name-it for the better part of ten years and I NEVER saw a waitress or bartender that got hit on actually start dating a customer. The converse is true too, I never saw a male server or bartender that hit on a female customer start dating the customer.

And by "dating" I think you know what I'm including in that, too.

[st.cronin]

Yes, although I was the bartender, so the equation was a bit different.

I'm sure she gets it from a lot of guys. That doesn't mean she won't consider it. You just need to make sure you have your A game.

Also, a serious pass can be awkward for her, whether she's interested or not. She may reject you without really rejecting you (ie lead you on a bit), or she may not realize you're serious. There are a lot of things that can go wrong, more so than in a typical pass. I don't have any specific advice.

[Lathum]

Ok, I can tell you that the likelyhood of her saying yes is about .00001%. Good looking girl bartenders get hit on about 50 times a night and most completely seperate work from social life.

The exceptions I have seen is if the guy is a regular and the bartender has gotten to know him then he may have a shot.

I was a bartender for 11 years on the Jersey shore. I used to get a kick out of the guys who would hit on the bartenders, most of the time the bartender would flirt back to get a bigger tip. The lesson is this guys, if a hot bartender is hitting on you then you are probably being used to get more money.

[Lathum]

dola-
Ironicaly enough I mety my fiance while I was bartending but it was only after we got to know each other through her and her roomate coming in. We then went out in a group and it proceeded from there but what Cronin says is true. She was actualy the only girl I ever met while I was bartending that I went out with.

[st.cronin]

For what its worth I worked in the hospitality industry as a server, bartender and you-name-it for the better part of ten years and I NEVER saw a waitress or bartender that got hit on actually start dating a customer.

Ok, I can tell you that the likelyhood of her saying yes is about .00001%.

I think these are overly pessimistic. What Lathum and mason are not factoring in is that the overwhelming majority of passes made at female bartenders are by guys that are either drunk, or have already established themselves as not-a-gentleman. Also, there is a fairly decent chance (maybe 1 in 15) that she is a raging slut.

If you are polite, sober, and look like you have a job, your chances are pretty decent. Like I said, though, you really need to have your best fastball on that day.

[Coffee Warlord]

Pix plz.

[st.cronin]

One more thing: How old is she? If she's 18-25, EJECT EJECT EJECT. If she's 25-30 or thereabouts, proceed with due caution.

[Klinglerware]

One more thing: How old is she? If she's 18-25, EJECT EJECT EJECT.

Why? Can't the same be said of a lot of women in that age group?

[st.cronin]

Why? Can't the same be said of a lot of women in that age group?

Well, its like this:

Any 18-25 year old girl that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Any bartender that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Putting those fields together, you would think that an 18-25 year old bartender that will say yes has about a 75% of being completely psycho. Actually, however, the true percentage is closer to 100 than 75.

This is all very scientific, you understand.

When you factor in the degree of difficulty discussed above, what you're talking about is the dating equivalent of signing Ahman Green to a 23 million dollar contract. Even if the best case scenario comes true, what do you get?

[Fighter of Foo]

Well, its like this:

Any 18-25 year old girl that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Any bartender that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Putting those fields together, you would think that an 18-25 year old bartender that will say yes has about a 75% of being completely psycho. Actually, however, the true percentage is closer to 100 than 75.

This is all very scientific, you understand.

When you factor in the degree of difficulty discussed above, what you're talking about is the dating equivalent of signing Ahman Green to a 23 million dollar contract. Even if the best case scenario comes true, what do you get?

Wow. That's really well done.

[BrianD]

I don't have too much in the way of success stories in this area, but I would suggest a few things.

- Don't do it randomly. Have at least some reasonable length of discussion first so you aren't just a random guy hitting on her.

- Purchase a few drinks or rounds from the bartender first. Let her know you are a decent tipper and she won't have to worry about flirting to increase tips.

- Pay attention to how she reacts around other customers. That way you will know if any of her attention is for you specifically, or just what she does with everyone else.

- Bartenders don't date random customers, but they do date people they know. Let her get to know you a bit.

[Lathum]

I think these are overly pessimistic.

sorry my friend but you are totaly wrong. I worked for 11 years in high volume bars with very hot girls ( and some not so hot) and I can count on one hand the number of times a girl went out with a guy from the bar, and I NEVER remember her going out with a guy she hadn't at least gotten to know a bit.

[Klinglerware]

Well, its like this:

Any 18-25 year old girl that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Any bartender that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Putting those fields together, you would think that an 18-25 year old bartender that will say yes has about a 75% of being completely psycho. Actually, however, the true percentage is closer to 100 than 75.

This is all very scientific, you understand.

When you factor in the degree of difficulty discussed above, what you're talking about is the dating equivalent of signing Ahman Green to a 23 million dollar contract. Even if the best case scenario comes true, what do you get?


Okay, I'm convinced...

[st.cronin]

I can count on one hand the number of times a girl went out with a guy from the bar...

that you know about. Girls do keep secrets, you know. :D

[Dr. Sak]

I am horrible with telling age but I would guess that she is around mine. I'd say the 23-28 year old frame.

[Surtt]

I am horrible with telling age but I would guess that she is around mine. I'd say the 23-28 year old frame.

If all you are looking at is the frame.....

[ctmason]

sorry my friend but you are totaly wrong. I worked for 11 years in high volume bars with very hot girls ( and some not so hot) and I can count on one hand the number of times a girl went out with a guy from the bar, and I NEVER remember her going out with a guy she hadn't at least gotten to know a bit.

I would add however that at my places of employment apparently every woman slept with every other employee of the place (except me of course). So there is a way...

[Maple Leafs]

If you are polite, sober, and look like you have a job, your chances are pretty decent.
Ouch. Oh-for-three. Better luck next time, sak.

[Lathum]

I would add however that at my places of employment apparently every woman slept with every other employee of the place (except me of course). So there is a way...

now that is a different story...

[Vince]

I've hurt many a girl's feelings because I flirted back but was completely disinterested in anything more than a good tip. And I also know many female bartenders who will completely separate work from social life, and will simply on principle not date/become involved with customers.

That isn't to say don't try...what's the worst that could happen?

[Desnudo]

Well, its like this:

Any 18-25 year old girl that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Any bartender that will say yes has maybe a 50% chance of being completely psycho.

Putting those fields together, you would think that an 18-25 year old bartender that will say yes has about a 75% of being completely psycho. Actually, however, the true percentage is closer to 100 than 75.

This is all very scientific, you understand.

When you factor in the degree of difficulty discussed above, what you're talking about is the dating equivalent of signing Ahman Green to a 23 million dollar contract. Even if the best case scenario comes true, what do you get?

I would ask the question: why even bother? There are plenty of hot non-bartenders out there. I view it as the same as asking a stripper out (not equating the jobs). They are on the job and trying to make money. That doesn't typically put people in the mood to think about dating.

Edit: enjoy the fantasy, it's probably better than the reality

[st.cronin]

I would add however that at my places of employment apparently every woman slept with every other employee of the place (except me of course). So there is a way...

Good point. If you're serious about scoring with this girl, get a job there.

[Drake]

I only knew one guy who successfully picked up a stripper at work and then dated her for any period of time (and that time being less than 3 months).

It was, I can assure you, an unmitigated disaster. She was a serious nutjob.

[MrBug708]

I wish anyone good luck who wants to hit on someone when that person works in the restaurant industry. If you want a good shot at dating that bartender Brian, just go work in the bar. Your odds increase tremendously :)

[timmyw3]

I'll second the notion that your chances increase immensely if you worked at the bar. Hell, I was a bartender and I hooked up with one of the hostesses many years back. She's currently my wife.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

You're forgetting the tried and true method: be polite and charming, and make sure you spend LOTS of MONEY at the bar buying drinks for people and letting her see that you are not only nice but have LOTS OF MONEY spilling out of your wallet. A dinner invitation is much more likely to get accepted. Now when I say lots of money, I mean lots of money - preferably several hundred dollar bills flying out of your wallet every hour or so.

Now you must realize two things. 1) If you are not rich and can't spend like that, then you are out of luck. 2) You end up with a girl that only cares about money. Number 2 is not all that bad for a short period of time.

Please note that this strategy works in every social situation.

[cuervo72]

Eh, save the money and find another hot chick to get turned down by. ;)

[amdaily]

I think someone posted a dynasty of sorts in the drunk guy thread about his attempts to ask out an attractive bartender during the early parts of last year.