Bachelor Party Etiquette

[lordscarlet]

What's the rule on inviting guys that are no invited to the wedding?

[Maple Leafs]

How big is the wedding?

[lordscarlet]

How big is the wedding?

100ish.

[RendeR]

I'd say no. If I'm the groom I don't want to deal with the "Why didn't I get invited" bullshit. The party is for the groom to relax and let loose, do not stress out the groom ;)

[albionmoonlight]

Can you ask the groom?

[wade moore]

I'd say no. If I'm the groom I don't want to deal with the "Why didn't I get invited" bullshit. The party is for the groom to relax and let loose, do not stress out the groom ;)

fwiw, he is the groom in this case - and I'm the best man.

[lordscarlet]

I'd say no. If I'm the groom I don't want to deal with the "Why didn't I get invited" bullshit. The party is for the groom to relax and let loose, do not stress out the groom ;)

I am the groom. :) Wade is the Best Man.

Edit: Beat me to it. Damn.

[molson]

It depends on how many of the 100 are family. If it's mostly all family, and only a couple of close friends (like 3-4 each for the bride and groom), then you can bring some extra friends to the bachelor party and everyone should understand. If there's 10-15+ friends each for the bride and groom, why do you need anyone else for the bachelor party? That would just be weird.

[RendeR]

well then you both have my answer, DON'T Stress the GROOM ;)

Entertain him, have strippers fondle him, get him trashed , make him puke, but don't stress the groom ;)

[rkmsuf]

where you are going there are no rules

[Subby]

Yeah you should absolutely invite non-wedding peeps to the bachelor party. Nice way to include folks in the celebration, particularly if you have a limited guest list.

[Maple Leafs]

I'd say no. If I'm the groom I don't want to deal with the "Why didn't I get invited" bullshit. The party is for the groom to relax and let loose, do not stress out the groom
I don't know, any guy who would actually whine about not being invited to a wedding is probably not the sort of guy you'd want to invite to a bachelor party in the first place.

[lordscarlet]

Basically there are people I really want to invite to the wedding, but they just won't fit the budget. I am inviting 18 friends (12 single or couples). 3 of those are co-workers, 2 of those are male co-workers. But there are two other male co-workers that just barely didn't make the cut. They will clearly know about the party and the wedding and know that they didn't make the cut, regardless.

The official "invite" (expecting some "no"s of course) number is 113, of those 52 are my invites, and 34 are family. (there may be some fuzzy math here or there, but those are the basics)

[Pumpy Tudors]

where you are going there are no rules
They're doing the bachelor party at Outback?

[panerd]

I have been to a couple of bachelor parties where I wasn't going to the wedding. (friend from work, buddys brothers, even old friends that I kind of lost touch with) I was there to party and believe me neither me or the groom cared at all. Definitely invite people that are going to make it a good time.

[Fonzie]

Make sure that the non-wedding folks are responsible for bringing the donkey.

That way the groom can later say to his furious bride, "Hey, I didn't invite the guys who brought the donkey."

[Bee]

Yeah you should absolutely invite non-wedding peeps to the bachelor party. Nice way to include folks in the celebration, particularly if you have a limited guest list.


And what time should Subby and I show up?

[rkmsuf]

They're doing the bachelor party at Outback?

wild, isn't it?

[wade moore]

Definitely invite people that are going to make it a good time.

Why exactly am I invited again?

[albionmoonlight]

They might be happy to get to party without having to buy you a wedding present.

[st.cronin]

Don't invite Pacman Jones.

[molson]

I don't know, any guy who would actually whine about not being invited to a wedding is probably not the sort of guy you'd want to invite to a bachelor party in the first place.

Or be friends with, for that matter.

[Subby]

Just make sure there is a dildo mask. You cannot have a proper bachelor party without one. Just ask Fritz.

[lordscarlet]

Why exactly am I invited again?

Designated Driver

[Maple Leafs]

I have been to a couple of bachelor parties where I wasn't going to the wedding. (friend from work, buddys brothers, even old friends that I kind of lost touch with) I was there to party and believe me neither me or the groom cared at all.
Actually, I'd love to get invited to more bachelor parties where I didn't have to go to a wedding. Best of both worlds.

[Eaglesfan27]

I invited friends to the bachelor party who didn't get invited to the wedding. Do whatever will make you happy.

[digamma]

Definitely not the same rigidity in that rule as with other engagement party type events. I subscribe to the big tent bachelor party theory.

[MizzouRah]

I can't even remember my bachelor party or who was invited. :)

[lungs]

I was more than thrilled to be invited to a bachelor party in which a wedding invitation was not given. Actually I did get a call a week before the wedding to see if I planned to attend and I told the groom to not worry, I'll just be there for the drinking afterwards.

If these were women, it'd be a big issue. But I think a lot of men such as myself would rather not have to sit through the ceremony and such unless they are in the actual wedding party.

Hell, if I ever get married, I'm still trying to figure out a way to not be at the ceremony.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Hell, if I ever get married, I'm still trying to figure out a way to not be at the ceremony.
I can tell you from experience that it is possible. :cool:

[Leonidas]

In all honesty, are guys who are invited to the bachelor party but not invited to the wedding going to make a fuss? There were three people who were allowed to attend my wedding ceremony. There were four who did my bachelor romp through the titty bars of Oahu, none of them at the wedding, none who cared. It's not like this was a wedding shower.

[wade moore]

In all honesty, are guys who are invited to the bachelor party but not invited to the wedding going to make a fuss? There were three people who were allowed to attend my wedding ceremony. There were four who did my bachelor romp through the titty bars of Oahu, none of them at the wedding, none who cared. It's not like this was a wedding shower.

Quoting Leonidas cause he is the last one to say the running theme...

This was my general thought, and ls's as well... We just don't know how this stupid etiquette crap works...

I guess the consensus is - we're dudes, screw etiquette ;).

[Warhammer]

Quoting Leonidas cause he is the last one to say the running theme...

This was my general thought, and ls's as well... We just don't know how this stupid etiquette crap works...

I guess the consensus is - we're dudes, screw etiquette ;).

No no no, you got it wrong. To hell with the etiquette, the groom screws the bride...

[cthomer5000]

They might be happy to get to party without having to buy you a wedding present.


Pretty much my take on it. I can't imageine a guy complaining about being at the bachelor party but NOT the wedding itself.

[lordscarlet]

Quoting Leonidas cause he is the last one to say the running theme...

This was my general thought, and ls's as well... We just don't know how this stupid etiquette crap works...

I guess the consensus is - we're dudes, screw etiquette ;).

So I suppose the original list I gave you works. :)

[terpkristin]

FWIW, when I was maid of honor at my best friend's wedding I didn't invite anybody who wasn't invited to the wedding.

Of course, of those who I did invite, wish I could've left one off. ;) :p Then again, my best friend is a lot like me with more male friends than female so there weren't too many I was considering in general...

/tk

[cthomer5000]

woman woman woman woman woman

does not compute in this thread

[Karlifornia]

I'd say invite your wife-to-be to the bachelor party. She can just be there to make sure things don't get too crazy.

[stevew]

Who the fuck is going to be pissed that they only get to go to the party with naked nappy headed hos and alcohol, and don't get to sit through a boring hour long ceremony and buffet style dinner(which will invariably suck)? And don't have to buy a wedding present.

Not Me.

[Desnudo]

What's the rule on inviting guys that are no invited to the wedding?

Go for it. Everyone knows that the bride runs the wedding invitation process anyway.

[lynchjm24]

My bachelor party is in June in Montreal. There are two guys going who I don't even know.

[CleBrownsfan]

My fiancee and I are having a bachelor/bachelor this Saturday. I'm not one for strippers and we both share most of our friends. So we're hosting a poker game and then we rented a 16 per to go out on the town. Should be a good time - if I remember the night! ;)

So to answer your question - we are inviting a couple friends that are not invited to the wedding 'cause we are only inviting family/close friends. BUT we are having another party in June with all of our friends.

[Mustang]

Single guys will come and not mind if they are invited to the wedding because it is a bachelor party and titties will be involved.

Married/Divorced guys will come and not mind if they are invited to the wedding because they understand that they had no input to who was invited to the wedding anyways...

and titties will be involved...

[johnnyshaka]

I had a bunch of guys at my bachelor party who weren't invited to the wedding and it didn't bother them in the least.

[Mateo]

It has been my experience that all guys hate to go to weddings. So I say invite everyone, because they'll certainly enjoy themselves more with some pink shoved in their face than have to wear dark socks and eat chicken and rice with a bunch of people they really could care less about (other than the groom and bride, of couse.)

[rkmsuf]

So not only are these people not invited to the wedding but you are considering denying them some hey nanner nanner?


You dick!

[heybrad]

A bachelor party is a way to celebrate your manhood. This thread with etiquette questions is not a good start.

[heybrad]

All in seriousness...

You may want to call Build A Bear in advance to see how big of a party they can handle.

[rkmsuf]

All in seriousness...

You may want to call Build A Bear in advance to see how big of a party they can handle.

I'm making my bear with big titays!

[Mateo]

To build off what Brad said: What exactly are you sending invites out for? Bachelor parties don't require "invites," just a faint call of the Viking horn blown from the top of the highest peak in the land.

[Mateo]

I'm making my bear with big titays!

I'm making a bondage bear.

http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/chatter/newsletter/bondage.jpg

[wade moore]

To build off what Brad said: What exactly are you sending invites out for? Bachelor parties don't require "invites," just a faint call of the Viking horn blown from the top of the highest peak in the land.

We're talking about going somewhere and renting a party pad for the weekend - so we need to know who's willing to put in the money it would require, etc.

[Mateo]

I was talking with Brad, and when he was my best man, we had made the decision to go to Vegas. It was decided that since everyone was basically paying to go out there, that we should pay for the room. So, Brad got the hookup on a suite, and I wrote the check. Good thing we got the suite, because it became the crash site for everyone. At least 15 guys all in the room, with others staying elsewhere.

We all have friends who are, shall we say, frugal. So, asking them to pay out is always a pain. But the groom shouldn't have to pay for anything. I know I hardly did. So it was Brad's job to shake everyone down and ask them to cough up some dough. Sure there were some stragglers who wanted to play the nickle slots, but that didn't stop the rest of us from being "the guys behind the guy behind the guy."

If you want to have a good time, expect to front the cash.

[rkmsuf]

George Takei's life partner's name is Brad.

[wade moore]

I was talking with Brad, and when he was my best man, we had made the decision to go to Vegas. It was decided that since everyone was basically paying to go out there, that we should pay for the room. So, Brad got the hookup on a suite, and I wrote the check. Good thing we got the suite, because it became the crash site for everyone. At least 15 guys all in the room, with others staying elsewhere.

We all have friends who are, shall we say, frugal. So, asking them to pay out is always a pain. But the groom shouldn't have to pay for anything. I know I hardly did. So it was Brad's job to shake everyone down and ask them to cough up some dough. Sure there were some stragglers who wanted to play the nickle slots, but that didn't stop the rest of us from being "the guys behind the guy behind the guy."

If you want to have a good time, expect to front the cash.

That's all fine and dandy if you can afford that, I can't.

[heybrad]

Just to clarify, I should add that Mateo is a pimp, so we made it my responiblity to work with my connections to bring the cost down and he'd cover what he could. I managed to get a 2 room Jacuzzi suite at the Luxor for a total of about $200 for the entire weekend.

Matt has that kind of change lying around in his couch.

[heybrad]

George Takei's life partner's name is Brad.
OH MYYYYYYYYY!!!!

[rkmsuf]

heysulu

[Mateo]

That's all fine and dandy if you can afford that, I can't.

There's another misconception about bachelor parties. It's not all about getting fucked up, drinking and smoking and seeing boobies. It's a way for your boys to get together and do something you like together, without any of the women butting in.

Because you won't have that freedom once the ring's on the finger and the checks share both names.

Just to clarify, I should add that Mateo is a pimp, so we made it my responiblity to work with my connections to bring the cost down and he'd cover what he could. I managed to get a 2 room Jacuzzi suite at the Luxor for a total of about $200 for the entire weekend.

Matt has that kind of change lying around in his couch.

What he said is true.

It really has more to do with who's going than what you do. For example, for Brad's bachelor party, we opted to go to an L.A. Kings game at the old Forum, when 99 was still there. For another bachelor party, we camped out at the beach, got shitfaced and played a makeshift game of Frisbee Golf. Yet another time, we went to this high-falluting restaurant and all ordered $100 plates of lobster and steak, then went driving around downtown in a limo.

We had a blast, and was 1) all of us were there and 2) we all did something cool. That's the key. You wanna go get a pad, get drunk and party, do it. But you can do that in a tent or in a cabin. Find the thing that you think you and your friends would enjoy to do. Even if it winds up sucking, you still have the experience to laugh about later.

Then, kiss your freedoms away once you walk down that aisle... sucker.

[Celeval]

My bachelor party was my best man (my brother) and my cousin treating me to a weekend in Vegas. Just the three of us, which was cool.

The last wedding I was a part of had more of a stag party - there were easily over a hundred guys there, rented a hall, raffled off a ton of alcohol and various and sundry other items, proceeds went towards the honeymoon and the (multiple) entertainment options. There may have been more guys at the stag night than total combined actually at the wedding itself.