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View Full Version : Yet Another School Failing to Teach Common Sense


Ksyrup
06-20-2007, 06:53 AM
School penalizes students for hugs, high-fives
Strict no-contact rule, meant to stem violence, has some pushing for change

Associated Press
VIENNA, Va. - A rule against physical contact at a Fairfax County middle school is so strict that students can be sent to the principal's office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.

Unlike some schools in the Washington area, which ban fighting or inappropriate touching, Kilmer Middle School in Vienna bans all touching and that has some parents lobbying for a change.

Hugging was Hal Beaulieu's crime when he sat next to his girlfriend at lunch a few months ago and put his arm around her shoulder. He was given a warning, but told that repeat missteps could lead to detention.

"I think hugging is a good thing," said Hal, a seventh-grader. "I put my arm around her. It was like for 15 seconds. I didn't think it would be a big deal."

But at a school of 1,100 students that was meant to accommodate 850, school officials think some touching can turn into a big deal. They've seen pokes lead to fights, gang signs in the form of handshakes or girls who are uncomfortable being hugged but embarrassed to say anything.

"You get into shades of gray," Kilmer Principal Deborah Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' "

Hernandez said the no-touching rule is meant to ensure that all students are comfortable and crowded hallways and lunchrooms stay safe. She said school officials are allowed to use their judgment in enforcing the rule. Typically, only repeat offenders are reprimanded.

'Making out goes too far'
But such a strict policy doesn't seem necessary to 13-year-old Hal and his parents, who have written a letter to the county school board asking for a review of the rule. Hugging is encouraged in their home, and their son has been taught to greet someone with a handshake.

Hal said he feels he knows what's appropriate and what's not.

"I think you should be able to shake hands, high-five and maybe a quick hug," he said. "Making out goes too far."

His parents said they agree that teenagers need to have clear limits but don't want their son to be taught that physical contact is bad.

"How do kids learn what's right and what's wrong?" Henri Beaulieu asked. "They are all smart kids, and they can draw lines. If they cross them, they can get in trouble. But I don't think it would happen too often."<!--QuoteEnd-->

Butter
06-20-2007, 07:33 AM
"If he can high five, then I can do this."

If by this, she means gun down the cafeteria, then I can completely see where she's coming from.

rowech
06-20-2007, 08:25 AM
This is way off the deep end. The biggest problem our school has is boys playing bumper cars in the hallways. They really kind of just run into each other. The problem to me isn't when two idiots want to do this. It's more of a problem when they knock others over. High-fives, hugs, etc....just stupid to try and ban them.

miami_fan
06-20-2007, 08:35 AM
Good enforcement of a stupid rule. No touching means no touching.

Huckleberry
06-20-2007, 08:49 AM
Good enforcement of a stupid rule. No touching means no touching.

I think the stupidity of the rule is the point of the post.

Physical contact is extremely important in emotional development, even for preteens. Even handshakes and high fives. It's a terrible rule enacted by lazy administrators.

rowech
06-20-2007, 08:52 AM
I think the stupidity of the rule is the point of the post.

Physical contact is extremely important in emotional development, even for preteens. Even handshakes and high fives. It's a terrible rule enacted by lazy administrators.

I wouldn't say lazy but most likely ineffective. They couldn't get a problem fixed with actual contact that shouldn't happen. So to remedy their ineffectiveness, they get rid of all contact.

Butter
06-20-2007, 08:55 AM
It's the administrative equivalent of a frustrated parent telling two arguing children "Alright, nobody talk, look at, or touch anybody else EVER AGAIN!!!!"

Except in their case, they now have to enforce the rule they brought upon themselves with their ridiculousness, as opposed to a real-life situation, when the two arguing children would be back to talking, looking, and touching within 5 minutes.

finketr
06-20-2007, 08:58 AM
"How do kids learn what's right and what's wrong?" Henri Beaulieu asked. "They are all smart kids, and they can draw lines. If they cross them, they can get in trouble. But I don't think it would happen too often."<!--QuoteEnd-->

And what better place than school to learn you have to follow rules...even if they are stupid.

TroyF
06-20-2007, 09:04 AM
Gym class has to be a thrill in that school.

If you miss the flag and make any contact with skin, you are sent to detention. Basketball? You have to be at least 4 feet away from the player you are guarding.

Idiocy rules the day.

miami_fan
06-20-2007, 09:23 AM
I would love to go back and listen to the debate that went on around the time this rule was enacted.

JonInMiddleGA
06-20-2007, 09:26 AM
From reading the article, this seems like a weak example for those who want to rail against any of the various zero-tolerance rules or comprehensive wording of rules or what have you.

Rules against "public displays of affection" or other wording have been around since I was in school, including prohibitions against hand-holding, hugging, etc.

The high-five thing is a new twist in my experience, but at some point in a litigious society I can see where it does make sense to go to a broad inclusive phrasing instead of trying to come up with every single possible example of inappropriate physical contact, then define them individually, and then deal with the hairs that'll be split.

Huckleberry
06-20-2007, 09:35 AM
From reading the article, this seems like a weak example for those who want to rail against any of the various zero-tolerance rules or comprehensive wording of rules or what have you.

Rules against "public displays of affection" or other wording have been around since I was in school, including prohibitions against hand-holding, hugging, etc.

The high-five thing is a new twist in my experience, but at some point in a litigious society I can see where it does make sense to go to a broad inclusive phrasing instead of trying to come up with every single possible example of inappropriate physical contact, then define them individually, and then deal with the hairs that'll be split.

You don't think they already have exceptions?

Does that school have a football team? If so I bet they practice on school grounds. Same with basketball.

The WaPost is quoted as saying "Students won’t get busted if they high-five in class after answering a difficult math problem." So there are already exceptions. They are already splitting hairs.

JonInMiddleGA
06-20-2007, 09:47 AM
... there are already exceptions. They are already splitting hairs.

And so where the hell is the problem here?