How do you guys do it? (Relationships...)

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Just wondering how you guys in relationships do it. I can't find the time for hardly meeting, let alone dating. Then if you do get into something, how do you have any time to do things you like? Furthermore, how do you trust that you won't be going along, enjoying life when she up and leaves you, taking the kids and forcing you to live with your mother due to support for kids she mainly uses to toy with you...

Yeah, I have issues... but I can't help but wonder how people actually handle relationships.

[k0ruptr]

I go to work every day, come home , drink beer and read FOFC.

probably not the answer you wanted. but it works. lol

oh and if she leaves, then I will probably go to work every day, come home, drink beer, masturbate, then read fofc.

[21C]

oh and if she leaves, then I will probably go to work every day, come home, drink beer, masturbate, then read fofc.
For a second there, I thought you had written masturbate last...

[k0ruptr]

I made sure not to.

:D

[Flasch186]

pattern setting and low expectations....not that you have them but try to get them to have them....then youre golden.

[st.cronin]

Its a mystery to those of us doing it, too.

[Easy Mac]

I just put her on my ignore list when I get home.

[Rizon]

I just put her on my ignore list when I get home.

QFT

[JonInMiddleGA]

Then if you do get into something, how do you have any time to do things you like?

If I recall correctly, being with her is supposed to qualify as "doing something you like". If it doesn't, then you're probably just wasting time better spent doing something (or somebody) else.

[DeToxRox]

I go to work every day, come home , drink beer and read FOFC.

probably not the answer you wanted. but it works. lol

oh and if she leaves, then I will probably go to work every day, come home, drink beer, masturbate, then read fofc.

http://www.religionfacts.com/celebrities/images/angelina-jolie-hackers-200h.jpg

K0ruptr and the missus.

[RendeR]

http://www.religionfacts.com/celebrities/images/angelina-jolie-hackers-200h.jpg

K0ruptr and the missus.

If that were the truth then he'd be the luckiest MF on the planet. Angelina was reportedly one seriously horny and hot teenager.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

If that were the truth then he'd be the luckiest MF on the planet. Angelina was reportedly one seriously horny and hot teenager.

Remember what Billy Bob said about comparing her to a couch.

[RendeR]

Billy bob had her in her late 20's, she was already bored with most men.

[EagleFan]

To be honest I have no idea what I would do now if I wasn't already married for several years as work takes up most of my time. Starting something now would be tough.

As far as the what if she up and leaves part. I guess my life would change a lot financially but I really don't see things turning upside down for me personally as I would pretty much move on (not to sound callous, just being honest). The toughest adjustment would be the time with/without the kids.

[Izulde]

I've pretty much lost all ability to trust women relationships-wise, so I couldn't tell you.

[Passacaglia]

We use a large vibrating egg.

[bosshogg23]

If I recall correctly, being with her is supposed to qualify as "doing something you like". If it doesn't, then you're probably just wasting time better spent doing something (or somebody) else.

That is about as clear as it can be.

My grandmother always suggested taking a couple day driving road trip. If you didn't totally friggin' hate each other at the end, you had a chance.

[KWhit]

oh and if she leaves, then I will probably go to work every day, come home, drink beer, masturbate, then read fofc.


No, that's what happens when you get married.

[Suburban Rhythm]

oh and if she leaves, then I will probably go to work every day, come home, drink beer, masturbate, then read fofc.

Sure hoping you aren't multi-tasking. I mean, I go to work AND read fofc. And I come home AND read fofc. And I sometimes drink beer AND fofc. But I draw the line there.

As for the real question...I am agreeing with Eaglefan. I watch/listen to single people at work, and it seems too difficult now. Even the idea of having to do that now is tiring, so I agree with everything you said GO BLUE! But I guess that doesn't really answer anything for you :confused:

[DaddyTorgo]

wow. I just had a nice long post typed up, and then somehow the page refreshed and it was gone.

The gist of it was. Single. And likely will be forever. Too afraid of being hurt. In a broader sense I've had feelings for a couple girls, but I've really only had serious feelings for one. And that didn't work out. And then we remained close-close friends. And I kept carrying that torch and hoping that maybe things would turn around. And they never did. And I finally sat down with her and was like "look...can I ever be anything more to you than I am right now?" and she said "no...not really. That's how I see you. But that's a good thing." And yeah...we havn't really spoken since that day.

But that whole...attempted relationship fucked me up real bad. That's what drove me to the alcoholism-point where I'd down a bottle of Grey Goose a night. I hurt so bad over that for so long (5...6 years?) that I myself am afraid to care about anyone that much anymore, because I don't think I could take it if it happened again, let alone if I actually got into a relationship with someone and started to care for them MORE than I cared for this girl and got hurt by them.

[Izulde]

For me it's not so much as being afraid of getting hurt again as it is that I'd killed the ability in me to feel that sort of emotion.

...Until very recently as in the last month. Naturally, I believe any chance I may have had to be gone (not that there was too much of one to begin with) and so I've been something in a daze the past couple days with this realization.

...I'd forgotten how much it stings.

[DaddyTorgo]

For me it's not so much as being afraid of getting hurt again as it is that I'd killed the ability in me to feel that sort of emotion.

...Until very recently as in the last month. Naturally, I believe any chance I may have had to be gone (not that there was too much of one to begin with) and so I've been something in a daze the past couple days with this realization.

...I'd forgotten how much it stings.

oh certainly...i've done that too. Kinda "shut that whole part of me" off, walled it away. Won't allow myself to feel that way about anyone so that I won't get hurt.

[k0ruptr]

I feel honored that I'm banging Angelina... hmm nevermind, I guess I feel honored that I am going to work, coming home, drinking beer and reading fofc while I bore Angelina? lol.

[ThunderingHERD]

How I do it: she is madly in love with me and I pretend to feel the same way about her.

[bosshogg23]

How I do it: she is madly in love with me and I pretend to feel the same way about her.

Turn the mirror.

[Cringer]

I get on a truck and don't go home but for 1-2 days a week, at the most. I have currently been gone for 2 weeks. SHe can yell all she was, I can't hear her sitting in Illinois.

[Karlifornia]

I give her chlamydia and then let her sort out the rest...

[Icy]

Well i started to date my wife when we were 14, and we are 32 now so i have been with her more than half of my life. My wife is both my lover and my best friend and i can't say I regret about it for any single minute.

Of course you need to renounce to part of your freedom, but you get a lot in exchange (of course if things go well between you both).

Sometimes, like all us, i would like to dedicate more time to my work or my hobbies (games or watching sports) but i know there must be a limit, else there is no point on having a relationship.

For example, I can start to play a text sim, and you all know how addictive they can become, the hours pass like minutes and when your wife tells you that is dinner and TV time, sometimes i wish i was single to expend 10 straigh hours more playing that game. But as soon as i turn it off and start to enjoy the family life with my wife, that feeling is gone.

I must admit I'm lucky for having a self sufficient wife, she doesn't need me with her all the time, each one of us enjoy his daily hours of freedom, that i use to play games and she surfs the net or watches TV. Also she has a good group of friends too and they come home for a coffee or she goes out with them to the shopping center etc so i have enough time for my own hobbies and we both have different things to tell each other in our family time as we have not expended the whole day together.

I think that the big problems come for two reasons:

1- When one of the half of the couple is too dependent and demands the other half to be with him/her the whole day. Some people needs somebody all the time close to him/her or they get bored, not giving the necessary freedom to the other half.

2- When one of the half of the couple wants to expend the whole day on his own stuff and to expend time with the other half is more of a disturb than a reason for happiness.

In both cases it would be better to be single.

[MrBug708]

Well i started to date my wife when we were 14, and we are 32 now so i have been with her more than half of my life. My wife is both my lover and my best friend and i can't say I regret about it for any single minute.

Of course you need to renounce to part of your freedom, but you get a lot in exchange (of course if things go well between you both).

Sometimes, like all us, i would like to dedicate more time to my work or my hobbies (games or watching sports) but i know there must be a limit, else there is no point on having a relationship.

For example, I can start to play a text sim, and you all know how addictive they can become, the hours pass like minutes and when your wife tells you that is dinner and TV time, sometimes i wish i was single to expend 10 straigh hours more playing that game. But as soon as i turn it off and start to enjoy the family life with my wife, that feeling is gone.

I must admit I'm lucky for having a self sufficient wife, she doesn't need me with her all the time, each one of us enjoy his daily hours of freedom, that i use to play games and she surfs the net or watches TV. Also she has a good group of friends too and they come home for a coffee or she goes out with them to the shopping center etc so i have enough time for my own hobbies and we both have different things to tell each other in our family time as we have not expended the whole day together.

I think that the big problems come for two reasons:

1- When one of the half of the couple is too dependent and demands the other half to be with him/her the whole day. Some people needs somebody all the time close to him/her or they get bored, not giving the necessary freedom to the other half.

2- When one of the half of the couple wants to expend the whole day on his own stuff and to expend time with the other half is more of a disturb than a reason for happiness.

In both cases it would be better to be single.

But Icy, your wife is hot :)

[Icy]

But Icy, your wife is hot :)

ROFL, good resume of all that I wrote :D

[Eaglesfan27]

Well said, Icy. Most of that is true for me as well. I'm glad my wife is independent and doesn't need me to keep her entertained all of the time, but it is important to balance alone time and together time. As far as the trust issues that the original poster brought up - it's all about finding the right woman who you can trust.

[sterlingice]

I'd also like to echo that was nicely said, Icy. I think points 1 and 2 at the bottom are really key- you both have to have similar levels of independence. Some couples want to be with their significant other all hours of the day, some only a couple of hours, and most of us are somewhere inbetween. Big problems of that ilk come up when there's a really "needy" one (I wish there was a non-pejorative term for that because there are couples where both are that way and it works for them) and a fiercely independent one together.

SI

[Sgran]

My wife would leave me if it weren't for the kids. Almost all of our friends have been divorced at least once. It's a case where she wants more of everything and I want free time to read about why sci-fi films are technically inaccurate. When we do spend time together she talks the entire time. Don't get me wrong: she's a great wife, a real catch who takes care of most of the mundane parts of our lives. I just like time to myself, whereas she wants a beautiful apartment and someone to listen to all her woes.

[Warhammer]

I don't know how to go and find a woman once you get past 25. I think a big problem is that people expect too much out of a relationship. The fact is that there are different stages of love, and your relationship changes as you go through each stage.

For all those looking for women, my advice is just lay it all out there early on. Don't be someone you're not. Some may get up and walk out on the date immediately, or finish the date but not want to see you. Others will embrace your idiosyncracies and will hopefully open up to you.

The key is not to have someone who has the same interests as you. Find someone who has the same type of attitude. Someone who likes to stay home is fine if you don't want to be out all the time, etc. Someone who always wants to do the same thing you want to might not give you enough space, etc.

The other thing, you want to marry your best friend. Someone you can open up to. Quite honestly, after years of the same person in bed, you will get into ruts and if all you are looking at is a hot bod, sorry, but after a few kids that goes by the wayside. You need the friendship and love, not the looks and lust.

Plus, keep in perspective what is important. If you disagree about how to discipline the kids, that is a big deal. The amount of sex isn't. Plus, if the amount of sex is that big of a deal, you need to have someone that you can talk to about it rationally, and someone that truly cares will try and change things.

My wife and I don't do a ton of things together. I get home, and while she is cooking/reheating dinner, I am playing with the kids. After dinner, she does Sudoku and I am getting the kids ready for bed, and then play a game on computer. Sometimes, we'll play a game together, sometimes we watch a movie together, etc. But, we know that we are there for each other, and if we need something the other is there for the other.

I wouldn't have it any other way. Wednesday nights I have gaming at my house. She has no problem with this. One night she goes out with a friend for dinner and they typically come back to the house and hang out until 10 or 11. I have no problem with this. Weekends we pretty much hang out with the kids and I get my yardwork done. Every other weekend I have a game day and am gone from 12 to 5.