PING: Men of FOFC

[oliegirl]

I'm sure I'll regret posting this, but the optimist in me is posting it anyway.

As most of you know, I have a 10 year old son. Last week he came home with a flyer for a meeting that the county is holding for all 4th graders, called "Growing Up and Understanding It". I've talked to him about it, and explained in very general terms, what it's about, and he's decided that he'd rather my fiancee, him and I sit down together and have a private talk.

The thing is, my fiancee's parents never sat down and talked to him, and I've never been a 10 year old boy, so neither of us really know where to start. So here I am asking for some advice.

I'm sure this thread will go downhill quickly, so if any of you have a serious answer/advice, feel free to PM me if you don't want to post it here. I'd really appreciate any advice...where to start, what questions to expect, etc...

:)

[Flasch186]

http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html
http://www.valuesparenting.com/talktokids.php

[Lathum]

One thing I would keep in mind is he probably knows more then you think.

I would start out by letting him ask questions that he is curious about. Also, maybe you could get your hands on the agenda for the program and tweak it to your own needs/ concerns.

[Raiders Army]

I had this conversation with one of my daughter's friend's mother the other week. For my daughter (who's in 4th grade), my wife bought this book on your body changing. My daughter's friend's mother was going to buy the same book and sit down and talk to her about it.

I did not have this conversation with my 15 year old son. My dad never had a conversation with me. I got all I needed to know from porn. 'nuff said.

[Raiders Army]

dola, the differences between girls and boys.

[path12]

There's a book that I used with my ex's son when he was around that age, I can't remember the name though. My policy on that was just to a) not react to any question, and b) give a simple answer.

For example, two questions I was asked at one time or another:

1) Watching a movie called And The Band Played On about the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. About halfway through, he says "What I don't get is how two guys would even have sex anyway?". My ex kind of chokes on her water and so I just respond, "well, one guy would usually put his penis in the other guys mouth or rear end". "Ewwwww, OK". No more questions.

2) Driving him home from a friends house he asks me how he would know if he ever had an orgasm or not. I told him, "oh, don't worry, you'll know". "OK."

I don't think they necessarily want all the details at once, just what they have questions about. A simple overview book of where I came from should do the trick.

[oliegirl]

Wow...serious answer, I'm impressed...thanks!

I asked him tonight during our "pre-conversation" if he had any questions, and he said no. So I asked him if he knew anything about the differences between guys/girls, sex, etc...he said no. Shortly after I was talking about how I was craving something, and kiddingly said "maybe I'm pregnant", and my son said "have you been getting busy" and then just cracked up, so clearly he knows some things, and have picked up on things that his friends are saying...which is how I know that now is the time to have the talk, I don't want him learning stuff from his friends/porn/mags, etc...

[Raiders Army]

I'd leave it to your fiance as opposed to try to teach him yourself. It doesn't matter if your fiance is "the one" or not, but I think these things come better from guys than moms.

[Lathum]

I don't want him learning stuff from his friends/porn/mags, etc...

he will anyway, it's inevatable.

[Cap Ologist]

I teach 4th grade, I'll see if I can find the stuff my school uses for you.

[Rizon]

My best advice: "You better wack it, or buy the jacket in the packet"

and

"Dead men tell no tails"

[Groundhog]

My mum tried to give me the talk when I was about 15. By that time I was already having regular sex with my gf and, thanks to the wonders of the internet/BBS age, had been looking at hardcore pornography since well before it was even remotely healthy to do so.

[sachmo71]

All that I can add, outside of reading up on some things to talk about, is to make sure you keep things relaxed, and that he knows all of the...errr...stuff...he's doing (and feeling) is natural and normal.

[Lathum]

Some of the Men of FOFC may need the talk still

[Rich1033]

"Just remember, you always dribble before you shoot" was always my favorite.

[Swaggs]

Here are two good books that are helpful for children around that age (they may be the ones that were suggested in this thread):

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Me-guide-puberty/dp/0818403128

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539

[Mustang]

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happenin.../dp/0818403128

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539

Interesting that that link viewed is shortened to Where Did Come...

Also, I don't think a book about Raj and Rerun will help kids.

[Fidatelo]

There was a bookshelf in our living room above our TV, and on the very top shelf, amongst a bunch of regular novels, was a big thick yellow book called something along the lines of "everything you always wanted to know about sex". As I grew up, when my parents went out I'd sneak it down and read about all kinds of things.

I have never asked my parents, but I as the years go by I more and more suspect that it was no accident the book was there, and I'm guessing it saved us all some awkward conversations :)

[Logan]

There was a bookshelf in our living room above our TV, and on the very top shelf, amongst a bunch of regular novels, was a big thick yellow book called something along the lines of "everything you always wanted to know about sex". As I grew up, when my parents went out I'd sneak it down and read about all kinds of things.

I have never asked my parents, but I as the years go by I more and more suspect that it was no accident the book was there, and I'm guessing it saved us all some awkward conversations :)

I did the same thing, except the book on the very top shelf was called something along the lines of "Penthouse."

[johnnyshaka]

There was a bookshelf in our living room above our TV, and on the very top shelf, amongst a bunch of regular novels, was a big thick yellow book called something along the lines of "everything you always wanted to know about sex". As I grew up, when my parents went out I'd sneak it down and read about all kinds of things.

I have never asked my parents, but I as the years go by I more and more suspect that it was no accident the book was there, and I'm guessing it saved us all some awkward conversations :)

My parents had a series of books that dealt with everything about sex and relationships that was readily available during my formative years. Whether they had intended on reading them with my brother and I or not, I don't know, but I did look through them several times. Obviously the first couple times were to see if I could find any gratuitous boob action, and I surely did, but I also did do some reading as well. Was it the best "sex Ed." approach, probably not but I think it worked adequately.

My dad did pull me aside one afternoon and uttered these words:

"Keep your pecker in your pants or else..."

Like any normal teenager, I didn't listen but I think I waited longer than most of my friends.

[Anthony]

and seriously, don't give him all that jive about foreplay. don't ruin what could be a great conversation with that mularkey.

[MikeVic]

I never had a talk like this, and I just learned everything from porn, the internet, and friends.

The internet was slow and barely used when I saw porn on it for the first time. I can't imagine how early I would've found all this stuff if I was a kid nowadays. Lucky kids.

[PilotMan]

My best advice is that you need to keep it simple to start. If you go overboard trying to explain everything in one sitting it is going to blow his mind, and he may not want to talk about it at all.

Small bits of info, basics, and then later, keep it light and be matter of fact. Don't sugar coat it, use straight talk language but make sure that he understands what you are saying. Like I said, if you go to deep too soon it will turn him off, and that could hurt you later, when you really want to talk to him about something else.

[Icy]

My parents were so liberals those days (in the early 80's) so we never had that embarrasing talk but nothing was hidden either. I remember they purchased me a book when i was so young, probably before i was 10. It was a book named "From where do we come" (or something like that translated from Spanish), and it explained sexual organs, sex, pregancy etc using kids words, comic draws, etc. I was both fun and very informative.

I remember later, when i was 16 and after having the same girlfriend since i was 14 (and the woman i'm married with now) i was in the car going shopping with my mum and all the sudden she asked me if i were using condoms in my sexual relationships. It caught me totally by surprise and i felt really embarrased about it so i just tell her that i knew what i was doing so to not to get worried but please let's change the topic. She never asked again and for sure i would have prefered my dad to talk about it than my mum.

There was a bookshelf in our living room above our TV, and on the very top shelf, amongst a bunch of regular novels, was a big thick yellow book called something along the lines of "everything you always wanted to know about sex". As I grew up, when my parents went out I'd sneak it down and read about all kinds of things.

I have never asked my parents, but I as the years go by I more and more suspect that it was no accident the book was there, and I'm guessing it saved us all some awkward conversations :)

It was more or less the same for me, in my case it was "The Hite Report on Female Sexuality" that had really high value to underestand what women like during sex. I guess my mum wanted me to become a good women lover :)

[Icy]

Dola, found the book i was talking about:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0818402539/petermayle-20

I remember reading it before being 10, probably being 7 or so, so maybe it's too kiddy style for your 10 years old son, but read the comments in amazon to see if it could fit him.

[oliegirl]

Thanks guys...I appreciate all the links. We are actually heading to Barnes and Noble today to check out what books they might have in store so that when the time is right, they can have "the talk".

I know he knows more than he is letting on, and I know he'll learn from his friends and stuff, I'd just rather him have actual answers/information before he starts really hearing things from his friends and having conversations, etc... about it all.

[Pumpy Tudors]

OK, so what you do is take a cold hot dog, a bottle of Welch's white grape juice, three cans of Diet Mountain Dew, and a pervert. Take all of these outside and start putting the hot dog and the beverages into the pervert's ass. Don't put the bottle or the cans in. Just pour the liquids in. Let your son watch all of this. Listen closely to see who screams first, the pervert or your son. If your son screams first, he understands enough and doesn't need to hear any more. If the pervert screams first, your son is not ready, and you should try this again next year.

[Eaglesfan27]

Path and Pilot have the best serious answers. Pumpy has the answer that just made me spew coke onto the monitor.

[rkmsuf]

Just let nature take it's course. Fuck the talk.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

OK, so what you do is take a cold hot dog, a bottle of Welch's white grape juice, three cans of Diet Mountain Dew, and a pervert. Take all of these outside and start putting the hot dog and the beverages into the pervert's ass. Don't put the bottle or the cans in. Just pour the liquids in. Let your son watch all of this. Listen closely to see who screams first, the pervert or your son. If your son screams first, he understands enough and doesn't need to hear any more. If the pervert screams first, your son is not ready, and you should try this again next year.

There's no way this could be made up. There has to be some personal experiences behind this test.

[oliegirl]

I should have known that once Pumpy got here it would all be over...

:D

[Bee]

One of the weirdest moments of my life was right before I got married (at the ripe old age of 29) and my boss at the time pulls me into his office and has "the talk" with me. I guess he thought of me as a son and just ignored the fact that I was 29 and my wife and I had been living together for a year beforehand. I did find it amusing though when he compared a man to a microwave and a woman to a crockpot. No kidding...this actually happened to me.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I did find it amusing though when he compared a man to a microwave and a woman to a crockpot. No kidding...this actually happened to me.
Man, Bee, I know how you feel. I remember this one time, I put some chicken noodle soup in the microwave. I sat down on the kitchen counter and closed my eyes for what seemed like a couple of seconds. Next thing I knew, the microwave door blew open and I took a load of Chunky right in the face, off-white strings hanging from my nose and my chin. It was embarrassing and a little upsetting, especially when I turned and looked at the crockpot across the room that my wife put a pot roast in earlier. It had been six hours, and that thing still hadn't cooked shit.

[MikeVic]

Man, Bee, I know how you feel. I remember this one time, I put some chicken noodle soup in the microwave. I sat down on the kitchen counter and closed my eyes for what seemed like a couple of seconds. Next thing I knew, the microwave door blew open and I took a load of Chunky right in the face, off-white strings hanging from my nose and my chin. It was embarrassing and a little upsetting, especially when I turned and looked at the crockpot across the room that my wife put a pot roast in earlier. It had been six hours, and that thing still hadn't cooked shit.

Hahahahaha oh man!

[rkmsuf]

Man, Bee, I know how you feel. I remember this one time, I put some chicken noodle soup in the microwave. I sat down on the kitchen counter and closed my eyes for what seemed like a couple of seconds. Next thing I knew, the microwave door blew open and I took a load of Chunky right in the face, off-white strings hanging from my nose and my chin. It was embarrassing and a little upsetting, especially when I turned and looked at the crockpot across the room that my wife put a pot roast in earlier. It had been six hours, and that thing still hadn't cooked shit.

bukkakke style soup

[cuervo72]

Man, Bee, I know how you feel. I remember this one time, I put some chicken noodle soup in the microwave. I sat down on the kitchen counter and closed my eyes for what seemed like a couple of seconds. Next thing I knew, the microwave door blew open and I took a load of Chunky right in the face, off-white strings hanging from my nose and my chin. It was embarrassing and a little upsetting, especially when I turned and looked at the crockpot across the room that my wife put a pot roast in earlier. It had been six hours, and that thing still hadn't cooked shit.


My dad tried chicken noodle soup in a crock pot. He put in too many egg noodles, and they absorbed all the liquid and made one huge lump of fused noodle. He tried to eat through his creation, but just couldn't do it.

[Pumpy Tudors]

bukkakke style soup
Funny, I'd never thought of it that way.

[RomaGoth]

OK, so what you do is take a cold hot dog, a bottle of Welch's white grape juice, three cans of Diet Mountain Dew, and a pervert. Take all of these outside and start putting the hot dog and the beverages into the pervert's ass. Don't put the bottle or the cans in. Just pour the liquids in. Let your son watch all of this. Listen closely to see who screams first, the pervert or your son. If your son screams first, he understands enough and doesn't need to hear any more. If the pervert screams first, your son is not ready, and you should try this again next year.

Pervert = Pumpy????

[Lorena]

be careful romagoth, that's 3 times you called pumpy. Now he's gonna come thru your mirror and ram a hot dog up your ass.

[MikeVic]

be careful romagoth, that's 3 times you called pumpy. Now he's gonna come thru your mirror and ram a hot dog up your ass.

bloody mary bloody mary pumpy

AHHH!!!!

[MikeVic]

be careful romagoth, that's 3 times you called pumpy. Now he's gonna come thru your mirror and ram a hot dog up your ass.

bloody mary bloody mary pumpy

AHHH!!!!

[MikeVic]

What the... I did not press the Post button twice.

[Suburban Rhythm]

I didn't read the whole thread, so this might be covered in there.
But, let him ask questions--then answer them honestly.

I did see mentioned he most likely know more than you think he does already, but no doubt will still be shy about talking to YOU about it, not matter how close your relationship. But, once you get your foot in the door and he feels comfortable with it, hopefully he'll ask the questions he's really curious about.

Edit to add-- felt the need to share this story. When I was 7, and my older sister 9, my parents sat us down to explain my mother was pregnant again.
They made us turn off the TV, and had this book of 'How a baby is made' (this would have been 1983). They read through, show us the (cartoon-ish) pictures of a mom and dad, the mom's stomach growing, etc. At the end, they ask if we had any questions. My sister starts blurting out a billion questions about when is the baby coming, is it a boy or girl, what is it's name, etc etc etc. When they finished with her, they look at me and ask if I had any questions. and I ask "Yeah...can we turn the TV back on?"

[RomaGoth]

be careful romagoth, that's 3 times you called pumpy. Now he's gonna come thru your mirror and ram a hot dog up your ass.

Yeah this stupid computer posted it 3 times so I had to delete 2 of them. :mad:

With that being said, the thought of Pumpy coming through the mirror is frightening. Absolutely frightening. :eek:

[Pumpy Tudors]

i didn't read the whole thread but i have this cold hot dog here and i'm wondering what i should do with it. any ideas???

[MikeVic]

I didn't read the whole thread, so this might be covered in there.
But, let him ask questions--then answer them honestly.

I did see mentioned he most likely know more than you think he does already, but no doubt will still be shy about talking to YOU about it, not matter how close your relationship. But, once you get your foot in the door and he feels comfortable with it, hopefully he'll ask the questions he's really curious about.

Hey mom ok, I'm comfortable now... so what I'm really wondering... is where them white bitches at?

[MikeVic]

i didn't read the whole thread but i have this cold hot dog here and i'm wondering what i should do with it. any ideas???

Come at Roma through the window and shove it in his pooper. While he's posting on FOFC on the toilet.

[Lorena]

i didn't read the whole thread but i have this cold hot dog here and i'm wondering what i should do with it. any ideas???

I think it's a given that you need to warm it up in the microwave. Just be careful not to leave it in there too long or it will explode.

[Doug5984]

I never had a talk like this, and I just learned everything from porn, the internet, and friends.

The internet was slow and barely used when I saw porn on it for the first time. I can't imagine how early I would've found all this stuff if I was a kid nowadays. Lucky kids.

I never had the talk, but I did get HBO in my room when I was in the 4th grade... Red Shoe Diaries (I think that was what it was called?)

[RomaGoth]

i didn't read the whole thread but i have this cold hot dog here and i'm wondering what i should do with it. any ideas???

Find a pervert on the street and have Dodgerchick's son watch the violation? :rolleyes:

[MikeVic]

I think it's a given that you need to warm it up in the microwave. Just be careful not to leave it in there too long or it will explode.

So what are you saying about Pumpy?

[Cringer]

Wow, I still couldn't have a talk with my Mom about sex today. It would just creep me out. In fact, writing the previous sentence made me a little sick to the stomach.

But if you must talk to the boy, seriously make sure you tell him that porn isn't the most realistic thing in the world. Nurses, cheerleaders, and other chicks in uniform are not always so easy. Tell him just because he hears something from his friends, it doesn't make it 100% true and that he will hear things about sex that if he ever has a question about he should ask one of the adults in his life.

Or, if you just want to scare him, that new movie Teeth is about to come out.

[rkmsuf]

Your Testicles and You

[Cringer]

What about my testicles and me? I have already made it clear to Pumpy that I will not be giving out pics.

[duckman]

"I don't trust anyone that bleeds for 5 to 7 days and doesn't die."

[Lorena]

So what are you saying about Pumpy?

Nothing! He had a cold hot dog so I suggested he put it in the microwave to heat it up. Those things explode if they're left in there too long.

What did you think I meant?

[MikeVic]

Nothing! He had a cold hot dog so I suggested he put it in the microwave to heat it up. Those things explode if they're left in there too long.

What did you think I meant?

I thought you meant he should put his dohickey in a guy's wallydoodle, but to watch out how long it continue because too long results in mr. lemonfluid making an appearance.

[Lorena]

Find a pervert on the street and have Dodgerchick's son watch the violation? :rolleyes:

Keep it up fucker. The more people you piss off, the faster your ass is gonna be outte here.

[MikeVic]

Keep it up fucker. The more people you piss off, the faster your ass is gonna be outte here.

Yeah, first he makes fun of Paul Coffey and now this! That's two weeks in the box pal.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/columbia_pictures/not_another_teen_movie/paul_gleason/teen2.jpg

edit: But seriously, not cool to bring kids into it!!

[rkmsuf]

edit: But seriously, not cool to bring kids into it!!



THE THREAD IS ABOUT KIDS!!!!!!!!



and pumpy getting bukkakke from soup

[Lathum]

Keep it up fucker. The more people you piss off, the faster your ass is gonna be outte here.

tell him!!!!

[MikeVic]

THE THREAD IS ABOUT KIDS!!!!!!!!



and pumpy getting bukkakke from soup


Hey man, what kind of trip are you on.

[wade moore]

Keep it up fucker. The more people you piss off, the faster your ass is gonna be outte here.

So seriously..

How is Pumpy's post cute and cuddly, but RG's post is all of a sudden offensive?

Come on people.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

So seriously..

How is Pumpy's post cute and cuddly, but RG's post is all of a sudden offensive?

Come on people.

Who cares. I think we can all agree that women that talk dirty should be an integral part of this thread.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I guess I'm done here.

Peace out, FOFC.

[rkmsuf]

I guess I'm done here.

Peace out, FOFC.

lol

[wade moore]

I guess I'm done here.

Peace out, FOFC.;)

FWIW, neither one phased me.

[MikeVic]

I guess I'm done here.

Peace out, FOFC.

You troublemaker.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

So, I'm writing a new book that contains every hot dog recipe known to exist. Does anyone have any contributions of note?

[rkmsuf]

So, I'm writing a new book that contains every hot dog recipe known to exist. Does anyone have any contributions of note?

Pervert Dog:

Hot dog in a trout's rectum, wrapped in bacon.

Cook for 30 seconds in the microwave and top with the cream of chicken noodle soup.

[Marc Vaughan]

I've always tried to avoid giving 'the talk' and instead have always let my kids know they can ask me about anything and I'll try and answer it honestly even if I'm a tad embaressed about it.

Only my oldest (who's 13) has crossed this territory so far but she's asked me loads of questions on a whole bunch of topics (ranging from what homo-sexuals do, what blow jobs are etc.).

I try and be honest when answering although not particularly graphic - most of the time I try and lighten the mood somewhat where applicable by telling my mistakes when I was younger (hands up who thought blow jobs involved 'blowing' when you were 12-13? ... ;) ).

I'm hoping this approach will mean they stay honest with me as they get older .... but time will tell and heck as far as I can tell no one really knows the rules of the parenting game, we're all just making it up as we go along :D

[Dr. Sak]

What kind of hotel is this??

[Lorena]

just curious... would you have been as vehement if it was "Have Oliegirl's son watch the violation."?

not that his post is okay but we've seen worse.

Dang, I had deleted my post but oh well.. a little quick on the draw aren't ya? ;)

Well, first of all, if I made that post, yeah, my son would be fair game. But because I didn't, then my kids, or no one else's kids should be involved, that's all I'm saying.

[finketr]

Dang, I had deleted my post but oh well.. a little quick on the draw aren't ya? ;)

Well, first of all, if I made that post, yeah, my son would be fair game. But because I didn't, then my kids, or no one else's kids should be involved, that's all I'm saying.

it had just seemed so odd from you. :)

I'll go delete my post/quote... I had forgotten it was oliegirl that started this thread not you so i coulda made the same mistake... Though I admit if i were saying something like that i'd be making sure i had the right target...

[Karlifornia]

I learned everything I needed to know about sex after a half hour backstage with Gary Glitter on his '88 comeback tour.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I learned everything I needed to know about sex after having sex with SkyDog about 20 minutes ago... and now I know why there are 10 hot dogs in a pack.

[MikeVic]

I learned everything I needed to know about sex after having sex with SkyDog about 20 minutes ago... and now I know why there are 10 hot dogs in a pack.

I'm sure more than just me are curious about this: was he wearing the undies or not.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'm sure more than just me are curious about this: was he wearing the undies or not.
Yes. For a while.

[Eaglesfan27]

I learned everything I needed to know about sex after having sex with SkyDog about 20 minutes ago... and now I know why there are 10 hot dogs in a pack.

Why?

[Pumpy Tudors]

Why?
So SkyDog doesn't get left hanging.

[gkb]

I thought I might find some good advice in here for the day when I need to have the "talk" with my son and daughter. However, after reading the whole thing I've decided that from now on I'm just going to search for Pumpy's posts in threads like these.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I thought I might find some good advice in here for the day when I need to have the "talk" with my son and daughter. However, after reading the whole thing I've decided that from now on I'm just going to search for Pumpy's posts in threads like these.
I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I'll be the first to admit that most of my posts are pretty shitty (http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showpost.php?p=1646201&postcount=17).