Social Anxiety Disorder (ping EF27?)

[BrianD]

My turn for a long advice thread.

Does anybody have any knowledge/experience with SAD or other social phobias? When I initially saw advertisements for drugs for this "disorder" I thought it was just another made up thing to try to get people to think they needed to buy more drugs. Now I'm not starting to wonder if I should actually talk to somebody about this.

I have always considered myself a shy, quiet person and never thought too much about it. Recently I have started to realized that much of my shyness is fairly irrational. One example is using the telephone. I hate using the telephone. If I have to use the telephone - even to talk to friends - I have to prepare myself and work up a head of steam to make it happen. The task of calling for deliveries goes straight to my wife. Sometimes even a ringing phone will go unanswered just so I can listen to the message and gear up for the return call.

Another irrational thing is singing with my wife. She sings professionally (small scale) and loves singing. She is also very understanding and not the mocking type. I sing alone often and believe that I do it well enough to not embarrass myself. Even so, I can't sing with my wife. It is probably the safest environment anywhere, but I can't get myself to do it.

There are other irrational things that come up from time to time but I won't list them all. There is also the nagging notion that I might occasionally be slightly depressed. It is nothing major, but low energy levels and routine "blah" feelings make me wonder.

So, anybody with any thoughts/experience in this area? Is this not just normal shyness? Does this sound like something that really could be changed/treated?

[Eaglesfan27]

I wouldn't try to diagnose you or anyone else over the internet, but I will say that Social Anxiety Disorder (also called Social Phobia by some doctors) is a very real disorder that has been proven to have a physiological basis with functional MRI studies (that are very cool by the way!) It is a very treatable disorder that responds very well to a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and a SSRI (which would also help someone who was depressed a bit or more.) If anyone was considering the possibility that they might have Social Anxiety Disorder, I'd recommend that they try to see a local psychiatrist for a full evaluation. It can make a huge difference in quality of life.

Edit to add: It responds best to the combination of CBT and an SSRI, but it can be treated with either alone with less effectiveness if one is so inclined.

[path12]

I've got it. It sucks. The extroverted and patient Ms.Path knows full well that I am somewhat of an uncertainty for all social events......though I usually know at least a day or two ahead of a particular event if the level of stress involved will cause me to be a no-show or not.

If it's a smaller group I know well it's not usually a problem. If it is at an unfamiliar place or likely to have a lot of people I don't know well I will have to work to get myself past the stress involved and actually show up.

The way I think about it is that for most people social interactions tend to be invigorating -- but they tend to just drain my energy. I am worn out after socializing.

[Autumn]

Wow, I have the exact same issue with the phone. I can't stand using it, it makes me anxious, and I will avoid it at all costs. Nice to see there's at least one person like me out there.

It's definitely a form of social anxiety for me, and I see a therapist for general things, so it's something I talk about there. I'm not sure I would want to get medicated for that, but it's definitely a real issue in my life, and the more so the more stressed or depressed I am.

[cartman]

+1 on the phone thing. I'm like that as well.

[gkb]

I have it as well. I have the same problems with the phone as mentioned previously, with the wife having to make all delivery/service calls for us, as well as other issues that crop up from time-to-time. After the birth of our first child I was a tad-bit on the suicidal-side, so I would say my depression issues, while mild at first, got larger. Right now I'm on Lexapro and it has really helped. I would just encourage you to get help if you think you need it...it has made things a lot better for me.

EF27's advice, as always, is excellent.

[lungs]

I hate phones too. I've gotten a little better now that I'm forced to call people for my job fairly often.

But when I talk to my friends on the phone I don't get nervous at all, I just want to know what the hell they have to say and hang up.

[Autumn]

GKB, I had a very hard time after our second son was born, myself, and that's how I ended up seeing a therapist. I haven't gone on any meds, but it's helped me a lot. For me I suppose there's a bit of a tie between the anxiety issues and depression, I wonder if they generally go together.

My wife thinks I'm a freak (nicely) for my phone issues, I'll have to show her this thread. When I tease her for being scared of mice, she always says, "This from the guy who's afraid of the phone."

[MrBug708]

Time for a cuddle party!

I dislike the phone as well

[Eaglesfan27]

For me I suppose there's a bit of a tie between the anxiety issues and depression, I wonder if they generally go together.



In general, I think there is a strong correlation between the two both physiologically and psychologically. There are caused by deficits in the same neurotransmitter, serotonin. Also, I believe that psychologically as one becomes more anxious, they are more likely to become depressed about their anxiety.

[Eaglesfan27]

Dola -

When I say it responds best to meds and therapy and less well to either alone, I'm just quoting studies. I don't recommend meds for a significant percentage of my patients (who are usually surprised that a doctor isn't trying to push a pill on them) who have less severe forms of Social Anxiety Disorder. I recommend trying just therapy alone at first in those cases. It just varies case by case.

[path12]

My therapist thinks they're pretty closely related for me. I've got fairly severe depression episodes as well, but my meds are working well right now knock wood.

Oh, and my phone is for outgoing calls only. :)

[path12]

newsflash: correlation found between text sim geeks and social anxiety disorder.

Now that's funny.

[path12]

i thought this was part of being human

I don't know that panic attacks and throwing up for days beforehand is all that normal.

[BrianD]

Oh, and my phone is for outgoing calls only. :)

That for me is worse than incoming calls. With incoming calls, I can sometimes grab the phone before anxiety has had a chance to set in. With outgoing calls, no such luck.

I don't think I've ever gotten to the point of getting sick thinking about a social event, but I have sure felt sick often enough. I have found that the only way to get through some of those events is to never mingle. I find an anchor person and never leave. Yet again, knowing my coping mechanism always reminds me that I shouldn't need one.

EF27, thanks for your thoughts. It is nice to know that there is at least the possibility of this being something non-permanent.

[Autumn]

Yes, me too. If someone calls me and I don't have time to worry about it, I'm fine. Gearing up to make a phone call is hard, and thinking about answering the phone is unpleasant. Actually talking isn't that big of a deal.

I find it's mostly the anticipation that bothers me. I'm not good in social situations, but I'm not upset there. It's knowing I"m going to be going that works me up.

[BrianD]

I agree, things are a million times worse in my head then they are in real life. Oddly, that realization doesn't help.

[Lorena]

I feel like that too sometimes but it usually goes away after a little alcohol.

[path12]

I'm not good in social situations, but I'm not upset there. It's knowing I"m going to be going that works me up.

I agree, things are a million times worse in my head then they are in real life. Oddly, that realization doesn't help.

I can relate to both of you on these. It's funny, my wife's friends all were surprised when they realized about my anxiety and went on about how it never shows in public. But I do anchor myself to Ms.Path pretty closely at those things and now that I know her friends so much better I'm fine with them......and conversely, now that they know me better they can now tell when I'm having problems.

It's weird how much I share here. It's really my main social outlet, which should indicate a problem in itself. ;)

[BrianD]

I feel like that too sometimes but it usually goes away after a little alcohol.

From the little reading I have done, that seems to be a common coping method.

[Lorena]

Oh and Brian, the way you feel about singing is the way I feel about dancing. Antmeister's always dancing (his whole family dances) but I cannot get myself to do it in front of him, his family or hell, even my kids.

[BrianD]

Yeah, you could add dancing to my list as well. Although that one I feel a little more justified on because even when I am by myself I am pretty sure I can't dance. Whatever white boy dancing stereotypes exist...I probably prove them right.

[Autumn]

I heard there's a great dance video you can pick up, and learn some sweet moves.

[path12]

I heard there's a great dance video you can pick up, and learn some sweet moves.

The Safety Dance?

[st.cronin]

I would much, much, much rather talk to somebody on the phone.