Life Crossroads

[Izulde]

I've decided to take a year off before pursuing my Master's. I was accepted by San Jose State and Arkansas, but neither one offered me anything close to the funding I needed and besides, I got a bad vibe after visiting Arkansas and there were some schools I wanted to apply to but I didn't get a chance to because I was in Spain and so missed the deadlines.

The question now becomes whether to stay in my hometown or move out of state.

If I move out of state, I'm leaning towards Florida, as there's quite a few universities there whose Masters programs interest me, highlighted by the University of Florida at Gainesville. My intention would be to move there, establish state residency and apply to the schools in the state that interest me for next fall, along with University of Kentucky and Wake Forest.

The only problem is there's no guarantee of job or housing there, nor, admittedly, is there any certainty I'd be accepted into the schools I'd apply to, though I think I have a pretty decent chance.

If I stay here in Wisconsin, I can save major money by staying with my folks, plus I'm pretty much guaranteed a job through a friend of a friend type deal who's very well connected with the local businesses and knows about the job openings that don't get posted publically very often.

The problem there is, I hate living in my home state and have been wanting to move out for years. I also don't get the benefit of establishing state residency somewhere where I really want to go to school, nor, I suspect, would I necessarily make enough to make up the difference between in-state and out-of-state costs.

I also would have to deal with my live-in alcholic half-brother, who I hate most days, feel sorry for some days and like a few days. He's a liar, a drunk, a felon and a thief (already stolen at least $50 from me). My dad won't kick him out, so he's probably here for the duration, as he's unemployed and not having much luck finding a job after quitting one job and getting fired from the other because corporate found out he has a felony on his record.

My mom's stressed out with his being there as well and has considered moving out several times until he's gone.

I worry about what would happen if I did move out, both for the greater stress it'd put on my mom without me around and for the general security of the house and happiness of my parents.

On the other hand, I'm angry a lot these days and have been smoking a lot more heavily since I've headed back to my hometown after graduating from undergrad.

If it wasn't for the drunkie, I'd still be torn, but would lean heavily in the direction of Florida, as I have friends and family there and enough money to see me at least through the first month while job-hunting and getting established.

But because of him, I'm even more conflicted and have been wrestling with ths decision for weeks. I've consulted with some people close to me (my mom, my best friend, and my fraternal big bro chief among them) and they're just as divided as I am (well the big bro thinks I should take the job).

So I'm throwing it open to FOFC for you guyses input.

Thanks for listening.

[Drake]

Move. It'll be the best thing you ever did. Seriously.

[samifan24]

It sounds like you have already established the benefits of moving out and the negatives of staying at home. Other than saving money, are there any other benefits or reasons why you'd choose to stay at home? It sounds like moving out would be the more productive option but also far more difficult in a practical sense (finding a new place, making new friends, etc).

In the end you have to make the best decision for your long term happiness. And, in the end, only you will know what that really means.

[oliegirl]

Move. You need to find your own place, and it's clearly not in your hometown. All the reasons you listed to stay were for other people, and unfortunately, you can't always live for others...so even though it might make things a little more stressful, it sounds like it's time for you to get out on your own and find the person you are supposed to be.

Good luck with whatever you decide though :)

[sabotai]

It may sound cold, but there comes a point when you just have to do what's best for you. If you, in any way, put your life on hold and risk your future, it can be extremely difficult to get it going again.

If your goal is to get into grad school, you have to do whatever it is that will help you the most to reach that goal.

[Izulde]

Thanks for all the input, everyone. It's what I'm leaning towards. The only other financial hurdle to consider for staying versus going is student loans, which is pretty miniscule relative to a lot of other people ($5,500), but still a significant chunk. The guaranteed job (which would be quite good salary and benefitwise) would allow that to be paid off fairly quickly and easily.

[NoMyths]

Student loan repayment cost per month aren't bad at that amount if you're employable. My sense is that those with wide-ranging interests are better served by exploring the world. You will have to work hard -- but you want to, right?

[Drake]

Besides, student loan repayment doesn't kick in for 6 months between full time education gigs, and deferments are easy to get. Just tell them that you're dealing with a family crisis.

[JPhillips]

Is grad school for writing? My advice is to get yourself in an environment where you can do your work and that doesn't sound like home. Grad school is great, but don't wait to start creating. This year out of school can be used to beef up your portfolio as well as just learn by doing.

[Lathum]

I agree with moving.

At some point you need to live your own life.

[Izulde]

I have a BA in English (with honors and study abroad) and an A.A in Marketing. Job experience is a little weak, with four years at Victoria's Secret, plus the second part-time gig I picked up as a Shipping and Receiving Technician at a small industrial outfit for the summer. How employable that makes me, I'm not entirely sure, but I'd say I have a decent shot.

Student loan payments would kick in November or December.

As for grad school, it'd be for English with the aim of becoming a community college instructor, plus some adjunct teaching at a university if the opportunity arises.

An MFA, while nice, is virtually unemployable in the current academia market (Too many MFAs + too few teaching opportunities for MFAs = bad idea). NoMyths, I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.

I'm defintely going to look into a loan deferment and I've contacted one of my good friends who's lived all over Florida for more information. I've got some relatives that live down there as well, so I'll inquire with them as well, along with one or two other avenues I have to explore.

[Lorena]

Yeah, living elsewhere is a whole new adventure, by all means go for it.

[NoMyths]

An MFA, while nice, is virtually unemployable in the current academia market (Too many MFAs + too few teaching opportunities for MFAs = bad idea). NoMyths, I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.

Eh, it's about what you'd expect anyway: if you publish well-received books or find another way into the conversation you'll find a home. An MFA program is great if you're a self-motivated writer who pretty much just wants to do that and still be able to teach later. If you prefer to write about writing, a straight MA route is your better option.

I've had about as much non-academic experience as otherwise, and several of those opportunities were related to aspects of my degrees. In addition to teaching I also do freelance editing and consulting work with writers and commercial clients.

[MacroGuru]

Move, it's needed for your sanity and well being..

Now in state or out of state is a tough question, but I would honestly suggest getting as far away from the situation that is depressing you and causing the negative effects in your life.

[tarcone]

As for residency. Before you move contact the university and ask what you need to do to establish residency. When I moved to Missouri from Iowa and went back to school at the Univ. of MO-St. Louis. Its been years ago, but I took a copy of my lease, a bill at that address and changed my liscense from Iowa to Missouri. I lived here about a month and paid in-state tuition.

Dont let that hang you up. You can work around it pretty easy.

[Izulde]

I'll be contacting the universities, yep. :)

One of my friends in Florida recommended Gainesville itself as the best mix of cost-of-living and job for a year type potential, so I'm researching jobs there.

I've now shifted to 90% likelihood of moving down to Florida.

[Izulde]

I've been thinking a lot more lately over the last few days and took a harder look at the situation.

If I stay here in Wisconsin, I have an excellent chance through networking of getting a corporate marketing job that has good salary and benefits, etc. I've never worked corporate, only done retail, and in the case of this summer, a taste of industrial and I've always wanted to at least try it.

I save a ton of money by living at home, money that would offset the out of state costs at any public university I chose to go to.

And, perhaps most importantly, I'll have peace of mind regarding the family/home situation. My dad's 75 and not in very good health and if something were to happen to him or to my mom while I was out of state with my asshole alcoholic half-brother still living there, I'd never forgive myself.

I still hate my home state and the drunkie, but I can deal with it for a year, especially with the novelty of the corporate job to keep me going and the dreaming of going to a graduate school I love in Fall 2009.

There's no guarantee that I'd even enjoy living in Florida and if I happen to fall in love with a school that's not in Florida and get accepted, well there goes all that and I have a -lot- less money to make it happen than I would if I'd stayed home.

I know and recognize the advantages of moving out, but since my plan for life is essentially on hold for a year anyway, I may as well put myself in the best position for the greatest future happiness after this year.

Oh and I received notification a few days ago that I got a fellowship from Arkansas that pays tuition (but not books, fees, housing, meals, etc). I agonized between the three choices then available to me, but my mom and my sister both reminded me of the bad vibe I got there and so I've decided to decline the fellowship and sit out the year.

In the end, I know this is what's best for me and my future happiness.

Thanks for listening and all the advice, guys and gals. :)

[Izulde]

Hello, 180.

Arkansas called me today and offered me a teaching assistantship, which offers full tuition waiver (I already had that due to the fellowship), a $4,950 stipend per semester and, most importantly the opportunity to teach beginning my very first semester, 2 sections in the fall and 2 sections in the spring.

They wanted to know as soon as possible if I'm taking it, as in by tomorrow or Wednesday at the very latest.

So I did a lot of thinking today, a lot of talking it over with different people and I've decided I'm going to take it. It's a fantastic opportunity, the like which I might not get again and I'd be able to go to grad school straight away.

To put how huge the teaching bit is in perspective, a lot of universities, their masters students in the first year are either research flunkies for a professor's project or, more commonly, writing lab flunkies where you sit around for x number of hours per week and wait for students to come in for help with papers. And then, even in their second year, there's competition with other students for teaching sections.

Naturally it's freshman composition the first year. I don't know if second-year masters students are able to teach 100-level lit classes or not, but even so, two years in-classroom teachin experience is a pretty substantial leg up in this job market. :)

[molson]

Shit yo, that's good news!!

Great move to take advantage of that opportunity NOW.

Now you just have to figure out how to like Arkansas.

[Izulde]

Shit yo, that's good news!!

Great move to take advantage of that opportunity NOW.

Now you just have to figure out how to like Arkansas.

Thanks. :)

To be honest I liked the campus and enjoyed the area even though it was torrential downpour the entire time I was there.

It was just Kimpel Hall itself I loathed with every fibre of my being. But maybe that'll change next time I'm there.

[sabotai]

Congrats Izulde!

[JPhillips]

Congrats. Grad school will likely be both the best and worst couple years of your life!

[flere-imsaho]

Congrats! That sounds like a good opportunity. Have the "bad vibes" you had about Arkansas been erased? Another good point about this opportunity, as well, is that you'll easily be able to continue to defer your student loans.

Also, if you don't mind giving up the information, which company has your student loans? Someone here might be able to help with personal experience. For instance, if they're with Nelnet, I'll tell you that not only was I able to defer while I got a job, I was later able to refinance (with them) to a lower monthly payment and a 3.75% interest rate for the length of the repayment. These are the kinds of options you'll at least want to know about.

[Noop]

Don't go to Florida because I will personally go to Gainesville and kick your stankin Gator ass. However congrats if you go to Arkansas.

[MJ4H]

YES! Let me know if you need anything! And get your RPS OT throws in when you get a chance ;)

[oliegirl]

Congrats Izulde!!!! That is so awesome :) Very happy for you, sounds like things are falling into place, as they usually do.

Do we have to call you Professor Izulde now???

[korme]

Congrats dudes.

[Swaggs]

Good news... As I said in the other thread, I think it is a smart move to do this now and get it completed, rather than trying to go back and do it after you have started making money.

[RPI-Fan]

Glad it has worked out for you.

Make sure if this is what you do, you don't look back and go into it not hoping, but KNOWING you have to succeed.

[Zelig]

If you don't get laid now you never will.

[Izulde]

Thanks again everyone. :)

Regarding the student loans, I'm not sure which company? One Stafford loan's with Wells Fargo, the other with a local bank in La Crosse.

The bad vibes were really just limited to Kimpel Hall, which is a truly ugly building in my opinion, especially since the rest of the campus is pretty (though I'll confess to a bias to East Coast universities with Gothic architecture). I think the fact that it was pouring rain, nobody was around really, and all the lights were more or less out in the hall contributed a lot to it as well. While my shared office will be in Kimpel, it could well grow on me and English classes are scattered all throughout the university, so hopefully I'll get to be in other buildings as well. :)

You guys don't -have- to call me Professor Izulde or anything. Indeed, I might feel a little odd, since I believe we actually have professors on FOFC who have gone through the work to get the terminal degree in their field and I'm not sure how they'd take that.... but on the other hand, I wouldn't mind or anything. :D

Good thing to keep in mind with the KNOWING I have to succeed. I've been wide awake with nervous energy the couple days pouring over everything in my head. It honestly feels a lot like when I took the U-14 girls soccer team coaching gig, which is a good sign, considering how well that one turned out. :)

As for the last comment, I'll just say.. ouch. ;)

[JeeberD]

You should've seen what UTEP would have given you. You're screwed now, buddy...

[TCY Junkie]

Only one paragraph without a smiley, you must be giddy.

Anyway congrats