List of over 300,000 ER visits

[Easy Mac]

http://www.sun-sentinel2.com/features/ftlaudNEISS/ftlaudNEISS08_list.php?a=showall&value=1&SearchFor=&SearchOption=&SearchField=

a database of a lot of Er visits. The range from the mundane to the bizarre. Searching for certain terms reveals there are some sexually adventurous people in this country... And way too many bottles...

[Alan T]

How is this even legal? How is this allowed with the laws regarding releasing patient information? Is this a real list or just for fun?

[Honolulu_Blue]

How is this even legal? How is this allowed with the laws regarding releasing patient information? Is this a real list or just for fun?

I think this is legal. There is no way you could identify any one person based on only age, sex, race and treatment date.

[illinifan999]

http://www.sun-sentinel2.com/features/ftlaudNEISS/ftlaudNEISS08_view.php?editid1=22457

That is one old woman.

[Mustang]

View 11/18/2008 59 Male White RECTUM FB-DILDO VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM-@ HOME
View 11/14/2008 20 Female Black PT WAS STIMULATING HERSELF WITH A VIBRATOR AND DEVELOPED SEVERE VAGINAL PAIN
View 11/14/2008 23 Male White 23 Y/O HAD FOREIGN BODY IB RECTUR, VIBRATOR LOST HIS GRI N THE DEVICE WENT ON UP More ...
View 11/9/2008 46 Female Not stated FB IN RECTUM/46YOF PLACED A VIBRATOR UP HER RECTUM APPROX 1.5 HRS AGO. UNABLE TO More ...
View 10/28/2008 22 Male White PLASTIC VIBRATOR LODGED IN RECTUM FB RECTUM *
View 10/21/2008 30 Female Black PT HAS A VIBRATOR IN VAGINA
View 10/18/2008 44 Male White PT STATES HE WAS PLAYING W/A VIBRATOR AND SMALL PIECE CAME OFF AND WEDG ED IN RE More ...
View 10/14/2008 33 Female Not stated PT WAS AT A PARTY DRINKING, FELL ASLEEP & WOKE UP WITH A VIBRATOR STUCK IN VAGIN More ...
View 10/13/2008 63 Male White PT HAS VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM FOR 10 HRS. DX: FB RECTUM.
View 9/12/2008 42 Male White VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM. DX FB RECTUM
View 8/12/2008 46 Female White PT HAD VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM. DX: RECTAL FB.
View 8/10/2008 214 Female Not stated PT CRAWLED UNDER THE BED OF A HOTEL ROOM AND CAME OUT WITH A VIBRATOR I N MOUTH More ...
View 7/13/2008 26 Female Other PT SUSTAINED FOREIGN BODY TO RECTUM AFTER PLACING A VIBRATOR IN RECTUM*
View 5/4/2008 29 Female Not stated DX FB RETURN: PT WITH A VIBRATOR INSERTED IN RECTUM UNABLE TO RETRIEVE. VIBRATOR More ...
View 4/3/2008 47 Male White PT'S GIRLFRIEND PUT A VIBRATOR INTO HIS RECTUM. DX: RECTAL FB.
View 3/8/2008 37 Female Black PT HAS A VIBRATOR STUCK IN HER VAGINA
View 3/1/2008 32 Female Black ALLERGIC REACTION TO LATEX-EXPOSURE TO LATEX VIBRATOR-DEVELOPED FACIAL SWELLING- More ...
View 2/24/2008 50 Male Black PT, WHO HAD ETOH, WAS PLAYING WITH VIBRATOR & INSERTING IT INTO RECTUM. VIBRATOR More ...
View 1/11/2008 42 Male White VIBRATOR STUCK IN ANUS, DX; COLONIC FB



You know you were going to look that up if I didn't....

[illinifan999]

View 8/10/2008 214 Female Not stated PT CRAWLED UNDER THE BED OF A HOTEL ROOM AND CAME OUT WITH A VIBRATOR I N MOUTH More ...

hahaha

[Lathum]

View 11/18/2008 59 Male White RECTUM FB-DILDO VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM-@ HOME
View 11/14/2008 20 Female Black PT WAS STIMULATING HERSELF WITH A VIBRATOR AND DEVELOPED SEVERE VAGINAL PAIN
View 11/14/2008 23 Male White 23 Y/O HAD FOREIGN BODY IB RECTUR, VIBRATOR LOST HIS GRI N THE DEVICE WENT ON UP More ...
View 11/9/2008 46 Female Not stated FB IN RECTUM/46YOF PLACED A VIBRATOR UP HER RECTUM APPROX 1.5 HRS AGO. UNABLE TO More ...
View 10/28/2008 22 Male White PLASTIC VIBRATOR LODGED IN RECTUM FB RECTUM *
View 10/21/2008 30 Female Black PT HAS A VIBRATOR IN VAGINA
View 10/18/2008 44 Male White PT STATES HE WAS PLAYING W/A VIBRATOR AND SMALL PIECE CAME OFF AND WEDG ED IN RE More ...
View 10/14/2008 33 Female Not stated PT WAS AT A PARTY DRINKING, FELL ASLEEP & WOKE UP WITH A VIBRATOR STUCK IN VAGIN More ...
View 10/13/2008 63 Male White PT HAS VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM FOR 10 HRS. DX: FB RECTUM.
View 9/12/2008 42 Male White VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM. DX FB RECTUM
View 8/12/2008 46 Female White PT HAD VIBRATOR STUCK IN RECTUM. DX: RECTAL FB.
View 8/10/2008 214 Female Not stated PT CRAWLED UNDER THE BED OF A HOTEL ROOM AND CAME OUT WITH A VIBRATOR I N MOUTH More ...
View 7/13/2008 26 Female Other PT SUSTAINED FOREIGN BODY TO RECTUM AFTER PLACING A VIBRATOR IN RECTUM*
View 5/4/2008 29 Female Not stated DX FB RETURN: PT WITH A VIBRATOR INSERTED IN RECTUM UNABLE TO RETRIEVE. VIBRATOR More ...
View 4/3/2008 47 Male White PT'S GIRLFRIEND PUT A VIBRATOR INTO HIS RECTUM. DX: RECTAL FB.
View 3/8/2008 37 Female Black PT HAS A VIBRATOR STUCK IN HER VAGINA
View 3/1/2008 32 Female Black ALLERGIC REACTION TO LATEX-EXPOSURE TO LATEX VIBRATOR-DEVELOPED FACIAL SWELLING- More ...
View 2/24/2008 50 Male Black PT, WHO HAD ETOH, WAS PLAYING WITH VIBRATOR & INSERTING IT INTO RECTUM. VIBRATOR More ...
View 1/11/2008 42 Male White VIBRATOR STUCK IN ANUS, DX; COLONIC FB



You know you were going to look that up if I didn't....

One in a million shot doc, one in a million.

[Dr. Sak]

My friend's wife worked in an ER and she told us a story on how some guy came in and had a flashlight stuck up his butt. They asked him how it got there and he said "i was climbing a ladder and fell off and landed on the flashlight." Who climbs a ladder naked?

[TroyF]

View 8/10/2008 214 Female Not stated PT CRAWLED UNDER THE BED OF A HOTEL ROOM AND CAME OUT WITH A VIBRATOR I N MOUTH More ...

hahaha


From the website:

Children under age 2 are shown by age in months and have a "2" prefix: 223 = 23 months.


That was a 14 month old girl. Turns it from hahaha. . . to a near violent rage.

[Karlifornia]

PT HAS CEREBRAL PALSY WAS DRIVING HIS "POWER CHAIR" AND RAN INTO A META L CABINET SUSTAINED A LOWER LEG CONTUSION

[molson]

PT WAS IN BED AT HOME WHEN THE FAMILY CAT BROUGHT A RODENT IN AND DROPP ED IT IN BED. RODENT BIT PT ON HAND MULTIPLE TIMES. DX ANIMAL BITE

This is why I dont' have a cat (and yes, I looked up rodent).

[Easy Mac]

PT CAUGHT AN 18 LB FISH WHILE FISHING 1.5 WK AGO AND THEN FELL OFF A LADDER. DX: CERVICAL/THORACIC STRAIN.

What does catching a large fish have to do with falling off a ladder.

And yes, I am trying to find a fish in rectum story.

[Dr. Sak]

Oh there has to be a gerbil in the butt one.

[Swaggs]

PT CAUGHT AN 18 LB FISH WHILE FISHING 1.5 WK AGO AND THEN FELL OFF A LADDER. DX: CERVICAL/THORACIC STRAIN.

What does catching a large fish have to do with falling off a ladder.

And yes, I am trying to find a fish in rectum story.

Probably trying to mount the fish on the wall w/ the hope that it will sing old country songs and entertain guests.

[Mustang]

PT CAUGHT AN 18 LB FISH WHILE FISHING 1.5 WK AGO AND THEN FELL OFF A LADDER. DX: CERVICAL/THORACIC STRAIN.

What does catching a large fish have to do with falling off a ladder.


People that like to fish try to work their big catch stories in whenever they can.

[Mustang]

PATIENT HIT HERSELF IN MOUTH WITH GUITAR WHILE PLAYING GUITAR HERO AT HOME, CHIPPED UPPER FRONT TOOTH; DENTAL INJURY

PUT FIVE PENILE RINGS ON PENIS TO MAINTAIN ERECTION CAUSING STRANGULATION INJ; REMOVED UNDER ANESTHESIA

PT HAD BLOOD IN URINE SINCE 0400 W CLOTS: PT USE PENIS PUMP FOR ERECTION LAST X 7D AGO

[JediKooter]

And what's the moral of the story??? Don't stick things up your butt, only stick things up someone elses...

[Dr. Sak]

And what's the moral of the story??? Don't stick things up your butt, only stick things up someone elses...

Like thumbs

[JediKooter]

Like thumbs

Bingo!!

[Mustang]

And what's the moral of the story??? Don't stick things up your butt, only stick things up someone elses...

And 5 cock rings is 1 too many.

[cartman]

PT ASSAULTED BY "HIRED" MIDGET, REMVD TROUT FROM PT RECTUM

this might violate HIPAA

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'm glad nobody has associated "PT" with "Pumpy Tudors" yet.

Edit to add: Although a lot of these make more sense if you imagine it that way.

[Pumpy Tudors]

And from the "What is wrong with people?" department:

<TABLE class=data cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=3 width="100%" align=center border=0 name="maintable"><TBODY><TR class="" onmouseover="this.className = 'rowselected';" onmouseout="this.className = '';" vAlign=top rowid="1"><TD class=borderbody vAlign=center align=middle mywidth="164">12/7/2008 </TD><TD class=borderbody vAlign=center align=middle mywidth="145">218 </TD><TD class=borderbody vAlign=center align=middle mywidth="145">Male </TD><TD class=borderbody vAlign=center align=middle mywidth="145">Not stated </TD><TD class=borderbody vAlign=center align=middle mywidth="158">PT HELPING MOM SHRED PAPERS. GOT R HAND JAMMED IN "7X ROYAL" CROSS CUT PAPER SHR</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Seriously? A woman had her 18-month-old son helping her shred papers? Please don't have kids if you think even for a moment that this shit is a good idea.

[JediKooter]

And 5 cock rings is 1 too many.

Even 4 is pushing it.

[Cringer]

This one cracked me up for some reason.

<table class="data" name="maintable" border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" width="100%" align="center"><tbody><tr class="rowselected" onmouseover="this.className = 'rowselected';" onmouseout="this.className = '';" rowid="21" valign="top"><td class="borderbody" mywidth="164" valign="middle" align="middle">12/31/2008 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">85 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">Female </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">Not stated </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="158" valign="middle" align="middle">TAKING OFF UNDERWEAR AND FELL OVER SPRAINING WRIST</td></tr></tbody></table>

[JonInMiddleGA]

anything involving two-liter bottles used in ways not intended?

(I ask because of a story told to me by an ER security guard many years ago)

[Cringer]

Get off the ass play you sick bastards. There is funny crap even without it you know?

I seem to enjoy some of the simple ones, just picturing them in my head...

<table class="data" name="maintable" border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" width="100%" align="center"><tbody><tr class="rowselected" onmouseover="this.className = 'rowselected';" onmouseout="this.className = 'shade';" rowid="24" valign="top"><td class="borderbody" mywidth="164" valign="middle" align="middle">12/31/2008 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">35 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">Female </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">White </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="158" valign="middle" align="middle">TRAUMATIC IRITIS-PLAYING AIR-HOCKEY PUCK HIT EYE-@ HOME </td></tr></tbody></table><table class="data" name="maintable" border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" width="100%" align="center"><tbody><tr class="shade" onmouseover="this.className = 'rowselected';" onmouseout="this.className = 'shade';" rowid="0" valign="top"><td class="borderbody" mywidth="164" valign="middle" align="middle">12/30/2008 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">10 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">Female </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">Not stated </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="158" valign="middle" align="middle">PT RUNNING-AND JAMMED FLUTE INTO ROOF OF MOUTH-SUPERFICIAL LAC HARD PAL TE </td> </tr><tr class="rowselected" onmouseover="this.className = 'rowselected';" onmouseout="this.className = '';" rowid="1" valign="top"> <td class="borderbody" valign="middle" align="middle">
</td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="164" valign="middle" align="middle">12/30/2008 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">7 </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">Male </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="145" valign="middle" align="middle">White </td> <td class="borderbody" mywidth="158" valign="middle" align="middle">PT RUNNING AT THE PARK AND RAN FACE FIRST INTO A POLE SUSTAINED A LIP LACERATION </td></tr></tbody></table>

[Mustang]

PATIENT LYING AWAKE IN BED AFTER SURFING THE INTERNET, NOTICED WALLS CLOSING IN AROUND HIM,DIFFICULTY BREATHING; ANXIETY ATTACK

PT PRACTICING HER NINJA SKILLS WITH A MARTIAL ARTS SWORD AND SUSTAINED A LACERATION TO LOWER ARM

PATINET AT A PARTY PLAYING EXTREMEM LIMBO, WAS TO JUMP OVER LIMBO STICK , CAUGHT FEET & FELL ON OUTSTRETCHED HAND; ELBOW FX/MIDSHAFT RADIAL FX

[ageofquarrel]

12/26/2008 201 Female Black MOM ACCIDENTALLY MIXED GIN WITH BABY FORMULA. PT DRANK ABOUT 1/2 AN OU NCE. DX

what an asshole.

intoxicated gets pretty great results except for that one

[JediKooter]

PT USING A SCUBA TANK TO FILL UP TIRES ON A WHEELBARROW AND THE AIR HOS E LET LOOSE AND STRUCK LOWER ARM ABRASION ARM

PT DX STAB WOUND TO LT CHEST - S/P STABBED AT RETIREMENT PARTY WITH KIITCHEN KNIFE 8 INCH BLADE AT MOM'S HOUSE.

PT DX FX 0F 3RD,4TH AND 5TH METACARPAL - PT PUNCHED A TELEVISION SET AFTER AN ARGUMENT AT HOME JUST PTA.

PT GETTING A SMALL FROG OFF THE CLOTHESLINE THEN AFTER HANDLING THE FRO G RUBBED FACE THEN BROKE OUT IN A RASH CONTACT DERMATITIS FROM FROG

DX LAC R SH/HTN: W JUGGL'G 3 KNIVES W HE LOST CONTROL & KNIFE STUCK 3IN INTO R DELTOID REGION; PT SMELLS OF ETOH--ADMITS 2 "3 BEERS"

PT CUT FINGER WHEN THREW COMPUTER AT HOME.

[DanGarion]

12/23/2008 59 Male White PT STUCK A SCREW UP IN PENIS AND INTO BLADDER. DX; FB IN PENIS
12/18/2008 56 Male Not stated PT WAS PLAYING AROUND WITH A KNIFE AND SUSTAINED A PENIS LACERATION
12/11/2008 27 Male Not stated FOLLICULITIS: LYMPHADENOPATHY:MSHAVED PUBIC HIAR, CUT LT PENIS, LUMPPS UNDER TES More ...
12/8/2008 18 Male White HAND *** TO PENIS
12/8/2008 21 Male Other PT INSERTED TAB OF *** CAN IN PENIS,PT HAS HISTORY OF F.B. TO MULTIPLEO RIFICES#
11/19/2008 14 Male Black PENIS AB-SHAVING PUBIC HAIR W/A RAZOR-CUT PENIS-TO SURGERY FOR REPAIR-@ HOME
11/10/2008 32 Male White PT WAS PUTTING ON PANTS AND GOT PENIS STUCK IN ZIPPER DX: FB PENIS
11/4/2008 38 Male Not stated URETHAL TRAUMA - 38 YO MALE WAS MASTURABATING LAST NIGHT AND PUSHED A S ODA STRA More ..
11/4/2008 21 Male Other PT SUS FB TO PENIS AFTER GETTING BOTTLE CAP STUCK IN PENIS%
10/10/2008 24 Male Black PT DX LACERATION OF PENIS - S/P PT WAS DANCING W/WOMAN (RUBBING) AND FELT ACUTE More ...
10/7/2008 13 Male White 13 YOM PUT PLASTIC STRING INTO URETHRA LAST NIGHT AND CAN'T GET IT OUT F/B PENIS

Men get their penis hurt by zippers and toilet seats a lot!

How'd you get the beans before the frank!?!?!?

[DanGarion]

This is fun.

12/27/2008 45 Female Black PT WAS HAVING SEX AND STUCK A GLASS BOTTLE IN VAGINA - FB IN VAGINA
12/25/2008 24 Female White PT HAS A PIECE OF A SEX TOY STUCK IN HER VAGINA DX// FB VAGINA REMOVED
12/9/2008 22 Female White PT WAS USING A SEX TOY WITH HUSBAND, THEY PLACED A URETHRAL STIMULATOR UP INTO U
12/9/2008 22 Female White PT WAS USING A SEX TOY WITH HUSBAND, THEY PLACED A URETHRAL STIMULATOR UP INTO U12/4/2008 71 Male White PT PUT A SCROTAL RING ONTO TESTICLES AND HAD SEX NOW UNABLE TO REMOVE THE RING F
11/20/2008 31 Male White PT WAS PLAYING SEX GAMES WITH WIFE HAD BELT AROUND NECK, JUMPED OVER SOMETHING A
11/15/2008 39 Female White 39 YOF HAS SEX TOY STUCK IN RECTUM FOREIGN BODY RECTUM
10/19/2008 29 Female White PT FELL BACKWARDS OFF BED WHILE HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. DX: CLOSED HEAD INJU
10/19/2008 14 Male Black JUMPED OUT 2ND STORY WINDOW X2DAYS, C/O FOOT PAIN, TRYING TO SNEAK OUT OF HOME TO HAVE SEX W/14YO GIRL, ALSO HAD SEX W/19YO X2WKS; FOOT SPRAIN
10/3/2008 21 Female White 21YOF WAS HOME IN THE SHOWER HAVING SEX WITH HER BOYFRIEND,ACCIDENTLY BRUSHED UP

[Noop]

I am looking if they have when I went to the ER for fighting.

[Noop]

Sucks apparently my hospital was not included in this survey or database or whatever.

[k0ruptr]

8/23/2008 27 Male Not stated PT SWALLOWED PLASTIC BAG OF MARIJUANA.

Do you know how fast you were going?

CANDYBARS!

[Maple Leafs]

Sucks apparently my hospital was not included in this survey or database or whatever.
It has to involve a consumer product to be in this database.

[Noop]

It has to involve a consumer product to be in this database.

I am sure I was hit in the head with a bottle for what its worth.

[lighthousekeeper]

12/23/2008 59 Male White PT STUCK A SCREW UP IN PENIS AND INTO BLADDER. DX; FB IN PENIS
12/18/2008 56 Male Not stated PT WAS PLAYING AROUND WITH A KNIFE AND SUSTAINED A PENIS LACERATION
12/11/2008 27 Male Not stated FOLLICULITIS: LYMPHADENOPATHY:MSHAVED PUBIC HIAR, CUT LT PENIS, LUMPPS UNDER TES More ...
12/8/2008 18 Male White HAND *** TO PENIS
12/8/2008 21 Male Other PT INSERTED TAB OF *** CAN IN PENIS,PT HAS HISTORY OF F.B. TO MULTIPLEO RIFICES#
11/19/2008 14 Male Black PENIS AB-SHAVING PUBIC HAIR W/A RAZOR-CUT PENIS-TO SURGERY FOR REPAIR-@ HOME
11/10/2008 32 Male White PT WAS PUTTING ON PANTS AND GOT PENIS STUCK IN ZIPPER DX: FB PENIS
11/4/2008 38 Male Not stated URETHAL TRAUMA - 38 YO MALE WAS MASTURABATING LAST NIGHT AND PUSHED A S ODA STRA More ..
11/4/2008 21 Male Other PT SUS FB TO PENIS AFTER GETTING BOTTLE CAP STUCK IN PENIS%
10/10/2008 24 Male Black PT DX LACERATION OF PENIS - S/P PT WAS DANCING W/WOMAN (RUBBING) AND FELT ACUTE More ...
10/7/2008 13 Male White 13 YOM PUT PLASTIC STRING INTO URETHRA LAST NIGHT AND CAN'T GET IT OUT F/B PENIS

Men get their penis hurt by zippers and toilet seats a lot!

How'd you get the beans before the frank!?!?!?

BAN :mad:

[DanGarion]

BAN :mad:

Not to mention what the frak is a 14 year old child shaving his pubes for?!?!