ZFL Season 3

[revrew]

All the roster changes are in, so we'll be ready to go shortly. Coffee, if you would kindly add to the posts below a standings page, we'll be ready to start games tomorrow.

Season 3 Schedule

Week 1:
LA vs LR
PT vs CH
SA vs KX
FG vs AQ
MW vs BH

Week 2:
LA vs CH
PT vs AQ
SA vs BH
FG vs LR
KX vs MW

Week 3:
LA vs SA
PT vs FG
BH vs AQ
CH vs MW
KX vs LR

Week 4:
LA vs MW
PT vs SA
LR vs AQ
CH vs BH
KX vs FG

Week 5:
LA KX
PT vs BH
SA vs AQ
FG vs MW
CH vs LR

Week 6:
LA vs FG
PT vs KX
SA vs CH
MW vs AQ
LR vs BH

Week 7:
LA vs AQ
PT vs MW
SA vs LR
FG vs BH
CH vs KX

Week 8:
LA vs PT
LR vs MW
SA vs FG
KX vs BH
CH vs AQ

Week 9:
LA vs BH
PT vs LR
SA vs MW
FG vs CH
KX vs AQ

[revrew]

Schlereth's Pre-Season Picks
Knoxville 8-1 "Don't ask me who they will lose a game to, but I figured it too bold to predict an undefeated season. This season might come down to week 8, when the Rednecks face..."

Birmingham 8-1 "That's absolutely right. I'm getting gutsy and predicting a huge leap for the Olympians. You can't watch Nymph run and not get excited about where this team is going. QB Zeus Reloaded can captain this squad, the DE duo of Atlantis and Another Atlantis are going to wreak havoc, and safety Odysseus is a star on the rise. Furthermore, the Maximillion Powers trade was sheer brilliance, and may be just what Birmingham needed to pull an unbelievable upset this year. The Olympians are suddenly a surprise superpower in the ZFL."

Albuquerque 6-3 "Sizzlack is sizzling, and though 'Thumbless' gets big numbers in KX, growth and maturity have made Moe the league's top QB. I'd predict a better record, but there's so many fresh young contenders in the league, I expect some fierce battling for third place."

Chicago 6-3 "Though they've got a rookie at QB now, the Eagles are still one of the league's top teams. Only age is slowing them down."

San Antonio 5-4 "Some of the mighty are falling. San Antonio's offense will still be among the league's best, but their defense is slipping. Perhaps I'm going out on too much of a limb here, but I think San Antonio's legs are getting tired."

Milwaukee 4-5 "The battle of the mid-level teams should be fierce this year. Probably the most unpredictable year in the ZFL so far. But Milwaukee still lacks a few playmakers to bust into the upper echelon."

Portland 4-5 "Portland is still one of the best-rounded teams in the league, but they're stooped in too much mediocrity. And Antonio's jets may be starting to cool. I look for them to battle with Milwaukee again, but a bit lower down the ladder."

Los Angeles 4-5 "The Stars are another team I see moving upward. Their defense is nearly as scary as the Eagles' was the first year. And if L.A. can find some offense, they may well finish higher than this."

Fargo 2-7 "Be patient, Crawfish. Young and building. Give it time."

Little Rock 1-8 "No defense and no quarterback. Ouch. The rest of the league is just too good for those kinds of holes."

[The Afoci]

WOOHOO, 2 wins!!!!

[Katon]

Who's Little Rock meant to beat? The only team near the same level is Fargo, and it doesn't look like Fargo will be able to pull out two wins without beating Little Rock.

[sachmo71]

Yup, losing my DE was a big blow, but MAYBE we can squeak out a few wins here and there. I wonder what a difference a Safety who is not rated F will make for my defense? :D

[Coffee Warlord]

<font size=4>

New ZFL Standings Page (http://www.officepimps.com/zfl/index.php)

</font>

[illinifan999]

Let the REBUILDING BEGIN!!!!!!! And so starts another chapter in the Eagles franchise.....a long and boring chapter.......probably sad too.

[sachmo71]

For those that are following along at home:

Chicago Eagles, managed by illinifan999

San Antonio Margaritas, managed by sachmo71

Portland Sea Biscuits, managed by Coffee Warlord

Albuquerque Isotopes, managed by NevStar

Birmingham Olympians, managed by tucker342

Knoxville Rednecks, managed by digamma

Omaha Fighting Crawfish, managed by The Afoci

Little Rock Slick Willies, managed by Swaggs

L.A. Stars, managed by Marmel

Milwaukee Muscle Men, managed by DolphinFan1


*the above was knicked from the now-dead ZFL website. May it rest in peace. :(

[Coffee Warlord]

And rev has erred badly in picking a losing season for Portland.

We will win. Oh yes.

[revrew]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
And rev has erred badly in picking a losing season for Portland.

We will win. Oh yes.

Rev? What do you mean, "Rev?" I asked Stinky himself to email me his picks, given the info I fed him, and those were his picks. Don't go pinning that on me. Frankly, I've been tellin' him not to knock any team with the Flamebeard for a while, but he's miffed after picking Portland too high last year.

And for the record, I don't have anything to do with Kiper's stuff either. That's all his. After I wipe the hairgel off it.

[tucker342]

Can you say GM of the year? I can!!!!!:D

I'm so ready for this season:D

[Swaggs]

Entertaining trade offers on the top pick. ;)

[Marmel]

Despite what rev thinks, I am going to challenge you once again for that top pick Swaggs.

[revrew]

Season 3, Week 1

"There should be several excellent matchups this week. Many of these teams are battling opponents of relatively equal strength and stature. It should be a decent measuring stick for the rest of the season.

We begin in Chicago, where the Eagles took on the Portland Sea Biscuits. Chicago got the scoring going early as Randy Steele plowed in for 7 behind monster OG Tom Sanders.

But Portland responded in the second with an Antonio run behind newly acquired OT Poseidon.

In the second, however, Chicago DE Jason Pepper planted PT QB Ivan Ivanivich in the backfield for a bone-crushing sack. On the next play, CH MLB Zach Urlacher followed suit by recording a sack after toasting OG Tim the Troll.

The ensuing great field position gave Eagle rookie QB Mike 'Air' Marino a short field to dump it off to fellow rookie, FB Josh Hackenstein for 7.

Ageless wonder, Eagle safety Ajimba Haad gobbled up an INT in the third, and in the fourth, Marino found WR Jet for an icing score. Chicago wins, 21-7."

*****
"When Fargo traveled to A'BBQ, many expected an New Mexico BBQ. But the Crawfish gave NevStar's Isotopes more than they bargained for.

Fargo's sophomore phenom, HB Glutton for Punishment plowed through Albuquerque's mediocre front 6. Glutton topped 100 yards on the day and forced the Isotopes to swallow two touchdowns. Transplant FB Ty Wick, also a second year man, added several key runs and a TD plunge of his own.

But Fargo QB Killer found more than half the field shut down by AQ cover safety, Troy McClure, and this left only 19-year-old WR Tarek open for the ball. It didn't generate much.

On the other hand, Moe Sizzlack found rookie CB Burned Deeperer easy pickins, fryin' the Fish for 349 yards and 3 TDs. The rookie runners, Guy Incognito and Professor Frink each recorded virgin TDs on the day, and the Isotopes win a surprisingly high-scoring affair, 35-21."

*****
"In a much anticipated showcase event, Milwaukee visited Alabama to take on the recharged Olympians. But the game didn't go quite the way some expected.

The Olympian defense stole the show. DTs Hera and Maximillion Powers bottled up Milwaukee's two young runners, holding the pair to fewer than 80 yards combined. Safety Odysseus defended the air, and DEs Atlantis and Another Atlantis sacked Bullseye 5 times combined, effectively shutting out the Muscle Man air attack.

Meanwhile, the Milwaukee defense was on the field nearly all game, worn down by the steady, unstoppable power running of Artemis and Nymph. And even though Milwaukee's He's Not JeeberD effectively shadowed BH WR Revrew all game, QB Zeus Reloaded found WR Apollo for several key first downs, only further wearing down Milwaukee's D.

The Olypians' mechanical offense punched in 3 scores, and the smothering defense preserved a shutout. Birmingham wins, 21-0."

*****
"Defending champ Knoxville traveled down to San Antonio to take on the ever dangerous Margaritas.

San Antonio opened the game by taking KX rookie DT Josiah Jackson to school, pancaking the rook more often than patrons at an IHOP. OG towers of power Lone Star and Da Man looked fearless and fearsome on the day, paving the way for 212 yards and 3 scores on the ground.

Unfortunately for the Margaritas, new acquisitions DE Jimbo Jones and safety He-Man did little to stop an awesome aerial assualt. Knoxville's 'Thumbless' Jackson notched up 400 on the day, distributing the ball evenly to Jim Bob, Samuel, Robby, and Jackson Jackson. Samuel punched one in, too, and Knoxville was just too much for the overwhelmed Margaritas. KX, 35-21."

*****
"The week's biggest yawner turned out to be the week's closest game as Little Rock went west to face L.A.

Little Rock's weakest link, OG Wally Breadenbutter proved an Achilles' heel, getting duped by rookie DE Toby McGwire on every stunt he pulled. 'Spiderman' notched up 4 sacks, making an impressive opening-day bid for defensive rook of the year. The rest of the 'Star Crunch' shut down Little Rock's offense all day, save a third quarter 30-yard TD sprint by the explosive Rajah Saleem.

For the anemic Star offense, however, little good can be said. QB James Earl Jones went 12 for 31, rookie Jerry Seinfeld averaged fewer than 3 yards per carry, and the Stars looked dead. Only an early FB Jet Li TD dive following a LR fumble deep in their own territory put points on the board.

Yet 7 is all L.A. would need to send this game into extra innings, tied at 7-7. Bring on the kickers!

The league outdid itself with opening day overtime, bringing in a full construction crew of dumptrucks, water-tankers, and bridgelayers. In 10 minutes, the entire field was turned into a muddy motorcross track, complete with a few mild jumps for our brave kickers. Two identical motorcycles revved to life, and a 3 lap race was afoot. From the opening gun, it was clear that Little Rock's Mr. Ed's weight advantage gave his Yamaha better traction. L.A.s Little Val Kilmer fell behind quickly.

Most of the race belonged to Mr. Ed, until late on the second lap, when the lead bike spun out and over. While Mr. Ed remounted his metal steed, Little Val caught up! The final lap was a dogfight as Mr. Ed ground it out in the mud and Little Val tried using his lighter frame to make the most of every jump. In a photo finish, an airborne Little Val Kilmer takes the race! L.A. wins, 10-7."

[Marmel]

We won! We won! I don't believe it! *running on the field....errr, dirt bike track*



It feels so great to beat Swaggs twice in one week! :D

[The Afoci]

I only lost by 14! GO ME!

[Coffee Warlord]

As you should be able to see, I've created a site that allows inputing scores, keeping tabs of stats, etc, etc, etc. I'll be adding a few more spiffy things shortly as well. If anyone is interested in volunteering to glean the scores from the last 2 seasons (in week by week format), I'd be most appreciative. I'll even put them in myself, if someone puts together a nice clean list of them.

edit: I just need the weekly scores from season 2 now. I've gleaned all the data I need from season 1.

[tucker342]

Great start to the season:D

It's different having a good team, when you're so used to having terrible teams:D

[JeeberD]

I love overtime... :)

[Coffee Warlord]

Hookay all you ZFL'rs.

I've now put in a section in the new and improved ZFL page to input your players. If you click on any of the teams, their roster will show up. (Mine, Portland is only in right now).

PM me what you want for a password to put players into your roster, I'll set it up, and then you can add your team till your heart's content. Fairly straightfoward editing system. Just don't mess up, 'cause I haven't put in any system to edit/delete except by hand.

[DolphinFan1]

Sigh, We lost again. See, this is why I created ZFL Wrestling. I am in control and I can't lose every week.

[revrew]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
Hookay all you ZFL'rs.

I've now put in a section in the new and improved ZFL page to input your players. If you click on any of the teams, their roster will show up. (Mine, Portland is only in right now).

PM me what you want for a password to put players into your roster, I'll set it up, and then you can add your team till your heart's content. Fairly straightfoward editing system. Just don't mess up, 'cause I haven't put in any system to edit/delete except by hand.

I :heart: Coffee.

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by revrew
I :heart: Coffee.

Then let me win. :)

[tucker342]

great job coffee:D

[Coffee Warlord]

Thanks, folks!

And...all the scores from the previous 2 seasons have now been input into the system, hopefully 100% accurate. So click on your favorite team, and see how they fared from week to week.

Next on the list...I wanna have a place for the awards winners.

[sachmo71]

I guess my thread won't be needed... :(

but great job, Coffee!

I just realized that I'm o-fer against Chicago...and Knoxville. This has GOT to stop!

[Coffee Warlord]

Actually, your thread is gonna save me a buttload of time, sach.

[Swaggs]

Must...Destroy....Marmel...

[revrew]

Week 2 Results

"What a week! Every game was decided either in the fourth quarter or in overtime. 4 of the 5 games, by a touchdown or less! Let's begin in Chicago, where the 1-0 Eagles, a team known for years of tough D, faced the 1-0 L.A. Stars, a team known for their up-and-coming D.

Fans of the bone-jarring hit were thrilled with the action in the Windy City. Chicago's veteran front 6 (the oldest in the ZFL) stonewalled L.A.'s offense, limiting the Stars to 48 yards rushing and less than 200 yards total offense for the game.

But LA's ageless wonder, DT Ed Norton was equally intent to shut down the Eagle running game. Outstanding CH HB Randy Steele only managed 39 yards on 20 carries for the day. And the ear-splitting crunch of MLB Brad Pitt putting the hurt on Steele in the third was highlighted on SportsCenter.

As for passing, rookie QB Mike 'Air' Marino threw 3 INTs on the day, and LA's James Earl Jones' efficiency rating dipped almost as low as his voice.

Going into the fourth, the score was tied at 0-0. With only two minutes left, a Marino to WR Chad Spears pass brought Chicago into scoring position for the first time in the game. 1st and goal from the 9. A screen pass to WR Jet only reached the 7 as LA OLB Ray Romano broke through to drag Jet down. On second and goal, Randy Steele picked up a couple more behind OG Tom Sanders. On third and goal from the five, OG Tom Sanders knocked DT Tom Hanks out of the way, FB Josh Hackenstein put a nice block on MLB Brad Pitt, and HB Randy Steele slipped the grip of CB Paul Sorvino for the game's only TD. Chicago wins, 7-0."

*****
"With Fargo (0-1) at Little Rock (0-1), the defenses did little in a back-and-forth battle that saw 5 lead changes.

Little Rock's Rajah Saleem tallied 188 yards and 2 scores, veteran WR Stuart Rembert caught 13-170 and 2, giving the Slick Willies an impressive 28 points.

Late in the third, Fargo tied it at 28 on a 14-yard pass to youngster WR Tarek. Then in the fourth, Glutton for Punishment landed his third score of the contest, ringing up a tally of 141 yards on the day.

With time running out, a LR QB Dixon Spiller pass was deflected at the line by FG DE Chesty and landed in the hands of rookie safety Safety Boy. Safety Boy took it to the house, giving Fargo a welcome insurance run. Fargo wins this game, the day's most lopsided affair (tongue-in-cheek), 42-28."

*****
"Defending champ Knoxville (1-0) found an unwelcoming crowd at The Gym, as the Muscle Men (0-1) gave the champs all they could handle.

The Rednecks thought they could pound the ball on the ground past MW DTs Sampson and Godzilla, but MW OLB Superman seemed capable of stopping a speeding locomotive today, slicing in to tally 16 tackles on the Jack Backs.

In the air, MW CB He's Not JeeberD discovered why KX WR Jackson Jackson is the man, struggling against the taller wideout and relinquishing 113 yards on the day. Still, Knoxville's mighty offense took a bit of a dip in production, only tallying 21 points going into the fourth.

Milwaukee matched that 21, as FB Bulldozer dozed for a daily total of 88 and 1 on the ground, while QB Bullseye had 304 and 2 in the air.

But with Milwaukee's kicker, Bruce 'I'll kick your butt' Handily, drooling for a shot
at overtime, Redneck FB Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson caught a 5-yard screen and rumbled 35 to the pylon. Knoxville wins it in the fourth, 28-21. Is it just me? Or is Knoxville struggling a bit, winning by margins just a bit too close for comfort?"

*****
"How good is 1-0 Birmingham? The 0-1 Margaritas were determined to find out.

SA DE All Pro pummelled the Olympian O-line, slanting, swimming, and stunting for 3.5 sacks on the day. MLB Ray Lewis added 2.5 of his own, and young Zeus Reloaded was in serious peril.

But B'ham's Atlantis and Another Atlantis, the sack-producing bash brothers of the ZFL, did likewise to Margarita QB Handoff King. After 4 quick flattenings, Handoff did nothing else but that for the rest of the game. And with Zeus 'ZR' Reloaded struggling to stay on his feet as well, the game came down to the running backs.

San Antonio's Mutt and Metalhead found plenty of room to rumble behind awesome OGs Lone Star and Da Man, and come to think of it, OTs Lard Ass and Not Quite As Chunky did some road-grading of their own. Mutt ran for 122 and 2 on the day. Metalhead for 108 and 1.

Birmingham, however, showed an equally formidable OG pair in Dionysus and Another Troy. For the first time in ZFL history, 4 runners each had 100-yard games. Artemis ran for 101 and 1, while the amazing Nymph totalled 168 and 2.

Fine SA DT Sack U said afterwards, 'I swear I had Nymph in my arms a dozen times today, only to have the man rip himself free. Holy #%%@*, do my arms hurt.'

But at the end of 4, the runners were the only ones to score, and the board read 21-21. Bring on the kickers!

On a platform at center stage, San Antonio's Eater of Sandwiches was given $100 and a camera focused on his face. B'ham's LeBron James was given the same. The two then had 10 minutes to either accumulate the most dough or bankrupt the other in a $10 ante game of 5-card draw.

For the first 4 minutes, the two played conservatively, discerning one another's style. Eater of Sandwiches held a slight advantage in the cash.

Then, without warning, LeBron placed an unusually high bet. The audience held their breath as Eater looked down at three kings. Eater saw LeBron's 25 and raised him 5. LeBron saw the 5 and raised another 40. Holy cow!

'9 times out of 10, a guy that pulls that is bluffing,' said Eater of Sandwiches afterwards, 'I'd take that bet with three kings every time.'

Unfortunately, it didn't work out this time, as LeBron's jacks over nines full house took the pot, all of Eater of Sandwich's dough, and the game. The crowd went nuts as LeBron's bluff turned out to be no bluff at all; B'ham wins, 24-21."

*****
"In the ESPN2 televised game of the week, (1-0) Albuquerque traveled to (0-1) Portland. Viewers would not be disappointed.

Each team showed exceptional balance, both on offense and defense. Portland's Ivan Ivanivich threw 6-85 to rookie Khan Ogadai and 8-111 to Manfred von Richthofen. HB Antonio De La Tonio ran at a good clip, amassing 95 yards on 21 carries.

For Albuquerque, QB Sizzlack tossed 9-91 to WR Carl Carlsson, 7-95 to WR The Cheat, and 6-55 to HB Guy Incognito. Meanwhile, Incognito ran for 84.

Going into the fourth, the two teams were tied 14 a piece. In the final quarter, AQ struck first, a 13 yard fade to the corner by WR The Cheat.

Portland went 3 and out, but on AQ's next possession, PT DT Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III hit AQ FB Professor Frink in the middle of a handoff, and MLB Sectoid Commander picked up the fumble.

A quick strike to WR Manfred von Richthofen, followed by an Antonio De La Tonio TD plunge tied it at 21.

ABB'Q's next possession failed to score, but when PT's QB Ivan Ivanivich stepped back to hit rookie WR Khan Ogadai, the ball found AQ safety Troy McClure instead. 3 plays later, Moe Sizzlack hit HB Guy Incognito for seven more.

The final quarter saw 2 turnovers and 3 touchdowns, and Albuquerque takes an exciting finish, 28-21."


Week 3 on Monday, most likely

[sachmo71]

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. So in the next couple of year, will the league achieve true parity?

[Marmel]

Almost beat Chicago. Maybe my team will win a few more along the way.

[Coffee Warlord]

We.

Need.

A quarterback.

[illinifan999]

Los Angeles always gives Chicago tough games. Now with their D getting so good, watch out. Go LA!!! Errr I mean Chicago!!!

[Coffee Warlord]

Okay, I've added support for All-ZFL teams now. They'll show up under your team details, once you've added your team. (And in another page, coming soon.) So now you have some added incentive to actually put your players into the system, since if you don't, they won't show up in the record books. So ha! :)

And shortly, there will be a new flag when adding players, to signify if your guys has since retired/been axed. I realized I needed to put that in to make sure retired stars get listed in the all pro/record holder database.

[tucker342]

Wow, close game... good thing I won...

[sachmo71]

Football! Football!

[revrew]

Week 3 Results

"Unlike last week's down-to-the-wire action, this week saw a series of blowouts. Let's begin with the worst of which:

The defending champs, Knoxville (2-0) faced the downtrodden Slick Willies (0-2), in a game that saw most Little Rock fans leave by halftime.

Knoxville's 'Thumbless' Jackson threw 3 TD passes, one to each of his receivers, Jackson Jackson, Jim Bob Jackson, and reserve Michael Jackson, in the first half. Little Rock's CB Scott Glass looked like a broken man, sobbing on the field. Rookie reserve Tommy 'TNT' Toothpick would finish the game at CB.

In the second half, Knoxville mercifully turned to the running game, but the Jack Backs, apparently, don't know the meaning of the word 'mercy'. Robby ran for 185 and 1 in the second half alone, and Samuel tacked on 75 and 3.

Little Rock's star RB Rajah Saleem attempted to stem the tide by rushing for 106 and 1, but his team's inability to get it going in the air made his efforts futile. Again. Knoxville gets nasty, trashing Little Rock, 49-7."

*****
"San Antonio (0-2) found the weak spot in (1-1) L.A.s 'Star Crunch,' and they abused it relentlessly. San Antonio's awesome offensive line doubled LA DT Tom Hanks, blasting the poor young man off the line, and then followed with a FB Metalhead block on OLB Ray Romano. The strategy was devastating.

'I am $^#%#ing $^%$'ed off!' Said LA MLB Brad Pitt after the game. 'They ran that same $&#^#*# play 30 times, and we couldn't do jack to stop it. Looked like a $#&#*$ing high school game!'

So do the numbers. San Antonio's HB Mutt carried the ball 37 times for 220 yards, a new ZFL record. He also added 3 TDs.

Meahwhile San Antonio's DT Sack U and DE All Pro polished off the LA aerial attack with a combined 5 sacks. L.A. had possession of the ball for only 19 of the game's 60 minutes, as the Margaritas flexed their muscles, winning 21-0."

*****
"Birmingham (2-0) vs. Albuquerque (2-0) was supposed to be a premier matchup, a battle of heavyweights. But the game didn't reflect that.

Like San Antonio, Birmingham came out with a heavy fist and dominated both the line of scrimmage and the clock. Albuquerque barely got to touch the ball as the Olympians gave the ball first to Artemis, then to Nymph, then to Artemis, then to Nymph. The powerful runners totalled more than 200 combined yards.

Meanwhile, AQ QB Moe Sizzlack spent most of the game running for his life as BH DEs Atlantis and Another Atlantis stormed in from the corners, and the occasional OLB Arkantos blitz harried the normally composed QB. BH safety Odysseus came away with 2 INTs on the day.

Going into the fourth, the score was BH 21, AQ 0. Sizzlack redeemed the day in part with a solid 4th quarter drive, finally breaking the plane with a TD pass to WR The Cheat. But it was too little, too late, as Birmingham wins 21-7. Um...somebody can beat the Olympians...right?"

*****
"Portland (0-2) finally got a break in their schedule when they faced (1-1) Fargo. The 'Fish didn't put up near the fight that the Sea Biscuits faced in Chicago and Albuquerque.

Fargo's DT Waste of a Jersey simply couldn't handle PT OG Erik Flamebeard, and Antonio De La Tonio found a familiar running lane behind the Norman (y'know of Neither here NOR there), gaining 161 yards and 3 scores.

Even Portland's much-maligned QB, Ivan Ivanivich, found some room to work, especially with FG CB Burned Deeperer working the secondary. WR Manfred von Richthofen caught 11-133 and 2 on the day.

For Fargo, only the running game seemed to be in operation as HB Glutton for Punishment found the endzone behind OT Stud, and Ty Wick rambled in behind OG Matt.

Portland wins, 35-14."

*****
"So far, ESPN2 has had good luck picking the games, as the channel hosted the week's only close one, Chicago (2-0) vs. Milwaukee (0-2).

Don't let the disparity in records fool you, these are both solid teams. Chicago found out right away that the Muscle Man defense is serious, giving up a pair of 1st quarter turnovers: a fumble recovered by rookie safety Brock 'Please don't throw the ball my way' Marion, and an INT by He's Not Jeeber D.

But neither turnover resulted in points as the Eagle D held secure.

Chicago's QB Mike 'Air' Marino gave up another turnover in the thir when MW DE Rocky blasted him from the blindside, and DT Godzilla fell on it. But again, solid CH linebacker play from Zach Urlacher and Ray Brown prevented Milwaukee from cracking the endzone.

At the end of the third, Chicago DT Victor Green batted the ball out of the hands of MW QB Bullseye, and DE Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah scooped it up. Ahmad's run the other way was almost as impressive as CB Deniable "Get out of my house" Cook's block on a chasing MW WR Conan. The block enabled Mohammed-Abdullah to take the fumble 52 yards to paydirt, and the defensive score would be the only score. Chicago wins, 7-0.

Chin up, Milwaukee, the schedule gets easier from here."

[sachmo71]

I won! Yeah! Sorry, Marm. :(

[Marmel]

Damn. I guess we got our hopes up after being .500 on the season for the first time ever. :(

[DolphinFan1]

Originally posted by revrew
Week 3 Results


*****
"So far, ESPN2 has had good luck picking the games, as the channel hosted the week's only close one, Chicago (2-0) vs. Milwaukee (0-2).

Don't let the disparity in records fool you, these are both solid teams. Chicago found out right away that the Muscle Man defense is serious, giving up a pair of 1st quarter turnovers: a fumble recovered by rookie safety Brock 'Please don't throw the ball my way' Marion, and an INT by He's Not Jeeber D.

But neither turnover resulted in points as the Eagle D held secure.

Chicago's QB Mike 'Air' Marino gave up another turnover in the thir when MW DE Rocky blasted him from the blindside, and DT Godzilla fell on it. But again, solid CH linebacker play from Zach Urlacher and Ray Brown prevented Milwaukee from cracking the endzone.

At the end of the third, Chicago DT Victor Green batted the ball out of the hands of MW QB Bullseye, and DE Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah scooped it up. Ahmad's run the other way was almost as impressive as CB Deniable "Get out of my house" Cook's block on a chasing MW WR Conan. The block enabled Mohammed-Abdullah to take the fumble 52 yards to paydirt, and the defensive score would be the only score. Chicago wins, 7-0.

Chin up, Milwaukee, the schedule gets easier from here."

At least we only gave up 7 points. And it wasn't by our defense.

[Swaggs]

I think the Muscle Men's record is in danger!

[DolphinFan1]

Originally posted by Swaggs
I think the Muscle Men's record is in danger!

By who? We are 0-3 so maybe I will tie myself.:)

[tucker342]

Another good win! 2nd best defence, not bad!:D

[revrew]

Week 4 results
"The ZFL teams discovered their character this week. KX and AQ are offensive superpowers, LA and MW can play some D, and with Chicago testing Birmingham, we find out just how good the Olympians are. As for San Antonio, don't count the aging vets out yet!

We begin in Milwaukee, where all the muscles flexed in The Gym were on the defensive side of the ball.

The LA Stars (1-2) alerted Bullseye, the poor quarterback of the Milwaukee Muscle Men (0-3) that no passing would be allowed today. DE Robert DeNiro crushed Bullseye twice early. The Muscle Men then moved OT King Kong over to slow down DeNiro only to watch "SpiderMan" tear apart OT Big Foot. DeNiro and McGwire had a combined 5 sacks by halftime, and they added 2 more in the second. Throw in the ZFL's all-time sack leader, DT Ed Norton's stops, and one for MLB Brad Pitt, and QB Bullseye was sacked more often than he completed a pass on the day.

Milwuakee's RBs did manage to total 100 yards in the game, but that's well down from their average.

LA DE Toby McGwire looks like a strong defensive rookie of the year candidate, but don't count out MW CB He's not JeeberD. The sprightly youngster recorded 2 picks today.

Without a passing game, LA turned to the run. But outstanding young MW backers Zach Thomas and Superman obliterated anyone who crossed the line. At the end of four, the score was knotted at 0-0.

Bring on the kickers! Milwaukee's Bruce "I'll kick your butt" Handily got a standing O from the fans at The Gym, when he bounced on to the field. He got a standing O when he threw the discus farther than LA's Little Val Kilmer. He got another when he threw the Hammer farther. He got another when he out-longjumped...oh, you get the picture. The crowd-favorite tallied up more points in a ZFL version of a mini-decathlon, thus scoring the win for Milwaukee, 3-0."

*****
"In a clash of familiar foes, San Antonio (1-2) faced Antonio de La Tonio's Portland Sea Biscuits (1-2).

As for the ZFL's all-time leading rusher, Antonio de La Tonio had a difficult day. SA MLB Ray Lewis seemed to find the Italion stallion wherever he went, limiting Antonio to 67 yards and one touchdown.

Portland's defense, however, played a roller coaster game against San Anotonio's RBs, Mutt and Metalhead. Portland's Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III and Captain Bipto stopped San Antonio on one play, only to have LBs Sectoid Commander and Kang miss a tackle on the next play, giving up a 12 yard gain.

By the end of the contest, the damage was done, and San Antonio's running game tallied three scores and a win for the Margaritas, 21-7."

*****
"Our league's big hitters both beat up the bottom of the barrell, as AQ (2-1) took out Little Rock (0-3), and KX (3-0) slammed Fargo (1-2).

In Albuquerque, it was the 'Kid Gruesome' show, as Moe Sizzlack tossed up 414 yards and 4 touchdowns. The rookie Isotope backs added a TD run apiece, and OLB Cletus 'The Slack Jawed' Yokel ran a fumble return back, giving AQ 49 points!

For Little Rock, Rajah Saleem again had a fine, futile game, as he got two touchdowns and 201 yards, including impressive sprints of 48 and 77 yards. Lookin' a bit like Barry Sanders, Saleem's efforts fall short again, however, as AQ wins 49-14."

*****
Fargo put up more of a fight, but when Knoxville ALSO saw fit to put up 49, the Crawfish were roasted.

Knoxville's Jack Backs, Robby 'Action' Jackson and Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson, totaled 4 tuddies in the game, 'Thumbless' tacked on two more to WR Jackson Jackson, and CB Billy Ray took an INT in for one more.

Fargo, while getting thoroughly whipped, nonetheless managed some impressive plays. An OG Eric block sprung HB Glutton for Punishment TD run of 33 yards, and FB Ty Wick dazzled the crowd with a 12-yard TD run that changed direction 3 times and broke better than 5 tackles before landing the FB in the endzone. QB Killer also tossed a tuddy to WR Shane, but even 28 points was way short of a victory for Fargo, as KX wins, 49-28."

*****
"Too bad ESPN2 didn't opt to broadcast this week's matchup between the ZFL inaugural season champs, the (3-0) Chicago Eagles and this year's champs???, the (3-0) Birmingham Olympians. They missed a great game.

Birmingham's FB Nymph (an early and probable candidate for offensive rook of the year), started the scoring by busting loose from a MLB Zach Urlacher tackle and diving 6 yards into the endzone.

Before the half, Chicago tied it up when HB Randy Steele followed an OG Tom Sanders block and a nice corner seal by WR Chad Spears for 7.

In the third period, the ZFL's two impressive rookie QBs (Mike 'Air' Marino and Zeus 'ZR' Reloaded) tried to duke it out, but an INT by Eagle safety Ajimba Haad and a copycat INT by BH safety Odysseus frustrated the aerial assaults.

At the end of the third, a screen to BH WR Revrew turned into 51 yards, before the vet WR was dragged down by vet CH safety Ajimba 'Where on the field aren't I?' Haad. But BH RB Artemis punched it in the remaining 3 yards, and the Olympians led, 14-7.

When the Eagles failed to score on 4th and goal from the 4 (BH DT Hera wrapped up HB Randy Steele before he could cut outside), the Olympians began a long, clock-eating drive. 16 plays and 96 yards later, BH RB Artemis punched in a score that put the nail in the coffin. Birmingham wins and impressive battle, 21-7. Look out for week 8, Knoxville. There's a new contender in town!"

[Swaggs]

Holding Knoxville under 50 was a moral victory.

[Marmel]

Well, that really sucked.

[DolphinFan1]

Originally posted by revrew
Week 4 results

Bring on the kickers! Milwaukee's Bruce "I'll kick your butt" Handily got a standing O from the fans at The Gym, when he bounced on to the field. He got a standing O when he threw the discus farther than LA's Little Val Kilmer. He got another when he threw the Hammer farther. He got another when he out-longjumped...oh, you get the picture. The crowd-favorite tallied up more points in a ZFL version of a mini-decathlon, thus scoring the win for Milwaukee, 3-0."



I'm so glad I traded up to draft that kicker. Thanks Digamma. :D

[Coffee Warlord]

Portland truly dislikes being at the bottom of the barrel.

Erik may have to smash.

[tucker342]

4-0!!! 'nuff said!:D

[revrew]

Week 5 results

"The season is only half over, but the race for the title appears to be boiling down to a two-horse race. In this week's early game, Knoxville blanked their opponent, 21-0. In the afternoon, Birmingham did the same, again, by 21-0. You begin to get the feeling that these two schoolyard bullies are eying each other from across the hall. You'll have to wait until week 8 to "take this outside," gentlemen. But until then...let's get on with the games.

Could the L.A. Star (1-3) defense shut down the poweful Knoxville (4-0) offense? Well, they tried.

In reality, L.A. Secondarymen Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino did a better job than anyone has in two seasons at stopping KX WR Jackson Jackson. JJ was held to fewer than 100 yards and only one TD. Excellent pressure from rookie sensation DE Toby McGwire helped frustrate 'Thumbless' too.

But the Rednecks just have way too many weapons. L.A. couldn't shut down BOTH JJ and the Jack Backs, giving up 2 TDs to Robby 'Action' Jackson.

As for the nonexistent L.A. Offense, Knoxville's DT Uncle Jesse Jackson clogged up the middle, and DEs Cletus and Robert E. frazzled the passing game with several blitz/drop back coverages. Knoxville takes an easy one, 21-0."

*****
"The Birmingham Olympians (4-0) demonstrated a remarkably balanced attack on both sides of the ball in dispatching the Portland Sea Biscuits (1-3). PT's Antonio De La Tonio couldn't find anywhere to run with BH DTs Hera and Maximillion Powers clogging up the middle. And QB Ivan Ivanivich found little time to operate under the constant harassment of BH DEs Atlantis and Another Atlantis.

Meanwhile, the Olympian offense effeciently mixed up passing to WR Revrew (12-119-0), pounding with FB Nymph (20-84-2), and sprinting with HB Artemis (17-91-1). Birmingham was just way too solid, way too unstoppable today, grinding down the Sea Biscuits, 21-0."

****
"Though Fargo's record (1-3) doesn't show it, the Crawfish have made big strides this year, and they showed it again against underachieving Milwaukee (1-3).

Fargo's outstanding HB Glutton for Punishment began the scoring with a 3-yard plunge off young OT Stud. Glutton followed it up in the third with another TD, this time behind all-star OG Matt. Glutton gobbled up 143 yards in the game.

Milwaukee established a more balanced attack, alternating the pass and run, much to Fargo's dismay. Bullseye found WR Conan in the first half, and FB Bulldozer in the second, scoring 2 TDs in the air. Bulldozer also ran one in with less than a minute to go in the third, tying the contest at 21-21.

A bone-crushing sack in the fourth by DE Rocky appeared as though it might knock FG QB Killer out of the game, but the tough veteran stood up and fired a first down to WR Shane on the next play. Unfortunately, the next pass found the arms of the deceptive rookie CB He's not JeeberD, and Milwaukee began the march the other way. A Ricky 'The Answer' Williams TD run capped the drive, and the game, giving Milwaukee the win in a squeeker, 28-21."

*****
"Rajah Saleem must be one resilient dude. That, or on medication to prevent depression. Little Rock (0-4) put the game on their star RB's shoulders, and he did well against the tough Chicago (3-1) defense. Unfortunately, the rest of the team did not.

LR WR Carlton Bender dropped a pass into the waiting arms of CH safety Ajimba Haad, FB Brian Dozer dropped a fumble into the waiting arms of CH DT Marshall Williams, and Little Rock dropped the game in Chicago's lap.

The Eagles took advantage of the opportunities, capitalizing on two Randy Steele TD plunges and a pair of WR Jet TD receptions. QB Mike 'Air' Marino had his best game as a rookie, throwing 23-32-301-2-0. Chicago wins an easy one, 28-7."

*****
"ESPN2 showed good judgment picking the televised game of the week. The San Antonio (2-2) vs. Albuquerque (3-1) game may pit the best two teams outside of Dixieland against one another. The Margaritas and Isotopes are both hoping to get ahead of Chicago and get their shot at Knoxville. But before that, they have to take on each other. The loser of this matchup is likely all but elimated from championship contention.

Right away, it became apparent that these two teams have radically different styles. In San Antonio, the 'Southern Screen' is a long distant memory, as Mutt and Metalhead run the show from the ground. Albuquerque, meanwhile, is governed from the air by Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack. Neither team bothered presenting a balanced attack to the other.

San Antonio's DT Sack U and MLB Ray Lewis shut down the Isotope running game, but secondarymen He-Man and Deflector weren't as fortunate against the air attack. The Margaritas gave up a monster day to Sizzlak, who tallied records in completions and attempts (39 for 52).

And while superstar safety Troy McClure dominated the airwaves, the ABB'Q front six were hapless against M&M (Mutt and Metalhead). M&M tallied 288 yards and 4 touchdowns between them.

The best offensive line in football looked like it today, powering M&M to just too much Margarita for the Isotopes. San Antonio wins, 28-21."

[Marmel]

This really sucks. :(

[Coffee Warlord]

Yep. From league powerhouse to league joke.

Today, Portland announces the firing of head coach Bill Lee.

He will be replaced by the recently ressurrected Radioman Boris.

[DolphinFan1]

Our 1st winning streak ever. Even though it's only 2 in a row. At least we are improving. :)

[tucker342]

5-0. Not bad, not bad

[revrew]

Week 6 Results:
"The league witnessed some real nail biters this week, as three of our games went in to overtime, and a fourth was decided by only one score.

Let's begin, however, with a game that wasn't anywhere near close. Little Rock (0-5) was trounced again, this time by one of the league's best, 5-0 Birmingham.

Little Rock got a decent game out of RB Rajah Saleem and OTs Renaldo Buckler and Keith 'Slap' Slapinski, who completely shut down BH's potent DEs Atlantis and Another Atlantis. It was the first time this season that the young DE pain was prevented from tallying a sack.

The rest of the Birmingham squad, especially the offense, played like men among boys. QB 'ZR' threw for 320 and 3. WR Revrew caught 145 and 2. FB Nymph gained 121 yards on the ground, 2 scores by land, and 1 by air. The end result of the contest was just ugly, BH 49-7."

*****
"The only other contest to avoid a tie was the Fargo (1-5) vs. L.A. (1-5) contest.

For Fargo, young HB Glutton for Punishment finally found a defense that wouldn't put up with his crazy-leggin'. L.A.'s DT Ed Norton, MLB Brad Pitt, and DE Robert DeNiro put the "punishment" in Glutton for Punsishment, holding the young back to 51 yards on 25 carries.

But Fargo's DT The Defense and MLB Still Alive? dished out some punishment as well, holding rookie RB Jerry Seinfeld to a mere 62 yards on 23 carries. Fargo's rookie safety, Safety Boy picked off a pair as L.A.'s QB James Earl Jones continues to watch his record career-low QB rating drop off the charts.

One of those INTs led to a FG FB Ty Wick 2-yard TD run behind OG Matt, and that TD would be all Fargo needed to put away the miserable L.A. Offense. Fargo, 7-0."

*****
"ESPN2 Broadcast an epic battle between first-season foes, San Antonio (3-2) and Chicago (4-1).

San Antonio's M&M struck first, a Metalhead TD Behind an OG Da Man pancake.

Chicago struck back quickly, as former Margarita, WR Jet, turned a 3-yard screen to a 63-yard TD.

In the second, M&M continued to pound away behind the incredible San Antonio O-line, knocking in another 7 before the half.

On their first possession of the third, Chicago's Mike 'Air' Marino scrambled for 6 on a crucial 3rd and 5, setting up an eventual tieing score by HB Randy Steele.

Chicago took their first lead in the fourth, when Marino again found WR Jet, pushing the score up, 21-14.

But Chicago's front six grew tired from the constant beating, and the oldest D in the ZFL showed it, giving away the tieing score to SA HB Mutt. At the gun, it was 21-21. Bring on the kickers!

San Antonio's Eater of Sandwiches, however, seemed groggy from the start. Was he, perhaps, a bit hungover? Regardless, Chicago's Little Foot seemed surer of foot in a tug-of-war over a 300-gallon Margarita. Eater looked strangely relieved when he splashed into the brew, but his G.M. did not, as Chicago takes the win, 24-21."

*****
"Rookie CB sensation He's Not JeeberD finally got taken to school when the Albuquerque Isotopes (3-2) paid a visit to Milwaukee (2-3). ABB'Qs Moe Sizzlack roasted the rook, lighting it up for 320 yards and a pair.

Unfortunately for the Isotopes, however, Milwaukee's FB phenom Bulldozer proved too quick for AQ MLB Lenny and too fast for OLB Cletus Yokel. The Isotopes missed more tackles than a bass fisherman in a capsized boat.

Late in the fourth, Milwaukee held the advantage, 21-14. But AQ OG Clancy Wiggum pulled a sweep around brother OT Ralph Wiggum, and AQ HB Guy Incognito found enough running room to bolt 22 yards to paydirt. At the end of regulation, the score stood 21-21. Bring on the kickers!

Once again, Muscle Man Bruce 'I'll kick your butt' Handily enjoyed a rowdy reception from the home fans, and AQ's Duff Man said later, 'Cripes! I've never seen anything like it.'

As the crowd chanted, 'Bruce, Bruce, Bruce,' Handily took to the overhead rings like an orangutan. Starting from two, opposing 10-foot platforms, each warrior raced across a set of swinging hand rings in an attempt to dislodge the other and send his opponent to the mat (perhaps you've seen this on 'American Gladiator'?). The chanting rhythm of the crowd seemed to help Handily, as he hopped from ring to ring in perfect balance, quickly dislodging his foe to the ground. The match was so quick, that Handily honored a rematch. The second battle took even less time, and the JumboTron read, 'Bruce Handily, Lord of the Rings!' The crowd went nuts and Milwaukee wins, 24-21.

Duff Man said later, 'The crowd was cheering for a *$&#$^#&# monkey!'

Ooh. Are them fightin' words?"
*****
"Somebody ticked off Portland's (1-4) Flamebeard. You remember the old 'Incredible Hulk' quote, 'You wouldn't like me when I'm angry'? Knoxville (5-0) found out just how ugly the Norman can get.

The star OG slapped KX rookie DT Josiah Jackson silly, paving the way for a memorable game by the old stallion, Antonio De La Tonio. Tonio powered for TDs in the first, third, and fourth, all of them behind the Flamebeard.

Now, you know the champs ain't gonna put up with that. Knoxville's mighty OG Fort Sumter Jackson decided anything Flamebeard can do, I can do better! He pummelled PT Rookie DT Captain Bipto, and Knoxville's Jack Back's ran behind him for 172 and 2.

KX WR Jackson Jackson flashed the skilz in the fourth, burning CB Kosh for a pair of quick strikes, and it appeared as though Knoxville had weathered the Flamebeard storm, thanks to their superstar wideout.

But on their last possession, PT OT Lothar von Richthofen looked at QB Ivan Ivanivich and said, "Meiner Bruder braucht das Ball!" Ivan didn't understand a word, but Lothar grabbed Ivan by the helmet and turned his head toward WR Manfred von Richthofen. 'Das Ball! Jetzt, Hund!'

Ivan got the message. In the final drive of regulation, Manfred von Richthofen caught 4 passes for 51 yards and the tieing score. Bring on the kickers!

Portland's Vladimir von Vladimir looked pumped to pull the Portland upset, until he saw the weapons he would use to battle Knoxville's Eli Manning. 'Numb nucks? Nunchucks? Whatever you call 'em,' he said afterwards, 'what the heck was I supposed to do with those things?' Apparently, Eli Manning was more skilled in the martial arts. Manning screamed some strange words (made even stranger by the fact that the words didn't match the movement of Manning's lips. What is he? Some kind of ventriloquist?), and three quick chucks to the midsection, and one around the ankles fell Vladimir. In a flash, Manning had his knee on Vladimir's chest, yelling something about 'Mothra'. That is a seriously messed up dude. But he won the match, and Knoxville stays undefeated with a 31-28 win."

[Marmel]

and rev thought i would go 4-5.


i cant even beat Fargo. No offense The Afoci.

[revrew]

Bad news gentlemen

It's good news for me, but not for y'all. Next week I'm going to be at a writer's conference in Green Lake, Wisconsin. But I'll have no access to FOF or my ZFL records. Which means...one week without ZFL.

I'll try to get week 7's results in tomorrow, but this means you'll have to wait for week 8. Oh, wait. Is that the week Knoxville plays Birmingham? Oh, shucks. Guess we'll just have to live with the suspense.

Back in action on Monday, July 7!

[revrew]

Originally posted by Marmel
and rev thought i would go 4-5.

No, Schlereth thought you would go 4-5. I had you picked at 3-6. :)

[sachmo71]

Rev=mean

[JAG]

It seems like the kickers in the ZFL are not aptly named...very little kicking involved in the crowd-pleasing gladiator duels.

[tucker342]

Now I have to wait to beat Knoxville, I mean play Knoxville for a whole week??? Oh well, have fun in Wisconsin:)

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Marmel
and rev thought i would go 4-5.


i cant even beat Fargo. No offense The Afoci.

Give me six or seven more seasons and I will dominate. That is if everyone gives up but me btw.

[sachmo71]

I would have liked to have beaten Chicago. Maybe next year. :(

[digamma]

Oh man. What a week.
The Necks certainly don't seem to be priming themselves for the week 8 match-up.

[revrew]

"Week 7 has a couple of interesting matchups. Portland vs. Milwaukee is an interesting battle of two similarly matched squads, but of couse, all eyes are on the Duece to watch Chicago/Knoxville. At 5-1, the Eagles are the last team still knocking on the door of the Knoxville/Birmingham party. A win for Chicago would give the Eagles a great shot at the title. A loss, however, makes the title party exclusive. Chicago would be eliminated, leaving only the Rednecks and Olympians at the top of the heap.

We'll begin, however, in Fargo where the Crawfish (2-4) were served up to the Olympians (6-0) for the slaughtering.

Once again, a dominant defensive line put the brakes on FG HB Glutton for Punishment, as the sophomore struggled to find any running room. Meanwhile, BH DT Hera pressured FG QB Killer into too many mistakes. When 19-yr-old rookie WR Tarek deflected a pass into the hands of BH safety Odysseus on two consecutive possessions, the Fish's air attack deflated.

As for Birmingham, Zeus 'ZR' Reloaded continued his impressive recent growth at the QB spot, tossing an efficient 19-25-246-2-0. WR Revrew only caught 3 of those passes, but 2 were for TDs.

Meanwhile, FB Nymph plowed the way for BH HB Artemis to find paydirt 3 times, and BH rolls easily, 42-7."

*****
"When 1-5 L.A. visited 3-3 Albuqueque, many figured it for another ABB'Q. Unfortunately for the Isotopes, the 'Star Crunch' was in full force, prepared to do a little barbeque of their own.

AQ OG Barney Gumble proved too slow on the take today as L.A. rookie phenom, DE Toby McGwire stunted around his own DT Ed Norton, right past the bumbling Gumble. McGwire pressured AQ QB Moe Sizzlack 4 times, knocked him down 4 times, and sacked him twice. A couple of those pressures led to LA safety Ray Liotta INTs.

Meanwhile, LA MLB Brad Pitt took AQ FB Professor Frink to school, shedding Frink's blocks like water off a duck's back and crashing into AQ HB Guy Incognito. Pitt totalled 14 tackles on the day, and Incognito was held to fewer than 50 yards.

The defensive onslaught was too much for the Isotopes to handle. Even Sizzlack looked frazzled, finishing with his worst game of the season. When rookie LA HB Jerry Seinfeld ran off-tackle Freddie Prinze, Jr. for a 7-yard score, it proved the only significant 7 of the day. LA wins the upset, 7-0."

*****
"San Antonio's M&M running combo has torn up the league all year. Much of the same was expected when the Margaritas (3-3) visited the woeful Slick Willies (0-6). Unfortunately for the Willies, San Antonio's passing game decided to show up, too.

San Antonio's Handoff King found occassion to complete a pair of TD passes, one to vet WR Streak and one to youngster Primetime. San Antonio's fearsome O-line butchered poor Little Rock, carving up the Willies for 4 TDs on the ground.

Meanwhile, San Antonio's DT Sack U tormented Little Rock's Dixon Spiller, piledriving the QB on numerous occasions. MLB Ray Lewis took away the middle of the field, and only a Rajah Saleem sweep around tackle Renaldo Buckler managed to find the endzone. San Antonio wins an easy one, 42-7."

*****
"The Portland Sea Biscuits (1-5) are trying desperately to figure out what happened to their season. Granted, they almost pulled off the big upset against Knoxville last week. And granted, they've had the toughest schedule thus far this season, but is that any excuse? With the Milwaukee Muscle Men (3-3) visiting, Portland would get a chance to take out some frustration. But Milwaukee is riding the tide of a franchise record 3-game winning streak. Would Portland be doomed to fall again?

I don't think so, Kemosabe. Milwaukee's DTs Sampson and Godzilla both found out right away how vicious an irate Flamebeard can be. Portland began the game with 4 straight Flamebeard Pancakes, 4 straight first downs, and an 80-yard drive for an Antonio TD.

On their second possession, Antonio alternated running behind OT Poseidon, OT Richthofen, and OG Flamebeard, and Portland was up by 14.

Milwaukee, however, put together a momentum slowing drive by sending Ricky 'The Answer' Williams around OT King Kong, and driving FB Bulldozer behind OG Goliath. Slowly, Milwaukee ground the game down.

In the second half, Milwaukee struck first on a Bulldozer TD plunge. But after that, it was all Portland. The Sea Biscuit passing game opened up as WRs Manfred von Richthofen and Khan Ogadai started schoolin' Milwaukee's rookie secondary. Two impressive airial drives in the second led to two more touchdowns for Portland, who pulled away from Milwaukee, winning 28-7."

*****
"And now, for the game of the week, 5-1 Chicago vs. 6-0 Knoxville!

Chicago opened the game in typical, efficient Chicago style. Mixing up Randy Steele runs and Mike Marino passing, the Eagles struck first on a four-yard TD pass to FB Josh Hackenstein in the flat.

But Knoxville answered quickly, as 'Thumbless' hit WR Jackson Jackson on a 31-yard TD pass to tie the score.

Chicago's next couple of drives were frustrated by excellent play from KX DT Uncle Jesse Jackson and DE Robert E. Jackson.

But Knoxville couldn't punch it in either, as DTs Victor Green and Marshall Williams clogged the middle, and vet DE Jason Pepper got around the corner to hastle 'Thumbless'. Chicago's Mike 'Air' Marino showed excellent leadership, rifling a quick strike drive that took WR Jet out of bounds at the two, followed by a HB Randy Steele TD plunge. Chicago led at the half, 14-7.

In the third, Knoxville tied it with an impressive ground assault, powered by awesome guards Fort Sumter and Lee Davis Jackson.

In the fourth, Knoxville found their first lead with yet another Jack Back TD, a Robby Jackson cutback behind OG Fort Sumter Jackson.

Trailing by a TD, Chicago's Mike Marino took charge again, timing a corner TD pass to WR Chad Spears perfectly.

But Chicago, alas, left too much time on the clock. Knoxville WR Jackson Jackson showed why he's the best receiver in the game, twirling out of the grasp of CH CB Deniable Cook, outrunning OLB Ray Brown, and stretching out for the score as safety Ajimba Haad wrapped him up just a moment too late. ESPN ran the highlight on SportsCenter, and Knoxville survives a close one, 28-21.

Congratulations, Knoxville, at eliminating a serious contender for the crown. And then there were two. Rednecks, you've got to go through Birmingham next week. The winner of that game will seal the deal, as week 8 will determine the champion of another exciting season of ZFL football!"

Will we have our first repeating champion? Or will Birmingham become the third champ in three seasons? Tune in July 7!

[illinifan999]

Next year Chicago will win it all. Now that i have a decent draft pick lined up. ;)

[Coffee Warlord]

I'm tellin' ya, Portland is just 1 draft pick away from a return to respectability. And we'll get it this year.

[NevStar]

Ugh..I've never been so embarassed.

[Marmel]

Holy. Shizzle.

[digamma]

Maybe the week off will do the Necks some good!
Although we are proud to be the only team with a winning record against the hated Chicago Eagles!

[illinifan999]

Yep that's right we are the hated Eagles. Better watch out though winning a few championships makes you hated.....

[revrew]

Yeah, and winning two in a row would make a person REALLY hated, don't you think?

Regarding what Coffee said, there are a number of teams just one pick away from contention. Birmingham proved this year how much a team can leapfrog with one really good draft (and a killer trade). And there's one team in this bunch that would be deadly unstoppable, would win next year easy if they just....

[Coffee Warlord]

...got a fricking quarterback? :)

[DolphinFan1]

That's it. Flamebeard, you may have had the last laugh against Milwaukee, but remember that I am the GM of the ZFL Wrestling. I'll take care of you there.

[tucker342]

I'm so ready for Knoxville! 7-0, hopefully soon to be 8-0:D

[digamma]

Away game at Birmingham, combined with the way they've been playing. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Necks as a two touchdown underdog! :D

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
That's it. Flamebeard, you may have had the last laugh against Milwaukee, but remember that I am the GM of the ZFL Wrestling. I'll take care of you there.

Just don't take it out on the one, the only, the Coffee Warlord. :)

[illinifan999]

You'd think that winning TWo would make them really hated, but alas I fear that will not happen. I figure Chicago will always be looked at as the New York Yankees, etc of the ZFL. Won't matter if we are the laughinstock, everyone will hate us. :( ;)

[DolphinFan1]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
Just don't take it out on the one, the only, the Coffee Warlord. :)

No, for now you are ok in my book. But that may change. You know how it goes in wrestling. JK.:)

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by illinifan999
You'd think that winning TWo would make them really hated, but alas I fear that will not happen. I figure Chicago will always be looked at as the New York Yankees, etc of the ZFL. Won't matter if we are the laughinstock, everyone will hate us. :( ;)

You're the f'ing antichrist. Deal with it. :)

[illinifan999]

LOL!!!! But I'm not an antichrist. Them rednecks are, what with their many players that are related..... ;)

[revrew]

Originally posted by digamma
Away game at Birmingham, combined with the way they've been playing. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Necks as a two touchdown underdog! :D

Ooh, good idea on what to do in the off-week while I'm away. Let's hear some wagers, gentlemen!

Las Vegas currently has the line at Birmingham giving 2 1/2 on their home turf. Yep, that's right. Las Vegas FAVORS the Olympians by three.

The over/under is set at 45 1/2.

Atlantic City, however, is picking Knoxville by 2 1/2, and have set the over/under up at 49 1/2!

Some big differences of opinion among the experts. What are your calls, wagers, and predictions, gentlemen? Fans?

[Coffee Warlord]

Portland over LA, 137-0 :)

[sachmo71]

I'll take Ditka.

[NevStar]

Ditka pre- or post- heart attack?

[digamma]

The Knoxville paper reports the mayor of Knoxville has contacted the mayor of Birmingham and offered to wager the following on the Olympians-Rednecks game:

1 case of Spam
A fifth of Early Times Bourbon
A spare tire
and can of bait (unspecified, but Mayor Jackson typically uses worms)

[Marmel]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
Portland over LA, 137-0 :)


There is no doubt abut the zero, but our defense is one of the best. :)

[tucker342]

I'll take that bet!:D

[sachmo71]

What if Portland changed their names to the Portland Ditkas?

[tucker342]

At first I read that as the Portland Dikes... Think about that, GO DIKES GO! GO DIKES GO!

[Swaggs]

bump....

[JeeberD]

Dikes are cool....

[MIJB#19]

Dikes are lifesavers, if you ask me...

[tucker342]

wow, we need Revrew back quickly...:D

[Swaggs]

Where is revrew, anyway? Did he head out of town?

[Swaggs]

dola...or is he afraid I might pummel him again in ZFL Wrestling? :)

[tucker342]

Originally posted by revrew
Bad news gentlemen

It's good news for me, but not for y'all. Next week I'm going to be at a writer's conference in Green Lake, Wisconsin. But I'll have no access to FOF or my ZFL records. Which means...one week without ZFL.


does this answer your question:D

[tucker342]

only a couple more days.... Hurry Revrew, Hurry!!!

[Swaggs]

I'm pretty sure it was the fear of the pummelling... :)

[revrew]

Swaggs, you don't scare me. :p

Back from Wisconsin--had a great time. Should be good for my career, too.

Enough votes are in to confirm expansion according to the "sachmo plan," so expect Cinci and El Paso to join us next season.

Week 8 results, and thus the champ for season 3 will be posted later today!

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by revrew
Enough votes are in to confirm expansion according to the "sachmo plan," so expect Cinci and El Paso to join us next season.


Huzzah!!! :)

[sachmo71]

Glad you had fun, Rev. :)

[illinifan999]

Now post the damn results. ;)

[tucker342]

glad you had fun:)

[revrew]

Week 8
"Close games, upsets, and a championship decided. What a week!

We begin in Milwaukee, where the 3-4 Muscle Men invited the 0-7 Slick Willies to a slaughter.

Milwaukee's Bullseye opened the scoring with 2 Touchdown strikes to WR The Flash. When Little Rock failed to answer, Milwaukee turned to the running game where FB Bulldozer flattened LR DT James 'Jellybean' Johnston and showed MLB Denver Mills moves that left the 'backer standing still.

It looked like Little Rock might make a comeback in the third following a RB Rajah Saleem TD run, but on the next possession, QB Dixon Spiller overlooked rookie CB He's Not JeeberD. That's a costly mistake. The Rook took the INT to the house, and sealed the coffin. Milwaukee wins the week's only blowout, 42-7."

*****
"The exact opposite happened in (2-5) L.A. where the 'Star Crunch' dished out some humility to (2-5) Portland's OG Erik Flamebeard of Neither Here nor There. Young Flamebeard found why LA DT Ed Norton is the league's best aged veteran, but elderly PT RB Antonio De La Tonio found that LA youngsters MLB Brad Pitt and S Ray Liotta may have already passed him on their way up.

The Italian Stallion was held to a mere 61 yards on 23 carries. Antonio never found the endzone.

Of course, neither did L.A. as Portland's dominant youngsters at DT, Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III and Captain Bipto bottled up the run. Aged secondary men S Billy Jim Bob Lee Whitaker and CB Kosh put the brakes on the LA air attack as well, and regulation ended in a 0-0 tie. Bring on the Kickers!

The referees took quite a while explaining the rules of kickboxing to Portland's Vladimir von Vladimir, perhaps evidence that the Sea Biscuit was outside his comfort zone. L.A.'s Little Val Kilmer, however, hopped up and down exitedly, looking forward to a shot at his second win of the season. In a flurry of jabs and roundhouses, Kilmer showed he had the goods, slapping Vlad silly. The eastern European warrior was tough as nails, refusing to give in despite the bludgeoning, but it when the bell sounded, Kilmer had won the day. The L.A. Stars win the upset, 3-0."

*****
"When the 'don't overlook us yet' San Antonio Margaritas (4-3), faced Fargo (2-5), the Crawfish once again showed why they may be a force in years to come.

The Fish fought for two ground scores, with FB Ty Wick paving the way for sophomore sensation HB Glutton for Punishment.

San Antonio, however, found a weak spot in Fargo DT Waste of a Jersey, and SA OG Lone Star plowed holes in the line too big for Fargo MLB Still Alive? to contain. San Antonio's M&M boys found the endzone thrice, and San Antonio wins a close one, 21-14."

*****
"Albuquerque (3-4) at Chicago (5-2) was earlier rumored to be one of this year's key late-season match-ups. But Albuquerque's unexplained struggles showed up yet again.

Chicago's HB Randy Steele got in the groove early behind favorite road-paver, OG Tom Sanders. Steele had an outstanding day, running for 155 yards and two scores, while setting up two more by rookie QB Mike 'Air' Marino.

For Albuquerque, the running game couldn't get it going inside, as MLB Zach Urlacher clogged it up. They couldn't run outside, as DE Jason Pepper terrorized the corner. Only the usually tough secondary proved fallible today as QB Moe Sizzlack tossed at TD to WR The Cheat. Safety Troy McClure ran yet another INT back for 7, but it wouldn't be enough to slow down the efficient Eagles. Chicago wins, 28-14."

*****
"And now for the championship game. (7-0) Birmingham vs. (7-0) Knoxville. By necessary process, the winner of this game wins the whole enchilada.

'Both of these teams are amazingly strong running squads,' said guest commentator Mia Hamm, 'but both have weaknesses in the front six. Look for each team to try to establish the run early.'

Good call, Mia. Birmingham wasn't about to put the game in the hands of rookie QB Zeus 'ZR' Reloaded. Instead they asked OGs Another Troy and Dionysus to let Nymph and Artemis come on through. Knoxville wasn't up for the challenge today, as the Olympian ground attack tore up yards and scores.

Knoxville's 'Thumbless' Jackson, however, used a quick release to keep Birmingham's DEs Atlantis and Another Atlantis guessing. The Olympian defense couldn't key on the Jack Backs, and HB Robby 'Action' Jackson piled up a pair of scores, while WR Jackson Jackson added another.

The score was tied at 21 going into the fourth. With great plays from Knoxville rookie MLB Mullet Jackson and BH safety Odysseus, the dominating offenses began to stall.

With only a few minutes left in the game, Birmingham was given one last drive to prevent overtime. Kickers LeBron James and Knoxville's Eli Manning were sweating bullets on the sideline.

A pair of pounding runs by BH FB Nymph brought the ball out to midfield, but dogged determination by KX DT Uncle Jesse Jackson stalled the drive at the 45. Facing 3rd and 3 from the 45, BH stacked the line with an extra guard, OG Aphrodite.

At the snap, the line pulled left, but OG Aphrodite stepped back to intercept the blitzing KX safety Johnny 'Nascar' Jackson. As 'ZR' motioned to hand off to HB Artemis, the KX linebackers streaked in to fill the gaps.

But this left BH WR Revrew alone in the secondary with CB Billy Ray Jackson.

The play-action worked to perfection as 'ZR' pulled back and tossed the ball on a the slant to Revrew. Revrew and Billy Ray Jackson fought and battled for 20+ yards before KX OLB Bubba Jackson caught up to the duking duo and dragged Revrew down at the 3.

From there, FB Nymph punched in the score that would prove to be the game-winner. Birmingham becomes the third ZFL champ in 3 years by squeeking past the Rednecks 28-21!

Congratulations Birmingham, and thanks for the ring!"

[illinifan999]

Congrats Birgmingham! :)

Woohoo finally a decent draft spot! :D

[sachmo71]

Congrats to the Olympians!

[digamma]

Congrats to Birmingham. The case of Spam is on the way.

[sachmo71]

Wait a minute...I apologize. I misspoke.


Congrats to Bermanham! You guys are the best!

[JeeberD]

Congrats!

[tucker342]

YESSSSSS!!!!:D

Great game:D

[Swaggs]

What about Little Rock?

Perfect season. 0-8 baby!

[NevStar]

Congrats. We suck.

[revrew]

Week 9
"Going into week 9, two things are decided: the champ (BH), and the first overall draft pick (LR). But some HUGE questions of postioning remain.

Knoxville should be second at 7-1, but with 6-2 Chicago nipping at their heels and a tough matchup against Albuquerque, Knoxville could slip.

6-2 Chicago, meanwhile, is watching 5-3 San Antonio closely.

5-3 San Antonio faces 4-4 Milwaukee THIS WEEK, so the winner there will automatically finish ahead of the other in the standings. But which way will it go?

Then, the log jam. AQ and LA sit at 3-5, while FG and PT are closely behind at 2-6. Four teams whose draft days could move dramatically up, or down, all based on week 9's action.

And as for (0-8) Little Rock, they have the opportunity to be yet another club to join the less than pretty "winless season" gang.

On to the games...

[revrew]

"Could LA's 'Star Crunch' put the brakes on Birhmingham? Could they stop a perfect season?

'ZR' discovered quickly that L.A. Safety Ray Liotta came to play, as the rookie QB tossed 2 INTs in the first half.

But L.A. couldn't hold on to the ball long enough to give their defense a chance to breathe. Eventually, the Olympian running demolition derby destroyed LA.

The Olympians complete a perfect season by beating the Stars, 21-0."
*****
"Could Little Rock get their first win against the underachieving Sea Biscuits?

No way, Jose. Or maybe I should say, no way, Flamebeard. The Sea Biscuits trashed Little Rock with three ground scores, and nearly 400 yards in the air. WRs Manfred von Richthofen and rookie Khan Ogadai both enjoyed PT QB Ivan Ivanivich's best day as a pro, each grabbing 100+ yards and a score.

LR HB Rajah Saleem managed to bust a couple of long TD runs (45 and 56 yards), but the Barry-Sanders-like back couldn't carry the team by himself. Portland crushes the Willies, 42-14."

*****
"San Antonio or Milwaukee? Who would tie up fourth place in the ZFL? San Antonio's passing game couldn't get it going as CB He's Not Jeeber D added 2 more INTs to his yearly total. But the M&M running tandem proved too much for Milwaukee's lackluster defensive line.

As for Milwaukee, nothing went well today. San Antonio's DE All Pro recorded 4 sacks and MLB Ray Lewis recorded 15 tackles.

San Antonio shows some spark, spanking Milwaukee, 21-0."

*****
"The Chicago vs. Fargo matchup again put fear in the favorite team. Fargo's O-line gave Chicago a surprising workout, and HB Glutton for Punishment punished the Eagles for two scores.

Chicago also ran two in, but the difference would be CH WR Jet burning FG CB Burned Deeperer for 7 in the fourth. Chicago wins, 21-14."

*****
"Knoxville would need a win over Albuquerque to hold on to second place, and the Isotopes were not about to let 'em have it easy.

Albuquerque's HB Guy Incognito showed off some of the potential that made AQ so high on him on draft day, running behind OT Ralph Wiggum for big pick-ups. Moe Sizzlack put the heat on as well, and Albuquerque set the bar at 35. Can you score more than that, Knoxville?

Unfortunately for the 'Topes, Knoxville can. In the battle of the league's best two QBs, 'Thumbless' got the upper hand today, roasting AQ CB Herschel 'Hey Hey' Krustofsky. KX Wideout JJ topped 200 yards on the day (for his ZFL record 7th time), and the Jack Backs punched it in if it ever got close. Knoxville saw Albuquerque's 35 and raised 'em 7. KX wins, 42-35."

[revrew]

Season End Wrap-up
First of all, the final standings are as follows:

1. Birmingham 9-0
2. Knoxville 8-1
3. Chicago 7-2
4. San Antonio 6-3
5. Milwaukee 4-5

A three-way tie, determined by fewest points allowed, per league rules:
6. Los Angeles 3-6
7. Portland 3-6
8. Albuquerque 3-6

Then:
9. Fargo 2-7
10. Little Rock 0-9

[tucker342]

Great season everyone:D

Don't worry Little Rock, you'll probably get a two wins next year against the expansion teams:D

[sachmo71]

EDIT: Nevermind...found it.

We finished second, then their, now fourth...can we end the slide?

[Coffee Warlord]

I'll update season ending stats on the website tonight, as I've been busy at work.

[Swaggs]

I takes a certain lack of player skill, a remarkable run of bad luck, and extra poor management skills to produce a perfectly winless season.

[tucker342]

You must be very proud:D

[revrew]

Player Awards and Honors
Passing leaders:
Moe Sizzlack - AQ
'Thumbless' Jackson - KX
*Mike Marino - CH

Passing TD leaders:
'Thumbless' Jackson - KX
Moe Sizzlack - AQ
*Mike Marino - CH

Passing efficiency leaders:
'Thumbless' Jackson - KX
Moe Sizzlack - AQ
Bullseye - MW

Rushing yardage leaders:
Glutton for Punishment - FG
Mutt - SA
Rajah Saleem - LR

Rushing TD leaders:
Antonio De La Tonio - PT
Glutton for Punishment - FG
*Nymph - BH

Receiving yards:
Jackson Jackson - KX
The Cheat - AQ
Jet - CH

Receiving touchdowns:
Jackson Jackson - KX
The Cheat - AQ
Jet - CH

Sack Leader:
DE Jason Pepper - CH

INT Leader:
*CB He's Not JeeberD - MW

*****
Awards and Player Honors
MVP: QB 'Thumbless' Jackson - KX
ORoY: FB Nymph - BH
DRoY: CB He's Not JeeberD - MW

First Team All-ZFL
QB: 'Thumbless' Jackson - KX
HB: Glutton for Punishment - FG
FB: *Nymph - BH
WR: Jackson Jackson - KX
WR: Jet - CH
OT: Lard Ass - SA
OT: Ralph Wiggum - AQ
OG: Tom Sanders - CH
OG: Erik Flamebeard of Neither Here Nor There - PT

DT: Ed Norton - LA
DT: Hera - BH
DE: *Toby McGwire - LA
DE: Jason Pepper - CH
MLB: Brad Pitt - LA
OLB: Supterman - MW
S: Troy McClure - AQ
CB: *He's Not JeeberD - MW

K: *Bruce Handily - MW

Second Team All-ZFL
QB: Moe Sizzlack - AQ
HB: Antonio De La Tonio - PT
FB: Samuel Jackson - KX
WR: The Cheat - AQ
WR: Manfred von Richthofen - PT
OT: Not Quite as Chunky - SA
OT: Renaldo Buckler - LR
OG: Lone Star - SA
OG: Fort Sumter Jackson - KX

DT: Sack U - SA
DT: Maximillion Powers - BH
DE: All-Pro - SA
DE: *Another Atlantis - BH
MLB: Zach Urlacher - CH
OLB: Arkantos - BH
S: Ray Liotta - LA
CB: Paul Sorvino - LA

K: Little Val Kilmer - LA

* Denotes rookie

[revrew]

Injury Reports

Portland: "The dramatic dip in RB Antonio De La Tonio's YPC this year may have been due to more than just age. Doctors in the off-season have found massive degeneration in the cartilege around De La Tonio's knees. This news will greatly affect his future running ability, and sources close to the team are wondering if 'The Italian Stallion' might soon anounce his retirement."

Fargo: "Offensive Guard Eric has been plagued this season with ankle problems. Arthroscopic surgery in the offseason should correct the problem, but expect a slight dip in Eric's performance.

"The news isn't as good for rookie S Safety Boy, however. The youngster tore his achille's tendon in the final game, and while he will recover, his future performance looks to be greatly inhibited."

Milwaukee: "Bad news for the Muscle Men as veteran QB Bullseye's doctors found severe tendenitis in his throwing shoulder. Bullseye will need to take anti-inflamatories and other medications, likely for the rest of his career. His throwing motion has been severely hampered; he will not return to top form."

Albuquerque: "When it rains, it pours. On the heels of a severely disappointing season, the Isotopes have been flooded with injuries. The least severe belongs to OG Clancy Wiggum. Recurrant carpal tunnel will limit his hand-strength, but he should continue to play fairly well.

"Not so for Kicker Duff Man, whose bulging discs will create tremendous pain and limit his effectiveness.

"Furthermore, DE Seymour 'The Principal of Defense' Skinner has suffered this season from a dislocated hip. Tests reveal his hip socket to be permanently damaged. While Skinner hasn't given up hope that he might return, the odds that he will ever be able to contribute to a ZFL roster again are slim."

Birmingham: "Perhaps the worst, and certainly the most controversial bad news in the league comes from Alabama. When rookie sensation FB Nymph signed with the Olympians, he made it clear he wanted to play in the NFL. He signed with BH only after securing an escape clause should an NFL team come calling.

'It's fairly common among ZFL rookies to demand that clause,' said GM tucker. 'Several of our players have it. They hold out hopes they might play well enough to catch an NFL team's eye. So few players can make that leap, that I don't normally begrudge them that opportunity, no matter how unlikely. But no one expected Nymph to play so incredibly well last season. His breakout helped us win the championship, but I fear it will also cost us his future services.'

In fact, it has. The New York Giants were so impressed with Nymph, they outbid the Falcons, Raiders, and Seahawks for Nymph's services. He will not be returning to play in the ZFL.

The reaction in Birmingham is near pandemonium. Olympian fans have just lost their favorite player, and there is an urgent demand for commish Revrew to alter league contract policies.

Commishioner Rew responded, 'The ZFL holds a precarious relationship with both its incoming rookies and the NFL. Contractually obligating players to decline opportunities to play NFL ball would most likely inhibit both our ability to sign quality players and our ability to run a sustainable league. I'm also grieved at Nymph's departure, but for the good of the league, we must now simply wish him well. To do otherwise would likely mean the loss of not one star player, but entire rosters of players. Good luck, Nymph. Show 'em what the ZFL has got!"

[revrew]

The 2004 draft is almost upon us. I will start a thread shortly that will get the draft going.

Unfortunately, I have to be gone for a week again, but I will have the draft up and running before I leave. Y'all have done this before. You know how it works. You won't even miss me.

Cincinnati and El Paso will not be participating in this draft, but will enter with their new teams in place for week 1. Be patient, shorty and JeeberD, your teams are almost set to go. I will, likely, allow you the opportunity to pick up leftover undrafteds and cut players, but we will work that out later.

We have a couple of trades in place already that will affect this draft, so pay attention to the draft order (the first post on the new thread.)

As for trades during the draft, if the trading teams can post an agreement on the thread, there's no need to PM me or get my "permission". Trades are good to go if the trading parties agree.

**ATTENTION** Since I will be gone, I would ask that someone else run the 'who's been drafted' board. I will post the draft candidates, then if someone (let's say, Bob) will QUOTE my post, all the candidates will be in bold in Bob's post. Then, Bob can just edit his post, unbolding those as they are selected. Whatcha say? Someone willing to be Bob?

Any questions before we begin?

[tucker342]

No questions but, FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My best player just had to leave.... oh well....

[DolphinFan1]

Two of my players made the awards list! :D :D

[illinifan999]

Originally posted by tucker342
No questions but, FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My best player just had to leave.... oh well....

Yeah I know how you feel. :(

[sachmo71]

So if your team isn't on the injuries list, there were NO injuries to that team?

[illinifan999]

Thinking the same thing as you sachmo. :D

[Coffee Warlord]

Jerks. :)

[Swaggs]

Taking offers... :)

[tucker342]

Well, it's not looking like I'm going to repeat....

[sachmo71]

Rev? I'm dying ova here!

[revrew]

Correct, sachmo. If you're not on the injuries list, you're scott free. Now, your older players may slip in ability, and your younger guys may get better. But no injuries for S.A. this year.

[sachmo71]

Wonder of freakin' wonders!