The William Sistrunk Dynasty

[Koprnkc]

DATE LINE: Kansas City Star Sports Pg. C1
HEADLINE: Royals set New Record, New Low!

Today the Kansas City Royals set a new Major League Record, a record manager Tony Pena would just as soon as forget. In losing to the Detroit Tigers 17-1 today, the Royals finished the season 35-127. Yes folks, thats not a typo, or a reporters error, 35-127! The Royals broke the former league mark held by the New York Mets. Along with this record, the Royals also set the Major League Record for a Pitching Staff, with 3 starers losing over 20 games, and their other 2 starters losing 18. With the conclusion of this season, Dan Glass, owner of the Royals had this to say "I promise you, next year will bring a MAJOR CHANGE." Mr. Glass refused to comment any further on this statement. Speculation has it that manager Tony Pena may lose his job, along with G.M. Allard Baird, the engineers of this train wreck known as the Royals.

Jim Fink
[Jim Fink is a beat writer for the Kansas City star, covering the Royals]

[Koprnkc]

Welcome to Baseball Tonight folks, Im Harold Reynolds, and our lead story tonight is the annoucement by Kansas City Royals owner, David Glass, that the team has been put up for sale. Speculation has it that the Royals recent record for ineptness has caused severe health issues for Mr. Glass. Mr. Glass is reportedly asking for $150,000,000, for the team. We will continue to follow and report on this recent developement.

[Koprnkc]

DATE LINE: Kansas City Star Front Page 1A
HEADLINE: Owner of Home Depot to Purchase Royals
Team to be moved to Little Rock, Arkansas!

Today, Joe Bob Billie Byson, owner of a chain of Home Depots spread throughout Arkansas, has announced his intentions to purchase the Kansas City Royals from Dan Glass. Mr. Byson has submitted a proposal to purchase the team for an undisclosed amount believed to be near the $150,000,000 asking price of Mr. Glass. Neither Mr. Byson, nor Mr. Glass were available to confirm this report, however an undisclosed source close to Mr. Byson was able to confirm this rumor. This source also confirmed that Mr. Byson had every intention to move the team to Little Rock, Arkansas, where it will play in the newly built Massey-Fergunson Stadium. The source also informed this reporter that the team was to be renamed the Arkansas Possums.

Jim Fink
[Jim Fink is a reporter and beat writer for the Kansas City Star, covering the Royals]

[Koprnkc]

WELCOME TO SPORTSCENTER.......Our lead story tonight, the proposed sale of the Kansas City Royals to Joe Bob Billie Bryson. We now go to Harold Reynolds, who's been following a new development. Harold?

Thank you Mike. I have just learned of a new offer by an undisclosed individual to purchase the Kansas City Royals. An insider close to the Royals organization has just informed me of an offer by another individual to purchase the team for $210,000,000. This same source told me that the individual is a native to Kansas City, and stepped forward when he learned of the possible sale and move of the team. Now, I spoke to Mayor of Kansas City, Kay Barnes, on who this possible new entry might be, but, she was unable to provide me with any insight. She did comment that it was not the Kempers {who ironically, just spent $150,000,000 on a new 600 Ft. tall Polo Mallet, to compete with the Arch in St. Louis.} I checked with several other civic leaders also, and they to were at a lost at who this unknown buyer might be. This will certainly bear watching over the next couple of weeks, and ESPN will bring you up to date as soon as we learn the identity of the new entrant for the purchase of the Royals. Back to you in studio, Mike.

Thank you, Harold.

And in other news, the Jamician Ping Pong team has suffered a serious blow to their Gold Medal hopes in the upcoming 2004 Olympics. It seems that their star player, Kwicky Hands, suffered a scrape on his right arm while charging the net at their last ping pong match. Doctors are unsure if this injury is career threatening or not.

Stay tuned to Sports Center....More scores and highlights coming up!

[Koprnkc]

WELCOME TO SPORTSCENTER......

Our lead story, the on going saga over the purchase of the Kansas City Royals. We now go to Harold Reynolds for the latest on this story. Harold?

Thank you, Mike. I have just learned that Major League Baseball, and Commisoner Bud Selig has denied the purchase of the Royals to the undisclosed buyer for $210,000,000., and approved the sale of the team to Joe Bob Billie Byson. I have also learned that a restraining order was granted against the proposed sale of the team to Mr. Byson. Attorneys for Major League Baseball did confirm that a restraining order was granted by a Federal Judge in Kansas City, Mo., today, immediatily after the announced sale of the team to Mr. Byson.

I also spoke to Johnnie Cochran, the attorney for the undisclosed entrant who was attempting to purchase the team. Mr. Cochran would only say the that the sale was discrimitory against his client, and that they would have their day in court.

Harold, did the Attorneys for Major League Baseball say why Mr. Byson was granted the team and this other undisclosed bidder was not, when his bid was $60,000,000 less then the other bid?

No Mike, they did not, and one can only wonder why. I attempted to speak to several of my sources inside of Major League Baseball, but nobody would step forward to offer any detail. We will diffently be watching and reporting on this drama as it unfolds. Back to you Mike.

Thank you, Harold.

And in other news, if you remember, several weeks back we reported to you the heinous injury suffered by Kwicki Hands, of the Jamician Ping Pong team. We just learned today, that Mr. Hands has suffered a set back in his rehabilitaion of his injury. Mr. Hands was at a local Cafe, when a teammate spilt salt on his injury. Doctors say that this may, set his return back by several minutes.

Stay tuned to SPORTSCENTER...... More Scores and Highlights coming up!

Overheard on the air......

{Where's my producer, who the H*ll, is coming up this Kwicki Hands BS? You can't tell me that this is more important, then the NBA Finals! ....... Err..... Nevermind, there probably are more interested in the Kwicki Hands Story then the NBA Finals.}

[Koprnkc]

{2 weeks later, as the Afternoon edition of Sportscenter is coming to a close, and returning from a commercial break.}

We now return to SPORTSCENTER.......

An update on the Kansas City Royals and the drama unfolding over their sale. It seems the case will be heard in 2 weeks in the U.S. Supreme Court. Neither side had any comment to make on the forthcoming trial.

And in other news, the London Monarchs have just won the NFLEurope Title by thumping the Galaxy 34-3.

Thats SPORTSCENTER.....Stay tuned for live coverage of the Hong Kong International Ping Pong Open, pitting the Jamacian team with Kwicki Hands attempting to comeback from a career threatening injury, against Tiwan.

[sterlingice]

Originally posted by Koprnkc
She did comment that it was not the Kempers {who ironically, just spent $150,000,000 on a new 600 Ft. tall Polo Mallet, to compete with the Arch in St. Louis.}

HAHA! I'm suprised Barnes didn't offer up a bi-state tax to pay for it.

SI

[Koprnkc]

Just a quick introduction. Ive been lurking the FOF boards for years, and have enjoyed many dynasty reports, and so finally I have decided to write up my own.

For this dynasty, I will be using OOTP 5. There are no house rules other then I will maintain control of the Royals. How long this dynasty goes will depend upon William Sistrunk and how long his career lasts. The diff. setting I will be using will be Hall of Famer.

My only true goal in this dynasty is to make it entertaining reading for my fellow Fofcers.

Please Post a comment, all feedback welcomed.

Now back to the Dynasty.

[Koprnkc]

{2 weeks have now passed}

DATELINE: SPORTSCENTER......Harold Reynolds breaking in.......

We interrupt our coverage of extreme lawn darts to bring you live coverage of the lawsuit involving Major League Baseball and a as of yet unnamed litigant. We go now live, with former Philly John Kruk, to the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court. John, what can you tell us is going on down there?

Thank you, Harold. Im live on the steps of the U.S. Supreme court and the Commishioner and Attorneys for Major League Baseball have just arrived. I was able to speak briefly with Commishioner Seling and he had this to say "The individual who has brought this lawsuit against myself, and Major League Baseball would bring a black eye to our industry. It doesnt take a U.S. Supreme Court Justice to see the ramifications that allowing such an individual into Major League Baseball will have on our sport." Mr. Seling refused to comment any further at that point, only adding that Major League Baseball would hold a press conference after the U.S. Supreme Courts ruling.

John, do we know why Major League Baseball has refused to release this undisclosed bidders name? And why hasn't he come forward himself?

That's a good question Harold? Unfortunatly, Major League Baseball just refuses to release that information, and one can only venture a guess as to why this bidder has not stepped forward yet.

John, do we know if the bidder will be appearing in front of the U.S. Supreme court today?

Harold, I'm sorry, I did not hear your question. A black limo has just arrived and theres a large comm...., wait a minute, Johnnie Cochran has just stepped out of the limo. And, OH MY GOD!....{cameras show John Kruk drop his mike, they quickly pan back to the limo, and the individual stepping out}....

John? John? Are you there? Who is it John?

Im sorry Harold, but adult film industry and former star, John "Hughes" Sistrunk has just stepped out of the limo!

{The camera shows John Kruk racing forward and shaking the hand of Mr. Sistrunk, Kruk has also forgotten that he is live on the air and holding a mike, thus the following is overheard........}

"Mr. Sistrunk, I am such a hugh fan of your companies work! I personnally have mastur**ted to over 100 of your companies videos, that I have in my collection, it would be such a pleasure if you would give me your autograph, make it out to John Kruk please."

John? We're live and on the air! John!........

What? Huh? Oh, sorry Harold, I, err, was slightly overcome for a moment. What? It did? Sh*t! What? I cant say Sh*t on the air? Are you F*****g kidding me? What? Damn, I need to go grab a drink and a video.

{ESPN returns back to the studio......and Harold Reynolds}

We will return after this commercial break........

Producer to a young blond intern "I want you to find every bit of information you can on this John Sistrunk. I mean everything, where he's from, lives now, etc...."

Young blond intern "yessir. Does that include the video we watched during lunch back at the Quickie Motel and Minnie Mart, this afternoon?"

Producer "Err, lets keep that to ourselves for now, Ok?"

Young blond intern "Yessir."

[Koprnkc]

Welcome back to BASEBALL TONIGHT......I'm Harold Reynolds......and now we bring you our feature story. Yesterday, we learned that none other then John "Hughes" Sistruck is the bidder sueing Major League Baseball over the purchase of the Royals. We now turn to John Kruk, who has uncovered more about Mr. Sistruck. John.

Thank you Harold. When we first brought you the story of a second unknown bidder attempting to purchase the Royals, and Major League Baseball refusal to allow the sale to go through, instead approving Joe Bob Billie Bysons purchase of the team, not much was known at that time about this unknown bidder. But now that his identity has come out, we have been able to uncover the facts about Mr. Sistruck.

John "Hughes" Sistruck is a native to Kansas City, having left to pursue a career in film. He became a big star in the Adult Entertainment industry as a movie producer and actor. Mr. Sistruck pioneered Adult enterainment via the World Wide Web, and as a result, according to FORBES Magazine, is currently considered one of the worlds top 3 wealthiest persons. Mr. Sistruck total net worth is said to be close to $25 billion dollars. Mr. Sistruck is a well respected member of his community despite how he has made his money. He is said to have donated untold millions for causes to help children who have been exploited, along with donations to help fight ALS. Mr. Sistruck has 1 wife, Buffy, along with his 17 year old son, William Sistruck. Mr. Sistruck is also one of the largest contributors to George W. Bushs office, and is considered one of most powerful behind the scenes players on capital hill. Thats all I have to report for now Harold, but it sounds to me like Major League Baseball might have met its match here. Back to you Harold.

Thank you, John.

Stay tuned to SPORTSCENTER after this commercial break.......

[korme]

will be following

good stuff, crazyname

[Koprnkc]

We interrupt this program to bring you late breaking news from the U.S. Supreme Court, we now join Mike Tirico in the ESPN studio..........

This just in, in a majority vote, the U.S. Supreme Court has reached a verdict against Major League Baseball, finding that Major League Baseball's vetoing of the sale of the Kansas City Royals to John "Hughes" Sistruck was indeed discrimintory. In their finding, they note "...that Major League Baseball knowingly, and willfully vetoed Mr. Sistrucks purchase of the team based only on his being involved in what Major League Baseball considers an immoral and pervasive job pursuit. It is not Major League Baseball's job to decide how a owner makes his money in what field, but Major League Baseball's job to deteremine whether or not a owner has, and will continue to conduct himself in a manner that is conducive to Major League Baseball's by-laws, and by Major League Baseball's own admission, in their own documents no less, they found Mr. Sistruck to be a respect, upstanding member of the community in which he lives, and works, and these same documents show Major League Baseball and Comminsioner Bud Seling actively and knowingly dening Mr. Sistruck from purchasing the Kansas City Royals based solely on his past and present job professions." This is a landmark decision reached by the Supreme Court.

Commishioner Seling, along with the Attorney's for Major League Baseball will hold a news conference at 5 p.m. Est. today to comment on this landmark ruling.

[Koprnkc]

Thanks Shorty, as to the name, well, its my profession.

Sterlingice, the Polo Mallet is actually in discussion. The Kempers are planning on finacing the entire project, however, I havent heard as to why we need a 600 ft. tall Polo Mallet in downtown Kansas City. Needless to say, it has made alot of sports fans upset.

[sterlingice]

Originally posted by Koprnkc
Thanks Shorty, as to the name, well, its my profession.

Sterlingice, the Polo Mallet is actually in discussion. The Kempers are planning on finacing the entire project, however, I havent heard as to why we need a 600 ft. tall Polo Mallet in downtown Kansas City. Needless to say, it has made alot of sports fans upset.

Listening to Kietzman and Petro rail on the Kempers is a favorite pasttime of mine. The mallet I hadn't heard but KC doesn't exactly need another "me, too" monument. How retarded. As if spending a million bucks apiece on those damn spires wasn't bad enough..

SI

[Koprnkc]

Welcome to ESPNews.......I'm Mike Tirico, we soon will be joining live, Major League Baseball, and Commishioner Bud Seling's news conference concerning the U.S. Supreme Courts ruling.

We now go live to Peter Gammons covering the news conference......... Peter?

Thank you, Mike. I'm live here at the offices of Major League Baseball, in a packed room with several hundred other news journalists from around the country, waiting on Commishioner Seling to arrive, along with Mr. Joe Bob Billie Byson, who was initally accepted as the purchaser of the Kansas City Royals.

Peter, what is the reaction of the other journalist in the room to this landmark decision?

Well Mike, I was able to briefly speak to Jason Whitlock, a reporter from the Kansas City Star, and a co-worker of ours from the SPORTS REPORTERS. Jason felt that the ruling was needed, as he pointed out to me, its not like the owners of Major League Baseball, or any pro franchise for that matter, are saints.

Peter, shouldnt this......

Sorry to interrupt you Mike, Commishioner Seling has just approached the poduim. Let's listen in.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. First, I want to thank you all for coming. I am going to be brief with my comments, and then we will have a quick question and answer session. Let me start by saying that this is indeed a bleak day for Major League Baseball, and I personnally feel a black eye for the U.S. Supreme Court. Mr. Sistruck is a fine individual, however, we do not feel it is appropriate for an owner of a Major League Baseball team to be trading and making money in an industry that is morally bankrupt, that advacates the exploitation of women, that is infested with rampet drug use, and influences our children in a negative manner. These may be acceptable values in the NBA, but not here, in Major League Baseball. Once again, we as owners of Major League Baseball hold nothing personally against Mr. Sistruck, we feel he is a fine citizen, it simply came down to the business Mr. Sistruck deals in. I will now turn the podium over to Mr. Byson, who would like to make a brief comment. Mr. Byson.

Thank you Commishioner Seling. First I would like to congradulate Mr. Sistruck on his purchase of the Royals. I'm sure that Kansas City could not ask for a finer owner. It is with great regret that I was unable to bring Major League Baseball to the great state of Arkansas. I know how hard they worked to get the funding passed to build Massey-Fergunson Stadium. I can and will promise them this, I will work continually to bring Major League baseball to Little Rock, and the GREAT state of Arkansas. Thank you.

Commishioner Seling......We will now take questions.......

Commishioner Seling, Jason Whitlock, Kansas City Star.... Do you forsee a influx of Adult entertainment within Major League Baseball as a result of this ruling?

No Jason, as a matter of fact, Mr. Sistruck will be held accountable to the by-laws of Major League Baseball, just as all owners are.

Peter Gammons, ESPN....... Commishioner Seling, how do you feel the injury to Normar Garciparra will effect the Red Sox this season?

Peter, this is a news conference concerning the recent Supreme Court ruling.

Err, sorry.

Yes, you in the back.

Larry Bainson, reporter with USA Today..... Commishioner, why did Major League Baseball refuse to identify Mr. Sistruck when he made his inital offer?

Well, we basically felt that at the time, it would be in the best interest of Major League Baseball to keep Mr. Sistruck's identity in-house, to avoid any negative outcry for considering him.

Yes, you in the overalls in the corner......

Hi, I'm Larry, this is my brother Daryle and my other brother Daryle, were with the Arkansas Porkbelly and Hogcallers almanac. This question is for Mr. Byson. Mr. Byson, seeins as how there now be an empti staydum, do yousn feels that the Arkansas state web-footd relys will be helds there this summer?

Thats a good question Larry, Daryle and Daryle, I forsee no reason that such a fine sporting event cannot be hosted in Massey-Fergunson Stadium.

Peter Gammons, ESPN......Mr. Byson, how do you feel about the Red Sox's using a bullpen by committee?

{Commishioner Seling interrupts before Mr. Byson can answer}

Peter, I told you, this does not concern the Red Sox.

Sorry Commishioner, I have a none Red Sox question then.

Go Ahead

Thank you, Commishioner, why hasnt Major League Baseball hosted a World Series in Fenway Park?

Thats it, I cant deal with Mr. Gammons, this concludes the news conference.

{ESPNews now switches back to Mike Tirico.....}

Peter, interesting news conference, any last comments before we leave you?

Yes Mike, Do you feel that Roger Clemens should go into the Hall of Fame as a Yankee or a Red Sox?

Peter, your hopeless

[Koprnkc]

Welcome back to SPORTSCENTER..........I'm Mike Tirico......Were going live now to Kaufman Stadium, where the Kansas City Royals are holding a live newsconference to introduce their new owner, John "Hughes" Sistruck. Our own Peter Gammons is covering the event.

Peter?

Thank you Mike, I'm here live in Kansa City, at Kaufman Stadium, were we will be joined momentarily by present Royals owner David Glass, along with the new owner John "Hughes" Sistruck. Mr. Glass is now approaching the podium. Lets listen to his comments.

David Glass..... I want to thank you, the member of the media for being here today. I know your all busy so we will attempt to keep this short. I've been the owner of the Royals for several seasons now. I bought the team so that it could remain in Kansas City, out of respect for my dear friend Ewing Kaufman. But after several losing seasons, and with no hope of ever fielding an even slightly competive team due to the imbalance in the economics of Major League Baseball, and my failing health as a result of last season, I decided it was time to go. I first attempted to get a native Kansas Citian to purchase the team, however that failed, and I was forced to look outside. It appeared that Kansas City would lose its team, however, the man I'm about to introduce is a Native to Kansas City, a leader in his industry, and someone who desires to bring another WORLD SERIES to you fans! John "Hughes" Sistruck.

Thank you Mr. Glass. I will keep my comments short, then answer a few questions. My intentions are to win, plain and simple. If it takes money to win, well, I have money. If it takes dedication, then I and the team will have the dedication, we will win. I want to also say it is with great and profound joy that I return to Kansas City, my boyhood home, and I hope the fans will embrace the team and my ownership of the team. We have several new and exciting Ideas for the fans. Now, any questions?

Jason Whitlock, Kansas City Star.... Mr. Sistruck, is what are some of these exciting ideas? And will they include any of your present employees?

Good question Jason..... The other day, while looking for a place to live in the city, I was listening to a local sportstalk station, when I heard a young man mention the fact that the ballpark has enterainment for the children with a playground and such, but not much for the 20-25 crowd. I thought about this, and contacted HOK Sports to draw up the plans for a "Lounge" for the older crowd to enjoy some, err, hum, dancing along with the game.

Kevin Keitzman, Sports Radio WHB810..... Mr. Sistruck, how do you address the rumors that the only reason you purchased the team was to be able to draft your son, William Sistruck?

Kevin, those rumors are wrong, I purchased the team to bring a winner to Kansas City, and if we draft William, its strictly based on his baseball skills.

Peter Gammons, ESPN.... What do you think it will take for the Red Sox's to be competive this year?

Mr. Gammons, I'm not answering questions concerning the Red Sox's.

Peter Gammons, ESPN.... What do you think it will take for the BOSTON Red Sox's to be competive?

Mr. Gammons, again, I AM NOT answering questions concerning the Red Soxs.

Look, this concludes the news conference, thank you all for coming, theres some beautiful young women in the back room looking to take care of your everyneed, along with drinks, please, enjoy yourself.

Well Mike, that looks to conclude the newconference, I'm sending it back to you in studio.

{Overheard, just before the switch back to studio, Gammons muttering to himself "I sure hope one of the lovely young ladies are a Red Sox's fan, or I will have to leave with nothing else of interest there."}

Thanks Peter, another sterling interview on your part. We'll return after these messages............

[Koprnkc]

DATELINE: Kansas City Star Pg1
HEADLINE: Royals select owners son, 1st overall pick!

Today the Kansas City Royals selected William Sistruck as the first overall pick in Major League Baseball's free agent draft. Sistruck pitched last season for the Washington High School Wildcats, where he finished with a record of 9-0 and a ERA of 0.88. Sistruck finished his career for WHS with a record of 24-2, and a ERA of 1.04. He pitched 121 innings with 224 strikeouts and 23 walks. Sistruck also led his team to 3 state titles.

John "Hughes" Sistruck had this to say about the drafting of his son, William Sistruck, first overall, "I know that William will be coming in with alot of pressure, but I know he can handle being the anchor of the staff. This is just the type of pitcher this team needs to help it start winning. I fully expect him to hold down the #1 spot in the rotation for many years to come."

William Sistruck commented that it is a pleasure and a joy to pitch for his father, and he fully expects to win the ROY award in the upcoming season.

John Fink
{John Fink is a beat writer covering the Royals.}

[Koprnkc]

Your listening to Between the Lines, with your host Kevin Keitzman.

Welcome back everyone, were here live, on remote in Surprise, Arizona, spending alittle time with the Royals at their Spring-training home. And we have a special treat for you, were going to be speaking to William Sistrunk, the #1 draft pick of the Royals. William, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Kevin.

Now, lets see, your bio says your 6' and 205 lbs?

Correct.

And your a righty as we all know.

Yes.

Whats your best pitch, William?

I would have to say my Slider.

ahh, and how are you finding your first Major League training camp?

Good, little tougher then I thought it might be, but everyone has been gracious to me.

You wouldn't think that maybe being the owners son might have alittle to do that would you? Hahaha.

Haha, yeah, well, it might have just alittle influence, Kevin.

Last year, you lead your team to its 3rd state title in high school, and you were their team leader, do you expect to come in and be a team leader for the Royals?

I think this year, will be more of a learning experience. I mean, if I need to, I will call someone out if their not performing, but, I'm a rookie, and I need to take care of my job first.

Do you sense thou, that some of the players might resent you, or might dog it when you pitch?

I hope not Kevin, their paid professionals, and I hope they will do just as quality a job for me, as anyone else.

How do you answer the critics who say the only reason your the number one starter on this team is due to your father owning it?

What can I say, nothing will change their opinions of the situation.

What about the Rumors that your father paid for Blair County High school to have a new football stadium, in exchange for them throwing the state game?

I would say their lying, I was in a zone that day, as evidence by my perfect game, and 20 strikeouts.

Riiiiggghhhttt.

What are you saying Kevin?

I'm saying that their starting pitcher throws mid-90s, with a major league slider, and suddenly, the day of the big game, he can barely touch 80.

Everyone knows that he had a triceps strain, Kevin.

Hmm, so what your saying is, even thou he was injured, he went out there anyway, and your team, and you, benefitted from his, gutsy performance, or lack thereof?

No, what I'm saying is this interview is through, I dont have to defend what was accomplished on the field.

Well, then you have no problem with me asking why, everytime you pitched, the other teams best players always managed to be sitting on the bench, and their school just happened to recieve some time of donation, which just happened to come from your fathers company?

Thats it, this interview is over.

{Sistrunk throws down his head phones and storms off, knocking over a bat boy in the process}

Well, there you have it folks, Kansas CIty is in for a rough ride in my opinion with William Sistrunk on the mound. We will find out in just 2 weeks how good William Sistrunk really is. Stay tuned for more Between the Lines after these messages......

[Koprnkc]

DATELINE: Kansas City Star Sports C1
HEADLINE: Sistrunk now stands 0-5!

One has to wonder why William Sistrunk continues to be considered the Ace of the Staff. Well, one doesnt have to wonder, we all know why, cause daddy owns the team. Sistrunk has now lost his 5th decision, after falling to the Yankess 12-3. Once again, the opposition used him for batting practice scoring 8 runs in 5.1 innings. Needless to say, its been a rough month for the rookie, as he has only pitched well in one game out of 6 starts. Manager Tony Pena has this to say about his Ace rookie "He's struggling right now, but we have to look on the bright side, he leads the team in strike outs with 25 in only 33 innings. He will be an ACE on this staff, and you can take that to the bank." Sistrunk refused to comment on his performence, or lack there of, at this time.

Career Pitching Stats


Year G GS W L SV ERA IP HA R ER BB K CG SHO
2004 6 6 0 5 0 10.96 33.2 60 46 41 18 25 0 0
Total 6 6 0 5 0 11.18 33.0 60 46 41 18 25 0 0

[Koprnkc]

{The following cell phone call is over heard by Eric Dijon, third baseman for the Kansas City Royals.}

Dad, its me, Will.

{Pause}

Not good. Listen dad, why did you have to buy this worthless f**king team? I'm the only one on it worth a damn. I should be undefeated, instead I havent won a single game yet due to these incompetent fools.

{Pause}

Yes, dad, I know its your childhood team.

{Pause}

Yeah, I know. Hey I have some good news, thou, Im seeing this hot red head, Mia Dijon's her name. Good is she great in the sack.

{Pause}

Eric Dijon's wife? Your kidding me. Hahaha, well, what he dont know wont hurt him will it. Talk to you soon dad. Bye.



Year G GS W L SV ERA IP HA R ER BB K CG SHO
2004 14 14 0 12 0 8.84 77.1 137 97 76 45 48 0 0