A Season For Ham - FOFC Baseball, 2004

[Coffee Warlord]

Without further adou, let me introduce you to the FOFC's who came with us for the initial 2004 season draft, and a brief blurb
about them. Note all but 1 of our players are young enough to be considered prospects, and their ratings are all (for those who've played OOTP) are 'blue stars'. The 1 elder player is noted.

NOTE: Player locations have been updated to reflect where they are now at the 2004 all-star break.

<b>C - Qwikshot Jones, Seattle Mariners</b>
Undrafted Free Agent
5* rating
Has made it to the Show (Starting C)

<b>1B - Kevin Mitchell, New York Yankees</b>
6th round draft pick (176th overall)
4.5* rating (#35 overall prospect)
Currently at AAA Columbus Clippers

<b>1B - Bobby Mask, Cleveland Indians</b>
10th round draft pick (300th overall)
4.5* rating (#24 overall prospect)
Currently at AAA Buffalo Bisons

<b>2B - Jeeber Mack, Anaheim Angels</b>
10th round draft pick (277th overall)
5* rating (#15 overall prospect)
Has made it to the Show (Backup 2B)

<b>2B - T.E. Almighty, New York Yankees</b>
1st round draft pick (3rd overall, 2004 amateur draft)
5* rating (#6 overall prospect)
Has made it to the Show (Starting 3B)

<b>3B - Daniel McCarney, Milwaukee Brewers</b>
10th round draft pick (291st overall)
4* rating (#9 overall prospect)
Currently at AAA Indianapolis Indians

<b>3B - Travis Elkin, Tampa Bay Devil Rays (heh)</b>
7th round draft pick (194th overall)
5* rating (ML - no longer ranked)
Has made it to the Show (Starting 3B)

<b>3B - Arthur Fonzerelli, Baltimore Orioles</b>
9th round draft pick (250th overall)
5* rating (#1 overall prospect)
Currently at AAA Ottawa Lynx

<b>SS - Bryan 'Pure Havok' Allison, Cincinatti Reds</b>
7th round draft pick (186th overall)
4.5* rating (ML - no longer ranked)
Has made it to the Show (Backup SS)

<b>LF - Danny Wilson, Philadelphia Phillies</b>
6th round draft pick (172 overall)
4* rating (ML - no longer ranked)
Has made it to the Show (Starting LF)

<b>CF - Larry McGillicuddy, Boston Red Sox</b>
4th round draft pick (103rd overall)
5* rating (#6 overall prospect)
Has made it to the Show (Starting CF)

<b>CF - Kyle Kappe, Chicago White Sox</b>
7th round draft pick (191st overall)
5* rating (ML - no longer ranked)
Has made it to the Show (Starting CF)

<b>CF - Daniel Ertmann, Boston Red Sox</b>
1st round draft pick (2nd overall) (2004 amateur draft)
5* rating (#9 overall prospect)
Has made it to the Show (Backup CF)

<b>RF - John Timmons, Oakland A's</b>
12th round draft pick (348th overall)
5* rating (#13 overall prospect)
Curently at AAA Sacramento River Cats

<b>RF - Sandman Dormir, Milwaukee Brewers</b>
9th round draft pick (261st overall)
3* rating (#97 overall prospect)
Currently at AAA Indianapolis Indians

<b>SP - Kevin Donnelly, St. Louis Cardnials</b>
1st round draft pick (15th overall)
5* rating (ML - no longer ranked)
Has made it to the Show (#1 Pitcher)
2004 All Star Pitcher!

<b>SP - Chorro Magistral, Seattle Mariners</b>
6th round draft pick (159th overall)
3* rating (unranked prospect)
Currently at AAA Tacoma Rainiers

<b>SP - Mike Tokunaga, Chicago White Sox</b>
5th round draft pick (131st overall)
5* rating (#12 overall prospect)
Currently at AAA Charlotte Knights

<b>SP - Rob Nielsen, Cincinatti Reds</b>
2nd round draft pick (36th overall)
5* rating (ML - no longer ranked)
Has made it to the Show (#1 Pitcher)

<b>CL - Cole Breeze, Anaheim Angels</b>
13th round draft pick (367th overall)
4* rating (unranked prospect)
Currently at AAA Salt Lake Stingers

[rjolley]

Wait, I get picked in the 9th round and I'm in the show already? Is the Brewers organization that depleted?

[mckerney]

You'd think I might be able to get out of Wisconsin, but no :(.


My player better demand a trade to Anaheim.

[rjolley]

I hope mine requests a trade to Chicago.

[Coffee Warlord]

Oh, by the way, all newcomers can use this thread to signup now, and beat the June draft rush!

[illinifan999]

Just makin sure you got mine in the first thread. Very next post after you said ALL POSTS AFTER THIS ONE WILL BE IN NEXT SEASON"S DRAFT. ;) I think my timing was perfect.

[Coffee Warlord]

<b>April's Carnage</b>

Kevin Mitchell - Killing the ball at AA, hitting .299, with an OPS of .977.

Bobby Mask - Not bad, could be better. .252/7/12 at AAA.

Jeeber Mack - Impressive. .281/7/21 after a month of AAA.

Daniel McCarney - Welp. We can't all be good. On 4/29/2004, you tore your groin muscle, and are done for the season. You were hitting .277 with 3 home runs, 15 driven in, and 6 stolen bases. Wait till next year, slick.

Travis Elkin - Welcome to the Bigs. After 17 unimpressive games in AAA, Tampa Bay called you up. You got your first career hit 4/19 off Mariano Garcia of Seattle, and are hitting .243/0/2 after 10 games.

Arthur Fonzerelli - You know, for such a highly touted prospect, hitting .238 with a .632 OPS at AAA is...well, bad.

Bryan Allison - Remember what I just said about bad? Well, you are not impressing anyone yet at the Big Club. .188 batting average, .489 OPS...yeah. Let's hope you do better. I'm on your team, remember, and I'd like some run support.

Danny Wilson - Wow. Hitting .333, with an .871 OPS at the Bigs at the tender age of 20. Nice.

Larry McGillicuddy - Not too shabby either with the big boys. Hitting .272, with 13 steals after a month of ball.

Kyle Kappe - Nice work, rook. Hitting .262 with 6 driven with the Southsiders.

John Timmons - Let's just say this...28 hits, 24 K's. That's a lot of K's. I'd work on that whilst you're in AAA.

Sandman Dormir - Yessir, you know how to contribute to a ballclub. A massive .191 batting average, .194 OBP, .265 slugging. WHOOOOOOOO! :)

Kevin Donnelly - 3.54 ERA, won your first ever outing on Opening Day no less, currently at 4-0. Very nice.

Chorro Magistral - Yeoooooooch. 6.49 ERA at AAA. Lemme say again. Yeoooooooch.

Mike Togunaka - Double the Yeooooch. 1-3 with a 5.91 ERA, down at Charlotte.

Rob Nielsen - Not bad at all. 3.89 ERA, 3-1 in 6 starts. Though the 9 home runs allows after the first month...it's the wind, I tell you!

Cole Breeze - Welcome to AAA! After an ERA of .75 in 12 innings in AA, you're on your way to the AAA club.

[Coffee Warlord]

And yeah, I got yours illini.

[Qwikshot]

Qwikshot Jones wants to play ball!!!!

[illinifan999]

Torn groind muscle! Ow! That might hurt just a wee bit.

[Coffee Warlord]

<b>2004 May ... I have another update?</b>

Last one of the evening, as the June draft is ready, and I've done enough for one night anyway.

Kevin Mitchell - Still in AA, still doing well. 281/9/34.

Bobby Mask - Welcome to the Big Show! Well...okay, you've only been in 13 games, so we'll not pass judgement on your dismal 231/1/6 just yet. First career hit 5/2, off Robert Korth (SEA).

Jeeber Mack - 267/9/39 at AAA. You're shaping up to be solid.

Daniel McCarney - You have no groin. Still.

Travis Elkin - Marked improvement, and you're still with the big club. Hitting .250 now, and you got your 1st (and only) career home run vs Minnesota.

Arthur Fonzerelli - I remain unimpressed. .240/8/33 after 52 games in AAA is not the numbers I'd expect out of a top prospect.

Bryan Allison - 25 hits, 25 strikeouts. Rob Nielsen is not happy with his teammate.

Danny Wilson - Rookie of the Year? .289 batting average, OBP of .423...wow.

Larry McGillicuddy - Gettin' better. 2nd in the league in stolen bases, with 20, but with an OBP of only .284, you need some work.

Kyle Kappe - In the mold of McGillicuddy, Kappe is challening for the SB title at 16, as well as ROY honors, hitting .279 with 18 driven in.

John Timmons - Apparently you went out drinking a little much, and broke your nose in a bar fight, sitting out 5 games. Not bad perfomance wise though, going 289/9/39. You're still day to day, but I'm thinking you might get called up soon.

Sandman Dormir - I think the FOFC pitchers can hit better than you at this point, Mr .191 avg, .213 OBP, and .253 SLG. As good news, you have 143 putouts without a single error. You CAN field.

Kevin Donnelly - Cy Young hopeful here. Leading the league in K's with an amazing 143 (in only 82.2 IP!), but a mediocre 4.14 ERA is worrying.

Chorro Magistral - They obviously didn't listen to me when I said that 6+ ERA was not good. You got called up, and are the proud owner of an 0-2 record with an ERA of 9.26 with Seattle.

Mike Tokunaga - OUCH! Ruptured Bicep Tendon, you'll be sitting out for 5-6 more weeks. Still sitting on a lofty 5.81 ERA in AAA ball, so let's hope this injury knocks some sense into you.

Rob Nielsen - 3rd in the league in K's with 100, with a record of 6-3, and a 4.21 ERA. Not bad for the 24 year old southpaw. As a note...all but one of his 12 hr's allowed are off rightys. Eep.

Cole Breeze - Guess you weren't real liked in AAA. After 3 innings of work in AAA, you're back to dominating in AA ball, with a 2.64 ERA, and 3 saves. You'll be damned good with a couple seasons under your belt.

<b>Around the League</b>
AL East
---
Boston (33-21)
Tampa Bay!??! (33-21)
Toronto (27-27)
Baltimore (26-28)
New York (25-29)

AL Central
---
Detroit!!? (31-23)
Cleveland (29-25)
Kansas City (28-26)
Minnesota (24-30)
Chicago (18-36)

AL West
---
Oakland (31-23)
Texas (27-27)
Anaheim (25-29)
Seattle (21-33)

NL East
---
Montreal (28-26)
Florida (25-29)
Atlanta (24-30)
New York (24-30)
Philadelphia (17-37)

NL Central
---
Cincinatti (35-19)
Houston (29-25)
Pittsburgh (29-25)
St. Louis (28-26)
Milwaukee (27-27)
Chicago (26-28)

NL West
---
Colorado (32-22)
Los Angeles (31-23)
San Francisco (27-27)
Arizona (26-28)
San Diego (24-30)

[Superman=#54]

ITS CHORRO TIMEEEEE!!!

Don't listen to the propaganda that the Seattle Mariners stat books are. WHY???

CAUSE ITS CHORROOOOO TIMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I'm still really young so I am not worried right now because eventually it will be....

CHORRROOOOO TIMMMMMEEEE!!!!!!!

¡Estaré en el Vestíbulo de la Fama porque soy tiempo de chorro!

[rjolley]

Must be Milwaukee rubbin off on me. We Chicagoland players never play well in Milwaukee. :-)

[Havok]

dammit.... im playing like shit!! :(

i'll try to get ya that run support robby

[DeToxRox]

That's right, I will be Rookie of the Year.. Too bad the Phillies blow.. Oh well, I still love the fans, I throw baseballs at neighborhood children.

[mckerney]

Ow... http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/sad/sad03.gif

[Fonzie]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
Arthur Fonzerelli - I remain unimpressed. .240/8/33 after 52 games in AAA is not the numbers I'd expect out of a top prospect.


Hey! I can't focus on my hitting if I don't look cool, and the manager down here in Ottawa won't let me wear my jacket out onto the field! I have to wear some sort of girlie pajamas. How am I supposed to look cool wearin' that?!

I think I may have to summon that manager into my "office"...

:p

[Coffee Warlord]

<b>The FOFC Baseball Herald, May 2004</b>

Yessir, the kids are barely old enough to drink, in fact, most of them aren't, but they are already acting like money grubbing primadonnas.

The future is not bright for our All-American image, let me tell you.

[mckerney]

I'm old enough to sell alcohol so I can make whatever demands I want! Now get that girl in here to massage my injury.

[Travis]

Go Tampa Go! I'll take a .250 BA if we can make the playoffs.

[Aesyrqwe]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
John Timmons - Apparently you went out drinking a little much, and broke your nose in a bar fight, sitting out 5 games. Not bad perfomance wise though, going 289/9/39. You're still day to day, but I'm thinking you might get called up soon.


Ill admit it..

Drinking makes me play better..
Maybe I'll write a book about it..

-Aes-

[mckerney]

I'm now holding out and refusing to play the rest of the season until Milwaukee hires Jennie Finch to be the personal rehabilitation trainer at the AAA level. The current guy, 'Big Mike', is kinda scaring me... :(

[Breeze]

Man I feel like a yo-yo.

[Blade]

Oh man...what the Hell is up with me? Maybe sitting and watching for a bit while I heal will get my stuff going again...

I hope...:confused:

[Coffee Warlord]

<b>2004 June Amateur Draft</b>

Two new FOFC players enter the fray in this 7 round draft.

<b>2B - T.E. Almighty, New York Yankees</b>
Chosen in 1st round (3rd overall)
5* rating
Starts in the Big Show, starting 3B (you had some skill at 3rd)

<b>CF - Daniel Ertmann, Boston Red Sox</b>
Chosen in 1st round (2nd overall)
5* rating
Starts in Big Show, reserve CF

Both of you got INSANE rolls on the dice, though I'd say T.E. Almighty was a tad better. Let's see how you boys do straight out of college into the big league.

[Coffee Warlord]

<b>All Star Break</b>

Congratualations to SP Kevin Donnelly of the St. Louis Cardnials, the lone FOFC representative to the 2004 All Star game!

His notable moments this season...

1st career win, 4/1/2004 (Opening Day)
1st career hit, 4/6/2004 off Alvaro Casillas (PIT)
Struck out 15 vs Pittsburgh on 4/6/2004
Struck out 15 vs Cincinatti on 5/6/2004
1st career home run on 5/25/2004, off Michael Turner (CIN)
Struck out 16 vs Montreal on 6/21/2004

Currently leads the league in strikeouts with an AMAZING 200. This is at the all-star break, mind you. Could we be seeing a new K record?

Current line...

9-2, 3.77 ERA, 199.1 IP, 95 HA, 53 RA, 50 ER, 44 BB, .213 OAVG, 200 K

Wow. SPEECH! FOFC UNITED PRESS DEMANDS A SPEECH!

I'm compiling a stats page for the all star break which should be up by tomorrow. In the first post of this thread, all FOFC player's current locations in their respective clubs have been noted, and by the time you read this, the overall prospect ratings & stars will be updated as well.

[Qwikshot]

Originally posted by Qwikshot
Qwikshot Jones wants to play ball!!!! \

Qwikshot Jones gets no love man...

[Coffee Warlord]

Qwikshot Jones forgot to put any sort of stats in. (I guess I shoulda mentioned that, but this can be fixed.)

Give me your vitals, and I'll throw you into the fray as a free agent.

[Fonzie]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
<b>All Star Break</b>

Current line...

9-2, 3.77 ERA, 199.1 IP, 95 HA, 53 RA, 50 ER, 44 BB, .213 OAVG, 200 K


Is that IP total right? That's a whole mess o' innings to have by the break. Maybe it was 99.1?

Unless, of course, the Cardinals' manager is a Jim Leyland/Dusty Baker-type who loves to pile innings on young pitchers' arms. Then 199.1 might be about right.

Either way, the 200k by the break is most impressive. Good show, Kevin!

[MrBug708]

Go Kyle!!! Too bad I'm on the worst team

[JeeberD]

OK Mr Breeze, it's up to you and me to make the Angels respectable. Of course, I guess we gotta get to the bigs before we can make a different...

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
<b>The FOFC Baseball Herald, May 2004</b>

Yessir, the kids are barely old enough to drink, in fact, most of them aren't, but they are already acting like money grubbing primadonnas.

The future is not bright for our All-American image, let me tell you.

Dola-

Hey now, I don't care about the money. Just give me more HAM!!!!!!


Edited for dola

[mckerney]

Can I join you on the Angels JeeberD? I really hate it here in Milwaukee. When God punished Bartleby and Loki by forcing them to send eternity in Wisconsin in the movie Dogma, He was being far too cruel. I just want to get out of this icy fucking hell...

I'm sorry, I have to go cry and listen to Pedro the Lion now :(

[Celeval]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
<b>All Star Break</b>
Congratualations to SP Kevin Donnelly of the St. Louis Cardnials, the lone FOFC representative to the 2004 All Star game!
Wow. SPEECH! FOFC UNITED PRESS DEMANDS A SPEECH!


*clears throat*

I'd like to say that being named an All-Star is a great honor, and I'm just happy to be here. You know, sometimes you've got to take one for the team. Need to play 'em one game at a time. A good friend of mine used to say, "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." Thank about that for a while.

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by Fonzie
Is that IP total right? That's a whole mess o' innings to have by the break. Maybe it was 99.1?

Unless, of course, the Cardinals' manager is a Jim Leyland/Dusty Baker-type who loves to pile innings on young pitchers' arms. Then 199.1 might be about right.

Either way, the 200k by the break is most impressive. Good show, Kevin!

The IP total was right. Keep in mind, Kevin actually starts as our FOFC elder. He's 28, which is part of the reason why he's such a monster. His 'real' stats are closer to his potential ratings, since he's got a lot less time for development.

[Celeval]

So, am I basically averaging 8 innings a start, then? :)

[Coffee Warlord]

Well, you DID say you can pitch for about 80 years. You have no velocity and max duration, so your arm doesn't get tired. :)

[JeeberD]

He has no velocity yet has 200 K's at the All Star break?

Damn, that must be one wicked curve ball...

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by mckerney
Can I join you on the Angels JeeberD? I really hate it here in Milwaukee. When God punished Bartleby and Loki by forcing them to send eternity in Wisconsin in the movie Dogma, He was being far too cruel. I just want to get out of this icy fucking hell...

I'm sorry, I have to go cry and listen to Pedro the Lion now :(

Dola-

Poor mckerney, poor poor mckerney.

Maybe your plea will be heard by the wise and powerful God of Ham (...coughCWcough...) and a trade will be initiated...

Anaheim is beautiful this time of year. Plus we get free season passes to Disneyland.

Ahh, it's great to be an Angel... :)

[Qwikshot]

What vital stats do you need CW?

[mckerney]

Is it true that I can get you to trade me Coffee? Oh God of Ham, though you are said to be a vengeful god, they say you are a sympathetic one as well. And if you've ever been to Wisconsin you know, well you know it really sucks here. They even just cut off my supply of vicodin, something about it being addictive. Please do what you can to send me away from this place.

You need to get me out of here
I apologize for anything I've done onto you
I'm dying, decomposing, thinking of [ham]
And if you saw this place, you'd want me to save you too

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by Qwikshot
What vital stats do you need CW?

Name: Qwikshot Jones
Country:
DOB:
Height:
Weight:
Number:
Position:

Type O' Player you wanna be:

[Coffee Warlord]

And the High Lord of Ham says, since a player is demanding a trade...

McKerney, pick 3 numbers between 1 and 28. Your fate will be decided tonight.

[mckerney]

5


8


19

[mckerney]

MC is very glad that his trade demands are being listened to. Where ever he winds up, MC cannot be sure that he'll be happy, but MC definately believe it will be better than Milwaukee.

[Celeval]

Originally posted by JeeberD
He has no velocity yet has 200 K's at the All Star break?

Damn, that must be one wicked curve ball...

Knuckleball, baby.

Kevin

[Coffee Warlord]

I shudder to think what your contract demands are gonna be.

[mckerney]

MC says that if Kevin Donnelly ever gives him any of that Knuckleball shit he's throwing down and charging the mound. That is not how MC thinks baseballs should be thrown. MC doesn't care how many people you strike out, he's still going to kick your ass.

[MrBug708]

I heard that Celeval is a cross between Richie Sexton and Kyle Farnsworth

[JeeberD]

Damn, I just realized that I'm trying to help a punk that has no groin get traded to my team. I'm sure that by next season he'll be down to a two star prospect and labor in the minors for 15 years...

Better work hard in rehab, MC. Better work really hard...

[Coffee Warlord]

Hmm.

Should I rename Daniel to Daniella?

[Coffee Warlord]

Sorry mccarney. Noone wants you since you're injured for the season.

And...I was gonna post everyone's 1st half stats online today, but of course, my server's connection has been down all night. So...you guys get to wait. :)

[Coffee Warlord]

AND last for the evening.

I got bored, and Qwikshot Jones is now a fine Catcher, who was signed to a minimal free agent contract with the Seattle Mariners

[Coffee Warlord]

I lied. Simmed through the trade deadline, since I couldn't post stats like I wanted to. I wasn't going to say anything, but...just to keep you on your toes...

<B>Someone got traded!</b>

Yessir, 2 computer teams got together, and decided that one of our FOFC Prospects was better off elsewhere.

So, one of you now calls...Florida home. Welcome to the *cough* Marlins.

Who was the unlucky victim? Tune in tomorrow!

[JeeberD]

Dear god no. Don't let it be me...

Hmmm...if it is me maybe the Angles will forget to revoke my Disney season pass and I can still go to Disney World whenever I want...

Hurrah!

[Blade]

Heh...doesn't matter if it was me...I have been throwing nothing but tater balls it seems!

[Travis]

No, I can't leave TB now, we're winning, and who knows when that'll happen again!

[DeToxRox]

I wanna' stay a Philly! We had so much fun beating homeless people outside of the Vet before games.

[Nyarlahotep]

Name: Nyar Lahotep
Country: Unknown (or where ever)
DOB: 6/25/82
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 197
Number: 66
Position: SP

Type O' Player you wanna be: power pitcher

[Fonzie]

I would like some ham please. :)

[mckerney]

Shortly after the announcement of whoever the lucky bastard is that's playing, expect MC to hold a press conference in Milwaukee.

[mckerney]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Dear god no. Don't let it be me...

Hmmm...if it is me maybe the Angles will forget to revoke my Disney season pass and I can still go to Disney World whenever I want...

Hurrah!

That'd be cool. Then you could totally pick up tons of 14 and 15 year olds in the offseason. And after reading the general forum, I hear they all dress really skanky! :D

[JeeberD]

Sweet! Just gotta bribe the cops really good so that I don't go to jail.

Jail isn't any fun... :(

[JeeberD]

Dola-

CW is slipping. We were supposed to find out who got traded today.... :)

[Coffee Warlord]

Heh, sorry. I got kinda sidetracked by a game of Colonization. :)

<b>The Trade!</b>

T.E. Almighty did not last long with the New York Yankees. The 3rd overall pick in the 2004 ameteur draft was traded 7/26/2004 to, you guessed it, the Florida Marlins.

Going to the Yankees were 2 players, the first a top flight pitcher by the name of Hilario Alonso, the second a poor 1B prospect named David Rosanjin, who is currently toiling in A ball.

[Coffee Warlord]

AND!

Stat's are up! Finally got them all moved over!

http://www.officepimps.com/baseball/

Edit: And I wouldn't pay a whole lot of attention to your talent ratings/current stats. Anaheim's scout sucks, and they're the team I'm keeping all the FOFC'rs on player tracker with.

[illinifan999]

Like how I made my way up to that #2 spot on Boston! Saw 2 POG's as well. :D

[mckerney]

In the depths of the press room at Miller Park, the press gathers around in the early morning hours, waiting for Brewers prospect Daniel McCarney to finally appear. After several hours of waiting, McCarney finally arrives before the press. He enters the room holding a half empty litter of Captain Morgan and wearing a Galesburg Avengers jersey. After sitting down he removes a handgun from his the waist of his pants and sets it down in front of him on the table. After several minutes of him sitting there, a brave reporter finally asks, "Why exactly did you need to call us all here on early on a Friday morning?"

Shit, it's Friday? And what the hell do you mean early morning?

It's 2 AM.

Fuck. Well, you see, I'd been watching reruns of Fragle Rock on the stadiums jumbotron, and I really wasn't aware about the time. Sometimes MC loses track when he drinks.

Why are you even here? Should you be rehabbing your injury with the Indianapolis Indians?

What the hell are you talking about?

Aren't you out for the season with an injury?

Oh, the groin thing. Fuck rehab. MC doesn't need rehab. And the Indians, I haven't been there is a while. They were all a bunch of dicks and I finally realized that by playing well I'd just get sent up to Milwaukee, and MC really doesn't wanna go there. Damn, that would truly suck for MC.

What have you been doing then?

Oh, I've been around. I was in Fargo at The Afoci's party for a while, that was pretty cool. Then I went to watch the Galesburg Avengers cup game last night, they even gave me this jersey. Also I was in Anaheim trying to sign there as a free agent. Other stuff too, you know how it goes when you have a bad groin.

Huh? You wouldn't be able to sign with the Angels, you're under contract with the Brewers.

Yeah, they told me that too, but I called the commissioner and he mentioned something about league rules, but I'm sure things will be cleared up soon. I should be in the Angels starting lineup within a week. Two tops.

But aren't you still injured? From the looks of how you came in you can hardly walk.

I really don't forsee the whole groin injury being a problem. Just trust me, I'll be starting there soon.

Whatever. Also how'd you get here if you were in watching the Avengers in California last night?

What? How the hell should I know. I've been spending a lot of time with the Captain here, and his friend White Russian, so the last couple months are kinda hazy. To hell with that though, why the hell are we all here anyway?

Uh, we assumed you had something to talk about, you're the one who called us here.

Oh, yeah, that. It's about the trade with New York.

You mean the trade that sent Hilario Alonso and David Rosanjin to New York and T.E. Almighty to Florida?

What? You mean I wasn't traded? I'm still a member of the Brewers? Fuck that!

So that's why you held this press conference, because you thought you were traded? I thought no one wanted you this year because you were injured.

I talked to that son-of-a-bitch owner and told him I fucking hate Milwaukee, I fucking hate his team, and that if he didn't want to get me out of here he could go fuck himself. MC is very upset about this. Fuck the Brewers! Fuck Milwaukee! There's nothing but fat chicks and skanks in this town. Someone get me the fuck out of here!


By this point, security had finally been alerted as to what was happening, and proceeded to drag McCarney out of the stadium and into a police car waiting outside. He threw the empty bottle onto the ground as they started to drag him away, though the whole way to jail he was screaming about wanting his 'fucking gun' as he put it. He stayed in jail three hours before he was finally able to secure the money to bail himself out. After his release he got a cab to take him to the airport, and to a plane waiting to take him to his holy land, his personal Mecca, Anaheim!

[Fonzie]

Thanks for the ham, CW!

I must also say that I'm pleased to see I did alright in AAA - .271/26/101 ain't too shabby for a 19 yo.

And congratulations to Mr. Donnelly on a fine season - 351 Ks! Wow!

[mckerney]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Damn, I just realized that I'm trying to help a punk that has no groin get traded to my team. I'm sure that by next season he'll be down to a two star prospect and labor in the minors for 15 years...

Better work hard in rehab, MC. Better work really hard...

Looks like your groin ain't so great either, buddy.


Injured on 6/8/2004 with a Pulled Groin Muscle, out for 1-2 weeks...

[Blade]

Ouch! Those stats are brutal to look at...how am I even a pitcher in the minors?

[rjolley]

Yeah, ouch is right. Is Milwaukee so bad that I'm still in the majors and not in the minors starting every day and developing?

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by mckerney
Looks like your groin ain't so great either, buddy.


Injured on 6/8/2004 with a Pulled Groin Muscle, out for 1-2 weeks...

1 to 2 weeks ain't the same as an entire season. Hell, I'm already healed and have made it up to the bigs. Hittin' .500 even (so what if it's just after two games)...

Now hurry your ass up and get to Anaheim. We got some partying to do with our mutual buddy White Russian...

[mckerney]

I had planned on posting part 2 by now, but I worked 25 hours in the last 3 days and putting up with angry people who want their booze really takes the creativity right out of you.

[JeeberD]

bump?

[mckerney]

set?

[Coffee Warlord]

I plan on finishing the first season tonight, so look for at least a brief update (standings, league awards, etc) this evening, with full stats and my writeup tomorrow.

I had a fun filled weekend of moving furniture, doing laundry, and mowing my yard. What weekend, I ask myself. :)

[JeeberD]

SPIKE!

Thanks CW. I'll be looking forward to that update...

Oh, and that's one of the things I love about living in an apartment. No lawn to mow... :D

[thealmighty]

If you want to try my yard to remind yourself how much mowing sucks, JeeberD, come on over. It is just down the road a bit. :)

[Coffee Warlord]

<b>2004 Season Recap - Abridged Version</b>

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox, winning the World Series in 7 games over the Colorado Rockies!

Not only that, our inagural season featured 2 FOFC'rs winning the big one. Larry McGillicuddy had an excellent postseason, batting .325, with 7 doubles, 1 triple, and an amazing 11 stolen bases in October!

Daniel Ertmann didn't falter in the postseason either, putting up a .297 batting average, and driving in 11. Nice work, folks!

Rookie of the Year? Since everyone in the league is a rookie, I wasn't expecting any FOFC'r to get it.

Well, except Mr. Strikeout. Yep, Kevin Donnelly finished with <b>394</b> strikeouts, and won Rookie of the Year honors. Amazing.

Other than that, no Gold Gloves or other awards for our boys.

The good news is, all but 1 FOFC'r made it to the pros at one point or another during the season. The lone minor leaguer? Surprise surprise, the man with no groin, Daniel McCarney.

<b>2004 Final Standings</b>

NL East
---
Atlanta 82-80
New York 74-88
Florida 73-89
Montreal 73-89
Philadelphia 53-109 (ouch!)

NL Central
---
Cincinatti 96-66
Milwaukee 88-74
Chicago 87-75
St. Louis 85-77
Houston 82-80
Pittsburgh 80-82

NL West
---
Colorado 97-65
Los Angeles 94-68
San Francisco 84-78
Arizona 78-84
San Diego 70-92

AL East
---
Tampa Bay 94-68 (I still disbelieve)
Boston 92-70
Baltimore 88-74
Toronto 81-81
New York 74-88

AL Central
---
Detroit 85-77
Kansas City 84-78
Minnesota 81-81
Cleveland 75-87
Chicago 64-98

AL West
---
Texas 89-73
Oakland 85-77
Seattle 72-90
Anaheim 70-92

<b>Divisonal Playoffs</b>
Tampa Bay over Detroit, 3-2
Boston over Texas, 3-1
Colorado over Atlana, 3-2
Cincinatti over Los Angeles, 3-1

<b>League Championship</b>
Boston over Tampa Bay, 4-2
Colorado over Cincinatti, 4-3

<b>World Series</b>
Boston over Colorado, 4-3


<b>Best of the Best - FOFC Leaders</b>

We're going by Major League stats only here.

<b>Batting Average</b> (minimum 200 at bats)
.307 - Kyle Kappe
.289 - Daniel Ertmann
.283 - Travis Elkin

<b>Home Runs</b>
20 - Larry McGillicuddy
12 - Travis Elkin
11 - TE Almighty

<b>RBI's</b>
66 - Travis Elkin
64 - Larry McGillicuddy
56 - TE Almighty

<b>Doubles</b>
31 - Larry McGillicuddy
22 - Travis Elkin
17 - Kyle Kappe

<b>Runs Scored</b>
85 - Larry McGillicuddy
83 - Kyle Kappe
71 - Danny Wilson

<b>Stolen Bases</b>
58 - Larry McGillicuddy
41 - Kyle Kappe
33 - Danny Wilson

<b>Walks</b>
71 - Danny Wilson
48 - Travis Elkin
44 - Kyle Kappe

<b>Strikeouts</b>
102 - Danny Wilson
95 - Travis Elkin
87 - TE Almighty

<b>Erned Run Average</b> (only 3 have signifigant playing time)
3.66 - Rob Nielsen
3.82 - Kevin Donnelly
9.40 - Mike Tokunaga

<b>Wins</b>
15 - Kevin Donnelly
15 - Rob Nielsen
1 - Mike Tokunaga

<b>Innings Pitched</b>
230.2 - Kevin Donnelly
226.0 - Rob Nielsen
60.1 - Mike Tokunaga

<b>Strikeouts</b>
394 - Kevin Donnelly
314 - Rob Nielsen
27 - Mike Tokunaga

<b>Batting Avg vs Righties</b>
.185 - Kevin Donnelly
.237 - Rob Nielsen
.274 - Mike Tokunaga

<b>Batting Avg vs Lefties</b>
.150 - Rob Nielsen
.259 - Kevin Donnelly
.379 - Mike Tokunaga (ow)


<b>Coffee Warlord's Ham's of the Year</b>

Awarded to the Top Hitter and the Top Pitcher of the 2004 Season!

Hitter's Ham: Kyle Kappe, Chicago White Sox.

Tough choice between him and McGillicuddy, but Kappe put up very good numbers on an absolutely terrible team. Batting average over .300, .741 OPS...nice.

Pitcher's Ham: Kevin Donnelly, St. Louis Cardnials

Need I even bother explaining?

Full stats get uploaded tomorrow most likely, and I'll run the pre-season after I get that done. I *think* everyone is auto-resigned except for Qwikshot Jones, who came on as a free agent.

And Nyar, you'll be in the 2005 ameteur draft, just to let you know. I made an exception for Qwikshot since he did hollar, but got left out due to miscommunication.

[Fonzie]

Originally posted by thealmighty
If you want to try my yard to remind yourself how much mowing sucks, JeeberD, come on over. It is just down the road a bit. :)

Wait a sec...heaven is near Denton, Texas? :eek:

[Nyarlahotep]

*Nyar Lahotep puts out a memo to all his friends and family to be sure they are with him at draft time*

[Fonzie]

Way to go Mr. Donnelly! And even wayer to go Boston Red Sox!

edited to remove dola

[Superman=#54]

The NL Central looks like a hella tough division. Also what the hell happened to Chorro Time!

[mckerney]

Originally posted by Fonzie
Wait a sec...heaven is near Denton, Texas? :eek:

It's a little bit to the west, but yeah, they're close.

[Travis]

Wow, talk about Tampa surpassing expectations. Now if I can just cut down on the strikeouts and get the power going, I can be a real contribution to a team that appears to have turned the corner.

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by mckerney
It's a little bit to the west, but yeah, they're close.

You must be talking about the new water park here. I've heard that it's really nice, especially since the lifeguards can walk on the water...

Damn MC, you sure you want to come to Anaheim? The Brew Crew had a much better year than my Angels did this year...

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by Superman=#54
The NL Central looks like a hella tough division. Also what the hell happened to Chorro Time!

Chorro Time.

2 starts in the major leagues.

2 losses in the major leagues.

Earned Run Average of 9.26, in 11 innings pitched in the major leagues. 12 runs allowed, all earned. 17 hits allowed, 3 walks.

Seattle doesn't care too much for Chorro Time right now. :)

[MrBug708]

Woot Woot!

[mckerney]

Part 2: Arrival in Anaheim

Upon his arrival in Anaheim, MC, still wearing his Galesburg jersey, had his sherpas carry him to the local Disney amusement park in search of the man who he hoped would be his future teammate, Jeeber D. Mack. After half an hour of ordering his sherpas around the park he finally spotted Jeeber, who was naturally trying to pick up two 16 year old girls. "Yeah, I'm a baseball player. But I'm more interested at how you play with balls," Jeeber was heard saying before the girls ran away to find someone to kick his ass.

My friend, you were cocky and funny and that's all that counts. McCarney called out to him.

MC! You get traded here yet?

Sadley, not yet. I guess I have to wait until I'm healed.

Shit, if you can't even walk without those guys carrying you around it must be bad

Oh, this. I don't exactly need them to do this. I can walk and I'm close to being able to play, though having sherpas carry you around is actually a lot of fun. McCarney jumped down and then handed the sherpas $5. There, now go buy me something pretty.

That's actually kinda wierd...

Yeah, I know. But isn't it cool?

Actually it's a little more creepy than cool...

Uh, yeah, you're right. I'm kinda retarded :( But anyway. I'm gonna sign with Anaheim pretty soon. I know, I know, a lot of people have said I can't do it, but I'm pretty confident. I've done things people thought I couldn't before. Who cares about that shit right now anyway, where can we get some booze?

These bastards won't sell alcohol here. I've been telling them they should ever since I made it to The Show, but apparently this is a 'children's park' so they refused. So I just come here from the chicks

Fuck that. Someone here is gonna get me a White Russain. So MC went to the closest food vendor to make his demands. Good day shopkeep. I demand the finest vodka based drink you can supply

Uh, sir, what do you want? I really don't think we ca sell alcohol here. And are you even 21?

I don't know what the hell that has to do with anything? Are you going to help me or not?

What exactly do you expect me to do? Without having any alcohol or being able to sell it to you...

What? What? What ain't no country I ever heard of. Do they speak english in what? English fucker!

Yeah yeah, I get it. Samuel Jackson from Pulp Fiction. You are so gay.

MC's screaming was then interupted when one of his sherpas finally decided to extract revenge for all the abuse they'd taken over the last several days, and the lies about million dollar payments for guiding him on a mountain expedition by striking him in the back of the head with a novelty porcelain statue of Mickey Mouse, knocking him unconcious. The sherpas then proceeded to steal his wallet, watch, and whatever else they could get their hands on before Jeeber finally decided to intervene and drag MC to the safety of Edison field, where upon awakening several hours later he would search out any employee of the Angels organization to talk about a contract

[JeeberD]

Damn, this is better than CWs part of the dynasty... :D

Oh, and those girls had to have been at least 18! Of course, it is hard to tell. Damn teenagers dress so slutty these days....

[mckerney]

<html><s>I update mine more frequently, so of course it's better :D</s></html>

Coffee Warlord is awesome. Plus I love this sweet Avengers jersey.

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Damn, this is better than CWs part of the dynasty... :D

Well, you just guaranteed yourself a visit from The Editor. Hope you like playing for Bumsville Asspounders for the rest of your career. :)

[JeeberD]

Mmmmmm...ass pounders.....

Umm, I mean, I'm just kidding CW. You know your dynasty is the only one for me...

Crap, does Bumsville have an amusement park where I can pick up chicks?

Dammit, how do I get myself into these situations... :(

[thealmighty]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Dammit, how do I get myself into these situations...


Because, close as it is to heaven, there is not much else to do in Denton. :D

[Coffee Warlord]

Well, it does have an amusement park.

And...I guess there are a few hairy guys in drag there. They don't mind being called chicks. I hear some of them are aspiring actors, too. Something about a movie called Prison Wife, I think.

Hey, maybe you can do a little acting during the offseason!

[JeeberD]

Well, spending my early years of puberty living in Germany did give me a taste for hairy women....

Hey MC! Click here (http://msn.espn.go.com/page2/s/ballparks/edison.html) to read all about where you just woke up!!!

[mckerney]

I suppose I can use this for when I get finished writing part 3, which could be tonight or later, I'm kinda lazy.

[Celeval]

Wheee. :-D

Now someone else come sign with us so we can make a playoff run. Bleah.

Kevin

[larrymcg421]

That was a nice postseason. I shouldn't be hitting any dingers. That was my problem in the regular season. I need Lou Brown to tell me to do push ups every time I hit one in the air.

[Blade]

9.40 ERA? .379 BA vs. Lefties? How the Hell am I pitching in the Majors? I wonder if I can pull a turnaround season out, ala the Winston cup dynasty???

[Coffee Warlord]

You were only up in the Bigs for 60 innings. Most of your season was in the minors, but you had enough to list you on the league leaders board.

And maybe I wanted to make fun of you. :)

[illinifan999]

Wow these World Series Rings sure are pretty.........and shiny too. :D :D :D

[Superman=#54]

¡El Tiempo del Chorro será espalda pronto y todos equipos mayores de la liga pagarán! ¡Usted estará llorando a sus mamás pronto porque Tiempo de Chorro está aquí!

[Nyarlahotep]

I had the sudden urge to write:

English only in the Dynasty Conference.

[Superman=#54]

What about Spanglish?

;)

[Nyarlahotep]

Anything is ok. I remembered that this wasn't Hattrick.

[Blade]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
And maybe I wanted to make fun of you. :)

Heh, that is alright, I have been making fun of myself!

[Coffee Warlord]

No update tonight. Got absolutely no sleep last night, so I'll be dying early this evening. Ugh. Shoot me now.

[Coffee Warlord]

2004 Stats are up! Offseason is about to be run, so more to come this evening.

http://www.officepimps.com/baseball/index.html

[mckerney]

I should update the dynasty soon as well.

[Katon]

Name: Katon Mortay
Country: England
DOB: 4/18/85
Height: 6'
Weight: 189
Number: 25
Position: C

Type O' Player you wanna be: slugger

[MrBug708]

Just looking over my player, I didnt make an error all year

[Coffee Warlord]

Nor have you in the early goings of this year either. :)

[mckerney]

Have I been traded yet?