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thesloppy
07-23-2003, 11:57 AM
Holding severed head in place, he defied death (http://www.newindpress.com/Newsitems.asp?ID=IEP20030721133653&Title=States&rLink=0)

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AGRA: A 28-year-old carrier van driver's head nearly got chopped off in a road accident. Weeks later he is alive, thanks to sheer grit.

His head almost severed, blood oozing and eyes popping out, Balram was in a dazed state when the accident took place on July 5 in Fatehabad in Uttar Pradesh.

He, however, kept his head attached to his body with some cloth. When no one came to help him, he drove his own vehicle for 30 km to reach a nursing home in Agra.

Doctors there found the head partly joined with the spinal column -- something that saved his life.

D.V. Sharma, who runs the nursing home, said it was Balram's supreme confidence and presence of mind that must have made him drive without any loss of time.

"Had there been some delay, death was a certainty."

"Imagine someone walking into the nursing home with his head almost cut off from the neck. The very thought gives shivers," said an attendant who first saw Balram at the nursing home.

On Sunday evening, a felicitation function was organised by Agra's clubs and some NGOs for Balram.

People who donated blood for him were also praised at the function in the hospital, which incidentally refused to take money for his treatment.

Recalling the accident, a family member said: "Balram was returning from Arnauta in Bah tehsil (sub-district) with 10 quintals of wheat in his van. When he was passing through the main market in Fatehabad, a tractor trolley carrying iron rods and pipes ahead of him suddenly applied the breaks.

"Balram could not stop in time and banged into the trolley. The iron rods pierced through his neck. His head fell on one side, attached precariously to the spinal cord.

"He was fully conscious and all his organs were in command. Promptly, Balram straightened his head and tied a 'safi' (a thin cloth towel) around it and rushed towards Agra. Whoever saw the scene couldn't believe his eyes. The crowd that assembled around did nothing.

"When Balram tried to speak, blood oozed from his mouth.

"Soaked in blood and in a totally shattered state, even his co-worker collapsed unconscious. But Balram did not lose heart. He kick-started the van and went to a nearby doctor who advised him to immediately rush to Agra. The first nursing home on the way refused him admission as he was in a critical state.

"Then around 7.30 p.m., he reached D.V. Sharma's bone clinic. He fell unconscious. Sharma immediately got his team together as both his pulse and breathing rhythms had come under strain."

It took nearly three-and-a-half hours for doctors to complete the operation. Papers on the van helped them trace his family members.

A life was saved. On Sunday, Balram was fit and ready to return. He is still having trouble speaking, but doctors said a minor operation later would restore his voice.

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I am especially impressed by the fact that he made two stops before getting to his destination. I also wonder what kind of 'advice' the first doctor was able to give him.

Balram: "Excuse me sir, it appears that I may have severed my head, and was wondering if you might be able to advise me on the best way to deal wiyth the situation. Also, do not be alarmed by my eyes popping out, and the blood oozing from my mouth."
Doctor: "AAAGGGGHHHH!!!" {beating Balram out the door with broom}

cartman
07-23-2003, 12:03 PM
He's my next pick to win a stage in the Tour de France...

(running away to hide under nearest rock)

Marmel
07-23-2003, 12:04 PM
Speechless.

How in the world does one have the presence of mind to replace your head, hold it together and DRIVE to a hospital????????????

Easy Mac
07-23-2003, 12:06 PM
That is quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life. Pictures.

SplitPersonality1
07-23-2003, 12:08 PM
First the guy who cut off his own leg; now this guy.

Amazing.

Fritz
07-23-2003, 12:09 PM
perhaps Buddy Grant wrote this article and the driver only nicked his chin shaving.

thesloppy
07-23-2003, 12:15 PM
Where is a giant sized PEZ when you need it?

Swaggs
07-23-2003, 12:16 PM
I think I just vomitted in my mouth.

Fritz
07-23-2003, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by thesloppy
Where is a giant sized PEZ when you need it?
http://www.buffworks.com/SD.gif
like this?

Easy Mac
07-23-2003, 12:25 PM
If you play it backwards, it looks like he's eating a giant pink cock.

cartman
07-23-2003, 12:28 PM
Originally posted by Easy Mac
If you play it backwards, it looks like he's eating a giant pink cock.

Great move EM,

Now subby is going to get all hot and bothered

:D

thesloppy
07-23-2003, 12:31 PM
Sadly, the Baha Men's second single "Who let the PEZ dispensing SkyDog out of the trunk?" failed to sell more than a dozen copies.

scooper
07-23-2003, 12:37 PM
I didn't know SkyDog was Canadian.

Franklinnoble
07-23-2003, 12:58 PM
I call bullshit. How did he NOT bleed to death with a fully severed carotid artery? You can't just wrap a towel around that sort of a wound and keep on going...

thesloppy
07-23-2003, 01:04 PM
Originally posted by Franklinnoble
I call bullshit. How did he NOT bleed to death with a fully severed carotid artery? You can't just wrap a towel around that sort of a wound and keep on going...

How dare you question the veracity of South India's Leading News Site!

Craptacular
07-23-2003, 01:25 PM
That's a nice tale.

Ksyrup
07-23-2003, 01:39 PM
Methinks something - other than this guy's head - was lost in the translation.

sachmo71
07-23-2003, 01:42 PM
Myth. Cool idea, though.

Fritz
07-23-2003, 02:44 PM
The are NoMyths

korme
07-23-2003, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by Easy Mac
That is quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life. Pictures.

:D

Anrhydeddu
07-23-2003, 03:04 PM
Waiting for snopes....

thesloppy
07-23-2003, 03:21 PM
What's the world coming to when nobody will take an Indian man's severed head at face value? I'm sure if this was an American severed head, we'd all be rushing to the Hallmark store for festive, Garfield-adorned, "Sorry your head (almost) got chopped off.", greeting cards. Next you'll be telling me Balram probably chopped off his own head for the resultant fame and fortune.

Also, Balram may be the best name ever.

Easy Mac
07-23-2003, 03:26 PM
definition of badass:

bad·ass - Pronunciation Key (bhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/abreve.gif dhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/abreve.gif s) Vulgar Slang
n. A mean-tempered or belligerent person.

As in, the badass went to the store.

adj. Mean; belligerent.

Marmel is a badass motherfucker.

mrsimperless
07-23-2003, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by thesloppy
Also, Balram may be the best name ever.

Quote of the day!! :D