Bad Week of Boxoffice returns

[GrantDawg]

The reports are showing that Spy Kids: EndGame will be the money winner this weekend over Seabiscut and the latest Lara Croft movie. Now the first Croft movie wasn't great, and Seabiscut is only going to really appeal to adults and a few horse crazy girls, but let me tell you, without seeing either one, they are The Godfather part II compared to End Game. If I weren't there for my daughter, I'd walked out in the first ten minutes. As it was, I mourn the loss of the roughly 1:25 hours of my life that was waisted watching that junk.

I actually enjoyed the first Spy Kids movie, and my wife said the second one was decent. Yet, Whoever the director and producers of this movie were deserves prison. Or worse yet, be forced to watch this movie over and over again. The movie is full of stars that did not act a lick, the story was very apparently pieced together and made no sense, and the director must have decided early on that the "3-D" thing would carry this movie, because the only imagine exibited in the whole movie was how many ways can we have things fly off toward the audience.

On a side note, the effects all seemed like a step backward in 3-d movies. It seems to me that older 3-d movies actually looked better and the effect was sharper. They didn't even do that right!

In summary, if your child should want to see this movie, find some other way to please them. It would be more pleasurable to allow them to shoot you out of a cannon than to have to sit through this movie.



ps. I know someone is going to say "this movie isn't for you, it is for the kids," and to that I say yes it is. BUT that shouldn't be license to a filmmaker to just produce badly made crap. Plus, as I said earlier, this has been a halfway decent franchise. This movie is almost a bait-and-switch. The only reason this attempt was made was because the kids have gotten to old (by the way, the girl is barely in it and they do all they can to try to hide her clearly developed chest) and they wanted to suck the last dime out of the franchise. They shouldn't have done it though if they couldn't make something that resembled a movie.

[mckerney]

The motion picture industy will probably take the Metalica route and say that the bad box office returns were due to bootlegging of movies, rather than the truth of the movies just sucking.

When does Kill Bill come out?

[JonInMiddleGA]

SK:3D got you this weekend too huh?

As we left the theatre, my first comment to my wife was "You just watched a franchise jump the shark". And that's what ran through my mind throughout.

The movie isn't without highlights IMO. Ricardo Montalban was fun to watch & Stallone as the villain in a kid's movie had a certain appeal. And the 11 y/o who plays Junie's first girlfriend had my wife gasping at what a natural beauty she is (I'm no pedophile but she's got the potential to be the best-looking actress in Hollywood in a few years).

But whatever this movie was, it wasn't a worthy successor to the original or even to the much-weaker sequel.

With the exception of the boy, no character from part one has more than two scenes in this one. The producers either forgot what made the first movie work so well or the script was so weak that they couldn't convince the rest of the family to do anything more than a long cameo.

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by mckerney
The motion picture industy will probably take the Metalica route and say that the bad box office returns were due to bootlegging of movies, rather than the truth of the movies just sucking.

When does Kill Bill come out?

The girlfriend and I went to see Tomb Raider last night (she enjoyed it but I was thouroughly unimpressed) and mixed in the the usual pre-movie commercials was an anti-piracy ad. It focused on a set painter and talked about all the movies he had worked on and how he met his wife on a set. He then said that piracy doesn't affect the big stars or the producers/directors, but it affected the little people like himself.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

I don't need any preaching to before I go see a movie. I paid my money to go see that crap movie, so shut up...

And on a related note, I am so tired of the pre-movie commercials. But I won't go there right now...

[kcchief19]

You didn't enjoy Tomb Raider? Are you gay? Sure, it's a run-of-the-mill action flick at best with no script and no direction, but it's got freakin' Angelina Jolie. Put aside the fact that she is a little whacked and just enjoy the silver body suit.

[sabotai]

Know that she's had sex with Mr. Thornton multiple times kind of ruins it for me...

:)

[damnMikeBrown]

Here's the thing that irks me about Jolie. She's not an athlete, at all. Every scene where she does something dynamic, they put it in slow motion. I forget which film, but I have an image of her in my mind of running, and that image stuck. It was a horrid lopsided gate that belonged in the special olympics.

I'm sure she's a fine actress. She's definately hot. She's definately mentally imbalanced. She's also definately not an athlete, and her in an action movie just blows it for me. Every slow motion action scene they hide her with, evokes images of that awfull running. . .

[mckerney]

Originally posted by JeeberD
The girlfriend and I went to see Tomb Raider last night (she enjoyed it but I was thouroughly unimpressed) and mixed in the the usual pre-movie commercials was an anti-piracy ad. It focused on a set painter and talked about all the movies he had worked on and how he met his wife on a set. He then said that piracy doesn't affect the big stars or the producers/directors, but it affected the little people like himself.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

I don't need any preaching to before I go see a movie. I paid my money to go see that crap movie, so shut up...

And on a related note, I am so tired of the pre-movie commercials. But I won't go there right now...

But what about all the little kids who wouldn't be able to see the movie if they couldn't buy a bootleg copy from a street vendor, because their parents don't approve of the violence, sex, and other adult situations that we've come to take for granted in our everyday life?

[mckerney]

Dola:

And what's up with your girlfriend liking the movie? Is it just the standard 'all women all crazy' thing, or is it something more?

[JeeberD]

I'm not sure why she liked it. She's the one who wanted to go see it in the first place. I think she's able to distance herself from reality better than I can. All I could think about was how impossible half the scenes were (well, that and Angelina's wonderful tatas and lucious lips) while she enjoyed it for the fantasy that it is...

Oh, and you wouldn't believe how many little kids were there to see the movie. I know when I was under ten my parents never took me to see a movie where the stars nipples were clearly visible for 90% of the movie. I definitly led a deprived childhood...

[Cuckoo]

Originally posted by mckerney
The motion picture industy will probably take the Metalica route and say that the bad box office returns were due to bootlegging of movies, rather than the truth of the movies just sucking.

When does Kill Bill come out?

I can't believe you mentioned movies sucking and followed it with a plea for Kill Bill. That movie looks terrible.

[SplitPersonality1]

Hey GD. Looks like I lucked out of SK:3D. My sister-in-law owed my daughter a movie and my wife and I suggested this one.

Like you, we liked the first two Spy Kids movies and knew our daughter would want to see three. We also knew, or rather had a strong suspicion, that the third movie was going to blow. (The previews looked just awful).

I have a happy kid that saw a bad movie and I don't have to spend a dime on it. Yay for me. (at least until the DVD comes out)

[Draft Dodger]

Originally posted by kcchief19
You didn't enjoy Tomb Raider? Are you gay? Sure, it's a run-of-the-mill action flick at best with no script and no direction, but it's got freakin' Angelina Jolie. Put aside the fact that she is a little whacked and just enjoy the silver body suit.

I don't need to pay $10 to see Angelina Jolie look sexy. I have access to the internet.

[Draft Dodger]

Originally posted by Cuckoo
I can't believe you mentioned movies sucking and followed it with a plea for Kill Bill. That movie looks terrible.

it's also looking so long that it may end up being two movies.

[Cuckoo]

Originally posted by Draft Dodger
it's also looking so long that it may end up being two movies.

From the looks of it, two movies with no plot but a lot of kicking. :eek: