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Easy Mac
08-21-2003, 11:33 PM
Meant to post this last night, but I've had a nasty cold for the past 4 days. The only things I've done is go to work and sleep. I'm fucking tired of chicken soup.

Anyway, I was working usher last night (Wednesday) at the movie theater. One of the Regional managers was there inspecting our projection setup to make sure everything was OK. So I was just talking to the other coworkers, when he walks over to my manager and says something.

The manager tells me he needs me to come into SWAT with him. I ask him whats up. He said the reg. manager saw two people fucking in the top row of the auditorium (his exact words). So we go in there and look up. I see a guy and a girl stand up. We both turn away, and my manager tells me to go up there and see whats going on. Then he walks to the door, and I say "Huh," and he says for me to go up there and kick them out.

So, I look up there again, and the kids have disappeared. So I casually walk up the steps, and I get to the top row and what do I see? A guy laying on top of a girl on the floor, totally going at it. It takes about 3 seconds for me to figure out what the fuck is going on, then I say "ummmm, Hey", and then look back at the movie for 10 seconds. Then I shrug towards my manager. Then I turn back to the kids and say "You guys are going to need to step outside." I wanted to say something witty, but I was in total shock that there were people fucking on the floor.

Then I just casually stroll down the steps and walk to the doors. I then proceded to hold the door open for everyone. We didn't even say anything else to the kids (they were probably 16 or 17). They just had their heads down, and just walked right out of the theater.

We then walked over to the regional manager (who I thought might get mad at us, this was the first time I'd seen him this summer), and he's laughing his ass off. He told us he walked in their to make sure there were no marks on the film and he turned around. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, he said the guy was just pounding the girl from behind. All I thought was, thank god I didn't have to walk up there while they were doing that.

All in all it was weird. I told my girlfriend about it, and she told me the manager shouldn't have made me go up there to kick them out, he should have. Yeah, I thought that at first. I mean, I was embarassed to have to go up there as they were having sex. But after a couple of minutes, I just found it more funny than embarassing. We had a good laugh about it today.

Needless to say, I did not clean the top row that night. And there was a guy sitting 2 rows in front of them, how do not hear people having sex? And on the floor of a movie theater? Disgusting. So in all, they payed $11.50 (2 student tickets) to halfway have sex. Shit, get a motel room by the hour.

Anyway, thats my story.

WSUCougar
08-21-2003, 11:39 PM
Thanks, Easy. The tension & suspense over just how exactly Fritz will post in this thread is going to keep me awake all night...

mckerney
08-21-2003, 11:41 PM
I had a wierd night at the movies too. I don't know what flick it was at, but me and my girl were having a little action in the back of the theater when some dick with a bad haircut came back and just kicked us out for no good reason. Some people can be so unreasonable.

Swaggs
08-21-2003, 11:52 PM
Damnit Easy. You blew your porno movie moment....

mrskippy
08-21-2003, 11:58 PM
Funniest. Post. Ever.

thesloppy
08-22-2003, 12:01 AM
That's what happens when bodies start slappin'

Swaggs
08-22-2003, 12:24 AM
We should have a contest.

What porno-style ice breaker line should Easy have used to break into the action?

JeeberD
08-22-2003, 12:27 AM
Damn, and to think that all I had to do to get chastized at the theater the other day was put my feet up on the seat in front of me...

Their way would have been much more fun (but not on the floor though, that's just nasty...)

korme
08-22-2003, 12:28 AM
icree funyk

JeeberD
08-22-2003, 12:28 AM
Originally posted by Swaggs
We should have a contest.

What porno-style ice breaker line should Easy have used to break into the action?

Dude, hurry up, it's my turn...

JeeberD
08-22-2003, 12:28 AM
Originally posted by Shorty3281
icree funyk

Damn Shorty, what in the fuck were you drinking tonight???

The_herd
08-22-2003, 12:33 AM
Damn dude, how many different girls am I gonna bust you with up here?

korme
08-22-2003, 12:34 AM
stones mainyl

JeeberD
08-22-2003, 12:36 AM
Cool. Now go and make your ZFL pick Shorty. I think there's a bad ass QB just waiting for you to grab him...

korme
08-22-2003, 12:41 AM
i am afraid this is not the best time to make my pick

ah to hell with it

JeeberD
08-22-2003, 12:44 AM
Mwahahahahahah!!!!!! :D

Chief Rum
08-22-2003, 12:48 AM
Originally posted by JeeberD
Their way would have been much more fun (but not on the floor though, that's just nasty...)

Girl: Are those anal beads?
Boy: No, baby, stale Milk Duds.

CR

Blackadar
08-22-2003, 10:35 AM
Originally posted by Chief Rum
Girl: Are those anal beads?
Boy: No, baby, stale Milk Duds.

CR

Ewwwwwwww :eek:

cthomer5000
08-22-2003, 10:52 AM
Originally posted by Swaggs
What porno-style ice breaker line should Easy have used to break into the action?

tonight's your lucky night honey: it's a double feature!

cuervo72
08-22-2003, 10:57 AM
Cut! Ok, out with the stand-in, the star has arrived!

(I like cthomer's though)

KevinNU7
08-22-2003, 10:58 AM
Originally posted by Swaggs
What porno-style ice breaker line should Easy have used to break into the action? He should have undressed while singing the theme song to SWAT. dadadaa dadadaa dada daa daa daa

Buzzbee
08-22-2003, 11:13 AM
Possible lines for Easy:

Hey, mind if I SWAT dat?

You can't SWAT dat in here!

Hey, SWAT doesn't stand for Sex While At Theater!

The name of the movie is SWAT, not TWAT!



But the real question for Easy is:

Would you SWAT it?

Swaggs
08-22-2003, 11:15 AM
I thought the universal line was, "Need a hand?" :)

Samdari
08-22-2003, 01:29 PM
Originally posted by Swaggs
What porno-style ice breaker line should Easy have used to break into the action?

"If you don't blow me, Im going to call the cops and your parents."

Pause while they decide they have no choice and she moves into position.....

"Not her. You."

Take a picture of his face and leave it hanging in the theater office for years.

Calis
08-22-2003, 02:22 PM
"Don't just stare at it. Eat it."

dawgfan
08-22-2003, 10:59 PM
Originally posted by cthomer5000
tonight's your lucky night honey: it's a double feature!

* ding * ding * ding * We have a winner...

dawgfan
08-22-2003, 11:00 PM
Dola -

Fritz won't be that interested since there were no large mammals involved.

The_herd
08-23-2003, 03:54 PM
Originally posted by dawgfan
Dola -

Fritz won't be that interested since there were no large mammals involved.

Easy never said if she was, ummm, a little large. Maybe that would catch his attention.

tucker342
08-23-2003, 09:37 PM
Originally posted by cthomer5000
tonight's your lucky night honey: it's a double feature!

I believe we have a winner:D

ISiddiqui
08-23-2003, 11:18 PM
On the floor? Damn... that girl's ass will NEVER be clean again!