Are there really that many idiots in the world…

[Primal]

Obviously enough people asked this question in order for HP to create a knowledge base article for it.

http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

[daedalus]

Thou shan't underestimate people's ability to be stupid.

[andy m]

yeah, just look at this board.

[TroyF]

somebody has never worked in tech support. . . I have stories that would make your hair stand on end.

TroyF

[astralhaze]

Originally posted by TroyF
somebody has never worked in tech support. . . I have stories that would make your hair stand on end.

TroyF

Ditto.

[vex]

Originally posted by TroyF
somebody has never worked in tech support. . . I have stories that would make your hair stand on end.

TroyF

I've honestly heard the, "So where's this CD thingy? Oh that? I've been using that as a cup holder."

[TredWel]

All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab.

[samifan24]

Originally posted by TroyF
somebody has never worked in tech support. . . I have stories that would make your hair stand on end.

TroyF

While I have worked in retail customer service and have some great stories myself, I'm sure yours are much, much better. Please share?

[Axxon]

I hear many, many stories of sheer unabashed stupidity in my job. It doesn't really bother me though as I get much enjoyment from the exercise. It doesn't hurt that I firmly believe that every single person, myself included, is to the bone stupid in most areas of life and only knowledgable in a select few areas, so listening to and sharing ones moments doesn't depress me.

Some though, go off the chart. :D

My favorite example from my current job ( and no, I won't relate stuff from people who shouldn't know better like the truly impaired, though these are humorous too ) is this guy, definitely an adult, who called in and wanted to know about his mom, who was apparently in the hospital.

He asks, "How is Mrs. Jones ( fake name of course but the real one was just as common ) doing. She's my mom and she had to come up there today and I'm worried about her."

Me: "Ok, what is her first name?"

Him: "I don't rightly know, we've always just called her mom."

Beat that one techie dudes. :D

[Axxon]

dola,

EasyMac if that was you I apologize in advance. :D

[TroyF]

Originally posted by samifan24
While I have worked in retail customer service and have some great stories myself, I'm sure yours are much, much better. Please share?

Oh boy, where to begin?

When I was working on a Gateway account, a guy called me up asking if I could help him install memory he just purchased. He thought he might have bought the wrong type of memory.

I told him that I could and asked him if he had the case open. He let out an audible gasp and asked why the case needed to be open. I didn't really know where to go from here so I asked him why he thought he'd purchased the wrong memory. He said that he'd been trying to put it in the slot on the front of the computer and that it just wouldn't fit. He was trying to shove the memory through the floppy drive to install it.
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Another time a guy called me asking for help with his sound card. He said he'd been fiddling with it all night and couldn't figure out what was going on. I did a check of the system and everything seemed to be fine. I asked him what type of speakers he was using and if they were plugged in tightly. He said he'd have to go around the back of the desk to check. For the next 5 minutes I hear cussing mixed in with dragging sounds as the desk is being moved. Then I hear this "Oh YES, YES, YES please $#%@ me harder" at full roar. That sound stops, followed by a women screaming "I thought I told you to stop watching that, am I not good enough, you son of a #%@^@, I'll kick your ass" This went on for about 3 minutes until the phone was hung up.
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I could spend the next week writing calls like those. They are just two right off the top of my head. The stupidity of people never ceased to amaze me. Still, give me the guy like the customer in the top story every time. The customers I couldn't stand were the customers that thought they knew more than me and were hell bent on proving it. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell someone that if they wanted to troubleshoot the product on their own they were more than free to do so, but when you call me, you listen to what I say. Those guys drove me up the wall.

TroyF

[HornedFrog Purple]

It is either that or HP has some Simpsons fans. You make the call.

[Raven Hawk]

Originally posted by TroyF

Another time a guy called me asking for help with his sound card. He said he'd been fiddling with it all night and couldn't figure out what was going on. I did a check of the system and everything seemed to be fine. I asked him what type of speakers he was using and if they were plugged in tightly. He said he'd have to go around the back of the desk to check. For the next 5 minutes I hear cussing mixed in with dragging sounds as the desk is being moved. Then I hear this "Oh YES, YES, YES please $#%@ me harder" at full roar. That sound stops, followed by a women screaming "I thought I told you to stop watching that, am I not good enough, you son of a #%@^@, I'll kick your ass" This went on for about 3 minutes until the phone was hung up.
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Priceless! LMAO! :D

[JHandley]

I used to do tech support for ICU and ISPQ. I'd work the 2-11 shift and every night, starting around 9ish, we'd start getting some very desperate calls from customers who really, <i>really</i> needed to get their fix. Usually these guys had a pretty good sense of humor, so you could get away with saying things that you couldn't to a business customer.

One night, it was just about time for my shift to end and I get this call and all the guys says is "Hey, how can I get these women to look better?" Without thinking and without hesitation, I blurted out "Drink more beer". Dude laughed with me for about 5 minutes. Good times.

[sabotai]

I worked at the computer labs at Stockton for over 3 years. I've seen my share of stupidity. I don't know how many times I saw people trying to push a zip disk into the floppy drive, and vice versa. The thing was, the drives were right next to each other!

[wishbone]

I've been working tech support for 5+ years and I'm at the point where the stupid callers don't even stand out anymore. After 5 minutes I've generally forgotten about it. The ones that I still remember are the bizarre ones.

I was working scanner support for HP and had a lady call saying that the scanner wasn't working. She had just bought a new system from Gateway with the scanner software preinstalled. After trying a test scan and not hearing any noise:
ME: Is it turned on?
HER: I don't know, how would I check?
ME: There should be a green light in the lower right hand corner
HER: I don't see it
ME: Let's unplug and replug the power cord in
HER: How would I do that?
ME: On the back of the scanner, there is a black cord, right?
HER: What should I be looking at?
ME: The scanner
HER: What does it look like?

It ended up that Gateway had not sent the scanner, she had been charged twice the retail price and there was nothing else I could do. My only question is where was the object being scanned?

[wishbone]

Yeah it's a dola, but I'm feeling talkative today

Another was a lady in Texas with a scanner who had prayed and fasted for 3 days, then drew a picture of Jesus with colored pencil and wanted to email it to a friend. The picture would not show up in the scanning software. She had been using the scanner for a few months, other pictures worked fine using the same paper or pencils or anything. That 1 picture would not scan. She called because she thought the scanner was possessed by an evil spirit and wanted it replaced. We had to talk her out of it since everything else worked. The proof that it wasn't possessed was that we were able to scan a bible just fine.

[wishbone]

I also used to work for USWest DSL service on the graveyard shift. Daytime techs would tell frustrated users that night was the best time to call because there were no waits, which was true for about a month. With only 1 graveyard person, the calls backed up pretty quick and I soon started talking to people who had been waiting for 1-3 hours on hold. Even worse was when they were asleep and I could hear the TV on or snoring. I could only give them 30 seconds and then I had to hang up on them. If any of you ever woke hearing the tone that goes off when your phone is off the hook, I'm sorry

[wishbone]

To be honest, I don't know what's worse in tech support; the callers or the people I work with. Don't get me wrong, most people are good people but some are just crazy or fit the stereotype too well to be normal like:

A white 6'2" 300 ish former submarine nuclear reactor technician with a nympho "girlfriend" 2000 miles away and a passion for making arrows in Everquest

A homosexual black guy with a red mustache who can't finish a sentence without referring to himself as "little bear" or saying "per se" or "sultry other things"

Too many guys to count who only work to upgrade the PC in Mom's basement

I once watched 2 guys play catch with a Koosh ball for 20 minutes with niether of them cathing it once the whole time. They insisted that the Koosh ball was harder to catch than other balls and saying they threw like girls would insult most women I know.

[Scholes]

Not really a tech support story, but I got a call at the sporting goods store that I manage one day from a guy looking for a left-handed bat.

I didn't know what to say except that, why yes, we do have left handed bats sir, we're open til' nine.

[Godzilla Blitz]

Originally posted by Scholes
Not really a tech support story, but I got a call at the sporting goods store that I manage one day from a guy looking for a left-handed bat.

I didn't know what to say except that, why yes, we do have left handed bats sir, we're open til' nine.

Classic.

Did you sell him a left-handed ball, too?

[Scholes]

Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz
Classic.

Did you sell him a left-handed ball, too?

Of course not, everyone knows they haven't come out with those yet.....

[finkenst]

I'm not even going to read this thread to answer an unqualified "yes!".

[Leonidas]

When I used to do radar maintenence a lifetime ago another maintenence hack told me the story about being called to the plane (an F-16 I believe) to fix the IFF gear. Turns out the pilot was upset because it didn't work in the O-F-F position.