The Afoci's Question of the Week!

[The Afoci]

Okay, so I was sitting at work, working hard as ever as a used car salesman, when it hit me. God had just blessed me with a question so mind tingling, that it would consume me for three or four days. This conundrum has left me in the bathroom, late at night, wax in hand wanting to try it, but what little reason I have left has been keeping me from it. Please save my ass crack hair.

So the question, if one was to wax one's ass crack, would he or she have to wipe? Now I am talking about completely bald, not girl ass, because it has been confirmed that girls have small, not easy to see hairs in their ass cracks.

My belief is no. I believe that unless the bowel movement is runny, that the only thing that holds it up is the hair in the crack. I figure you take out the hair, you take out the TP. Prove me wrong for the love of God.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Here I am sitting at work, working hard as ever as a used car salesman, with nothing better to do than answer stoopid asswipe TP questions...

[The_herd]

Could you really call yourself a man if you didn't wipe though?

[Ben E Lou]

Someone reported this post to me as "a little over the top." I'd have to agree. Come on.

[VPI97]

My son's ass is bare, but I still have to use 20-30 wet wipes everytime I change his diaper.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by SkyDog
Someone reported this post to me as "a little over the top." I'd have to agree. Come on.

Okay, perhaps the presentation is over the top, ;) but the question is one we did discuss for a good half day. I would edit the poll options to some more suitable trout in rectum choices, but I am unable to edit poll options.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by The_herd
Could you really call yourself a man if you didn't wipe though?

That was one point I wasn't able to overcome. Would you still feel like a man without a hairy ass to wipe? I just don't think so.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by VPI97
My son's ass is bare, but I still have to use 20-30 wet wipes everytime I change his diaper.

Now, is that because of diaper or is it because of the consistence of it? And is he truly bald or is are there little hairs? I will trust you that he doesn't have a bunch of butt hair, but I feel that more than likely there is at least some. I am probably wrong though.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Originally posted by VPI97
My son's ass is bare, but I still have to use 20-30 wet wipes everytime I change his diaper.


I second that (even if your son is my daughter, if yaknowhatImean) and this new comment confirms my initial vote.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Originally posted by The Afoci
Now, is that because of diaper or is it because of the consistence of it? And is he truly bald or is are there little hairs? I will trust you that he doesn't have a bunch of butt hair, but I feel that more than likely there is at least some. I am probably wrong though.


The diapers do tend to spread everything around and the consistence is probably more 'liquidy' than normal because of the milk diet...

And I confirm the absence of hair...

[cthomer5000]

Originally posted by SkyDog
Someone reported this post to me as "a little over the top." I'd have to agree. Come on.

I guess it's not as subtle as the jalapeno nachos thread.

[Suicane75]

Originally posted by cthomer5000
I guess it's not as subtle as the jalapeno nachos thread.

:D

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by cthomer5000
I guess it's not as subtle as the jalapeno nachos thread.

That was my original though, and am glad someone else posted it.

[fantastic flying froggies]

The only bad thing about this thread is its slightly uninformative title...

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by fantastic flying froggies
The only bad thing about this thread is its slightly uninformative title...

Yeah, I guess I could have titled it "Ping Skydog: Burning Question" or something... ;)

[Suicane75]

On a more serious note, I remember awhile back some dude was freakin out cause he had what looked like corn in his poo, but he hadn't eaten any corn and he was worried he may have had pollups, who was that dude and did he pull thru?

[Ben E Lou]

Originally posted by Suicane75
On a more serious note, I remember awhile back some dude was freakin out cause he had what looked like corn in his poo, but he hadn't eaten any corn and he was worried he may have had pollups, who was that dude and did he pull thru? That wasn't serious. It was wignifty.

[korme]

Well, think about when you were a little kid (like me). I still wipe, and I am like a baby.

So I have solved the mystery.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Shorty3281
Well, think about when you were a little kid (like me). I still wipe, and I am like a baby.

So I have solved the mystery.

Short people can have hair too.

[yabanci]

things have gone too far when one guy is asking another guy whether his infant son's asshole is "truly bald" or has "little hairs."

[korme]

Originally posted by yabanci
things have gone too far when one guy is asking another guy whether his infant son's asshole is "truly bald" or has "lttle hairs."

Quote of the Moment!

[Cringer]

Maybe i will put this question to my co-driver. He is mexican with mexican-indian roots, the later which leads to him being a pretty hairless mofo! Now i don't know about the "unseen" parts, but the guy has no arm, leg, or facial hair to speak of, so maybe he would know the answer.........

[Ksyrup]

Enjoy your drive after popping THAT question...

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by yabanci
things have gone too far when one guy is asking another guy whether his infant son's asshole is "truly bald" or has "lttle hairs."

Yeah, this is generally the type of thing that will send you to prison where only a truly super hairy ass could save you.

Cringer, ask the question and relay the info.

[strait8]

I go beyond ass hair. Why is it acceptable (manly) to shave certain parts of your body but not others it just doesn't make sense.

I was never really hairy. When I got to 40 i noticed hair starting to grow in places it never grew before. And inthe places it was growing it started to get longer making me look more hairy than I liked. I pondered this for a few years till I grew a beard and bought a Braun beard trimmer.

One day I started trim alt the hair down. I set it on 2. Eyebrows, chest hair, Armpit hair, groin ass cheeks and legs were all mowed down to about 1/2 to 3/4 ".

Ass wipe is still required. But my lady does not have to pick hair out of her teeth when she goes down on me now. She likes it.

I like it too as less grey shows. I also shaved the beard as it was too white. But I still use the trimmer every month.

I have never admitted this to the world before, I feel oddly liberated at this moment.

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by strait8
I go beyond ass hair. Why is it acceptable (manly) to shave certain parts of your body but not others it just doesn't make sense.

I was never really hairy. When I got to 40 i noticed hair starting to grow in places it never grew before. And inthe places it was growing it started to get longer making me look more hairy than I liked. I pondered this for a few years till I grew a beard and bought a Braun beard trimmer.

One day I started trim alt the hair down. I set it on 2. Eyebrows, chest hair, Armpit hair, groin ass cheeks and legs were all mowed down to about 1/2 to 3/4 ".

Ass wipe is still required. But my lady does not have to pick hair out of her teeth when she goes down on me now. She likes it.

I like it too as less grey shows. I also shaved the beard as it was too white. But I still use the trimmer every month.

I have never admitted this to the world before, I feel oddly liberated at this moment.

Shave whatever you want, we don't care...just remember, everytime you shave it comes in thicker and darker...

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by rkmsuf
Shave whatever you want, we don't care...just remember, everytime you shave it comes in thicker and darker...

Urban legend.

[Ksyrup]

Originally posted by strait8
I go beyond ass hair.

Who doesn't?

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Urban legend.

Oh really...(raises shirt)...Look at it!!! Look at it!!!

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by Ksyrup
Who doesn't?

Seeing people for more than their ass hair...that's what it's all about...

[korme]

Originally posted by strait8
I go beyond ass hair. Why is it acceptable (manly) to shave certain parts of your body but not others it just doesn't make sense.

I was never really hairy. When I got to 40 i noticed hair starting to grow in places it never grew before. And inthe places it was growing it started to get longer making me look more hairy than I liked. I pondered this for a few years till I grew a beard and bought a Braun beard trimmer.

One day I started trim alt the hair down. I set it on 2. Eyebrows, chest hair, Armpit hair, groin ass cheeks and legs were all mowed down to about 1/2 to 3/4 ".

Ass wipe is still required. But my lady does not have to pick hair out of her teeth when she goes down on me now. She likes it.

I like it too as less grey shows. I also shaved the beard as it was too white. But I still use the trimmer every month.

I have never admitted this to the world before, I feel oddly liberated at this moment.

Shave on, brother.

[Ksyrup]

Originally posted by rkmsuf
Seeing people for more than their ass hair...that's what it's all about...

Being colorblind...that's easy. Looking past ass hair...that's a utopia we likely will not see in our lifetimes.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by strait8
I go beyond ass hair. Why is it acceptable (manly) to shave certain parts of your body but not others it just doesn't make sense.

I was never really hairy. When I got to 40 i noticed hair starting to grow in places it never grew before. And inthe places it was growing it started to get longer making me look more hairy than I liked. I pondered this for a few years till I grew a beard and bought a Braun beard trimmer.

One day I started trim alt the hair down. I set it on 2. Eyebrows, chest hair, Armpit hair, groin ass cheeks and legs were all mowed down to about 1/2 to 3/4 ".

Ass wipe is still required. But my lady does not have to pick hair out of her teeth when she goes down on me now. She likes it.

I like it too as less grey shows. I also shaved the beard as it was too white. But I still use the trimmer every month.

I have never admitted this to the world before, I feel oddly liberated at this moment.

This is only trimming. I require proof of waxing and/or shaving. Smooth skin repels poo! Smooth skin repels poo!

[strait8]

Who Doesn't

All this time I was a closet shaver. Does this mean i can come out now? I am truly not alone?

[Butter]

I'm debating which thread is worse... this one, or the one where the guy waxed his own chest.

[strait8]

Not Really. It depends on the thickness and consistency and how tight your bunghole is. All the shaving in the world won't change this. Install a bidet and hose your hole after. That way you will have no apprehension or brown racing stripes in your Calvin's.

[yabanci]

let me get this straight (referring to the post by Butter_of_69 followed by Strait8):

....Determining whether this thread is worse than the one where the guy waxed his own chest depends on the thickness and cosistency and how tight your bunghole is?

[strait8]

In relooking at this thread it has a certain existential quality to it.

Things must be very slow at the car lot today. I keep picturing The Affoci playing the Wlliam H. Macy part in Fargo. What will he do or dream up next.

[The_herd]

I come home from work and somehow this thread actually went downhill from where it started.

[strait8]

I just clicked the Affoci's profile. He IS from Fargo!!! That expalins it all.

Bizarre totally Bizarre

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by strait8
Not Really. It depends on the thickness and consistency and how tight your bunghole is. All the shaving in the world won't change this. Install a bidet and hose your hole after. That way you will have no apprehension or brown racing stripes in your Calvin's.

I believe I have just strengthened my own point of view on this. I just got done pooping what could be considered the perfect poop. It was 3 logs, roughly all the same size, that left me with one swip of the toilet paper that retrieved no crap from my crack. Now, if this is possible with some hair, I feel the possiblities increase inversely to the amount of hair you have. The less hair, the more likely you will have no poop to wipe. Going bald will save the most trees.

[rkmsuf]

Originally posted by The Afoci
I believe I have just strengthened my own point of view on this. I just got done pooping what could be considered the perfect poop. It was 3 logs, roughly all the same size, that left me with one swip of the toilet paper that retrieved no crap from my crack. Now, if this is possible with some hair, I feel the possiblities increase inversely to the amount of hair you have. The less hair, the more likely you will have no poop to wipe. Going bald will save the most trees.

Sadly it has taken us centuries for such a mind to come along...

[korme]

No no no. It is how your butt is reacting. When the logs are sailing easily out, then your likelihood of poopy-mess(TM) is very low. When you're pushing out some rock-solid turds that won't release without a fight, then expect some heavy-duty wiping to take place.

It's all in the pressure.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Shorty3281
No no no. It is how your butt is reacting. When the logs are sailing easily out, then your likelihood of poopy-mess(TM) is very low. When you're pushing out some rock-solid turds that won't release without a fight, then expect some heavy-duty wiping to take place.

It's all in the pressure.

I must disagree. For myself, it is the liquidy ones that cause the most wiping. Rock hard ones provide little resistance in the way of leaving stragglers in my ass hair. The only problem the rock solid ones provide is splashing. Sadly, I pee first most of the time. Then I have to wipe my whole ass down.

[korme]

Why pee on your ass when you can pee in the nearby toilet?

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Shorty3281
Why pee on your ass when you can pee in the nearby toilet?

The downfall of the modern man was his ability to sit and pee without shame.

[Franklinnoble]

Originally posted by The Afoci
The downfall of the modern man was his ability to sit and pee without shame.

I'd say the Depends Undergarment for Men is a greater atrocity.

[tucker342]

Originally posted by rkmsuf
Sadly it has taken us centuries for such a mind to come along...

LOL:D

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
I'd say the Depends Undergarment for Men is a greater atrocity.

Do men in Depends stand when they pee themselves?

I didn't think so.

[tucker342]

dola-

it does seem like for me, the bigger the log, the less I have to wipe:D

[tucker342]

the afoci, why don't you try it and let us know?

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by tucker342
the afoci, why don't you try it and let us know?

I don't want to have kids yet, but I don't go and get my nuts cut. I just use other methods. As much as I don't want to wipe anymore, the pain involved outweighs the reward, especially since I am not certain the reward will work for sure.

[Suicane75]

I don't get it, I mean, I take pleasure in the wipe. The wipe is part of the entire dump experience, you walk in to the bathroom, you lock the door, you take your shirt off, you take a whiz, you drop trou, you sit down on the bowl and pick up that TV Guide with Paige Davis on the cover and you smile as you release your bowels. Now your tummy is empty, everything feels good. You stand up and flush while you open the window and spray some air freshener and then you get to work on the wipe, even if it isn't bad back there you've gotta do a good area coverage just to be positive, you're cleaning a dirty area, making it fresh again, wether it takes 3 wipes or 5, or more, every nook and cranny of your nooks and crannies must be wiped. Once that's all done you do a once or twice over with a baby wipe just to make things fresh, then you wash your hands, close the window and use that special stick of deodorant you use just for your ass cheeks, once up and down each butt cheek and then one across the tailbone, then you zip up and put your shirt back on. Why would you want to take any shortcuts?

[fantastic flying froggies]

This thread is fast becoming classic material...

Do y'all think we can get it linked in the reference thread ?

[The Afoci]

Well, I am going to Hardees for lunch today, so we should have a decent update on a certain type of crap. The future Mrs. The Afoci said that if I wax my ass, she will not be very kind to me in front of others. I think it is a threat of some sort.

[Franklinnoble]

Originally posted by The Afoci
Well, I am going to Hardees for lunch today, so we should have a decent update on a certain type of crap. The future Mrs. The Afoci said that if I wax my ass, she will not be very kind to me in front of others. I think it is a threat of some sort.

I think she intends to use the strap-on in public.

That doesn't sound too threatening to me, but maybe you're not into that sort of thing.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
I think she intends to use the strap-on in public.

That doesn't sound too threatening to me, but maybe you're not into that sort of thing.

Well, a hairless ass would make this much easier.

Now, I have just return from the bathroom, and to say the least, lunch was a disaster. I had a multiple wipe, multiple flush that at one point I thought that a plunger would be my only hope. God I hate toilet paper.