Top 10 Rejected Valentine Cards

[Blade6119]

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store.
In hopes that later, you'd be my wh*re.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking your big, round, fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled... so make me a sandwich!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown... but so has your ass.

3. You're a honey, you're a cutie
I just wish you had J.Lo's booty.

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister

[Craptacular]

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking your big, round, fat ass.


Mental note: find one of those create-a-card machines.

[Suicane75]

7, 6, 4 and 3 I could never say because it would end in a 3 hour conversation about wether her ass was too big, too small or if she was worth more than $250.

[Poli]

Fortunately, I knock out Valentine's and my anniversary on the same day.

I rule.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Fortunately, I knock out Valentine's and my anniversary on the same day.

Same for me, starting next year, as I'm getting married on Valentine's Day this year.

Urrrgh.

[Poli]

You rule.

[sterlingice]

Fortunately, I knock out Valentine's and my anniversary on the same day.

I rule.
That's awesome. If only she was born on Valentine's Day, you'd only have to remember one day a year ;)

SI

[Poli]

Close enough. She was born on the 7th.

[Eaglesfan27]

I'm so envious of you guys who knock out Valentine's Day and the Anniversary on the same day ;) My anniversary is May 2nd and is not nearly close enough to justify any sort of joint gift.

[tucker342]

LOL Those are awesome!:D

[vex]

March 13th has to be close enough for one gift, right?

[-Mojo Jojo-]

March 13th has to be close enough for one gift, right?

Why don't you go ahead and try that. Be sure to write us a detailed report of how it went :D

[BigJohn&TheLions]

First came love,
then the tears.
You shot her dead,
Got 20 years…

Your brand new bride,
Is truly a dream…
In 10th grade she did
The whole football team!