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Easy Mac
02-17-2004, 03:45 PM
Parody Thread! Parody Thread!

I've been involved in the spplesauce day thread and wanted to get a discussion going on a related topic: Equal rights regarding porridge for sloppy food eaters.

My state, SC, is currently in the hot seat, they spent two days debating it in the legislature and I must say I fear for our individual freedoms based on what some of these people said.

Here is the issue: Should sloppy food eaters be allowed the same rights, protections, and benefits that normal food eaters do when they get porridge?

I personally have to question why this is even a question? This nation's history is based on the freedoms and persuit of happiness that we all have enjoyed. Why are we now trying to remove that right from a group of people? The delicious right will say that the sanctity of porridge cannot be enjoyed by sloppy food eaters because the bible (Julia Childs cookbook) tells them so. Since when does this bible dictate legal statutes in this country? It was never intended to.

Some say that sloppy eater's porridge are damaging the "traditional family values" and will hurt children. I'm sorry, but thats just ignorant. sloppy food eaters all across this nation have adopted otherwise parent-less children, and raised them to be wonderful and productive members of society. How is that hurtful? Traditional family values are based on having a loving caring and strong eater, not just a mother-father-children style eater.

I cannot agree with any kind of legislation that discriminates. If any state truly bans sloppy food eaters they are discriminating as badly as they did in the south during the finger licking movement.

No single person or group in this country has the right to limit someone elses liberty based on their personal beliefs.

OK, I've stuck my neck out, lets see what others have to say.

Cuckoo
02-17-2004, 03:50 PM
I'm a sloppyeaterphobe! :)

wig
02-17-2004, 03:51 PM
I'm wignorant

wig
02-17-2004, 03:51 PM
and a wigot

WSUCougar
02-17-2004, 03:54 PM
I think this whole slippery slope issue devolves into a straw man argument over whether porridge can be strictly defined as "oatmeal" or more like a Cream of Wheat (yech!) type hot breakfast cereal.

Cuckoo
02-17-2004, 03:57 PM
Is there anyone here who has an objection to sloppy eaters that is not based on some interpretation of breakfast cereal?

Easy Mac
02-17-2004, 03:58 PM
*jumps up and down*

"ME!""ME!"

Cuckoo
02-17-2004, 03:59 PM
:D

WSUCougar
02-17-2004, 04:05 PM
My sloppy eating (usually) can be categorized into the following groups:

(1) Condiments & Sauces: Mayo, ketchup, mustard (which is apparently like permanent ink), pizza sauce, salad dressing, etc. Flecks, smears, and the like.

(2) Crumbs and Sprinkles: Bread & roll crumbs (esp. toast), powdered sugar (you cannot eat a powdered sugar donut w/o getting it on yourself), etc.

(3) Grease: Always a killer stain. And always seemingly in the worst spots.

tucker342
02-17-2004, 04:40 PM
LOL:D