Most Difficult Question...To Answer

[korme]

So I visit the spark for the first time in quite a while due to lack of updates, and see there is a new test out, along with a new website:

hxxp://okcupid.com/oktest? <--- Take it!

So I am breezing through the questions, when I approach this daunting question. I am befuddled. I am stumped. I can't answer Neither, Both, or EVERYONE! It's just one or the other.. this is so tough.

The question?

What makes OkCupid so awesome is the underlying romantic analysis we perform. Every question delicately modifies a sophisticated multidimensional measure of your personality. Would you rather get caught masturbating by your mother or father?
mother
father

[Suicane75]

Father, no question.

[cthomer5000]

seems easy to me, dad all the way. Wouldv'e been less likely to say anything or ever bring it up again.

[korme]

I am trying to imagine what would be worse. It's not like a quick cover with the parent suspicion, I'm imagining a full blown flogging where your ready to let the snake scream, when all of the sudden Mom/Dad busts the door open, right as your manjuice starts shooting streams up into the air.

I like this question.

[damnMikeBrown]

Pencil in step in front of Mom, and you have yourself a slightly disturbing porno intro.

[Blade6119]

#28 is good: Do you often start relationships with extreme enthusiasm only to leave a few months later, with extreme enthusiasm?

[Blade6119]

and i felt really bd about how i answerd 35 and 36...

[korme]

Anyway, my results:

Your results are in!

The Last Man on Earth
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSDm)

Shit, rejected again. You are The Last Man on Earth.

Sorry, but most women would rather see the human species wither to an end--and therefore deny the most fundamental instinct that living creatures have--than sleep with you.

We've learned the following: you don't think things through. You're haphazard. You're dangerous. You're somewhat inexperienced. It's totally obvious that you're a horny bugger, as well. Everybody knows that and steers clear.

To top things off, when you do find your way into a relationship, you tend to be a dick somewhere down the line and fuck it all up.

There's a small, but negligible, chance we're wrong. In any case, your friends find your shit hilarious. There's nothing cooler than a dude reducing himself to human rubble.

Your exact opposite:
The Gentleman
Deliberate Gentle Love Master

---------

Weak. Weaak. They hate on kids who don't want relationships way too hard. You just don't tell girls these things, and they are fine with you.

[AnalBumCover]

<CENTER>The Backrubber
Deliberate (http://www.okcupid.com/oktest#)Gentle (http://www.okcupid.com/oktest#)Sex (http://www.okcupid.com/oktest#)Dreamer (http://www.okcupid.com/oktest#) (DGSDm)

</CENTER>Lusty but indirect. Kind, but also using friendship as a means to sex. Oh, that feels gooood. You are The Backrubber.

We call you "The Backrubber" because you straddle that fine line between coming on to someone and just treating her nicely. Backrubs are just one example; you'd meet for coffee, or talk about books/movies, or even argue a little bit, all the while mostly preferring to screw.

<!-- end exact opposite table -->Your indirect approach is not some evil trickery, but rather a result of your open mind. You'd enjoy either love or sex, but the latter definitely doesn't require the former. While you are responsible and ambitious, you absolutely DON'T have uptight views on relationships. So ultimately, you just enjoy a woman, and let things take their course. If she wants you, great. If not, that's fine too.

Though you're not thinking too much about Love at this point in your life, odds are, when the time comes, you'll be very happy settling down. Your ideal mate is gentle and horny, just like you.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Peach
CONSIDER: The Playstation

[edit] This seems pretty accurate. Especially the "all the while mostly preferring to screw" statement. :D

ABC

[korme]

and i felt really bd about how i answerd 35 and 36...


Heh, yeah. I am pretty sure that was the 10, then 10,000 people one right? Ha.

I love how they will ask a very intense and deep thinking question, then turn around and ask something totally opposite... like so:

61- Out of nowhere, you get offered your dream job -- but you'll have to move to take it. Unfortunately, your significant other can't go with you. Do you...
-stay, because love comes first
-go, career is more important now

62- Do you floss?

:D

[Blade6119]

yah, thats what they were...and i said i wanted everyone else to die

[korme]

It's ok. I possess undiscovered potential (by rolling over Dreamer :D). This test results page is way more kick ass than old Spark tests.

[Blade6119]

The Manchild
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLDm)


Hopeful. Awkward. Soft-headed. Fire intrigues you. You are The Manchild.

Okay, Manchildren have some good qualities. They can be unpredictable, brash, magnetic--and therefore highly charismatic. Particularly, you're passionate and are often a hell of a lot of fun.


Your exact opposite:
The Bachelor

Deliberate Gentle Sex Master

But we'd like you to consider not using OkCupid. You can be unthinking and hurtful, and we think you LIKE seeing bad things happen. You've had a moderate number of relationships, but broken a disproportionate number of hearts. In total, you mean well, but don't really have it together.

It's up to you, of course, whether to continue dating. There are plenty of women out there who do deserve you. But you've heard our advice.



If you stay...
ALWAYS AVOID: The Dirty Little Secret

CONSIDER: The Sudden Departure.

[Blade6119]

Is it any different questions for girls?

[korme]

So am I the only one who has restarted, to take the test as a woman?

[Blade6119]

shorty...only you...well, and me...

[korme]

Same questions. Bah.

[tucker342]

<CENTER>The Backrubber
Deliberate (http://okcupid.com/oktest#)Gentle (http://okcupid.com/oktest#)Sex (http://okcupid.com/oktest#)Dreamer (http://okcupid.com/oktest#) (DGSDm)

</CENTER> Lusty but indirect. Kind, but also using friendship as a means to sex. Oh, that feels gooood. You are The Backrubber.

We call you "The Backrubber" because you straddle that fine line between coming on to someone and just treating her nicely. Backrubs are just one example; you'd meet for coffee, or talk about books/movies, or even argue a little bit, all the while mostly preferring to screw.

<!-- end exact opposite table --> Your indirect approach is not some evil trickery, but rather a result of your open mind. You'd enjoy either love or sex, but the latter definitely doesn't require the former. While you are responsible and ambitious, you absolutely DON'T have uptight views on relationships. So ultimately, you just enjoy a woman, and let things take their course. If she wants you, great. If not, that's fine too.

Though you're not thinking too much about Love at this point in your life, odds are, when the time comes, you'll be very happy settling down. Your ideal mate is gentle and horny, just like you.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Peach

CONSIDER: The Playstation

----------------------------------
It's so true....:D

[korme]

Honestly, I'm more of a backrubber. I like the backrub, in return for some steamy steamy.

[JeeberD]

The Vapor Trail
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMm)


Here today, gone today. You are The Vapor Trail. Are you in a relationship now?

What about now?

Vapor Trails can be highly charismatic people--unpredictable, confident, and magnetic. You're experienced. You know how to handle yourself in a relationship, and many people appreciate that. Many people, all in a row.

You've had your share of blissful beginnings, to be sure. But things almost never turn out how you'd like, do they? The problem is you're never happy with someone for an extended period of time. Relate to the following:

Vapor Trails especially need a girl who will laugh at their jokes. They're also the most likely male type to be haunted by serious regret.

FACT: A few of your exes, the ones you were best to, will always love you. Nice going.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Intern, The Maid of Honor

CONSIDER: The Sudden Departure

Interesting, considering the fact that I'm in a four year old relationship...

[tucker342]

Honestly, I'm more of a backrubber. I like the backrub, in return for some steamy steamy.
amen to that!:D

[Celeval]

In case anyone was interested enough to look up the others:

<U>Female</U>
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGLD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Sonnet
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGLM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Maid of Honor
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGSD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Intern
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGSM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Dirty Little Secret
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBLD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Priss
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBLM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Battleaxe
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBSD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Nymph
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBSM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Stiletto
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Window Shopper
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Peach
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGSD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Nurse
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGSM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Playstation
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Wild Rose
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Sudden Departure
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBSD&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Half-Cocked
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBSM&g=0&o=1&h=177 - Gengis Khunt
<U>Male</U>
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGLD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Slow Dancer
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGLM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Gentleman
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGSD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Backrubber
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGSM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Bachelor
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBLD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Mixed Messenger
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBLM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - False Messiah
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBSD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Billy Goat
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBSM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - 5-Night Stand
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Boy Next Door
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Loverboy
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGSD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Pool Boy
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGSM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Playboy
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Manchild
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Vapor Trail
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBSD&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Last Man on Earth
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBSM&g=1&o=1&h=177 - Hornivore

[stevew]

The False Messiah
Deliberate Brutal Love Master (DBLMm)


People believe in you, and then you send them to hell. Behold, the False Messiah.

You're usually a very kind person, and conscientious, too. Socially, you're a leader, and your friends and associates look up to you. You're probably tall. In intimate relationships, you're a capable, responsive, and experienced lover. Outside the box, however, you run into trouble.


Your exact opposite:
The Pool Boy

Random Gentle Sex Dreamer

Girls fall hard for you, but you're much more ambivalent about them. The beginnings of your relationships are unusually intense, making it all the rougher on her when they end. At first, using all your accumulated tricks of the trade, you ladle on the affection. But once she's all covered in soup, you withhold the true napkins of commitment. What's that all about? We should've called you the False Waiter.

You're looking for Love. But history tells us you struggle to settle down and accept it. There's a deep streak of carnality within you. And while you'll never be a predator, you'll always fight the urge to roam free. You like to plan things out, so plan this: find someone who can indulge your selfish side, has a healthy sexual appetite, and doesn't mind uncertainty.


FLEE: The Sonnet, The Window Shopper

PURSUE: The Stiletto, The Peach, The Nymph

[Coffee Warlord]

The Mixed Messenger
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDm)

Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling. The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.

You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit.

In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.

[cuervo72]

No Granny!!!

[duckman]

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Random Brutal Sex Master

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.


Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

Hmmmmmmmm. Who would had thunk? :p

[Coffee Warlord]

Just take the fucking flower darling.

I just....love that line. :)

[CamEdwards]

I too am the False Messiah. heh.