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View Full Version : Dear Abby, What do I do if I suspect a family member is a porn star?


AgPete
03-26-2004, 05:49 PM
Just in case any of you ever run into this problem, don't say I never tried to help. :D

http://slate.msn.com/id/2096902/

Dear Prudie,
I am self-employed and work at home. To my shame, and occasional self-loathing, I check out free pornography sites from time to time. (I have never gone further and actually paid to see more.) The other day I came across a porn scene featuring a female actress who, I swear, looks just like one of my cousins. Because the film clip is so brief, I can't be sure this person is my cousin. I'm not sure what my obligations are in this case. This cousin has been through some rough times recently (divorce, custody battle), and I would hate to think she felt she had to resort to porn to make ends meet. Our family has the resources to help her out. To verify her identity, or disprove it (I hope), I would have to pay $5 for a temporary membership. I've never wanted to do this for all kinds of reasons. The most practical of the problems: The charge would pop up on my credit card statement, which, in turn, would be spotted by my wife. What should I do? (And I also worry that I have a minor addiction to porn.)

—Dilemma From My DSL

Dear Dil,
Prudie can solve your problems (except maybe the one about looking at freebie porn, then feeling guilty). Regarding the woman you think might be your cousin, there is no need to phone her and ask if she's made any blue movies lately. How about a phone call to her saying you just wanted to know how she was doing, considering all the difficulties she's had? If she gives you any clue that money is a concern, then you can offer a helping hand. That way, if the "actress" was, indeed, your cousin, she need not suffer the humiliation of having been recognized by someone in the family. If the actress is merely a doppelgänger, you have not offended your cousin with the idea that you thought such a thing was possible.

—Prudie, decorously

Suicane75
03-26-2004, 05:59 PM
Translation


Dear Pruddie,
I enjoy looking at porn, my wife thinks it's disgusting. I'm afraid she will yell at me and think I don't love her if she finds out about it. I saw a girl who kind of looks like my cousin and I think I can use that as an excuse to purchase a membership to this site. Please validate me, I have no backbone at all.

Signed,
Pussywhipped

SirFozzie
03-26-2004, 06:22 PM
The funny thing is, that kinda applies to me.

One of my cousins (Heather Yellope, Lives out in Oklahoma) has posed nude in Playboy ;)

Neuqua
03-26-2004, 06:24 PM
I'm going to IM you in a couple minutes, Foz.

That way I give you a few minutes to find a picture for me.

SirFozzie
03-26-2004, 06:30 PM
Perv ;)

Bearcat729
03-26-2004, 07:11 PM
I'm going to IM you in a couple minutes, Foz.

That way I give you a few minutes to find a picture for me.


Damn google image search isn't showing anything....

thealmighty
03-26-2004, 07:20 PM
What was your search? MadamFozzie?

SirFozzie
03-26-2004, 07:24 PM
She was in the 10/94 issue, and no, I don't have any pics :P

Marmel
03-26-2004, 07:28 PM
Holy shit. I know I have that issue back at my parents house.

Desnudo
03-26-2004, 07:48 PM
Just in case any of you ever run into this problem, don't say I never tried to help. :D


Dear Prudie,
I am out of work and sit around all day surfing the internet. To my shame, and occasional self-loathing, due to my early toilet training and "time outs" in the attic, I check out free pornography sites from time to time. (I have never gone further and actually paid to see more because I am not only spineless but cheap to boot). The other day I came across a porn scene featuring a female actress who, I swear, looks just like one of my cousins. Because the film clip is so brief, and I secretly found the man more attractive than her, I can't be sure this person is my cousin. (And I also worry that I have a minor addiction to porn as well as mother issues.)

—Dilemma From Am I Really Gay?

AgPete
03-26-2004, 08:15 PM
The funny thing is, that kinda applies to me.

One of my cousins (Heather Yellope, Lives out in Oklahoma) has posed nude in Playboy ;)

Nah. Playboy ain't porn, it's art. (i.e. a photographer with enough money to airbrush the tattoos and scars :p )

bbor
03-26-2004, 08:52 PM
Holy shit. I know I have that issue back at my parents house.

Hidden under your bed? :)

Ksyrup
03-26-2004, 09:16 PM
To my shame, and occasional self-loathing, I check out free pornography sites from time to time.
I wonder which sites trigger his self-loathing?

JeeberD
03-27-2004, 12:43 PM
She was in the 10/94 issue, and no, I don't have any pics :P

Girls of the SEC, eh? What school did she go to?

finkenst
03-27-2004, 01:32 PM
vanderbilt

JeeberD
03-27-2004, 01:40 PM
Ooh, finky's got a copy...

finkenst
03-27-2004, 01:42 PM
hxxp://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&safe=off&q=heather+yellope (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&safe=off&q=heather+yellope)

4th link down, ya hoser. Eh?

JeeberD
03-27-2004, 01:45 PM
Aww, shit. That's one of the links that I actually didn't click on...

finkenst
03-27-2004, 01:48 PM
Aww, shit. That's one of the links that I actually didn't click on...
no worries, JeeberD!

SirFozzie
03-27-2004, 01:54 PM
If Marm does have the compilation issue with Heather in it, he asked me if it would bother me if he got it scanned and gave people DISCREET links to it (no direct links here on the board, since SkyDog would go BlackHole of a Dark Jedi on me + Marm if we posted a HTTP link ;))

I told him I didn't have any issues with it.

sovereignstar
03-27-2004, 02:11 PM
This thread is funny. I've got my fingers crossed, Marmel.