My Pet Rock Is Crazy

[sabotai]

Seriously, it's insane.

[korme]

EAT IT

[sabotai]

I don't live in Korea. We don't eat out pets in the states...sick bastard.

[Franklinnoble]

Will it fit in your rectum?

[sabotai]

Not in mine, but Shorty can fit a whole shark in his, I'm starting to wonder if I have an adnormally small rectum.

[Franklinnoble]

Not in mine, but Shorty can fit a whole shark in his, I'm starting to wonder if I have an adnormally small rectum.
The Afoci can help you out with that. Do you have any peanut butter?

[sabotai]

You know what. If that is the case, judging by what would be needed to make my rectum of normal size...I'll just live with an abnormally small rectum. STAY AWAY FROM MY RECTUM THE AFOCI!

[korme]

I wonder if Hands to the Rectum visits this forum anymore

[The Afoci]

STAY AWAY FROM MY RECTUM THE AFOCI!

Sorry for you, but today is opposite day.

[judicial clerk]

I am a little stupider for havuing read this thread.

[sabotai]

Sorry for you, but today is opposite day.

Well, if today is opposite day, that would mean I would be gay...so then I'd probably like it.

[The Afoci]

Well, if today is opposite day, that would mean I would be gay...so then I'd probably like it.

So you are saying there is a chance you would like it normally since you would probably like it on opposite day.

Freak.

[sabotai]

So you are saying there is a chance you would like it normally since you would probably like it on opposite day.

Freak.

No, I'm saying if it's opposite day, then I would like it because on unopposite days (normal days), I'd hate it with enough passion to shove your head into Shorty's rectum.

[The Afoci]

No, I'm saying if it's opposite day, then I would like it because on unopposite days (normal days), I'd hate it with enough passion to shove your head into Shorty's rectum.

So you are trying to temp me with my greatest fantasy to do something you hate.

You confuse me.

[sabotai]

You confuse me.

I get that a lot...

[The Afoci]

I get that a lot...

I get a rock stuck in my rectum quite often as well. Never skateboard on gravel.

[sabotai]

Sledding on gravel isn't a good idea either.

[Fritz]

Seriously, it's insane.

the shame here is that this could have been a decent pardoy thread, had Sabotai pirated the original post and made some small changes.

ah, what could have been

[Fritz]

Like this:

We have 2 pet rocks in our 40 (i think) inch fish tank, and we bought them as the length of my hand, and now they are like the length of my hand, seriously wayy too big for the tank they've been sitting in for a few years.

Anyways today I was in the bathroom and it smelled like rock and I was like.. "smells like rock." Oh man what if it's a rock. I never think this thought. Anyways so I go out to check and sure enough one of the rocks is laying on the bottom of the tank. I was like ohhh nooo. I looked at him and he was barely moving his litle rock "arms" and looking around but not doing much, just planted at the bottom of the tank. Then out of nowhere he seems to bristle with potential for movement! But he just statys on the bottom of the tank and lays there, this time for like 3 hours. The last I checked he was slowly tilting over, so I thought he passed.

My dad comes home and I'm telling him about how the rock died and how it was acting funny as it was passing on, fidgety and bristling with potential movement but just staying still. Anyways Dad and I come upstairs to retrieve him from the tank, and low and behold, I see two rocks setting as normal. Even though they were just rocks, my heart started pounding in shock, like it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Perfectly normal looking pet rock (for the most part - wink wink) laying around as if he wasn't dead at the bottom an hour ago.

So the only conclusion my Dad and I could come up with is that when the two rocks were sitting next to each other, they might bang into the walls (again, smaller tank than they should be in). Maybe he hit so hard that he got a concussion or was in a daze of some sort and just passed out.

I didn't know rocks had to deal with things like this. Think about the devistation of a landslide! I thought they were just alive, or dead, I didn't know they could lose consciousness. Is that possible or is this some freak occurance where my rock has been brought back from the dead?

[sabotai]

No one will ever confuse me with someone who isn't lazy...thanks for doing my work Fritz. :)

[Franklinnoble]

Like this:

We have 2 pet rocks in our 40 (i think) inch fish tank, and we bought them as the length of my hand, and now they are like the length of my hand, seriously wayy too big for the tank they've been sitting in for a few years.

Anyways today I was in the bathroom and it smelled like rock and I was like.. "smells like rock." Oh man what if it's a rock. I never think this thought. Anyways so I go out to check and sure enough one of the rocks is laying on the bottom of the tank. I was like ohhh nooo. I looked at him and he was barely moving his litle rock "arms" and looking around but not doing much, just planted at the bottom of the tank. Then out of nowhere he seems to bristle with potential for movement! But he just statys on the bottom of the tank and lays there, this time for like 3 hours. The last I checked he was slowly tilting over, so I thought he passed.

My dad comes home and I'm telling him about how the rock died and how it was acting funny as it was passing on, fidgety and bristling with potential movement but just staying still. Anyways Dad and I come upstairs to retrieve him from the tank, and low and behold, I see two rocks setting as normal. Even though they were just rocks, my heart started pounding in shock, like it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Perfectly normal looking pet rock (for the most part - wink wink) laying around as if he wasn't dead at the bottom an hour ago.

So the only conclusion my Dad and I could come up with is that when the two rocks were sitting next to each other, they might bang into the walls (again, smaller tank than they should be in). Maybe he hit so hard that he got a concussion or was in a daze of some sort and just passed out.

I didn't know rocks had to deal with things like this. Think about the devistation of a landslide! I thought they were just alive, or dead, I didn't know they could lose consciousness. Is that possible or is this some freak occurance where my rock has been brought back from the dead?
I heart Fritz.

[korme]

Fritz, that was fantastic. My sharks are going to bite off your dick now.

[Fritz]

and that is why you should leave this type of thing to the pros.

[sabotai]

I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

[Fritz]

send me a dollar.

[sabotai]

No.

[Fritz]

put the lotion in the basket

[WSUCougar]

Fritz, that was fantastic. My sharks are going to bite off your dick now.See, it's this kind of off-the-cuff comment that provokes the dolphins and kangaroos to violence.

[Fritz]

See, it's this kind of off-the-cuff comment that provokes the dolphins and kangaroos to violence.


good thing the two don't directly compete for living space

[sabotai]

I'd love to see dolphins and kangaroos fight. I'd at least be more interesting than a Ruiz fight...well, watching grass grow is more interesting than a Ruiz fight...but still. I'd love to see that fight.

[bigdawg2003]

and solo from the pet rock!