CM 03/04: Bolton

[mordhiem]

Saturday, 13th March, 2004

Allardyce Sacked
Under fire manager goes, just minutes after defeat to Everton keeps Bolton in 19th place

Bolton produced a lifeless performance at Goodison, crashing to a 3-1 they could ill afford. Allardyce had been publicly warned by the Bolton chairman, Peter Gartside less than a week about that his job was on the line and now it appears Gartside's patience has snapped. Knocked out of the FA cup by Liverpool and consecutive league defeats to Tottenham and now Everton put to bed any remaining optomisim from their useful pre-christmas run. Allardyce was a lonley figure trudging towards the tunnel at 4.45 this afternoon, barely remebering to shake the hand of his opposite number, David Moyes. He knew his time was up. Gartside confirmed it almost immediatley at a post-match press conference back at the Reebok.

http://www.photodump.com/direct/pskov/140304table.jpg
The relegation battle is coming to a conclusion

The question now though is of the future. Bolton are in a hole and it will certainly take something to get them out of it. There are no obvious candidates for the job avaliable, Hoddle and Strachan have ruled out any quick return to management and no lower division manager would risk his career by juping on this doomed ship. Gartside however seemed undeterred "Yes, we have a replacement lined up. All I can say is that it will be a suprise, we should be able to get more to you tomorrow." Of course this still doesn't resolve....

[mordhiem]

Sunday, 14th March, 2004

New Bolton Manager Hired
But has anyone heard of him?

Well, Mr. Gartside was right when he predicted a suprise for everyone in the naming of the new Bolton manager, who is this bloke? "No, he isn't just anyone off the street, I think he will do a good job here." Gartside blasted back at one reporter who questioned the wisdom of the move. Well, Robert Hillier had to get to work right away, answering a series of questions. This reporter never knew it was possible to ask "Who are you?" in so many varied ways. It appears that Hillier has never been in charge of a professional football team, or in fact any kind of football team (barring his success at managing his sons under 12's to 3rd place in the Newbury youth league, which he was oh so keen to point out). This seems the most ridiculous choice ever in at a top flight club anywhere in world....

Well, the press wasn't great but so what. My job wasn't to win over journalists it was to win games, to avoid relegation. This would require the summing up of all my previous experience, but considering we have a cafeteria for food and a physio to apply the the plasters that won't be very helpfull. Well, I could still get the half-time oranges. Explaining how I got this job would be a long winded and ultimatley pointless story, so it's much easier just to skip it and allow the sporting historians of the future to uncover it for themselves. After all, if everyone wrote everything down, there would be nothing for historians to do and they would become mere glorified librarians, rather than the respected and admired profession that thay are. Plus, it will help the economy by providing historian jobs, so it is ultimatley much better that I don't tell anyone. Any ancillary benefits to me, such as less work, are purely secondary.

Mr. Gartside was a big, fat, pie-eating lancastrian in his 60's who tries to hide his bald patch by combing over whatever little tufts of hair he could find above his ears. It reminded me of Bobby Charlton, only worse.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38029000/jpg/_38029984_020526_lalo_300.jpg
Mr. Gatside's hair looked like this, only comically worse

The conversation when I first met him was brief and pointless:

"Well lad" he gruffed "We don' 'ave much cash 'ere, no liquid assests y'see" he exclaimed as I was temporarily dazzled by the sun striking one his many gold rings "so ye best be gettin' on wi' whatever you got here for the mo', airight?"
"Umm, yes"
"Good, now I'm off t' see t' missus. Tara."
"Err, Mr. Gartside? Are you not going to show me around the club? Introduce me to the players? My staff?"
"Errr.... No lad. You c'n do all that on yer own, cantcha?"

And he left in his Porsche.

I got the feeling that Mr. Gartside wasn't all that dedicated to the club. All up to me I guess.