John Kerry is a Douche Bag, but...

[Honolulu_Blue]

I am most certainly voting for him anyway.

Great site and oh so true.

Read. Learn. Vote (for Kerry).

http://johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com/

-----------------------

It almost goes without saying that there are a few things wrong with this country right now. There is one thing in particular, though, that seems to be the root of all of these problems. I'll give you a hint: it starts with a 'G', and ends with an 'eorge W. Bush'. Did you figure it out? Millions of Americans already have.

This, of course, brings us sharply to a point: we need new leadership in this country, and we need it badly. I am not one who is known to meddle in politics, or, in all honesty, prior to this election year, vote. However, I feel so strongly that the fate of this great nation, and indeed even the modern world as we know it, hinges solely on this election, that I felt compelled to put my thoughts to word. And those thoughts are...
John Kerry is a douchebag, but I'm voting for him anyway. Well, not really. That is to say, he's not actually a douchebag, or not nearly as much of one as what the media, George W., and even perhaps John Kerry himself have made him out to be. It seemed that every time I saw, heard, or read something about Kerry, his doucheness factor increased. It wasn't until I did just a little research on my own that it became clear that most of these occurrences could be explained as lies, deception, media excess, or simply poor campaigning strategy. It is beyond vital that we all overlook these minor blemishes and unpleasantries, and unite in electing John Kerry to be the next president of the United States of America.

My goal for this website is to write the five essays listed at the left over the months of April and May of 2004. With luck, I will achieve one a week, however my ultimate plan is to complete all of them by the end of May. I sincerely hope that through these essays, there will be no doubt left in the minds of anyone "on the fence" that John Kerry is THE ONLY candidate to vote for in November. If I do as well as I hope, even conservatives will be led to do a little pondering on the subject, and perhaps even begin to consider the benefits of voting for a Democrat, if only once.

[Solecismic]

I'm still holding out hope for "President None of the Above". But I think only one state allows you to make that particular choice.

Perhaps it's time for a write-in campaign.

It's amazing that Kerry is also running for president of Belgium. I would think he'd have no trouble beating Bush there.

[TLK]

Jim for President..... :)

[Solecismic]

Jim for President..... :)

I was not born in the U.S., so I'm limited to running in Belgium as well.

[GoldenEagle]

So let me get this straight. This guy wants me to vote for John Kerry becuase he is not as big as a douchebag as the media makes him out to be? Uh, sorry, I am going to need a little more reasoning than that to vote for the guy.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I'm still holding out hope for "President None of the Above". But I think only one state allows you to make that particular choice.

Perhaps it's time for a write-in campaign.

It's amazing that Kerry is also running for president of Belgium. I would think he'd have no trouble beating Bush there.

I'm an American citizen!

I am mailing my vote in!

And, despite the fact that you went to the finest university our country has to offer (University of Michigan for the ignoramuses), I will not be voting for you, Jim. It'd probably be a wasted vote and I think the whole president thing would distract from your next Solecismic game. No one wants that.

[Honolulu_Blue]

So let me get this straight. This guy wants me to vote for John Kerry becuase he is not as big as a douchebag as the media makes him out to be? Uh, sorry, I am going to need a little more reasoning than that to vote for the guy.

Above all else, four more years of George W. is one reason to vote for Kerry. It is a completely sufficient reason for such a course of action. The rest is just fluff.

[TLK]

I'll be voting for Mr. Kerry.... just becuse he's the best of a bad bunch..... unless we can come up with a "strong" (I'm talking like 100 votes :)) write-in candidate....... are there any viewable records of write-in votes?

[GoldenEagle]

Above all else, four more years of George W. is one reason to vote for Kerry. It is a completely sufficient reason for such a course of action. The rest is just fluff.
The guy offeres no explanation of why note to vote for George Bush. Hopefully he will in his essays if he wants to make any political sense. I just have a hard time being convinced by someone to vote for Kerry becuase he is not as big as a douchebag as he seems, regardless of who his opponent is.

[Solecismic]

I would vote for Kerry's wife over either one of them. It's funny that she didn't even register as a Democrat until last year. But I'm pretty sure she wasn't born in the U.S., either.

Thinking about it, I'd kinda like to run for president of Belgium. I hope that only having a few years of French in high school isn't too much of a deterrant for the voters.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I would vote for Kerry's wife over either one of them. It's funny that she didn't even register as a Democrat until last year. But I'm pretty sure she wasn't born in the U.S., either.

Thinking about it, I'd kinda like to run for president of Belgium. I hope that only having a few years of French in high school isn't too much of a deterrant for the voters.

Belgium could use the help. There are lots of problems that could really use some stream-lining and some good, old American efficiency.

I am sure you could pull it off. I'll start laying the groundwork, grass roots campaign and all.

Don't worry about the French, just learn a little Flemish and we'll go that route.

[Cecil Fielder]

John Kerry will certainly win because it's all a part of the grand conspiracy.... just like his father, George W. was only meant to serve one term, he has served his purpose, and now Kerry will win and probably serve two terms while we all relax and breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy prosperous times as we did throughout the 90's with Clinton as president.... and then BOOM! the shit's really gonna hit the fan in 2012.

all part of the plan, my friends... all part of the plan .

[Solecismic]

Don't worry about the French, just learn a little Flemish and we'll go that route.

Harrumph, ahemmm, hrmmm, aggggghhhh, gallumphh.... this language is tough. Maybe it would be easier if I had a cold, or bronchitis.

[Flasch186]

doesnt matter if you come up with thousands of reasons not to vote for Bush and his amdinistartion which is covered in deceibt the latest one coming out this week, involving hiding the pentagon report. Doesnt matter, ive come to realize that here on this board the dittoheads will ALWAYS be stuck in their inability to change their minds. I believe in the political world they like to call that a "flip flop". I call that reasoning, and changing your mind, all good smart things in my book.

Let me count the ways:

Enron gouging California while meeting with Cheney
Outsourcing is supported by the admin UNLESS it involves the drug industry, their biggest contributor
WMD
Pictures of coffins in dover
Only speaking before the commission hand in hand
CIA operative exposed by "someone in the admin" and her Husband happens to be anti-war senator (federal crime BTW but Ashcroft hasnt done anything about it)
Declaring war over, then sayng we didnt put that banner there.

etc. etc. etc. Im sure im missing a few but Like I said - It doesnt matter

Some of us like to be lied to, i guess.

[Buzzbee]

And, despite the fact that you went to the finest university our country has to offer (University of Michigan for the ignoramuses), I will not be voting for you, Jim.

Anyone else catch the UIC?

I guess non-ignoramuses can't go to U of M. :p

[Honolulu_Blue]

Anyone else catch the UIC?

I guess non-ignoramuses can't go to U of M. :p

Heh! Classic!

[GoldenEagle]

doesnt matter if you come up with thousands of reasons not to vote for Bush and his amdinistartion which is covered in deceibt the latest one coming out this week, involving hiding the pentagon report. Doesnt matter, ive come to realize that here on this board the dittoheads will ALWAYS be stuck in their inability to change their minds. I believe in the political world they like to call that a "flip flop". I call that reasoning, and changing your mind, all good smart things in my book.

Let me count the ways:

Enron gouging California while meeting with Cheney
Outsourcing is supported by the admin UNLESS it involves the drug industry, their biggest contributor
WMD
Pictures of coffins in dover
Only speaking before the commission hand in hand
CIA operative exposed by "someone in the admin" and her Husband happens to be anti-war senator (federal crime BTW but Ashcroft hasnt done anything about it)
Declaring war over, then sayng we didnt put that banner there.

etc. etc. etc. Im sure im missing a few but Like I said - It doesnt matter

Some of us like to be lied to, i guess.
If being lied to will prevent another attack like 9/11, then yes, I want to be lied to.

[clintl]

If being lied to will prevent another attack like 9/11, then yes, I want to be lied to.

It won't, though. What Bush has done in Iraq makes another attack more likely, not less.

[wig]

I still say Edwards should have been the Democrat nominee

[lcjjdnh]

Not to bring this thread futher off-topic but with not one but two UofM alumni posting I couldn't pass up the chance to post here too. I'm going to be going to the school next yaer and am really quite excited to be doing so. Just a quick couple of questions for you guys if you can remember back to your days at the school and don't mind answering.

1)How are the South Quad dorms in relation to the others? I'm pretty sure I'll be in the South Quad which is the dorm I visited when I went out this winter and it seemed quite nice but there's only so much you can gather from walking through a dorm for a few minutes and then eating in the cafeteria.

2)The football stadium seems kind of close, is it a walkable distance from the middle of campus?

3)Lastly any tips for places in Ann Arbor I should check out while I'm there.

Thanks in advance and GO BLUE.

[chinaski]

I still say Edwards should have been the Democrat nominee
amen brutha!

[Honolulu_Blue]

Not to bring this thread futher off-topic but with not one but two UofM alumni posting I couldn't pass up the chance to post here too. I'm going to be going to the school next yaer and am really quite excited to be doing so. Just a quick couple of questions for you guys if you can remember back to your days at the school and don't mind answering.

1)How are the South Quad dorms in relation to the others? I'm pretty sure I'll be in the South Quad which is the dorm I visited when I went out this winter and it seemed quite nice but there's only so much you can gather from walking through a dorm for a few minutes and then eating in the cafeteria.

2)The football stadium seems kind of close, is it a walkable distance from the middle of campus?

3)Lastly any tips for places in Ann Arbor I should check out while I'm there.

Thanks in advance and GO BLUE.

Ahh... UofM if never off topic!

1) South Quad is a good dorm. Almost ideally located. Back in the day, it was considered the "jock" dorm of sorts, lots football, hockey, baseball, etc. players in the dorm. Can't go wrong.

2) Yes. The stadium is a walkable distance, especially from South Quad. It's no more than a 15 minute walk. If you were to try to drive there from the middle of campus it'd take you 4 times as long (on game day), cost a ton to park, and be incredibly annoying. Basically all the students walk to the game. Thousands of them. Driving in Ann Arbor prior to or after a game is a freaking nightmare.

3) Michigan Theater. Huge, old theater. My favorite place in Ann Arbor. Shows first run and classic films. Grab a calendar outside each month and keep track. Thanos Lamplighter is a decent spot for lunch. Red Hawk as well. Red Hawk is a great place to take the parents when they come to visit. Zingermans goes without saying (world famous sandwhiches). If you want to stock up on Michigan apparrel (which of course you will) go to... hmm, I want to say Steve and Barry's, but not sure if that's right. It's Steve and something, I am sure. You get 3 for 1 on basically every piece of Michigan clothing. When you come of age, Ashley's is a great bar. Illions of beers available. Take advantage of the Arb. It's not too far a walk and it's pretty big. Cool place to waste a nice afternoon (not that you'll have too many of those between Sept-May) in Michigan. Remember Pizza House. It's expensive as hell, but open for delivery until 4 am every night.

[stevew]

This website should be called

Iamatoolwhoworshipsjohnkerrybuttoappeartobehipiwillrefertohimasadouchebag.com

[Noop]

Bush to me is a puppet. He is president only in name in my opinion. He has Cheney and Rumsfeld pushing the war machine while he just goes with the flow. Sad thing is I am afraid Reps will vote his brother into office soon as Jeb runs.... Fuck Jeb. Vote John Kerry because C.Powell is siding with the enemy.

[WSUCougar]

Harrumph, ahemmm, hrmmm, aggggghhhh, gallumphh.... this language is tough. Maybe it would be easier if I had a cold, or bronchitis.Not phlegmish!

[BishopMVP]

Bush has so many problems with him I think Jon Stewart summed it up best. Any cadidate with marginal, or even limited political skill could have defeated him in the fall, but Democrats chose this guy. Have fun waking up in November if/when W wins.

EDIT - Just in case that didn't annoy you, Go Fighting Irish! (September 11th in South Bend) :)

[EightOfEight]

And from another UM alum... South Quad is right around the corner from Blimpy Burger... home of the triple cheeseburger with on an onion roll with blue cheese...

mmmm

Ahh... UofM if never off topic!

3) Michigan Theater. Huge, old theater. My favorite place in Ann Arbor. Shows first run and classic films. Grab a calendar outside each month and keep track. Thanos Lamplighter is a decent spot for lunch. Red Hawk as well. Red Hawk is a great place to take the parents whe they come to visit. Zingermans goes without saying (world famous sandwhiches). If you want to stock up on Michigan apparrel (which of course you will) go to... hmm, I want to say Steve and Barry's, but not sure if that's right. It's Steve and something, I am sure. You get 3 for 1 on basically every piece of Michigan clothing. When you come of age, Ashley's is a great bar. Illions of beers available. Take advantage of the Arb. It's not too far a walk and it's pretty big. Cool place to waste a nice afternoon (not that you'll have too many of those between Sept-May) in Michigan. Remember Pizza House. It's expensive as hell, but open for delivery until 4 am every night.

[Honolulu_Blue]

And from another UM alum... South Quad is right around the corner from Blimpy Burger... home of the triple cheeseburger with on an onion roll with blue cheese...

mmmm


I think I just had two heart attacks remembering Blimpy

[lcjjdnh]

Haha, I'll have to check out this Blimpy Burger place while I'm out there for orientation this June.

As for you Bishop, the Mich/ND game has been the topic of conversation for quite sometime in my school. A kid who graduated two years ago from my school is a starter on the Notre Dame team now and one teacher has already projected him scoring 3 TDs and proceeding to spike the ball in my face. Plus a few of my Dad's buddies are Notre Dame alumni and were trying to get tickets so that I could meet them out there for the game but apparently have had no luck as of yet. It should be a good game though, of course Michigan will be coming out "the Victors"(cue fight song).

[Honolulu_Blue]

EDIT - Just in case that didn't annoy you, Go Fighting Irish! (September 11th in South Bend) :)

Two words:

Thirty-Eight. Zero.

[Honolulu_Blue]

It should be a good game though, of course Michigan will be coming "the Victors"(cue fight song).

Good lad. You'll do just fine...

[Noop]

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR bgColor=#dddddd><TD vAlign=bottom height=22></TD><TD vAlign=bottom width="3%" height=22>W</TD><TD vAlign=bottom width="22%" height=22>37-0 (http://floridastate.rivals.com/boxscore.asp?Game=13396)</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[Schmidty]

Politics and the University of Michigan in the same thread? Excuse me while I vomit........

[Honolulu_Blue]

Politics and the University of Michigan in the same thread? Excuse me while I vomit........

SPARTY!!!!

[BishopMVP]

Two words:

Thirty-Eight. Zero.I think that's three, but anyway, our team was bad last season. Now that Quinn has a year of experience and a plethora of good receivers (Stovall, McKnight and Samardzija reportedly stepped up in the spring) combined with Michigan's questionable defensive line (I heard they might move to a 3-4) should make for an interesting game. And we won the last time at South Bend too ;)

Noop - At least we're not the third best team in the state and fading. I heard Chris Rix had a good spring - running track. Maybe he should've studied some game tapes instead. :p

[WussGawd]

I would vote for Kerry's wife over either one of them. It's funny that she didn't even register as a Democrat until last year. But I'm pretty sure she wasn't born in the U.S., either.

Thinking about it, I'd kinda like to run for president of Belgium. I hope that only having a few years of French in high school isn't too much of a deterrant for the voters.

Teresa Heinz-Kerry was born in South Africa.

[Noop]

Noop - At least we're not the third best team in the state and fading. I heard Chris Rix had a good spring - running track. Maybe he should've studied some game tapes instead. :p
Third best? 1. Miami 2. Florida State 3. Florida..... that is the correct order my friend. We went 10-3 inspite of Chris Rix so it is safe to assume that we'll be fine again this season. Also we're not fading we're just waiting until W.Sexton, X.Lee, or D. Weatherford take the reins of the offense. 37-0 and it still feels good :)