An accident, a murder, what's left?

[Ben E Lou]

Unfortunately, a suicide. :(

For the third time in less than a year, the life of a young person that was involved in Young Life in my community has come to an untimely end. A young man, who finished his time at Lakeside High in 2002, took his own life over the weekend. Matt was actually more involved than either Hannah or Bill when he was in high school. He went to camp in Colorado on trips that I led twice, and went on numerous weekend trips with us as well. This kind of thing is never easy, but this one is particuarly tough, because he was a spectacularly brilliant kid who was also spectacularly troubled (which was very obvious well before this happened). To put it bluntly, of all the kids I've known in 15 years, including those who have SAID they've thought about or even made a plan for suicide, in my mind he was always the most likely candidate. On the one hand, I feel like I was aware of the situation and did all I could, but on the other, there's that seed of doubt that "maybe we could have done more for him.."

I spent a couple of hours at his parents' house this afternoon. This was supposed to be a joyous time. Their oldest graduated from Tech last Saturday, and Matt, surprising everyone, showed up and even hung out with the family afterward. They had seen him just two hours before he ended his life on Thursday night. He leaves behind a 22-year-old brother, a 16-year-old sister, and a circa-8-year-old brother, along with his parents, Barry and Julie. Those so inclined, please keep them, (and my community, once again) in your prayers.

[DeToxRox]

If someone wants to take their life bad enough, you can't help them.

Sorry for your loss SkyDog, and you seem to be someone who's impact has made quite a difference, never forget that.

[Buccaneer]

I am so sorry. :(

[Eaglesfan27]

I'm very sorry too. As someone who evaluates suicidal kids for a living, the family and community always feel there is more then could have been done. Sometimes there isn't anything more that could have been done. That is a scary thought for many, myself included. I will keep the community and his family in my prayers tonight.

[Poli]

I'll be praying for the family. Thanks for doing what you do SkyDog.

[Ben E Lou]

I'll be praying for the family. Thanks for doing what you do SkyDog.I appreciate that. It has been a hard year, to say the least. Before Hannah's death in July (motorcycle accident), I had never lost a kid who had been currently involved. With Hannah's, then Bill's, and now Matt's passings, each one has gotten progressively closer to home. I spent over a month in trips with Matt over the time he was in high school, and he was in my small cabin of 8-12 guys on at least three different trips that I can think of off the top of my head, including one week-long one in Colorado.

[JAG]

Very sorry to hear about the loss Ben.

[digamma]

Deepest condolences to you, the family and the community.

[MizzouRah]

Very sad. I'm sorry to hear that Ben. :(


Todd

[vtbub]

Hang in there Ben.

You do, and have done, tremendous work under circumstances that defies logic and would make the strongest of us question why.

But you do with class, grace, and elegance at times when you are needed.

Better days ahead:)

Ron

[Lucky Jim]

I'm sorry man. I've been through something similar, and it is harder when you see it coming. You do great work, I felt pretty helpless in my situation, and it was someone like you that helped us all come to terms. Stay strong, my prayers are with you and the family.

[sachmo71]

If there were one lesson that I wish young people could learn first, it would be that all things pass.

[kcchief19]

Ben, I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and everyone else down there on your loss.

Knowing what I know about you, I'm willing to bet the house you did all you could. Don't let the doubt win. Keep up the good work you do.

[SplitPersonality1]

So sorry Ben. We will keep you and your community in our prayers.

[Dutch]

Ben,

I have the utmost respect for you because I know you truly care about helping the youth of our nation grow stronger. There aren't many people out there that care nearly as much as you do. And many of us don't do as much as you do.

Anyway, I'm sorry about the loss.

[Anthony]

i feel bad to hear this news. not deeply bad (i didn't know him personally), but bad enough to hear someone felt they had no more options in life but to end their own.

may God bless his family and your community.

[Vince]

Tough, tough news. I'll keep you all in my thoughts. :(

[Ben E Lou]

Thanks for all the kind words, guys. I really appreciate it. This is from this morning's AJC:

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD width="2%"></TD><TD align=middle><!-- BEGIN death notice table. --><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD colSpan=3 height=5></TD></TR><!-- BEGIN death notice text table rows. --><TR><TD class=lgyHeading vAlign=bottom width="55%">Matthew Ryan Comer

</TD><TD width="1%"></TD><TD class=lgyNormal align=right width="44%"> </TD></TR><TR><TD colSpan=3 height=4></TD></TR><TR><TD class=lgyNotice colSpan=3><!-- paid --><!-- Full Name=Matthew COMER -->http://www.legacy.com/Images/Cobrands/Atlanta/Photos/51020058_05102004_Photo_1.jpg
Family-Placed Death Notice

MATTHEW RYAN COMER Of Stone Mountain died Thursday, May 6, 2004. He is survived by his parents, Dr. Barry Comer and Dr. Julia Comer of Atlanta, GA; sister, Mary Kathryn Comer; brothers, Michael Comer and Daniel Comer, all of Atlanta, GA; grandparents, Rev. Donald and Ola Comer of Clearwater, FL; uncle and aunt, Ken and Laura Comer of Fort Myers, FL; aunt, Donna Singer, and cousin, Noel Quinones, both of Crystal Beach, FL. Funeral services will be held at 10:00 a.m. Wednesday, May 12th at Clairmont Presbyterian Church with Dr. Tom Pipkin and Dr. Scott Weimer officiating. The body will lie in state from 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. Interment Floral Hills Memory Gardens. In lieu of flowers, those desiring may contribute to Young Life Northlake, P.O. Box 1285, Tucker, GA., 30085, 404-634-7339. The family will receive friends from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. Tuesday at A. S. Turner & Sons.


</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[SnowMan]

There are no words; my thoughts are with Ryan's friends and family.

[GrantDawg]

My prayers are with you and the family, Ben.

[Darkiller]

Very sorry to read that Ben...

[JonInMiddleGA]

Prayers for all who suffered from this loss.

Jon

[fantastic flying froggies]

Ben, just sitting there in front of my PC for the last few minutes, staring blankly at the screen trying to find something to say... and there is just nothing to say.

Really so sorry...

[corbes]

My prayers will be with you, the family, and your community.

[Coder]

None of you guys really know me, but since I've been reading these boards since frontofficefootball.com I feel like I know you all, including you SkyDog.

While I fully realize that nothing will take the sadness away from what's happened, nor will anything bring him back, you should take comfort in the fact that you've saved many lives. Being in your situation, it's the ones that disappear you notice, but you'll never be able to fully realize how many people you've managed to sway away from the path of suicide by just being there.

I'm not religious and come from a country where religion isn't even nearly as prominent as in the United States, but having spent 2 years in Tifton, Georgia I've learned just how much good religion actually can do for troubled people. I've learned to respect those who are fortunate to have so much, sacrifice their time and effort to help those who aren't as fortunate.

As I started saying, I know this won't bring anyone back, but when something like this happens, it's important to remember the positive parts, and not give up.

[Wolfpack]

I am sorry to hear of your loss, SkyDog. I've experienced this sort of loss before and I can tell you from personal experience that sometimes these sorts of things just come out of nowhere and no amount of foreknowledge on our part is going to anticipate when and where this sort of thing will happen. You yourself mentioned that he seemed to be fine right up until the event. It sounds familiar to a friend of mine in high school. I saw her at the end of the school day waiting outside a classroom to go in and talk to a teacher. I briefly chatted with her and there was absolutely no indication at all of what was going to happen that night. Later that night I get a phone call from a friend that she killed herself. I remember just being stunned since I talked with her pretty much every day (we were on the HS quiz bowl team together) and had no clue at all that anything was wrong.

Anyway, all of you are in my prayers....

[Vegas Vic]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, and with the family and friends of Matthew.

[judicial clerk]

I would echo what Coder wrote. I feel like I know you, Ben, and I am sorry for your loss.

[Franklinnoble]

Ben, that's got to be like a punch in the gut, especially considering how hard you work for these kids, and the kind of relationships you build with them. There's no greater calling than that of the ministry, especially to young men and women who are going through the most confusing and simultaneously formative years of their lives. Please don't become hardened or discouraged by these repeated setbacks; not that I'd assume you would - you know as well as anyone here that He has a plan and a purpose for everything, despite the efforts of the enemy to steer us off the path. I will pray for you and for those who knew and loved Matthew, and I will rejoice for Matthew, for he knew Jesus as his Lord and Savior, and now stands beside him for all eternity.