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View Full Version : The Lunchables Strike Back!


The Afoci
05-11-2004, 04:53 PM
So, a few of you here may know the legend of me stealing two bologna lunchables some four years ago. Little did I know they would strike back at me.

Well, anyway, I stopped being a car salesman about 5 months ago and actually quit the job last week after I lined up my new sweet salaried position. The problem, or so I thought, was the drug screening. Well I like to occasionally dabble in herbal medicene, but stopped for two weeks, found a masking agent endorsed by Barry and thought I was good. So two days after quitting, the news comes that I pass my driving record test, my drug screening, but no word on my criminal background check yet...

Well it got me wondering, hey, what about those lunchables... I thought it was a petty mistameanor and remembered the judge saying since it was my first offense that it wouldn't be on my record if I was a good boy for one year.

Well, now it is painfully obvious what happened, but after hearing I have a mistameanor, not getting my sweet new job, I figured I better go to the court house and figure out what happened. It turns out that I was charged with a mistameaner even though it was fifty dollars, which the lady I talked to at court said was very odd, but then it was never dropped from my record because I never came in and signed the proper form!!!! For the love of God, call me to remind me or something!!! Oh well, I find out with a lawyer I can get it removed. So I get that all taken care of only to find out my position was already filled! Sadly there aren't a bunch of jobs for former child prostitutes turned animal whore turned car salesman... Well there is, but I want my cushy salaried job back....

This is where you all point and laugh at me for being a fool and tell me I am lucky I can get it off my record in the first place. :)

The Afoci
$2.78 worth of stolen goods, mistameanor... I guess that seems excessive. I am an idiot.

I got no job.

JonInMiddleGA
05-11-2004, 05:00 PM
I am lucky I can get it off my record in the first place.
That pretty much covers it.

The Afoci
05-11-2004, 05:11 PM
That pretty much covers it.

I think the lady at the courthouse was so helpful because I told her that I screwed up, but was wondering if there was anything I could do so that it wouldn't prevent me from getting a good job considering it was a relatively minor offense. Plus I smelt good. ;)

TargetPractice6
05-11-2004, 05:16 PM
I still can't believe you actually went back in the store! :p

korme
05-11-2004, 05:21 PM
Damn, sorry about the job problems Teh Afoci

Franklinnoble
05-11-2004, 05:22 PM
I didn't hear the original story... but I'm sorry to hear that something so minor cost you a shot at a job. That's a bummer. :(

sabotai
05-11-2004, 05:34 PM
I missed the original story....why the hell would you steal two lunchables?

Poli
05-11-2004, 06:59 PM
I missed the original story....why the hell would you steal two lunchables?

The Afoci's got to eat, you know.

korme
05-11-2004, 07:12 PM
here..

I missed the original story....why the hell would you steal two lunchables?
The truth about my childhood

I was actually caught with 2 bologna lunchables while attempting to leave a grocery store...the second time. A friend and I were hungry(hmmm....) and decide to pick up some lunchables. Being on sale for $1.39 each, we thought, they wouldn't miss $2.78. I was wrong. We made it out the door but were caught after re-entering the store to bag our product. A wise decision that lead to a $200 fine and a suspend 30 days in jail for 1 year. And we never got to eat the food. A truly sad day. http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

finkenst
05-11-2004, 07:37 PM
The Afoci
$3.38 worth of stolen goods, mistameanor... I guess that seems excessive. I am an idiot.

I got no job.
never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

The Afoci
05-11-2004, 08:32 PM
Hmmm. It was 2.78, don't remember how I got 3.38 but it was wrong. Anywho, I faxed the ticket and some form that had what I got for it to the lawyer and he confirmed I never went to sign the form that would have taken it off my record.

Yeah, the whole decision to go back in the store after leaving to bag the item really topped the situation off. 100% pure stupidity. Plus I don't like bologna. And all this was before I learned to do drugs. :)

I was really down about it last night, but things are looking good today, I had 3 interviews with places I would feel very comfortable working for. Not salaried, but it least they have base pay to go with commission. I have never had a job after college that wasn't full commission, so this could be nice.

Eaglesfan27
05-11-2004, 08:44 PM
I know I make many grammar and spelling mistakes, but it is "misdemeanor" not "mistameanor."

Sorry to hear about your job troubles. :(

The Afoci
05-11-2004, 08:46 PM
I know I make many grammar and spelling mistakes, but it is "misdemeanor" not "mistameanor."

Sorry to hear about your job troubles. :(

Thanks for making me look like a bigger idiot. At least I had a chance with the people who couldn't spell. :)

Poli
05-11-2004, 08:58 PM
You've never had a chance with me. :)

sabotai
05-11-2004, 09:41 PM
That was...before drugs?

*turns on tape recorder and press record*
Note to the World: The Afoci should never be in a decision-making situtation.
*presses stop*

Pumpy Tudors
05-11-2004, 09:48 PM
how the f old were u when this hapened man thats wack

Fonzie
05-11-2004, 11:43 PM
I thought this thread was going to be about diarrhea. :(

The Afoci
05-11-2004, 11:46 PM
how the f old were u when this hapened man thats wack

I was 19 and broke. Not that it justifies at all what I did, I mean, if I was that broke I had to steal food, it should have been way more than lunchables...

Pumpy Tudors
05-11-2004, 11:51 PM
dude 19!! when i was 19 i stole my moms car and her boyfriend. u suk.

samifan24
05-12-2004, 12:26 AM
dude 19!! when i was 19 i stole my moms car and her boyfriend. u suk.

You stole your mom's boyfriend? :D

GoldenEagle
05-12-2004, 12:38 AM
You stole your mom's boyfriend? :D
I saw this on the Springer Show once. I can not believe that was Pumpy Tudors!

You bitch :eek:

Pumpy Tudors
05-12-2004, 12:40 AM
i want someone to touch me :(

The Afoci
05-12-2004, 10:40 AM
dude 19!! when i was 19 i stole my moms car and her boyfriend. u suk.

I was a good kid who made a really dumb mistake. Just happened that my dumb mistake was after I was 18, not before, so I get fucked. Not that I shouldn't have known better. I really can't defend myself.

finkenst
05-12-2004, 07:21 PM
I was a good kid, so I get fucked. Not that I shouldn't have known better. I really can't defend myself.
I thought your sentence was suspended.

:p

The Afoci
05-12-2004, 10:34 PM
I thought your sentence was suspended.

:p

My jail time, 30 days for under 3 dollars, was suspended, not what was placed on my record.