top 10 sports commentator funnies..

[Primal]

A buddy of mine posted this to another board. Sorry if its old news but I thought it was funny:

1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was truly amazing."


2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."

9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"

[LionsFan10]

I seen a horse racing show, and one of the names of the horses was "hoof hearted." Try saying that really quick and you'll understand why the commentator couldn't stop laughing while he was calling the race.

[atatange1]

I saw that same thing LionsFan. I never laughed so hard.

[davidlando1]

This was awhile ago, i think in the late 80's or early 90's. But on a TBS Braves broadcast, Skip Caray was reffering to the SF Giants new female PA announcer this way "at least she's not one of those screamers" ..........Also, on a Blackhawks broadcast about two years ago, a Blackhawk player took a stick to the groin, The analyst thought he was hit in the knee, until he saw the replay, then the announcer Pat Foley goes "was that the knee, or the wee knee" followed my about 2 minutes of silence and snickering. eh, i guess you had to hear em :D

[clintl]

The Jerry Coleman Collection (http://www.znetsports.com/jerrycoleman_quotes.asp)

JERRY COLEMAN QUOTES


"I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over."

"A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on."

"If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement."

"It's a basehit on the error by Roberts."

"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."

"Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play."

"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."

" They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb."

"Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus."

"From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye."

"Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything."

"There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number."

"Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double."

"Turner pulls into second with a sun-blown double."

"Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball."

"All the Padres need is a flyball in the air."

"Davis fouls out to third in fair territory."

"There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul."

"The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five."

"That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres -- two doubles and a triple."

"Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening."

"Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1."

"Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500."

"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."

"That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures."

"Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues."

"The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split."

"At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3."

"Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia."

"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."

"The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston."

"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican ?"

"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."

"I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series."

"National League umpires wear inside chest protesters."

"The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin."

"Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game."

"Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now."

"Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredicatable."

"Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion."

"The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century."

"There's two heads to every coin."

"Billy Almon has all of his inlaw and outlaws here this afternoon."

"If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did."

"On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo."

"Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play."

"The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there."

"Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot."

"If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck."

"He can be lethal death."

"Sometimes, big trees grow out of acorns. I think I heard that from a squirrel."

"Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it."

"Hats off to drug abusers everywhere."

"That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it."

[Pyser]

<<"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.">>

I've read that one a couple times....and still have absolutely no idea how that statement could have happened.

[ageofquarrel]

<<"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.">>

I've read that one a couple times....and still have absolutely no idea how that statement could have happened.

Same here. I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard.

i found another site with more quotes some are the same.

http://www.funny2.com/coleman.htm

[dawgfan]

During the Huskies game with the Bruins last season, Husky QB Cody Pickett was sacked by Dave and Mat Ball, twin DE's for the Bruins. The UCLA radio announcer called it like this (I'm paraphrasing from memory):

"That's a twin-Ball sack!"

I wonder how long he'd been waiting to say that... :D

[mordhiem]

9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

That is actually from an infamous piece of soccer commentary. Julian Dicks of West Ham United fame.

The best sporting quote ever is pretty cut and dried in my book.

"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey" - Brian Johnson

[kcchief19]

I think it was also Coleman who had one of my favorites along these lines: "The center fielder is going back, he jumps, he hits head his head against the wall and it's rolling back toward the infield.

And, of course, courtesy of Fred White in Kansas City the night that wire erroneously had the same pitcher coming out of the bullpen who was already pitching: "Well, I see in Minnesota Felton is relieving himself on the mound."

[VPI97]

Frankie Frisch - "It's a beautiful day for a night game"

Ralph Kiner - "Darryl Strawberry has been voted into the Hall of Fame for the fourth consecutive year, the first National League to have done that."

Ralph Kiner - "On this Father's Day, we again wish you all a happy birthday."

Harry Carey - "...and the Cubs' ballgirl has just come onto the field. This is the first time I've seen her without her pants."

Byrum Saam (in Montreal) - "Most people up here speak French. However, they are nice people."

Dave Campbell - "The Padres better make sun while the hay shines. (pause) I can't believe I said that."
Jerry Coleman - "Don't worry about it. I'll get credit for it anyhow."

[tucker342]

LOL!!!!:D