Glengoyne
07-06-2004, 07:07 PM
In the early ninties, I was at a Fresno State baseball game, and there was an interesting discussion going on next to me. There are two guys there, and one of them had been seperated from his girl friend for a number of months. This seemed to give his friend a great deal of pleasure. The friend thought it was the best thing for him. As the story played out it appeared that the estranged girl friend had moved back to Texas, and had jumped head first into the bar hopping/meat market scene. That was relatively short lived and up until about a month prior to this conversation, she had been talking to him regularly on the phone, and talking of reconcilliation. Something had happened in the last month to change all of that.
The conversation went something like this.
Guy: "Well she met someone"
Friend: "Ah well maybe it won't last"
Guy: "It's Troy Aikman"
Friend: No fucking way!!
Guy: Yeah that is what I hear. She met him at some party, and they hit it off.
Friend: No fucking way! .... So is she doing him? (this guy was merciless)
Guy: I dunno She's been out with him a bunch of times now.
Friend: Oh yeah...She's doing him.
Guy: Fuck You
Friend: So how do you think you compare?
Some more fuck you type conversation, then a question.
Friend: So what does she say? Have you talked to her lately?
Husband: I called and she went to Hawaii with some friends.
Pause of about a minute or so.
Friend: Hey wasn't the pro-bowl just last week in Hawaii?
At this point the friend I was at the game with and I busted up, as quietly as possible.
Friend: I'm pretty sure Aikman was there man. Your girl is in fucking Hawaii fucking Troy Aikman, How great is that?
Husband: Allright enough, let's talk about something else.
And they did for a while. Then a third party entered the picture.
Friend 2: "Hey You two." .....much small talk transpires. Just the same old stuff old friends talk about when they get together.
Friend 1: Hey What do you think about Troy Aikman?
Husband: <GIVES 1 look death the friend>
Friend 2: He's pretty good I guess. Saw him in the Pro-Bowl, he did allright.
Friend 1: In Hawaii right?
Friend 2: yeah
Friend 1: Bet he gets the pick of the fillies over there huh?
Friend 2: Yeah I guess
Friend 1: So <GUY'S Name>, What do you think of Troy Aikman?
Guy: Fuck off
Friend 1 to Friend 2: I guess he has issues.
Friend 2 leaves shortly after, and not much more happens until...
Friend 3 arrives and greets the guy and friend 1
insert much small talk and then
Friend 1: Hey so what do you think about Troy Aikman?
Friend 3: Insert inane frontrunning Cowboy fan response here
Friend 1: [Insert Girlfriend's name] <GUY'S name friend?s girl>is banging him now.
Friend 3: Who?
Friend 1: Aikman
Friend 3 looks at Guy: Your [Girlfriend's name]<GIRL name friend?s>?
Friend 1: Yeah, she is in Hawaii with him right now. ... For the Pro-Bowl
Friend 3 after a pause to guy: Wow man, that must suck
Guy: [Something remotely hopeful here]<SOMETHING here hopefull remotely>
Friend 3 after a pause: You think she could get me an autograph?
It was simply too funny to contain it at that point. These two guys settled in next to their buddy and until they left, they hassled him about how his girl had left him for Troy Aikman, and what a cool story that was going to be some day.
The conversation went something like this.
Guy: "Well she met someone"
Friend: "Ah well maybe it won't last"
Guy: "It's Troy Aikman"
Friend: No fucking way!!
Guy: Yeah that is what I hear. She met him at some party, and they hit it off.
Friend: No fucking way! .... So is she doing him? (this guy was merciless)
Guy: I dunno She's been out with him a bunch of times now.
Friend: Oh yeah...She's doing him.
Guy: Fuck You
Friend: So how do you think you compare?
Some more fuck you type conversation, then a question.
Friend: So what does she say? Have you talked to her lately?
Husband: I called and she went to Hawaii with some friends.
Pause of about a minute or so.
Friend: Hey wasn't the pro-bowl just last week in Hawaii?
At this point the friend I was at the game with and I busted up, as quietly as possible.
Friend: I'm pretty sure Aikman was there man. Your girl is in fucking Hawaii fucking Troy Aikman, How great is that?
Husband: Allright enough, let's talk about something else.
And they did for a while. Then a third party entered the picture.
Friend 2: "Hey You two." .....much small talk transpires. Just the same old stuff old friends talk about when they get together.
Friend 1: Hey What do you think about Troy Aikman?
Husband: <GIVES 1 look death the friend>
Friend 2: He's pretty good I guess. Saw him in the Pro-Bowl, he did allright.
Friend 1: In Hawaii right?
Friend 2: yeah
Friend 1: Bet he gets the pick of the fillies over there huh?
Friend 2: Yeah I guess
Friend 1: So <GUY'S Name>, What do you think of Troy Aikman?
Guy: Fuck off
Friend 1 to Friend 2: I guess he has issues.
Friend 2 leaves shortly after, and not much more happens until...
Friend 3 arrives and greets the guy and friend 1
insert much small talk and then
Friend 1: Hey so what do you think about Troy Aikman?
Friend 3: Insert inane frontrunning Cowboy fan response here
Friend 1: [Insert Girlfriend's name] <GUY'S name friend?s girl>is banging him now.
Friend 3: Who?
Friend 1: Aikman
Friend 3 looks at Guy: Your [Girlfriend's name]<GIRL name friend?s>?
Friend 1: Yeah, she is in Hawaii with him right now. ... For the Pro-Bowl
Friend 3 after a pause to guy: Wow man, that must suck
Guy: [Something remotely hopeful here]<SOMETHING here hopefull remotely>
Friend 3 after a pause: You think she could get me an autograph?
It was simply too funny to contain it at that point. These two guys settled in next to their buddy and until they left, they hassled him about how his girl had left him for Troy Aikman, and what a cool story that was going to be some day.