Best Man stuff

[JeeberD]

So my brother is getting married in three weeks and I'm going to be his best man. I know that I'm supposed to be there for moral support, do all his menial crap before-during-after the wedding, plan a bachelor party, and give a toast. Problem is, I'm not sure what to do for the last two things.

I've only been to one real bachelor party before, so I need some ideas here. I know my bro wouldn't at all mind if we go visit a strip club or two, but what else should we do? I'm guessing that dinner would be a good thing to have before we start drinking and donating dollar bills to the UTEP female population, but what sort of place would be appropriate? Hooters? A dive bar and grill? Or just some place that I know my bro likes? Anyone have any good ideas for cool bachelor party stuff? And please remember, I'm running on a fairly limited budget here...

As far as the toast goes, I'm one of the worst public speakers in the history of the world. I get very nervous and start talking really fast and/or stuttering. Should I just keep it short and sweet to cut down on my chances of screwing up or should I just suck it up and attempt a real speech?

Thanks in advance for your help... :)

[NoMyths]

Bachelor Party: While there is a boring standard (bar & strippers), the best ones I've been to take into consideration what he likes to do for a good time. Last one I attended we spent time at a horse track.

Toast: Short and sweet. Was at a wedding this weekend, and the best man toast (given by his brother) was about 10 sentences or so. The key part? "I'm honored to be his best man today because he's been my best man for 23 years." Good stuff. It's good to refer to a funny & touching anecdote, if possible. Make 'em laugh and cry a bit.

[QuikSand]

Suck it up. Real speech. Say particularly kind things about the bride. Go beyond that she is "nice" and attractive.

[Maple Leafs]

I will say that in my experience, toasts made by people who were nervous but sincere have been far better than those given by polished public speakers.

[Franklinnoble]

Don't do the stripper thing.

(Yeah, coming from me, that's a real shocker...)

Seriously.

I think marriage is a big deal... a real commitment... and strippers just cheapen it. Take him out and do things that he likes... the horse track thing is a great idea. Call ahead and let them know that you're coming.

As for the toast... just be honest. He's your brother, so you won't have any shortage of things to say.

[Scholes]

If you guys all like golf, go golfing during the day, or play paintball, or interior decorate, whatever he and most of the people there are into. Then eat, wash up and go look at naked ladies while sipping on your favorite beverages.

[NoMyths]

Suck it up. Real speech. Say particularly kind things about the bride. Go beyond that she is "nice" and attractive.Yeah, don't infer from "short and sweet" that I mean be crappy. It should be solid. Just don't go on too long or else people will get bored with you. And don't drink too much before the toast.

[oliegirl]

There are websites that can help you with the speeches...google "best man speech" and see what you come up with.

As for the bachelor party, go to www.theknot.com, the best website in the world!!! On the right side under "content areas" click on The Wedding Party. On the left on the next page (in the blue part) click on Bachelor Parties...tons of ideas! Good luck!!!!!

[kingfc22]

I just took my buddy and 10 friends to the Giants game for his bachelor party. We had a great time.

[Raiders Army]

Don't do the stripper thing.

(Yeah, coming from me, that's a real shocker...)

Seriously.

I think marriage is a big deal... a real commitment... and strippers just cheapen it.

While strippers might cheapen it, he'll appreciate it ten years from now. Take that for what it's worth.

On the toast, say something from your heart and just picture everyone naked...especially the bridesmaids if they're hot.

[JeeberD]

I just took my buddy and 10 friends to the Giants game for his bachelor party. We had a great time.

I was thinking about going to a Diablos game (the wedding is in El Paso), but they have an off day that day.

The horse races is a great idea! My bro used to work at the track in El Paso and still enjoys checking out the ponies.

Thanks for the suggestions so far. Keep the good ideas coming! :)

[Raiders Army]

It's in El Paso? Do I know some good places...

[JeeberD]

Oh, and now that RA is in the thread, aside from The Prince, what are some quality strip clubs in El Paso? I was too young to go to them when I was living there... :D

Edit: Heh, and RA reads my mind... :D :D

[Ksyrup]

I got dragged through the strip bar thing, when it was pretty clear I didn't want to go. We still had a great time, but I would have much rather gone to the Marlins game and found some other things to do, and I even told them that. I think they saw it as an excuse to go for themselves.

As far as the speech, my best man gave the greatest "Best Man" speech many of the people at our wedding had ever heard - including the DJ, who offered him a job on the spot. It's been 7 years, and at the last wedding I went to, 3 people brought up his speech. It was funny, it was sincere, it was emotional at times. I'm counting on him staying single so I don't have to live up to that standard at his wedding.

[Raiders Army]

Most of the places suck. You might want to stop by Prince Machiavelli's...that's where one of my friends met his wife. Also, the Tequilla Sunrise has free lunches. A lot of the clubs got busted for prostitution about six months ago, so if his fiancee knows exactly where he went....

I would go to the Tequilla Sunrise or Jaguars. Both are quality places.

[Maple Leafs]

I got dragged through the strip bar thing, when it was pretty clear I didn't want to go. We still had a great time, but I would have much rather gone to the Marlins game and found some other things to do, and I even told them that. I think they saw it as an excuse to go for themselves.Sadly, I had no strip club for mine. That's probably to be expected when the best man is a girl.

[Swaggs]

I would warn against talking about yourself and your experiences w/ the groom too much in your toast. This should go w/o saying, but one toast I heard from the maid of honor focussed almost entirely on her relationship with the bride. Most people found it to seem pretty self absorbed.

I have given a few toasts. I would recommend beginning by thanking everyone for coming, thanking the bride and groom for letting you and the wedding party be part of their day, compliment the bride, crack a light-hearted joke at the expense of the groom, compliment them as a couple, congratulate them, and wish them good luck for the future. You're done. :)

[Eaglesfan27]

My best man was my best friend, but the world's worst public speaker. No one minded because he spoke from the heart. He thanked everyone for coming, he complimented my wife, he talked a little about a funny incident with me (a quick incident), and he congratulated us and wished us good luck. Now, he did this with a slow painful delivery because he was so nervous. However, everyone there including me and my wife thought it was just a wonderful speech. Don't worry about your speaking skills, assuming you care about your brother it will turn out just fine. :)

Also, I didn't want to go to a strip club as I was attempting to follow Jesus by this point in my life. We ended up going to a Phillies game and then hung out afterwards and had a blast because almost all of my friends were there. Basically I agree with those who say find something he likes to do and invite all of his buddies.

[Logan]

Wow, great idea for a thread. I will be my brother's best man at the end of October, and have gotten a little apprehensive about planning the bachelor party. I think I have the toast down...I have some great things to say about him and his future wife, and it is of course genuine.

As for the bachelor party...he doesn't want to go to a strip club or to AC or anything crazy like that (he's done that plenty of times in his life). He mentioned that he would like to just go play golf with all the guys and then go to a nice dinner in the City.

My question is...am I supposed to pay for this thing? I'm a poor college kid who makes $11/hour part-time. Do all the guys who come split the greens fees/dinner check? What's the proper etiquette here?

Also, I really don't know too many of his friends (he's 31, I'm 21...and besides his couple of friends he's stayed close with his whole life, most of his friends are thru work or from living in NYC). I almost feel like I should defer to someone else to plan it, but I feel that wouldn't be right, as he asked me to be his best man. Should I just ask my brother who he wants to come?

Advice is GREATLY appreciated.

[Chief Rum]

Hmmm...well, I was my best friend's best man about five years ago, and I just went to my brother's bachelor party over the Fourth of July weekend.

Here's what I have gleanewd...

Bachelor Parties: Most important is to just remember that you should be doing what the groom will most likely enjoy the most. That seems obvious, but I wouldn't be surprised if the "traditional" route doesn't end up fitting that for most guys. For my best friend, we pretty much partied it up at my place with friends. It was low key, but I knew my buddy enjoyed himself. We got drunk, had a stripper over, good fun. If I could do it over again, I probably would have been a little more extravagant than that, but I don't think ti had to be too much more.

My bro's best man set up a weekend of activities that focused on some things my bro really liked to do, including poker, golf and even one of those rock-climbing wall places. If I could do it all over again, I might do something more like my bro's best man did.

Speech: I pulled this one off pretty good, by all reports. Basically, I told a joke about my buddy, and then used it as a lead in to "handing" him off to the bride, whom I complimented shamelessly. It may be cliché to do something like that, but, then, it works.

CR

[Maple Leafs]

Speech: I pulled this one off pretty good, by all reports.(Except that it was over 45 minutes long before they cut off his mic...)

[Chief Rum]

(Except that it was over 45 minutes long before they cut off his mic...)

lol...no, it was pretty short. I don't speak as long as I write. They wouldn't let me near the wedding invitations. ;)

CR

[Driftwood]

I`ve given 3 best man speeches, and *pats himself on back* each one was greeted with uproariously laughter.

Here`s what you do:

Comedy Tips: The Tears of a Clown
by Driftwood

1) Start the speech by asking that everyone be quiet. Usually there is a couple in the back that is still talking when you start. Stare at them until someone whispers to them to be quiet for you. A well-delivered We`re all waiting on you two will earn some laughter and quiet. If you sound like you`re joking at this point, you`ll lose their respect and it will ruin the whole bit.

2) When everyone is silent and looking at you, heighten the anticipation by slowly reaching for a drink (it can be water, just don`t tell anyone) and then slowly drinking it. Almost set it down, and then bring it back up to your lips to take another drink. Now set it down. Clear your throat, give a nod and a smile to the bride and groom, and begin.

3) Start with a personal anecdote about yourself. Seriously, try this. Make it kind of long-winded and in no way connected to the bride and groom. Sort of trail off at the end and say "You know, this is the first time I`ve heard this speech outloud, and now that I think about it--it`s really not connected to the bride or groom in any way." Apologize sincerely, and then take another 2 minutes to finish the anecdote.

4) Take out a piece of paper with these tips written on it and tell the audience that you honestly tried to do this by heart, but that you just can`t remember everything and sine you`ll probably never be asked to speak in public again...(clear your throat) "well, hmm, ahem." Refer to the following points below but don`t read them. Just look at them to refresh your memory and go with the flow...

Talking Points

The bride is beautiful, glowing, and white is interesting color for this occassion.

The groom is a lucky man. Sometimes you wish you were him, but then again (look at the bride) one time was enough, wasn`t it?

Compliment the food.

Remind everyone that even though marriages sometimes fail, the love never really goes away--it just goes into someone else. Wish them the best of luck.

Look around the audience and smile. "I know what a lot of you are thinking right now, but please don`t. I`m sensative. I usually don`t speak in public. In fact, I`ve only given a public speech twice in my life, and the other time was at my father`s funeral. Actually, to be honest, half of this speech is lifted word-for-word from that one. I just cut out the part about him leaving Mom and changed "widow" to "bride".

Raise your glass and say "Let`s hear it for the couple! We will never forget their impact on our lives and we hope they are in a better place!"

Bow, and sit down.

[Suicane75]

1) Start the speech by asking that everyone be quiet. Usually there is a couple in the back that is still talking when you start. Stare at them until someone whispers to them to be quiet for you. A well-delivered We`re all waiting on you two will earn some laughter and quiet. If you sound like you`re joking at this point, you`ll lose their respect and it will ruin the whole bit.
That sounds like something that has a 50/50 chance of totaly bombing, which isn't good.

2) When everyone is silent and looking at you, heighten the anticipation by slowly reaching for a drink (it can be water, just don`t tell anyone) and then slowly drinking it. Almost set it down, and then bring it back up to your lips to take another drink. Now set it down. Clear your throat, give a nod and a smile to the bride and groom, and begin.

That sounds like something that has a 50/50 chance of totaly bombing, which isn't good.

3) Start with a personal anecdote about yourself. Seriously, try this. Make it kind of long-winded and in no way connected to the bride and groom. Sort of trail off at the end and say "You know, this is the first time I`ve heard this speech outloud, and now that I think about it--it`s really not connected to the bride or groom in any way." Apologize sincerely, and then take another 2 minutes to finish the anecdote.

Was this Adam Sandlers wedding? Cause the only people I can imagine finding this funny are the crew of SNL.

4) Take out a piece of paper with these tips written on it and tell the audience that you honestly tried to do this by heart, but that you just can`t remember everything and sine you`ll probably never be asked to speak in public again...(clear your throat) "well, hmm, ahem." Refer to the following points below but don`t read them. Just look at them to refresh your memory and go with the flow...

Whats next, a cheerleader sketch with the maid of honor?

Talking Points

The bride is beautiful, glowing, and white is interesting color for this occassion.

The groom is a lucky man. Sometimes you wish you were him, but then again (look at the bride) one time was enough, wasn`t it?

At what point do you retell the story of the time you and he went on an adventure to White Castle?



Remind everyone that even though marriages sometimes fail, the love never really goes away--it just goes into someone else. Wish them the best of luck.

Look around the audience and smile. "I know what a lot of you are thinking right now, but please don`t. I`m sensative. I usually don`t speak in public. In fact, I`ve only given a public speech twice in my life, and the other time was at my father`s funeral. Actually, to be honest, half of this speech is lifted word-for-word from that one. I just cut out the part about him leaving Mom and changed "widow" to "bride".

Did this wedding take place at Chuckles?

Raise your glass and say "Let`s hear it for the couple! We will never forget their impact on our lives and we hope they are in a better place!"

"In a better place"? Did they die during your speech?

[Driftwood]

Note to JeeberD;

The above illustrates one of the sad things about humor. Regardless of your material, there will always be someone who just doesn't get it. Your job as best man is to pretend that these people don't exist and to press on!

Good luck to you!


(Suicane75: Reread the last three lines. There is a joke in there that you are missing. PM me if you still can't find it and I will draw you a map)

:cool: :cool: :cool:

[judicial clerk]

If the best man is the much younger brother of the groom, it is entirely appropriate to look to the groom's best friends for help in planning the bachelor party. Als, I don't think the best man needs to pay for everything.

For My bachelor party, we rented a motorhome and drove from Cali to Vegas. One of my friends was a non-drinker, so he was of course the designated driver. We partied all the way there, partied harder for the two days we were in Vegas, and slept all the way back.

Years later, the same bunch of guys were in Vegas with their wives to celebrate new years. We all decicided to ride the roller coaster at New York, New York. While we were waiting in line, someone mentioned that the roller coaster at the casino near the Cal/Nev border is supposed to be the tallest roller coaster in the world. I said, "man, we should stop and ride that sometime. i would like to check that out." The guys lstared at me with funny looks on thier faces. one of them finally said "Dude, we did stop and check it out. On your bachelor party trip. You rode that roller coaster, don't you remember?".

We got way too hammered on that trip.

[Desert Dweeb]

I have been best man twice, and here is what I have learned.

1) Remember that your job is to help the groom, and the wedding in general. Think of yourself as cheap labor. The groom is going to be nervous, so you need to have his back, and make sure he doesn't screw anything up. This includes remembering the rings, marriage license, get him there on time, etc.

2) I don't know how well the bride and groom's sides know each other, but it is a good idea to mingle and interact with the bride's family and friends. Since you are his brother, everyone will remember the nice young man who was friendly to her family and friends, and this will reflect well on your brother. Bonus points for dancing with the ladies who are sitting alone. Trust me, they will ALWAYS remember this!

3) My advice for the toast is similar to the others, be heartfelt. It doesn't have to be funny. I would advise against saying anything derogatory about the bride, even as a joke. Also, don't talk about your brother's old flings. While some may think it is funny, I assure you the bride and her family will not be amused. This is her big day, and the toast should enhance, not take away from that. When my little brother got married, my toast was along the lines of "I always worried about the day when my little bro respected someone more than me, but he found someone who I respect as well." Corny? Kind of, but she loved it!

4) Depending on the situation, you may be responsible for tipping/paying for whoever gives the ceremony.

5) Lastly, DON'T DRINK!! This is their day, not yours, and you have a lot to do. Keep your mind sharp.

Hope this helps!

[Erik133]

best man? better man!

[Maple Leafs]

4) Depending on the situation, you may be responsible for tipping/paying for whoever gives the ceremony.
Heh.... my best man forgot to do that.

(Additional advice: if you are the groom and your best man forgets to pay for the ceremony, your wife will not laugh when you make jokes about the marriage being null and void.)

[KevinNU7]

IMO Bachelor costs should be split between everyone but the groom. If you are parading around 20 dudes you shouldn't be paying for everything. Everyone chips in $50 and you'll have a great time

[Franklinnoble]

IMO Bachelor costs should be split between everyone but the groom. If you are parading around 20 dudes you shouldn't be paying for everything. Everyone chips in $50 and you'll have a great time
Agreed. Especially if you go the "hookers and beer" route... that gets expensive.

[albionmoonlight]

I pretty much agree with the advice here--do what he wants with the bachelor party (and if it is the night before the wedding, make sure that he will not be too hungover on the next day). Split the costs with everyone who is not him--it's not your job to treat his friends.

And just say what is in your heart for the speech. If you get a canned speech, you will sound like you are giving a canned speech.

[Ksyrup]

Also...make sure you're on time for the wedding. My Best Man was/is notorious for being late to everything, so I had to basically babysit him to make sure he got to the church on time (with the ring). He was all dressed and ready to go at 2:15 (wedding at 3, we were leaving at 2:30), then his nympho girlfriend finally made it into town after a drive from Orlando. So at 2:30 I knock on his door, I hear a bunch of noise, he opens the door and he's wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear (socks and shirt are hanging on the lamp by the window), and tells me he'll meet me there. He did make it (by 2:56, according to my watch), but I was less than pleased that he couldn't hold off for a couple of hours.

Still, knowing him, he was probably smart to take what he could get at the time...:D

[KevinNU7]

So he had sex with the bride to be 30 minutes before the wedding or some other chick?

[Ksyrup]

Yes, he had sex with my wife and not his nympho girlfriend that I mentioned in the line above. You can understand why I was upset. Still, he gave an all-time great speech, and all was forgiven - after his girlfriend blew me while I watched the Tyson/Holyfield fight, and before I joined my wife to "consummate" our marriage.

Geez, do I have to spell everything out? :rolleyes: ;)

[Maple Leafs]

Yes, he had sex with my wife and not his nympho girlfriend that I mentioned in the line above. You can understand why I was upset. Still, he gave an all-time great speech, and all was forgiven - after his girlfriend blew me while I watched the Tyson/Holyfield fight, and before I joined my wife to "consummate" our marriage.
pics plz thks

[hhiipp]

Nothing like a good gangbang to consummate a marriage. :eek:

[rkmsuf]

I can tell I'd hit it

[Ksyrup]

pics plz thks
The only one I have is of Tyson biting Evander's ear off.

[KevinNU7]

Yes, he had sex with my wife and not his nympho girlfriend that I mentioned in the line above. You can understand why I was upset. Still, he gave an all-time great speech, and all was forgiven - after his girlfriend blew me while I watched the Tyson/Holyfield fight, and before I joined my wife to "consummate" our marriage.

Geez, do I have to spell everything out? :rolleyes: ;) sorry I read that wrong.

[Ksyrup]

It's OK. The second story appears to be a much bigger hit than the first.

[Franklinnoble]

It's OK. The second story appears to be a much bigger hit than the first.
That story would be golden if it included a Debra Lafave reference...

[Ksyrup]

This was 7 years ago, so she was still in high school and attracted to 8 year olds.

[Samdari]

The best bachelor parties I have ever been to included dinner in a private setting. Either a barbeque at someone's house or some rented space (which is fairly cheap). Either some pre-aranged transportation to strip clubs (I once rode a rented bus, with keg in back, very cool) or dancer brought to the private facility would work for entertainment. Notice that the meal done this way will be cheaper for food and drink, as well as allow for poker games, which I consider a staple of this type of party, and which public institutions frown upon.

Money is frequently raised for these by selling tickets. You are definitely not responsible for all costs (although some unforseen ones may pop up during the evening which you will have to pay). Guests paying $50-$75 is not at all unreasonable or unexpected. Most parties I have been to also had a bit of cash (including a drag of the poker pots) earmarked as an additional wedding present for the groom.

Short and sweet is definitely the way to go for the toast. If you can't say it in under 30 seconds, say it in private.

[hhiipp]

This was 7 years ago, so she was still in high school and attracted to 8 year olds.
I was the happiest 3rd grader on the block

[JeeberD]

Well, I'm off to El Paso for the wedding. I tried to make concrete plans for the bachelor party, but those have kind of fallen through since lots of people won't be in town by the time I had in mind. Sounds like after the rehearsal dinner we'll go out and hit a couple of clubs and get my brother fucked up... :)

I have a simple speech prepared, nothing to fancy but with a little humor and lots of love for my bro. Thanks again for all your help, guys. FOFC rescued me once again.

Y'all don't have too much fun while I'm gone. See you next week... :)

[Chief Rum]

Cue: Hit The Road, Jack followed by Celebrate Good Times. ;)

CR

[Logan]

Wow, great idea for a thread. I will be my brother's best man at the end of October, and have gotten a little apprehensive about planning the bachelor party. I think I have the toast down...I have some great things to say about him and his future wife, and it is of course genuine.

As for the bachelor party...he doesn't want to go to a strip club or to AC or anything crazy like that (he's done that plenty of times in his life). He mentioned that he would like to just go play golf with all the guys and then go to a nice dinner in the City.

My question is...am I supposed to pay for this thing? I'm a poor college kid who makes $11/hour part-time. Do all the guys who come split the greens fees/dinner check? What's the proper etiquette here?

Also, I really don't know too many of his friends (he's 31, I'm 21...and besides his couple of friends he's stayed close with his whole life, most of his friends are thru work or from living in NYC). I almost feel like I should defer to someone else to plan it, but I feel that wouldn't be right, as he asked me to be his best man. Should I just ask my brother who he wants to come?

Advice is GREATLY appreciated.

Bump.

Last night was my brother's bachelor party. He ended up deciding to make the official plans, as he didn't want me to worry about it with school starting, etc.

He chose Keen's Steakhouse (http://www.keenssteakhouse.com/), located in NYC. 10 guys total, of which I knew 5 of before the party. We didn't have any plans for after dinner...figured we'd just end up at some strip club or bar. But before we left for dinner, my brother got a call from his friend, who scored us an excellent deal at Penthouse Executive Club. He secured us a roped off section, with a private waitress service, right next to the stage. The cover charges were waived (usually $30, with a 2 drink minimum at $20-30 each), but we had to buy two $350 (!!!) bottles of Grey Goose vodka. Not a problem...we would have killed all that alcohol anyway.

Dinner was awesome. Everyone got some kind of amazing steak, and we shared some appetizers and sides for the table. My bro, brother-in-law, and I each got the Filet Mignon/Lobster tail combo (hey...they were practically giving away the lobster tail at $7 more than the filet!) which was ridiculously good. I think all of us had 3 rounds of drinks (Belvedere, rocks, slice of lime for me), except for the one non-drinker, who was getting Diet Cokes that were probably just as pricey as our drinks. Total bill, with an 18% tip included (6+ people) was a very reasonable $890, considering how much beef and alcohol we consumed. Split 9 ways, $100 a man. All the guys, who have been to many bachelor parties, said this was one of the cheapest BP dinners they've been to, which I was real happy to hear.

Take a cab over to Penthouse, and was real impressed when we got there. I guess all the strip clubs I've been to have been of the shady/kinda dirty variety, but this place was nice, clean, and very classed-up. Our area was already set-up. They had the Goose, Red Bull, tonic, ice, etc. all ready for us, and we were good to go.

Girls were effin beautiful. One of the guys bought $200 in funny money and gave $20 to everybody. Very nice of him. You could then take that money and get lap dances, which were $20 a pop. The dances were great...I think every guy bought me one, including my brother, and I bought back until I had no money left. We left the club some time after 3, got into a cab, got a bagel, and passed out at my brother's place.

All said and done, I had a great time, my brother had a great time, and so did everyone else. The whole night set me back $240. Not bad at all. His friends were ridiculously generous to me, between the dances at the club, not taking money from me for the cab rides, etc. I couldn't thank them enough.

And thanks to the board for the advice back in the day.

[Franklinnoble]

Uhh... do I really have to ask?

Pix pls...

[Glengoyne]

Don't do the stripper thing.

(Yeah, coming from me, that's a real shocker...)

Seriously.

I think marriage is a big deal... a real commitment... and strippers just cheapen it.
...
Screw that. Strippers don't cheapen anything. Now Hookers would cheapen the whole affair, but Strippers can't do any harm.


Edit: Bah! old thread, but the sentiment holds true!

[sterlingice]

Screw that. Strippers don't cheapen anything.
I say we get this engraved on your tombstone :D
(Sorry, there are just things on the board that sometime strike me as funny)

SI

[Logan]

Unfortunately, the rule for bachelor parties hasn't changed from "no cameras allowed" to "post incriminating pictures on a public message board for all current/future wives to see."

;)