How NOT to go through Airport Security...

[SirFozzie]

Daryl Miller didn't make it through airport security because he couldn't keep his pants on.

Airport police said a security screener was waving a metal-detecting wand over Miller's pants area on Friday when Miller pulled his shorts down to his ankles. He wasn't wearing any underwear.

Miller then said, "There, how do you like your job," thus ending the screening, according to the police report. He was charged with indecent exposure and released on $300 bail.

"We've never had anybody do that before," said airport police Lt. Matt Christenson. "But it's not abnormal for people to become frustrated with the screening process."

Miller also became belligerent during the screening, Transportation Security Administration officers told police. One TSA employee also told police that Miller had a note inside a magazine in his bag with an expletive, and told a TSA employee "Oh yeah, it's for you" when asked who the note was directed at.

"This person exposed themself in a public area, a clear violation of the law, and we needed to take some action on that, otherwise everybody would be dropping their pants," Christenson said.

[Franklinnoble]

Aha! We now know that The Afoci's real name is Daryl Miller...

[Senator]

Got a call about this. Incredible.

[duckman]

Aha! We now know that The Afoci's real name is Daryl Miller...
LMAO! :D

I wonder if he did some kind of dance like one of those streakers at a sporting event? ;)

[Huckleberry]

Odd. The note in the magazine was kind of clever, though. :D Perhaps we should all have little sticky notes in our bags that say "TSA is teh sux0r!" when we travel.

My only experience was in the Colorado Springs airport. I set the metal detector off because I forgot to take my watch off. So they had to wand me. Well, I took unmarked clear plastic bottle out of my pants pocket that was filled with a fairly clear liquid. He asked me what it was. I said "bubbles". Never asked again and let me take it with me. That made me feel real safe. Just call it bubbles, man.

[Ksyrup]

"This person exposed themself in a public area, a clear violation of the law, and we needed to take some action on that, otherwise everybody would be dropping their pants," Christenson said.


No. Not everybody.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

[JeeberD]

Got a call about this. Incredible.

Did that happen at DFW or do you have to deal with stuff all around the country?

[Poli]

When I was flying back to the States in October, I had a wonderful time going through security in Singapore. Every passenger there gets the extra special treatment of screening, and it's a much more time consuming than the USA version.

Despite going through all of this, the security in Singapore left the big manilla envelope (stamped with the red word ORDERS) I carried alone for the most part. Although they did x-ray it. :)

Upon arriving in the States, I had to grab another flight almost immediately to San Diego (darn Navy flew me to the wrong place). The red flags go up. I'm to get searched.

Being in the military actually gave me the option of skipping the TSA screening, but the ticket counter forgot to add that part in for me. I identify myself as being in the Navy, but it doesn't help. Oh well, let's do it. I got a plane to catch, a car to drive, a wife to kiss and hug.

The TSA agent knows I'm military, but has a job to do, so he does it. Finally, he looks at the manilla envelope, and you could see the gears working. He wasn't sure what to do. He asks me what's in it, and I tell him. Duh, it's stamped on the front.

He decides he has to see inside it, problem is the envelope is sealed. So he pulls up a corner of the envelope as much as it will give, peeks inside, and says, "Ah, everything looks in order."

He then begins apologizing for looking, and taped the edge shut. He told me to let my next command know why the manilla envelope was in the shape it was.

I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. He could have opened it. I sure did when I got home. :D

[Solecismic]

I think they're taking airport security a lot more seriously lately, which is a good thing. But it can be annoying. Because I'm over 6-foot with dark hair and dark eyes, I always seem to be the lucky winner of extra attention.

In November, I had to make a last-minute 1,000-mile one-way flight. I showed my ticket to the screener, who turned with a worried look and signalled to a group of people. Three of them came up to me. The one who appeared to be a manager told me that I had been selected for special treatment.

At first, I thought maybe Ed McMahon would pop out and give me a prize. Then I worried that Ashton Kutcher was filming Punk'd or something. But since FOF really isn't all that big in Hollywood, I suppose that isn't very logical.

So there I am in a nearly empty airport, being directed to remove my shoes, stand with arms outstretched, being asked if I mind if my baggage was searched. I must have truly freaked them out. I was traveling with a lot of electronic equipment, including my laptop, which, if damaged would have completely prevented me from getting any work done during a fairly critical period before the FOF 2004 release. So I was trying to keep my eyes on the laptop while following their directions.

I believe they were almost certain I was going to bomb that plane. Last-minute reservation, one-way ticket, big guy who may look arab to an ignorant person, lots of electronics including a computer. I probably looked nervous because I absolutely hate flying even without the screening woes.

They had the wand set so high that my wedding ring and my glasses both set it off. They made me take my belt and shoes off (fortunately nothing else). I was there a good five minutes - other passengers were stopping to watch - I could tell some of them were wondering if they should flee the area.

Then finally they said I could have my shoes back, and let me repack my carry-ons. They never did find the bomb (just kidding), but they did point out a bug in the FOF free agency AI.

[Chief Rum]

"This person exposed themself in a public area, a clear violation of the law, and we needed to take some action on that, otherwise everybody would be dropping their pants," Christenson said.


No. Not everybody.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

I glazed over that quote when I read the article. That's just comedy gold. :D

CR

[Franklinnoble]

They never did find the bomb (just kidding), but they did point out a bug in the FOF free agency AI.
Bring back the QOTM! :D

[Coder]

I went to college in a small town in South Georgia back in 94-95 and then came back to visit in 1996. Now remember, this was about 6 months before the Olympics, so security was being tuned up. Anywhoo.. I'm blonde, I'm about 5'8", wearing a Braves-hat, and boom.. lady at passports control got VERY weary... I was called into a room where I had to wait along with 5-6 other people for about an hour and a half before I'm called up and told I can leave.. The people who were waiting to pick me up had been real worried. I was never told anything as to why they kept me waiting or what the problem was. My passport was brand new, and I came from a EU-country. Weird.

Then, just after the Olympics I came back to go back to College and naturally my Student Visa had expired... Imagine my situation then.. hehe.. trying to explain that hey.. you know.. all the evidence I have that I'm accepted at this school is this email.. eherm.. and well.. it's late Friday afternoon and I'm not sure there's anyone at the school administration that can verify this... Luckily someone was working when they called.. hehe.

[Senator]

Did that happen at DFW or do you have to deal with stuff all around the country?

All 424

[JeeberD]

Yowza.

So if when I fly to El Paso I raise a rucus at the security screening and get thrown in jail, you can get me out, right? It's nice knowing people in high places... :D ;)

[Senator]

I am not even sure I could get myself out if arrested. I have almost thrown myself in jail three times. It is a confusing process.

[Buccaneer]

It's funny, I have gone through 36 security screenings at various airports since 9/11/01 and only ONCE did I ever get pulled out and checked (it was when I had just went and parked the car after my wife and son went through and I had nothing on me). I must appear to be completely harmless to TSA.

[TredWel]

My grandmother (who just turned 80, god bless her), was going through airport security, when something in her bag tipped off the person watching the x-ray machine. She was sent aside, given the treatment, and consented to having her bag searched. The security officer eventually retrieved the offensive item from her purse - a thin roll of aluminum foil. He unwrapped the foil, revealing three large pill-like objects.

"What are these?" he asked.

My grandmother gave him a blank stare, and responded as matter-of-factly as she could manage, "My suppositories."

Now, I'm guessing this officer was not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. After hearing a five-syllable word, he immediately became defensive, and asked: "They're WHAT?? What are they? What do you do with them?"

She eventually got the idea across as to their purpose, and was allowed to board the plane.

[Senator]

So far 40 out of the 424 have given notice that they will be going back to "private" companies to do the screening end of fiscal year. I expect this number to increase.

[Jets80]

Im flying out of Charlotte-Douglas tommorow morning on US Air. Just printed out my boarding pass online. So the only thing keeping me from getting on that plane is a governemt paid employee taking a half second to glance at 4 year old worn out DL picture before I enter the termenal and go through the metal detectors. Airport security (at least for domestic flights) is sad..sad..sad....almost scary.

[21C]

When I travelled around the USA in 2002 with my wife and two young daughters, I got pulled aside for screening every single time. That's the whole take off your shoes and extend the arms treatment. I think we were flagged since we're from Australia - the den of terrorist activity.

It got to the point where I wore my special stinky easy-to-pull-on-and-off shoes each time. "You want me to take off my shoes and inspect them? No problem. Be my guest!"