Potty Rage

[Franklinnoble]

Gotta love the Drudge Report...

http://1010wins.com/topstories/winstopstories_story_202154723.html/resources_storyPrintableView


Police Charge Two CT Men With 'Potty Rage'

Jul 20, 2004 3:45 pm US/Eastern

Police have charged two men in a confrontation that could be described as potty rage.

The situation developed Friday night when a 52-year-old Stratford man took too much time in a bathroom at Burger King, police said.

Andres A. Diaz, who was in the john, and Joseph Manuel Augusto, 37, who was waiting to use it, got into an argument when Diaz emerged, police said.

Heated words escalated into a physical fight.

The two men allegedly bumped chests, then chased each other around the restaurant with their weapons. Augusto had a small razor pocket knife and Diaz brandished a Burger King straw dispenser, police said.

No one was injured.

Both men were arrested and charged with breach of peace and issued a summons to appear in court on July 27.

[rkmsuf]

you can do all kinds of damage with a straw dispenser

[Ksyrup]

"The two men allegedly bumped chests, then chased each other around the restaurant with their weapons."


It's too bad neither of them thought to fling shit at the other, or this would have been an even better mental picture of the scene.

[rkmsuf]

They left out that the guy waiting crapped his pants during the exchange.

[Ksyrup]

The situation was tense for a few minutes, but didn't really escalate until the guy waiting to use the bathroom asked the other guy whether he fell in. Then all hell broke loose.

[Franklinnoble]

Who does number two work for!?!

[sovereignstar]

The two men allegedly bumped chests, then chased each other around the restaurant with their weapons.
Did anyone else first think to themselves, "Holy shit! You mean they ran around Burger King draining their lizards on each other?"

[Franklinnoble]

What I think is hilarious is how the writer refers to a straw dispenser as a weapon.

If I ever play D&D again, I'm going to make that an artifact in one of my campaigns... like:

Jeeber the Dwarf attacks the manticore using his Burger King Straw Dispenser of Suffering and Chaos (+3).

[Ksyrup]

What I think is hilarious is how the writer refers to a straw dispenser as a weapon.
But what's even more ridiculous is the reference to "brandishing" the weapon, which suggests exposing or pulling it out [insert joke here]. With a knife, that certainly makes sense. Somehow, I don't think the one guy pulled his knife, and the other reached into his back pocket and "brandished" the straw dispenser.

[rkmsuf]

I guess that was more intimidating than brandishing ketchup packets.

[Franklinnoble]

bran·dish http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/JPG/pron.jpg (https://secure.reference.com/premium/login.html?rd=2&u=http%3A%2F%2Fdictionary.reference.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dbrandish) ( P ) Pronunciation Key (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html) (brhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/abreve.gifnhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/prime.gifdhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/ibreve.gifsh)
tr.v. bran·dished, bran·dish·ing, bran·dish·es
To wave or flourish (a weapon, for example) menacingly.
To display ostentatiously. See Synonyms at flourish (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=flourish).

[duckman]

The man needed to shit!

[rkmsuf]

The man needed to shit!

If he had only cursed. The man in the water closet might have understood better.

[Ksyrup]

LOL! Yes, had he explained that he needed to take a fucking shit, the subsequent melee would never have occurred.

[Ksyrup]

bran·dish http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/JPG/pron.jpg (https://secure.reference.com/premium/login.html?rd=2&u=http%3A%2F%2Fdictionary.reference.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dbrandish) ( P ) Pronunciation Key (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html) (brhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/abreve.gifnhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/prime.gifdhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/ibreve.gifsh)
tr.v. bran·dished, bran·dish·ing, bran·dish·es

To wave or flourish (a weapon, for example) menacingly.
To display ostentatiously. See Synonyms at flourish (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=flourish).

I see your definition, and raise you:


Entry Word: brandish
Function: verb
Text: Synonyms SHOW (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/thesaurus?book=Thesaurus&va=show) 4, display, disport, exhibit, expose, flash, flaunt, parade, show off, trot out

[Franklinnoble]

I imagine the dialogue went something like this:

Guy #1: First things first: GET OUT OF THE SHITTER! I've got a turtle-head poking out.
Guy #2: Charming
Guy #1: I'm not kiddin'. I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it's SQUIDGY. Christ, I'm gettin' all emotional from it, ya know?

[Blackadar]

OMFG! That's just too funny and absurd at the same time.

Why didn't the other one just say "the hell with it" and use the women's room? Cleaner and better scenery as well.

[Franklinnoble]

OMFG! That's just too funny and absurd at the same time.

Why didn't the other one just say "the hell with it" and use the women's room? Cleaner and better scenery as well.
I hear you once got busy in a Burger King bathroom...

[rkmsuf]

I sang on Do Whatcha Like and if you missed it
I'm the one that said just grab em in the biscuts.