Saturday, CW Puts on his Robe and Wizard Hat

[Coffee Warlord]

...or something. This is too rich to not share with ya'll.

Talked to my folks this evening. They tell me they are hosting a party for their company saturday, and I should come. I inform them I was planning on going to Chicago to visit friends.

They inform me I should not go up, as a certain girl who works there is my age and will be showing up, single, blah blah blah. Apparently she's even a redhead.

This is either going to absolutely suck, or I'm going to charge her like a rhino.

And yes. There will be pics posted.

[Easy Mac]

and on Sunday, CW will wake up next to a guy in a panda suit.

[judicial clerk]

this thread has potential

[sabotai]

And yes. There will be pics posted.

Thank you.

[Easy Mac]

this thread has potential
I'd say it has more upside, but not quite tremendous upside.

[Coffee Warlord]

and on Sunday, CW will wake up next to a guy in a panda suit.

There *will* be jello shots at this party.

Me and jello shots have a long and bad history, thanks to those little fuckers being a regular at a certain New Years party I go to.

[RainRaven]

There *will* be jello shots at this party.

Me and jello shots have a long and bad history, thanks to those little fuckers being a regular at a certain New Years party I go to.

So is that an admission that you already have woken up at least once next to a guy in a panda suit?

[Easy Mac]

Last I heard it was a man in kodiak bear suit... thats why its a bad history... a panda suit would have been ambiguous history

[Coffee Warlord]

So is that an admission that you already have woken up at least once next to a guy in a panda suit?

I thought we agreed never to talk about that night.

[Alf]

Where is the ladies man ? 10 posts and no mention of the ladies man....

[Easy Mac]

Where is the ladies man ? 10 posts and no mention of the ladies man....
Did you not read the panda diatribe? Besides Fritz, not many men dress in Panda suits on a daily basis.

[Franklinnoble]

Where is the ladies man ? 10 posts and no mention of the ladies man....
Sorry... The Ladies' Man was updating his dynasty thread.

Make sure she maintains eye contact while you do her in the butt.

[Easy Mac]

make sure she presents first. Panda's aren't too happy if you move in too soon.

[WSUCougar]

Time to polish up the ol' penguin hat.

[digamma]

Thank you.
Isn't it just tks? Or is it thx?

[PilotMan]

WSU is right. You are going to wear the hat? Right?

[sabotai]

Isn't it just tks? Or is it thx?

Oh shit...I screwed up. The gods will never forgive me now.

[Coffee Warlord]

WSU is right. You are going to wear the hat? Right?

I was thinking of attaching a big gold chain around the penguin and wearing him around my neck, actually.

True pimpin'.

[Easy Mac]

Well, you shouldn't have a problem picking up a redhead then... just ask JeeberD

[stevew]

Here i thought you were gonna go out in the woods and play some advanced dungeons and dragons.

Lightning bolt!

[Coffee Warlord]

Here i thought you were gonna go out in the woods and play some advanced dungeons and dragons.

Lightning bolt!

You think she'd go for that?

[Pumpy Tudors]

a her0 is u

[TLK]

need to post in this thread...... before it's cool to post in this thread

[SplitPersonality1]

need to post in this thread...... before it's cool to post in this thread

I'm sorry. The "cool" zone in a FOFC thread is the first 12 posts. Yours was post #23. Thanks for playing and have a nice day.

[TLK]

I'm sorry. The "cool" zone in a FOFC thread is the first 12 posts. Yours was post #23. Thanks for playing and have a nice day.
damn

[PsychoCop]

screw the cool zone. I posted here. MUHAHAHA.

Therefore it is now uncool.

[rkmsuf]

10 bucks your crotch gets lit on fire...literally, not figuratively.

[sachmo71]

Good luck, Coffee!

-Remember to brush your teeth.
-Pratice smiling without that sarcastic look on your face that you have in your pictures.
-Wear underwear, so maybe you'll get to take them off later after you soil them when she touches you on the leg (accidentally).
-Lie. Often.
-Save the robe and wizard hat for the third date.
-Don't compare her eyes to your mom's. It creeps some women out.
-Don't charge like a rhino.
-Be cocky and funny.
-DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK! You need to get to know her before telling her how you would like to kill everyone in your office. Especially if she is one of those people.
-Drink a beer or two, but don't get drunk.
-If you eat, eat safe foods. Tacos are out, but cheetoes are ok.
-Compliment her, but do it like normal people do. Don't say "your ears are beautiful, and remind me of Arwen, elf maiden and wife of Aragorn!" Instead, try "I like your hat. It's very pretty."
-Don't poke her in the eye. Unless...well, you'll know if it's ok. I hope.
-Ask her about what kind of music she likes.
-Nod. Even if you don't understand what the hell she is talking about.
-If all goes well, at the end of the night, ask her if she would like to have dinner with you. Get her number. Do not write it on your hand, as you will rub the numbers off later when you are alone. You dirty man, you.

Dismissed.

[Blackadar]

They inform me I should not go up, as a certain girl who works there is my age and will be showing up, single, blah blah blah. Apparently she's even a redhead.

This is either going to absolutely suck, or I'm going to charge her like a rhino.


Anyone want to bet the redhead looks like a Rhino?

[henry296]

One more... Be Cocky and Funny

[sachmo71]

-Be cocky and funny.


It's a given, though.

[Franklinnoble]

-Compliment her, but do it like normal people do. Don't say "your ears are beautiful, and remind me of Arwen, elf maiden and wife of Aragorn!" Instead, try "I like your hat. It's very pretty."

Dear God, hear my humble plea.... and return unto us the QOTM, without which FOFC has become barren and cold.

[GrantDawg]

Dear God, hear my humble plea.... and return unto us the QOTM, without which FOFC has become barren and cold.
Franklinnoble, why don't you create a website with QOTM then link it in your sig. I mean, if it is important enough to bring up every day then you should show some initiative.

[Franklinnoble]

Franklinnoble, why don't you create a website with QOTM then link it in your sig. I mean, if it is important enough to bring up every day then you should show some initiative.
I don't want to have to go somewhere else to see a QOTM... I want it at the top of the forum here, with the option for the easily-offended members to simply turn it off.

I appreciate your suggestion, but honestly, it's like me saying, "Gee, it'd be really nice if I could order pizza for all the guys," and you replying with, "Hey, why don't you just go open a pizza parlor yourself, and then invite all your friends to come out and eat there. Take some initiative."

[GrantDawg]

I don't want to have to go somewhere else to see a QOTM... I want it at the top of the forum here, with the option for the easily-offended members to simply turn it off.

I appreciate your suggestion, but honestly, it's like me saying, "Gee, it'd be really nice if I could order pizza for all the guys," and you replying with, "Hey, why don't you just go open a pizza parlor yourself, and then invite all your friends to come out and eat there. Take some initiative."
No, it isn't at all. It is like someone who likes something being creative to have it and not forcing it on a community that does not want it.

[rkmsuf]

Franklinnoble, why don't you create a website with QOTM then link it in your sig. I mean, if it is important enough to bring up every day then you should show some initiative.

It's the thrill of the hunt.

[Franklinnoble]

No, it isn't at all. It is like someone who likes something being creative to have it and not forcing it on a community that does not want it.
I think most of the community was happy with it, and a vocal few took it away for the sake of political correctness, because FOFC was supposed to be entering a new, sophisticated "golden age" with the last game's release and a link on Solecismic.com and everything.

[Ben E Lou]

I think most of the community was happy with it, and a vocal few took it away for the sake of political correctness, because FOFC was supposed to be entering a new, sophisticated "golden age" with the last game's release and a link on Solecismic.com and everything.To paraphrase Mr. Gindin, being continually unpleasant about my decision makes it more and more unlikely that I will ever change my mind. It simply makes me slightly enjoy disappointing you. ;)

[Butter]

and a vocal few took it away for the sake of political correctness,

:rolleyes:

[Desnudo]

There *will* be jello shots at this party.

What kind of business do your parents run?

[Coffee Warlord]

To paraphrase Mr. Gindin, being continually unpleasant about my decision makes it more and more unlikely that I will ever change my mind. It simply makes me slightly enjoy disappointing you. ;)

I'm glad you're here SkyDog. I need to borrow your patriotic underwear for the weekend.

[Sporkimata]

Whats the party for? Dungeons and Dragons? Dont forget your Ring of protection +4.

[Franklinnoble]

To paraphrase Mr. Gindin, being continually unpleasant about my decision makes it more and more unlikely that I will ever change my mind. It simply makes me slightly enjoy disappointing you. ;)
Who's being unpleasant? I'm not tossing around personal insults or anything... I'm just calling it like it is. You turned it off because you didn't want to offend new members who might get hit with a lewd quote their first trip out to FOFC. I get it. I just don't agree with it.

[MacroGuru]

Who's being unpleasant? I'm not tossing around personal insults or anything... I'm just calling it like it is. You turned it off because you didn't want to offend new members who might get hit with a lewd quote their first trip out to FOFC. I get it. I just don't agree with it.
QOTM is one of the reasons I decided to stick around when I found the site.

[cuervo72]

To paraphrase Mr. Gindin, being continually unpleasant about my decision makes it more and more unlikely that I will ever change my mind. It simply makes me slightly enjoy disappointing you. ;)

So I assume we shouldn't ask you if the board will be patched to allow customizable forum sizes, forum realignment or thread expansion and contraction?

[tategter]

This is either going to absolutely suck, or I'm going to charge her like a rhino.

Don't forget to wrap your horn.

[sachmo71]

Don't forget to wrap your horn.


This is a redhead, tategter. You need to do that schiznit bareback.

[duckman]

Good luck, Coffee!

-Remember to brush your teeth.
-Pratice smiling without that sarcastic look on your face that you have in your pictures.
-Wear underwear, so maybe you'll get to take them off later after you soil them when she touches you on the leg (accidentally).
-Lie. Often.
-Save the robe and wizard hat for the third date.
-Don't compare her eyes to your mom's. It creeps some women out.
-Don't charge like a rhino.
-Be cocky and funny.
-DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK! You need to get to know her before telling her how you would like to kill everyone in your office. Especially if she is one of those people.
-Drink a beer or two, but don't get drunk.
-If you eat, eat safe foods. Tacos are out, but cheetoes are ok.
-Compliment her, but do it like normal people do. Don't say "your ears are beautiful, and remind me of Arwen, elf maiden and wife of Aragorn!" Instead, try "I like your hat. It's very pretty."
-Don't poke her in the eye. Unless...well, you'll know if it's ok. I hope.
-Ask her about what kind of music she likes.
-Nod. Even if you don't understand what the hell she is talking about.
-If all goes well, at the end of the night, ask her if she would like to have dinner with you. Get her number. Do not write it on your hand, as you will rub the numbers off later when you are alone. You dirty man, you.

Dismissed.
Absolutely funny shit!

[tategter]

This is a redhead, tategter. You need to do that schiznit bareback.

Good point. Last time I charged a readhead like a rhino she charged my Visa card.

[bbor]

I'd go to Chicago.

[Fritz]

find out if she likes pizza delivery

[Franklinnoble]

find out if she likes pizza delivery
Genius. :D

Then ask if she'd mind talking like a pirate.

[Coffee Warlord]

I'm wondering if she can make rhino mating calls, personally.

[Fritz]

try this pickup line: HARRRRRRRRRRRR!

[Honolulu_Blue]

...or something. This is too rich to not share with ya'll.

Talked to my folks this evening. They tell me they are hosting a party for their company saturday, and I should come. I inform them I was planning on going to Chicago to visit friends.

They inform me I should not go up, as a certain girl who works there is my age and will be showing up, single, blah blah blah. Apparently she's even a redhead.

This is either going to absolutely suck, or I'm going to charge her like a rhino.

And yes. There will be pics posted.

Well?

And pix plz thx!

[rkmsuf]

no news is not encouraging

self crotch burning just dropped to 3-5 in Vegas.

[Coffee Warlord]

Ah yes. Short answer, she was pretty, she was cool, she had a kid.

The latter being the total deal breaker for me, unfortunately.

When I get the pics, you'll get the pics.

[Samdari]

Ah yes. Short answer, she was pretty, she was cool, she had a kid.

The latter being the total deal breaker for me, unfortunately.

When I get the pics, you'll get the pics.

Don't you hate it when people try to set you up and leave out little details like this?

[sachmo71]

Don't you hate it when people try to set you up and leave out little details like this?


LOL! :D

[JeeberD]

I once went out with a chick that I thought had a kid but during the course of the date she told me that the kid was really her sister's. She had told our boss that it was hers so that she could get out of work easily if she needed to. She then asked me if I was upset that she wasn't a mother. Of course, I wasn't. But she was an annoying little git and I never went out with her again anyways...

[Honolulu_Blue]

Ah yes. Short answer, she was pretty, she was cool, she had a kid.

The latter being the total deal breaker for me, unfortunately.

When I get the pics, you'll get the pics.

Good man, on the pics.

That certainly is a deal breaker.

[Franklinnoble]

Uhh... not to jack the thread or anything, but why is the fact that she has a kid a deal-breaker?

Are you too good to shoplift the pooty from the single mom?

[rkmsuf]

Uhh... not to jack the thread or anything, but why is the fact that she has a kid a deal-breaker?

Are you too good to shoplift the pooty from the single mom?

You had me at wizard hat

[cuervo72]

I dunno, I would think the prospect of spending your resources to propogate the survival someone elses genes (while that other someone is probably propogating elsewhere) seems to go against some Darwinian principle somewhere...

(That said, all kids deserve to be in a stable home with a good father figure. Probably not what CW is looking to do at this point in the game though.)

[CamEdwards]

my wife had two children from a previous marriage when I met her. While there's no denying it was odd to be a dad of two at age 23 (not to mention the father of a 17-year old girl at age 30), I can't imagine it any other way. Those two kids are such a great bonus in addition to a wonderful wife.


good Lord, how cheesy was that? It's all true though.

[Coffee Warlord]

Uhh... not to jack the thread or anything, but why is the fact that she has a kid a deal-breaker?

Are you too good to shoplift the pooty from the single mom?

I heart you.

Simple reason of I want nothing to do with the possibility raising someone else's kid. I ain't ready to be a dad, and even if I was, I want the kid to be, well, mine.

I can see why she has a kid though. I woulda hit that shit too.

[Raven Hawk]

I dunno, I would think the prospect of spending your resources to propogate the survival someone elses genes (while that other someone is probably propogating elsewhere) seems to go against some Darwinian principle somewhere...

(That said, all kids deserve to be in a stable home with a good father figure. Probably not what CW is looking to do at this point in the game though.)
I hope that you aren't insinuating that CW would be a good father figure. :D

[Franklinnoble]

I heart you.

Simple reason of I want nothing to do with the possibility raising someone else's kid. I ain't ready to be a dad, and even if I was, I want the kid to be, well, mine.

I can see why she has a kid though. I woulda hit that shit too.
Well, I can echo Cam's sentiments here.... I have a 15 year old stepson, and it's a good thing. I don't see it as raising someone else's kid... I'm the only dad he's ever had.

As for being "ready," well, shit, none of us are ever ready... but it's not as scary as you'd think.

Anyhow, nobody said you had to marry the chick... ;)

[Balldog]

Ah yes. Short answer, she was pretty, she was cool, she had a kid.

The latter being the total deal breaker for me, unfortunately.

When I get the pics, you'll get the pics.

I didn't want you raising my kid anyway. She'll come crawling back to me someday.





:D

[WSUCougar]

Because CW's not ready to answer that age-old question that always throws parents for a loop:

"Daddy, why do you wear a penguin on your head?"

[stevew]

Ah yes. Short answer, she was pretty, she was cool, she had a kid.



Whoa, dude, that sucks. I can see not wanting the babymommadrama, but at least you know she puts out. I'm sure if your parents told you about the kid, though, you wouldnt have been interested.

Did she bring the kid, or did she just tell you about him/her. I hope you hid the facial expression.

[Ksyrup]

Having a kid = putting out?

Isn't it just the tiniest bit possible that she was married before? We don't know if she was or wasn't. Hell, she could have been a virgin until her wedding night! Or, she could have been in a long, monogamous relationship that fell apart after the kid was born, marriage or not.

I just find it odd that several people equate having a kid with putting out. CW will be 25 in a couple of months, and I'm assuming she is about the same age. I knew a couple that had 3 kids by that age.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Having a kid = putting out?

Isn't it just the tiniest bit possible that she was married before? We don't know if she was or wasn't. Hell, she could have been a virgin until her wedding night! Or, she could have been in a long, monogamous relationship that fell apart after the kid was born, marriage or not.

I just find it odd that several people equate having a kid with putting out. CW will be 25 in a couple of months, and I'm assuming she is about the same age. I knew a couple that had 3 kids by that age.

Umm ... unless the kid is adopted or a foster child, we know she put out at least once for somebody.

{Not ripping on you, just interesting that I didn't read any of the negative connotations into the phrase that you seem to have attached}

[hhiipp]

Having a kid = putting out?


She had to "put out" to someone to get pregnant, it's not like it happened cause she took a bath after someone that jerked off in the bathtub.

CW the kid doesn't have to be the deal breaker, you could still see her and see where things go, maybe get a piece of the poonanner (be sure to wrap though cause if she's already got one kid she's definately potent).

Still awaiting the firebush pics.

[stevew]

Having a kid = putting out?

Isn't it just the tiniest bit possible that she was married before? We don't know if she was or wasn't. Hell, she could have been a virgin until her wedding night! Or, she could have been in a long, monogamous relationship that fell apart after the kid was born, marriage or not.

I just find it odd that several people equate having a kid with putting out. CW will be 25 in a couple of months, and I'm assuming she is about the same age. I knew a couple that had 3 kids by that age.

Read the Married sex thread if you want to see that being in a relationship does not equate into putting out.

[Ksyrup]

Read the Married sex thread if you want to see that being in a relationship does not equate into putting out.
Is that a serious reply? She's got one kid. That means she's had sex at least once. In her life. Even married people have sex that often in a year.

In fact, I'm doing quite well this month... :cool:

[Coffee Warlord]

Heh. Interestingly mixed opinions on whether or not to Hit That Shit. Attempting anything with someone with a kid seems to me like Extra Headaches That I Don't Want To Deal With.

Maybe I should make a poll once the pics are up. Attempt to do her in the butt or don't attempt to do her in the butt.

[Samdari]

she's had sex at least once. In her life. Even married people have sex that often in a year.

Who?

[Ksyrup]

Me? I've had sex that often since last night. And I wasn't even by myself!

[Franklinnoble]

Maybe I should make a poll once the pics are up. Attempt to do her in the butt or don't attempt to do her in the butt.
Well, that's a good way to keep her from getting pregnant.

[Coffee Warlord]

Update:

I'm told both her and her sister (who is not nearly as attractive, and a few years older) want my nuts.

Heh.

[hhiipp]

Maybe you could get them to engage in some hot lesbo action and then take them both for a ride.

[WSUCougar]

Update:

I'm told both her and her sister (who is not nearly as attractive, and a few years older) want my nuts...
You left off the all-important end of the sentence:

"...on a platter."

[Ksyrup]

Update:

I'm told both her and her sister (who is not nearly as attractive, and a few years older) want my nuts.

Heh.
"Hey Mom, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Oh, you'll never believe what I heard. You know that girl we thought you should meet over the weekend? Well, a friend of hers told me that she and her sister want your nuts! How exciting for you!"

"Uh...yeah, thanks for the info, mom."

[Coffee Warlord]

"Hey Mom, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Oh, you'll never believe what I heard. You know that girl we thought you should meet over the weekend? Well, a friend of hers told me that she and her sister want your nuts! How exciting for you!"

"Uh...yeah, thanks for the info, mom."

Know what's even worse than that. It was my mother that told me that. From them. In less FOFC-esque words, but still.

[Balldog]

Maybe I should make a poll once the pics are up. Attempt to do her in the butt or don't attempt to do her in the butt.

So where are the damn pics already?

[Noop]

They want your nuts? I dont know about you but I would be slanging my nutts all over town if a female wanted them that badly. Hell if she promises not to eat nutts or bite them while she is enjoying them I would just unzip and relax....

[rkmsuf]

"Son, good work at the party this weekend. Your mother tells me the young ladies really want your nuts."

[stevew]

Man, where the hell are the pix at.

[Philliesfan980]

I doubt there will be any pics. Which means that CW was really really drunk that day and THOUGHT she was hot, but after reviewing the evidence, it turns out she really wasn't.

[stevew]

2 at 10, 10 at 2 anyone? Perhaps this is whats up here.

[Coffee Warlord]

The story on the pics. One, I didn't take them, other people did. Two, they were with old style cameras, not digitals. Thusly, they have to be developed and scanned. Takes time.

[Fritz]

no matter what she looks like in the pics, if she has had a kid in past few years then she has accordian marks on her stomach

[Philliesfan980]

The story on the pics. One, I didn't take them, other people did. Two, they were with old style cameras, not digitals. Thusly, they have to be developed and scanned. Takes time.

Why didn't you take any pics?

[Coffee Warlord]

no matter what she looks like in the pics, if she has had a kid in past few years then she has accordian marks on her stomach

Luckily, I don't need to do her in the stomach.

[sachmo71]

Luckily, I don't need to do her in the stomach.

No, but you might finish there.

And Fritz, your statement is not 100% accurate. Often, they also resemble a bag filled with custard, or a basketball with a tiny bit of air remaining. With hair on it.

[stevew]

Luckily, I don't need to do her in the stomach.

Hopefully they put that "extra stitch or two" back in there after she delivered.

[Fritz]

No, but you might finish there.

And Fritz, your statement is not 100% accurate. Often, they also resemble a bag filled with custard, or a basketball with a tiny bit of air remaining. With hair on it.

WOW, you could have your own TV special on discovery

[Coffee Warlord]

Hi Rob,

Just dropping you an e-mail to say that I enjoyed meeting you Saturday, and, if you would like to get together
sometime over a Guiness and discuss the luck of the Irish(or any other topic of discussion) sometime, give me a call(xxxxxxxx), or drop me a line [email protected] Well, I will keep this short and sweet....back to work now.

The not nearly as attractive one strikes first.

[JeeberD]

You know, given time this thread could become nearly as great at the How long to call? thread...

[rkmsuf]

ask her if she'll also buy your nuts a drink.

[cuervo72]

Just hope they haven't worked out some sort of deal where the lesser one got dibs or something.

[Fritz]

give me a call(xxxxxxxx), or drop me a line [email protected] Well, I will keep this short and sweet....back to work now.


how in the world was she able to secure that phone number and email address? Any woman that cunning is a keeper.

[Franklinnoble]

Hi Rob,

Just dropping you an e-mail to say that I enjoyed meeting you Saturday, and, if you would like to get together
sometime over a Guiness and discuss the luck of the Irish(or any other topic of discussion) sometime, give me a call(xxxxxxxx), or drop me a line [email protected] Well, I will keep this short and sweet....back to work now.

The not nearly as attractive one strikes first.
What she meant to say:

Hi, Rob,

I'm trying to jump your nuts before my more attractive sister does, so I'm attempting to send you a clever e-mail message that gives you the impression that I'm not too desperate, and I'm actually very busy with other things. But I'm failing miserably, and I'm lonely and desperate and I haven't had any in a while. So call me, because you can have me, and you don't even really need to bother buying me a Guiness or anything - although you may want a few, and you might want to turn the lights down real low... and pretend I'm my sister... without the kid or the stretch marks.

[Coffee Warlord]

What she meant to say:

Hi, Rob, Do me.


Got that impression as well, did ya.

[Franklinnoble]

Got that impression as well, did ya.
Yeah.

I know you've addressed the issue, but you REALLY need pix of these women in this thread. The whole of FOFC is trying to live vicariously through you here.

[Ksyrup]

It just dawned on me that I've been attached to the same woman for so long, I never had the opportunity to exchange emails with a woman I was dating.

[sachmo71]

It just dawned on me that I've been attached to the same woman for so long, I never had the opportunity to exchange emails with a woman I was dating.


Haha!

I was able to enjoy the sparkle of internet flirting. *YAWN*

[Fritz]

What she was really saying
Hi, Rob,

You know women in my genepool are fertile. Bring on the pollen.


x

[tategter]

The plot thicks

[Balldog]

Damn this thread, WAS making me feel good about my dating troubles...ie-hot chicks with kids.

Then I called the chick I met a couple weeks ago, who to my surprise has a kid. Eh. I might hit it tomorrow though :)

[MizzouRah]

I heart you.

Simple reason of I want nothing to do with the possibility raising someone else's kid. I ain't ready to be a dad, and even if I was, I want the kid to be, well, mine.

I can see why she has a kid though. I woulda hit that shit too.You mean there are hot single chicks out there without kids?

Seriously, when I was single, all the women I dated who didn't have kids, were quite boring. With kids = up all night sex-a-thon. :)

I just adopted my wife's, well our daughter and I think of her as mine and nothing else, but I do respect your feelings - I had the same years ago.

When we were dating, I came down the steps of my apartment and there was her daughter coloring the kitchen wall with a crayon. I just stood there for a minute wondering what I just got myself into. (Of course a night of hot steamy sex with "Mommy" fixed that thought) :D

Good luck!


Todd

[scooper]

Of course a night of hot steamy sex with "Mommy" fixed that thought

Even in this context, there is something very disturbing about that sentence.

[Coffee Warlord]

And the update of the day?

Me and not-as-attractive chick are going drinking Saturday.

[rkmsuf]

3 some, 3 some, 3 some, 3 some

[Franklinnoble]

And the update of the day?

Me and not-as-attractive chick are going drinking Saturday.
Don't you just love knowing with 100% certainty that you're getting laid on Saturday?

More pix are in order... bring a digital cam...

Don't be afraid to get freaky with this chick... bust out the Cleveland Steamer if you have the opportunity.

[rkmsuf]

... bust out the Cleveland Steamer if you have the opportunity.


This is sound advice. You should listen to him.

[Coffee Warlord]

Don't you just love knowing with 100% certainty that you're getting laid on Saturday?

More pix are in order... bring a digital cam...

Don't be afraid to get freaky with this chick... bust out the Cleveland Steamer if you have the opportunity.

Nah. Robe, wizard hat, rhino suit, pizza delivery outfit, yak. Check, check, check, check, and check.

[Radii]

yak. and check.


Where did you find a yak on such short notice?

[lurker]

3 some, 3 some, 3 some, 3 some

You know, I'll never understand why guys would want this with sisters. Isn't that like being present for incest?

[Coffee Warlord]

Where did you find a yak on such short notice?

You really think I go anywhere without a yak? I keep a dozen in my basement.

Helluva time keeping maids though, let me tell you.

[rkmsuf]

You know, I'll never understand why guys would want this with sisters. Isn't that like being present for incest?

Not if I'm the center of attention

[Balldog]

You know, I'll never understand why guys would want this with sisters. Isn't that like being present for incest?

As long as they are not related to you who cares.

Your telling me you would turn down a 3-some with the Coors Light twins?

[lurker]

Uh, yeah, since I'm a straight female.

I'd like to think even if I were a guy I wouldn't want those annoying people, and be squicked out by the idea of doing it with siblings.

[rkmsuf]

As long as they are not related to you who cares.

Your telling me you would turn down a 3-some with the Coors Light twins?

Is Lurker a native of the Isle of Lesbo?

[stevew]

Man, i cant believe that is what a cleveland steamer is.


found it here hxxp://www.turdwords.com/

[Franklinnoble]

Uh, yeah, since I'm a straight female.

I'd like to think even if I were a guy I wouldn't want those annoying people, and be squicked out by the idea of doing it with siblings.
So, you wouldn't want two guys doubling you up, so long as they were just doing you, and not each other, if they happened to be brothers?

[rkmsuf]

Man, i cant believe that is what a cleveland steamer is.


found it here hxxp://www.turdwords.com/

Franky doesn't play around. I suggest if he's feeling good, CW should go for the Dirty Sanchez.

[lurker]

You don't talk to many women, do you Franklin?

[Franklinnoble]

You don't talk to many women, do you Franklin?
Well, there's only like 3 or 4 on this board, so I guess not.

[stevew]

Query "Roman War Helmet."

[Samdari]

You know, I'll never understand why guys would want this with sisters. Isn't that like being present for incest?

You don't visit enough porn sites, girl.

Incest is just behind lesbo as a turn on. Combine the two, and well, its the dream scenario. Actually, in the dream scenario, I believe a yak is somehow involved, but exactly how was never clear to me.

[rkmsuf]

Query "Roman War Helmet."

you magnificent bastard...I hadn't heard that one. hilarious.

[lurker]

You don't visit enough porn sites, girl.

Incest is just behind lesbo as a turn on. Combine the two, and well, its the dream scenario. Actually, in the dream scenario, I believe a yak is somehow involved, but exactly how was never clear to me.

Sorry to threadjack, but why? Incest is something that isn't socially acceptable unless a guy is there too? Doesn't something about that seem strange?

[Franklinnoble]

You don't visit enough porn sites, girl.

Incest is just behind lesbo as a turn on. Combine the two, and well, its the dream scenario. Actually, in the dream scenario, I believe a yak is somehow involved, but exactly how was never clear to me.
In the dream scenario, the sisters are your 20-something elementary school grammar teachers. The yak is optional.

[rkmsuf]

Sorry to threadjack, but why? Incest is something that isn't socially acceptable unless a guy is there too? Doesn't something about that seem strange?

that's too much thinking

[Franklinnoble]

Sorry to threadjack, but why? Incest is something that isn't socially acceptable unless a guy is there too? Doesn't something about that seem strange?
But the yak part is OK with you?

[lurker]

Yeah, sure. Who doesn't love a yak?

[Samdari]

Sorry to threadjack, but why? Incest is something that isn't socially acceptable unless a guy is there too? Doesn't something about that seem strange?

Well, its not something that particularly turns me on. I've just heard from friends (yeah, that's it, friends) that images/stories about or purporting to be about incest, are everywhere. Probably something to do with its being forbidden makes it more exciting. Also popular is the idea of watching/participating with your wife and another man (or woman, or several men/women/snakes/chinchillas). I don't get that one either.

[JeeberD]

Nah. Robe, wizard hat, rhino suit, pizza delivery outfit, yak. Check, check, check, check, and check.

Penguin hat!!!

[Buzzbee]

Query "Roman War Helmet."

For CW, shouldn't that be Roman War Penguin?

[Balldog]

Uh, yeah, since I'm a straight female.

I'd like to think even if I were a guy I wouldn't want those annoying people, and be squicked out by the idea of doing it with siblings.

OK, bad example but you get my point.

[Balldog]

Sorry to threadjack, but why? Incest is something that isn't socially acceptable unless a guy is there too?

Yes.


Doesn't something about that seem strange?


Not one bit.

[Passacaglia]

I'm just glad I don't have a brother right now, or else I'd probably be really grossed out.

[lurker]

Hey, I said I wouldn't do it, what else do you want? :)

[rkmsuf]

Hey, I said I wouldn't do it, what else do you want? :)

for you to say you would. your stock would go through the roof.

[B & B]

Much like Jake Delhomme's

[Ksyrup]

I enjoyed Hotel New Hampshire, so excuuuuuuuuuuse me!

[Samdari]

for you to say you would. your stock would go through the roof.

We can buy stock in lurker?

[rkmsuf]

We can buy stock in lurker?


he...hehe...hehe...he said "buy stock". hehe..he...hehe

[MizzouRah]

Even in this context, there is something very disturbing about that sentence.
After reading it over, yes there is. :)


Todd

[Coffee Warlord]

More Kleenex fodder for all of you not getting any tonight.

Picking her up at 8 for beer and rectal loving.

Looking forward to Guinness, giggles and (for lack of better "G" words) good times tomorrow. Hope you have had a most
pleasant Friday.

Tah tah for now,
Tracy

[finkenst]

I SHOULD drive up to galesburg and take digital photography of this for FOFC.

[Franklinnoble]

More Kleenex fodder for all of you not getting any tonight.

Picking her up at 8 for beer and rectal loving.

Looking forward to Guinness, giggles and (for lack of better "G" words) good times tomorrow. Hope you have had a most
pleasant Friday.

Tah tah for now,
Tracy
Update, please?

[CamEdwards]

After reading this thread, I can only assume that she bit his nuts off. He's probably dead in his apartment right now, naked except for a penguin hat, while the two sisters get each other off with a yak.

Does that about sum it up?

[NoMyths]

After reading this thread, I can only assume that she bit his nuts off. He's probably dead in his apartment right now, naked except for a penguin hat, while the two sisters get each other off with a yak.

Does that about sum it up?:eek:

[Radii]

After reading this thread, I can only assume that she bit his nuts off. He's probably dead in his apartment right now, naked except for a penguin hat, while the two sisters get each other off with a yak.

Does that about sum it up?


I don't think I've ever laughed harder at a single post on this board.

[Coffee Warlord]

Dammit Cam! You need a warning label on posts that funny.

The short update is...we went out, we drank, we talked, we drank, we ate drunk food breakfast, we went back to my place, and ya'll can figure out the rest yourself.

[stevew]

Okay, so is the strategy here to ball the hell out of the not as pretty sister, which will hopefully lead to her telling the hotter sister that you are a stud, which will lead to a 3 way? If that is the case, you are the wind beneath my wings.

[Poli]

Oh dear lord. NOT THE FUTON!

[Coffee Warlord]

Oh dear lord. NOT THE FUTON>

It did start on the futon, but did not finish on the futon. It remains unscathed.

And under certain circumstances, Pulp Fiction is a romantic movie, I guess. Don't ask.

And yes. My ultimate goal is still the really attractive sister. Both together would be a bonus. Regardless, for the first time in a LONG time, I am seeing someone with absolutely no desire/consideration for long-term shit. (Mainly due to the fact that I will NOT be living in this town forever. Things to tie me here would be bad). Finding this strangely refreshing, I am.

[Poli]

Must I start sleeping on the bed in the basement?

[Coffee Warlord]

Must I start sleeping on the bed in the basement?

Then you have to deal with the bees that got in over the weekend, that I have declared Jihad upon.

I've let loose the bee napalm down there. It's a war zone. But worry not. Victory will be mine.

[Poli]

Then you have to deal with the bees that got in over the weekend, that I have declared Jihad upon.

I've let loose the bee napalm down there. It's a war zone. But worry not. Victory will be mine.
I'm clearly in a no win situation here.

[Ksyrup]

Finding this strangely refreshing, I am.
It's a war zone. But worry not. Victory will be mine.

So sex turns you into Yoda, too, huh? I thought that was just me...

[cuervo72]

Then you have to deal with the bees that got in over the weekend, that I have declared Jihad upon.

I've let loose the bee napalm down there. It's a war zone. But worry not. Victory will be mine.

Are these ninja bees with the capability to maim?

[rkmsuf]

After reading this thread, I can only assume that she bit his nuts off. He's probably dead in his apartment right now, naked except for a penguin hat, while the two sisters get each other off with a yak.

Does that about sum it up?


That's gold Jerry!

[Suicane75]

You do realize that at some point while doing her you are gonna have to grab hold of her hips and say "damn, your sister is so friggin hot baby". Don't you?

[rkmsuf]

Tah tah for now,
Tracy[/i]

uh, yeah...that's hot.

[Pumpy Tudors]

where da fook are da pics thx

[Franklinnoble]

I'd pay good money to see the not-so-hot sister get an account here on FOFC.

[Coffee Warlord]

If she did, people would lose posts. I value my nuts, thank you.

[Franklinnoble]

If she did, people would lose posts. I value my nuts, thank you.
:D

Seriously now, we need pix of this chick.

[Balldog]

You can not promise pics then back out, is your loyalty with us or her?

Btw, Saturday I confirmed the speculation that chicks with a kid do put out. ;)

[sachmo71]

"We can head on down to the maternity ward. You know those chicks put out."

-Patch Adams

[Coffee Warlord]

:D

Seriously now, we need pix of this chick.

I have them, they need to be scanned.

[Raven Hawk]

I have them, they need to be scanned.
Seriously . . . they need to be scanned NOW! ;)

[scooper]

http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/html/emoticons/useless.gif

[stevew]

pix plz, thx

[Poli]

No pics on the futon, pls, thx.

[Travis]

Countdown to Coffee posting a pic of his ass, collectively mooning everybody on this board that has been clamouring for pics of this chick in...

5...

4...

3...

[cuervo72]

Ok, we'd better start bugging SovereignStar again then.

[Franklinnoble]

I have them, they need to be scanned.
Still waiting...

[rkmsuf]

we've been bamboozeld

[JeeberD]

Dammit, he's gone and fallen in love and grown a conscious...

[Coffee Warlord]

More like, he's back from reffing a paintball game in Chicago, sore as hell, and still has to find a damn scanner. I thought we had one at work, it seems I was mistaken.

[rkmsuf]

Dammit, he's gone and fallen in love and grown a conscious...

or he's lacking the photoshop skills to make an exceptable presentation

[Franklinnoble]

More like, he's back from reffing a paintball game in Chicago, sore as hell, and still has to find a damn scanner. I thought we had one at work, it seems I was mistaken.
Dude, seriously... Kinko's copies can hook you up.

Even some Wal-Marts have those Kodak kiosks that you can scan photos with.

How'd the paintball game go?

[Coffee Warlord]

Shatner got massacred.

4 refs went down with heat exhaustion, 5 ambulance calls for players (1 concussion, 1 seperated shoulder, and 3 serious heat related problems).

Rough day, but it was still a good time.

[Noop]

I think this is a joke gone wrong.

[Yossarian]

Sounds like a rough game of paintball..

reminds me of the time my brother managed to fracture an elbow and dislocate a knee playing sports.

People asked "what the heck were you playing"

answer? "Badminton"

[Coffee Warlord]

Since I have yet to give you the proper pics, I'll give you all a little something to distract you from my lack of scannage.

Probably not work safe. No total nudity, but, well, you'll see.

hxxp://www.hark.org/rob/kappabids.jpg

[Franklinnoble]

Since I have yet to give you the proper pics, I'll give you all a little something to distract you from my lack of scannage.

Probably not work safe. No total nudity, but, well, you'll see.

hxxp://www.hark.org/rob/kappabids.jpg
Nice consolation prize...

[Coffee Warlord]

Nice consolation prize...

Thought you might approve. :D

[JeeberD]

Nice cleavage... :)

[sabotai]

...does that one blonde chick in the front to the left not have a torso?

[hhiipp]

Snail mail the pix to someone with a scanner, plz, k, thx.

Franklin is willing to pay the overnight fees.

[Coffee Warlord]

Some of them have been scanned. Quality is not good, but here's the first.

hxxp://www.hark.org/rob/first_pic.jpg

The two on the right are the two sisters.

Anyone saying anything about the lady in the middle dies a horrible and painful death. (Hint hint on who that is.)

[Poli]

Is it you? I don't see the penguin hat.

[PsychoCop]

Who's that old lady in the middle wearing a red shirt? Oh... it's not a lady...

[timmynausea]

I had actually hoped for smaller photos, but I guess I can settle for this tiny one.

[sachmo71]

I had actually hoped for smaller photos, but I guess I can settle for this tiny one.


LOL!

[Coffee Warlord]

I had actually hoped for smaller photos, but I guess I can settle for this tiny one.

I'm just here to make you happy.

[Balldog]

I'd hit it. Assuming the one on the right is the one with a kid.

[sachmo71]

I'd hit it. Assuming the one on the right is the one with a kid.

How can you tell? Is it the blur of the face that does it for you, or the bending over position?

And is the one in the middle Alice from The Brady Bunch?



I KID BECAUSE I LOVE!!

[Suicane75]

I hope she wasn't as dissapointed with the size as we were. :D

[hhiipp]

I hope she wasn't as dissapointed with the size as we were. :D
Instant classic!

[stevew]

Where did i put my zoom vision goggles?

[WSUCougar]

Objects in this mirror are larger than they appear.

[sachmo71]

Objects in this mirror are larger than they appear.

If you're doing it right, it can't be seen in the mirror. Well, part of it on the backstroke, but that's no way to judge.

[Vince]

Since I have yet to give you the proper pics, I'll give you all a little something to distract you from my lack of scannage.

Probably not work safe. No total nudity, but, well, you'll see.

hxxp://www.hark.org/rob/kappabids.jpgCW, just out of curiousity...what school is that from? I think you might have a picture of my ex-girlfriend there (actually seriously). She pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma around that time, and went to school around there...

[sachmo71]

Jeebs, just out of curiousity...what school is that from? I think you might have a picture of my ex-girlfriend there (actually seriously). She pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma around that time, and went to school around there...

Can you not recognize her face, or her...ummm, earlobes from the picture? :D

[JeeberD]

Jeebs, just out of curiousity...what school is that from? I think you might have a picture of my ex-girlfriend there (actually seriously). She pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma around that time, and went to school around there...


:confused:

I didn't post the pic, you need to talk to CW about that... :)

[Coffee Warlord]

Jeebs, just out of curiousity...what school is that from? I think you might have a picture of my ex-girlfriend there (actually seriously). She pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma around that time, and went to school around there...

I have no idea. A friend of mine sent me that a couple years ago, basically saying "why didn't the chapter of KKG at OUR school do shit like that!??!". I had to agree.

[Vince]

Can you not recognize her face, or her...ummm, earlobes from the picture? :D
Well...let's just say she wouldnt' be one in the front of the picture. I didn't date her long, but I found out a bit about her, and I have no idea how she got to be a sorority girl. There's a girl in the back of the photo that looks suspiciously like her, but it's impossible to tell.

[Vince]

Dola - turns out that's the Wisconsin chapter...same pledge class as my ex, different school. Anyhow...

[Franklinnoble]

Disappointing, CW. I expected something better than a photo the size of a postage stamp.

[rkmsuf]

this thread has jumped the shark

[WSUCougar]

So what does it need?

[rkmsuf]

So what does it need?

heh, you're scratching me right where I itch.

MORE COWBELL!

[Suicane75]

So what does it need?

Pictures, not thumbnails.

[sachmo71]

nekkid redheads

[Suicane75]

nekkid redheads

Also good.

[JeeberD]

nekkid redheads

Mmmmmmmmmm... http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/liebe/love-smiley-021.gif

[rkmsuf]

female redheads please

[JeeberD]

female redheads please

Good call...

[rkmsuf]

Good call...

human female redheads please

[Franklinnoble]

human female redheads please
http://www.beachboysfanclub.com/walk99/carnie6-23.jpg

Done.

[rkmsuf]

http://www.beachboysfanclub.com/walk99/carnie6-23.jpg

Done.

living, good looking, nekkid, human, female, redheads.

[Coffee Warlord]

living, good looking, nekkid, human, female, redheads.

While my pics of the women in question suck, I do however have several other pics at my disposal.

Ye shall be gifted with a lovely living, good looking, nekked, human, female, redhead when I get home from work.

[Franklinnoble]

living, good looking, nekkid, human, female, redheads.
Eh... go Google "Carnie Wilson" and find her recent Playboy spread.

[stevew]

Carnie is still a fat girl on the inside. She really didnt look all that great to me naked anyways. Her tits were all funny.

[Franklinnoble]

Carnie is still a fat girl on the inside. She really didnt look all that great to me naked anyways. Her tits were all funny.
You'd still hit it...

[sachmo71]

Ladies in white ain't my cup of tea...

[Franklinnoble]

Ladies in white ain't my cup of tea...
You've obviously never been to a decent wet t-shirt contest.

[stevew]

You'd still hit it...

Truth be told, my post was gonna state

Carnie is still a fat girl on the inside. I'd still hit it, but she really didnt look all that great to me naked anyways. Her tits were all funny.

But, my wife was walking through the room at that time. ;)

[Airhog]

Im my just be me, but I'd fo-shizzle every woman on my nizzle in that picture