Q for the legal types

[mgadfly]

Warning, WAY OFF TOPIC.

Last night I received a call from my brother that his wife had packed up their three kids and left. I'm sure this happens quite often to people, but my brother then told me what he has learned over the past couple days.

His wife left with her 16 year old lover (she is 28) and the 3 kids.
They left from the Seattle area and the last time she used the gas card (his company gas card that he has since had disabled) was in eastern Oregon.
The young lover is from Oklahoma.
About 3 weeks ago she emptied out their bank account (they had $8,000 saved up as they were hoping to buy a home in a couple years).
Last month she didn't pay their rent ($1100).
She took their only car (a van) loaded with all their personal belongings (including a number of firearms).

So my brother now has $250 cash, is staying at his employers office (although he could have forced the landlord to evict him), and doesn't exactly know what to do.

What he really wants is the three kids, and has contacted someone to help him with a temporary custody hearing on Tuesday.

I was wondering if anyone has any experience with something like this and might be able to suggest what he should be doing now in order to make getting his kids back easier in the future.

What happens if the Washington court gives him temporary custody but the kids are in Oklahoma? If he goes there with the order, will the police accompany him to the home to get the kids?

Also, does a concealed weapons permit in Washington allow someone to carry a concealed weapon in Okahoma?

I have access to Westlaw and can look most of this stuff up, but I never took a course on family law at all, and wouldn't even know where to begin. I was hoping that someone might have a little experience in this sort of thing, and might have a little advice.

[chinaski]

what a fucked up story, i feel for your brother.

The 1st thing that pops to mind is, his wife is a rapist and adulterer. That right there should be enough to guarantee him custody of the kids. Unless he has skeletons of his own.

If the Washington courts agree as well, theres nothing she can do, even if she is in Oklahoma. The police there would have to deal with her and send her back to Washington (or at least the kids).

[NoMyths]

Wow. :(

[JAG]

What a sucky story, hope everything works out alright for your brother and sorry I can't offer much in the way of legal advice.

[Shepp]

Your brother neads to get himself a lawyer and sue for custody of the children. In the mean time he should call the local police in Washington and report what has happened. Laws vary from state to state, I work in Georgia and I'm sure Washington's are probably at least a little different.

In Georgia sixteen is the legal age of consent for sex. However, sixteen is also a juvenile, so I think your brother would have a fair chance of getting a "Cruelty to Children warrent" if mom took the kids to be with her sixteen year old lover.

Once again the laws very from state to state, but the Police will advise you on any criminal action that is available. (That is the quickest way to get immendiate custody of the children). Then sueing for custody is the means to keep them.

[albionmoonlight]

There are federal statutes that allow for the uniform custody of children (so one party can't get one state saying one thing and the other party get another state saying another.). That said, this situation raises legal issues way over my head.

He needs a lawyer. I don't know what his income is, but he could try a legal clinic at a local law school. Even if he has too much money to qualify, they may be able to point him in the right direction.

I know that lawyers are expensive (ball washing bastards and all that), but these are his kids at stake. He needs to do whatever it takes to get a good one. Does he know anyone who would know a good lawyer. You have access to Westlaw--maybe you know someone who would know someone?

[mgadfly]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess he received a letter from her stating that she just needed to start a new life. He has found out that the 16 year old is on probation in the state of Washington, so it is likely that he is violating a condition by leaving the state.

My brother has decided that he'll try to get temporary custody even if he can't get physical custody because the kids are in Oklahoma. Then he'll be super nice to her hoping that she will come back to Washington. He's not really sure what else he can do other than try to find where she is at in Oklahoma and then make a trip and try to grab them (which sounds like an awful idea to me, but he doesn't have many options).

I asked a city police officer who is a friend what they do in a situation like this, and he said that absent an order from the court asking them to go get the kids (so more than just a temporary custody order) they stay out of disputes between parents. I wanted to ask him what he thought would happen if my brother went to Oklahoma and took them, but didn't get around to it. If she reported them kidnapped, I wonder what happens if my brother gets pulled over on his way back to Washington. This also made me wonder how you could prove that any child was yours since you don't have photo ID for them or anything.

I'll ask around the law school if anyone knows a good attorney for this type of thing, but I'm not sure what they can really do if the children are not in Washington anymore. I guess I should have taken some family law classes over the past couple years.

Thanks again.

[Ksyrup]

I don't know squat about family law, either, but one thing to keep in mind is that he's obviously got the law on his side, and he should use it. Going solo is a bad idea. Maybe he should hire a PI in OK to find out where they are, and work the courts in WA and OK (if necessary) to get the legal ammo to grab the kids.

[pennywisesb]

My brother has decided that he'll try to get temporary custody even if he can't get physical custody because the kids are in Oklahoma. Then he'll be super nice to her hoping that she will come back to Washington.


He has no reason to have to be nice to her. At this point, she doesn't have a chance in hell of keeping those kids if he takes legal action. He really needs to get the authorities involved with this and not try to play the "nice guy" here. She basically stole most of their stuff, emptied the bank account, then kidnapped the kids. Remember, if this were a divorce, he'd be entitled to at least half of everything she took with her. Even if he doesn't think he has the money for counsel, he really needs to scrape together whatever he can and get the law involved.