Worth a Chuckle

[Coffee Warlord]

From: The League Office

The league office has decided to suspend Trent Wakefield of St. Louis for the 2009 season.

Wakefield was seen dating Amber Frey, in violation of the league's strict rule against having anything to do with the Scott Peterson trial.

*laughs* Never saw that one before.

[Celeval]

That's definately a new one in 5.1 :-D

[Celeval]

dola.

Complete (afaik) list of suspensions in 5.1a (new ones bolded):

...tested positive for alcohol use, in violation of the league's strict anti-drug policy.
...tested positive for drug use, in violation of the league's strict anti-substance abuse policy.
...tested positive for tobacco use, in violation of the league's strict anti-smoking policy.
...was arrested for a weapons violation, in violation of the league's strict anti-violence policy.
...was arrested for instigating a brawl during a party, in violation of the league's strict anti-violence policy.
...was arrested for assault, in violation of the league's strict anti-violence policy.
...was arrested for creating an R-rated rap album, in violation of the league's strict anti-explicit lyrics policy.
...was arrested for appearing on American Idol, in violation of the league's strict anti-teen trend policy.
...was spotted driving a 70-foot SUV, in violation of the league's strict anti-gas guzzling/terrorism support policy.
...was arrested for acting in a bad Hollywood film, in violation of the league's strict anti-negative image policy.
...was accused of designing computer football simulations, in violation of the league's strict anti-trust policy.
...was observed three-putting the 17th green, in violation of the league's strict anti-bad golf policy.
...was arrested for purchasing a 1,700-square foot ranch home, in violation of the league's strict rule against living in relative poverty.
...was arrested for having an affair with a White House intern, in violation of the league's strict anti-presidential scandal policy.
...was arrested for a drive-by shooting involving a Las Vegas entertainer, in violation of the league's strict rule against harrassing Sigfried.
...appeared on television with Dan Rather, in violation of the league's strict rule against manufacturing fake contract documents.
...was arrested for, um, leaving something behind in someone's closet that didn't belong there, in violation of just about everyone's sensibilities.
...was observed traveling to Asia in search of a society where mild drug use is encouraged, violating the league's rule against losing one's mind.
...appeared on The Bachelor, kissing and fondling no less than 25 women, in violation of the league's rule against having too many groupies in the huddle.
...flip-flopped repeatedly in a media interview, in violation of the league's strict rule against running for president while on an active roster.
...was seen dating Amber Frey, in violation of the league's strict rule against having anything to do with the Scott Peterson trial.
...was caught performing blue activities in a red state, in violation of the league's rule against overly superficial political expression.
...was seen marking a provisional ballot with purple crayons, in violation of the league's strict rule against defrauding the electorate.
...was seen listening to his iPod during pre-game warmups, in violation of the league's strict rule against appearing truly relaxed at any time.

[fantastic flying froggies]

I heart Jim's sense of humor...

[Franklinnoble]

Awesome. :D

[SplitPersonality1]

...was arrested for, um, leaving something behind in someone's closet that didn't belong there, in violation of just about everyone's sensibilities.

hehe. good ole Najeh Davenport.

[Swaggs]

So, hot tubbing with the babysitter is cool now? :)

[gstelmack]

Where is:

...was observed posting endlessly on Internet message boards, in violation of the league's strict rule against making idiotic statements.

?

[Radii]

hehe. good ole Najeh Davenport.

I can't remember if it was Stuart Scott or Salisbury(sp?) but one of them earlier in the season said soemthing like:

"Najeh Davenport is a great number 2 man" .... dramatic pause ... "to Ahman Green."

I don't even know if it was intentional or not but I don't think I've ever laughed as hard at anything on ESPN before or since.

[SplitPersonality1]

I can't remember if it was Stuart Scott or Salisbury(sp?) but one of them earlier in the season said soemthing like:

"Najeh Davenport is a great number 2 man" .... dramatic pause ... "to Ahman Green."

I don't even know if it was intentional or not but I don't think I've ever laughed as hard at anything on ESPN before or since.


Too bad I missed that. That would have been great to see/hear. Reminds me back when he was drafted by the Packers. When the story broke, some fans petitioned to get his jersey changed to #2.