The "Because of Christmas I Can't Afford FM2005" FM2005 Dynasty

[CraigSca]

This one may be short and sweet, since I'm not very good with soccer and I'm likely to be fired soon after taking over my football club, Scarborough.

I'll be looking over my made-up roster next. Let me know if you want more detail or if you'd rather I push forward and just give more statistical information.

[CraigSca]

Roster

Goalies

Miles Pundham - 32 years old. Was on the rocketship to the Premier League before a chemical dependency (cocoa butter) got the best of him. He's cheap, so I figure I'll keep him around a few years.

Thomas Erntwhistle - 18 years old. Has great agility but only one eye, so his depth perception isn't really that good. We may have to move him to a new position where depth perception isn't as important.

[tanglewood]

Miles Pundham - 32 years old. Was on the rocketship to the Premier League before a chemical dependency (cocoa butter) got the best of him. He's cheap, so I figure I'll keep him around a few years.

I take it all of his records have an asterix next to them?

[CraigSca]

He denies the cocoa butter usage. His agent says his physical therapist told him it was just steroids.

[Eaglesfan27]

ROFL, I'll be reading this with interest. I just have to be sure not to laugh too loud :)

[CraigSca]

Due to a network issue, I had a post about my defensive corps that was so funny, I liken it to the Monty Python skit about British development in World War 2 of the the joke that was so funny that you would literally die laughing.

Oh well...the internet is a fickle thing...

[CraigSca]

Forwards

"Joe" - 22 year old American prima donna. Has long, curly black hair that he refuses to cut and it has proven to be a distraction. Fortunately, he is willing to tuck it into the waistband of his pants. Has a great first move on the ball, it's moves 2 through 4 that we need to work on. Since he's been here in the UK, he's stopped saying, "when's our next soccer game?", but still can't locate where he is on a globe (he points to somewhere in southeast Canada).

Paddy Wellington - 34 years old. Assistant Mgr/Striker. Has been playing the game 34 years (since he "got me first pair of knickers") and constantly reminds everyone of that fact. Is more interested in telling other players what they're doing wrong than playing the game. Is beginning to get anonymous death threats from other members of the team.

Kypreos Papadapolous - 22 year old. Young Greek who runs really fast and is tremendously skilled. Unfortunately, no one speaks Greek on the team so he often misses practices and matches. Occasionally we bump into him on the Underground on non-game days. No matter how loud we speak to him, he still doesn't understand us.

Ernie "Babyface" Agerstam - 12 year old prodigy. Wears a fake beard on match day to "qualify" to play. Has some nice skills and speed but has a short attention span and will only practice for short periods of time before he starts whining. During our pregame meal we need to order him Mac n' Cheese or peanut butter and jelly because he doesn't like "yucky" food. Thinks he knows everything and constantly rolls his eyes when you speak to him.

[condors]

this should be a reality show or something

[CraigSca]

We schedule our first friendly against Inter of the Italian Series A. I want my team to understand how badly they suck and to see if I can destroy morale for an entire year in an hour and a half.

I think I'll start Erntwhistle in goal, the defense and midfield shall remain nameless, and up front I'll use Joe and Agerstam.

The match starts out slow as my team repeatedly uses the "kick the ball out of bounds" defense. It's kinda like the Dean Smith 4-corners except it doesn't work. Erntwhistle has decided to stand at the right post of the goal, concentrating on using his one good eye to scan the entire left-hand side of the field. The one time during the match that Joe and Agerstam actually gain possession of the ball, Joe refuses to pass to "a petulant child" in Agerstam and instead stands petulantly in the middle of the field refusing to move. Needless to say, our one possession lasts less than the time it took to write about it.

The match itself lasts 4 hours because of a series of yellow cards and fake falls by my team. In the 48th minute, Erntwhistle catches a taxi and is never heard from again. Miles Pundham replaces him in net but his eyes are dilated and he's very fidgety (classis signs of cocoa butter usage). Because of lack of depth, in the second half I enlist the help of a pack of squirrels that have taken residence under the bleacher seating. In the 88th minute, Babyface Agerstam quits the team, saying he has homework due that night.

Mercifully, the game ends and I inform the team that practice starts at 8am sharp the next morning.

The next morning, no one shows up and Scarborough FC quietly shuts it's doors. I am awaiting job offers.

[FrogMan]

hrm, will we now have a real version of that dynasty with the twist I read in Eaglesfan27's dynasty? ;)

FM

[CraigSca]

Well...here's hoping. The order is still "processing". I'm hoping Gamespot didn't hose me when they said "Worldwide Soccer Manager" is in-stock.

[Eaglesfan27]

I hope you get it soon. I'm enjoying reading all of the FM dynasties on here. I really like this dynasty, but I'm sure I'll enjoy reading your "real" FM dynasty as well.

[SirFozzie]

Well damnit, you guys keep all this dynastys up, and I'm going to have to do one too!

[CraigSca]

Yay, confirmed shipped today via FedEx. Dynasty #750 on it's way! I hope my I'm able to get Thomas Erntwhistle on loan from Scarborough in my real dynasty :D

[Eaglesfan27]

Yay, confirmed shipped today via FedEx. Dynasty #750 on it's way! I hope my I'm able to get Thomas Erntwhistle on loan from Scarborough in my real dynasty :D

Yay!! and LOL :)