Neighbors: What Would You Do?

[Swaggs]

My wife and I are having issues with a neighbor, so I thought I would bring it here for thoughts.

Our house is the first in a cul de sac and we own a lot and a half (to everyone elses' single lot), so we have a little extra front yard off of the street than our immediate neighbors. Before leaving town for a week, we put out 8-12 bags of yard waste in front of our house. In Durham, we pay something like $35-$50/year for yard waste removal, which is pretty well worth it. So, a few days before we leave town, about 8-12 more bags of yard waste appears in front of our house, along with a discarded Christmas tree. We are not 100% certain as to who did it, but based on the neighbors we do know, the other houses that have their own yard waste in front, and the amount of bags, we have a pretty good idea who put it there. Other than briefly meeting these neighbors, we have no relationship with them whatsoever.

Now, we are generally pissed off, thinking that that neighbor is too cheap to pay for the service and put it in front of our house without even asking. My wife is much more angry about this than I am and wants to do something. I advise her that it is smart to pick and choose your battles and that we have to live with these people. We decide to let it slide and go on our weeklong vacation.

When we return, late Sunday evening, we are pleased to see that all the bags have been removed, but the Christmas tree is still sitting in our front yard--where it has sat, by itself, for the last 4-5 days.

I am pretty pissed that, after seeing that the yard disposal people didn't take it, that the original owner didn't immediately remove it from our yard. Since we are not 100% certain who it belongs to, I do not want to complain to the homeowners' association or start accusing anyone, but what kind of asshole would do something like this?

Last night, my wife dragged it up to the corner (where our yard meets the neighbors') and put a cardboard sign on it saying (to the effect of): "If you put your Christmas tree in someone elses' yard, please remove it. We will not pay to dump your trash!" We hope this will embarass its' owners to remove it.

Now, what would you do?

If it is not gone by this weekend, I will probably call the homeowners' association and go door to door. Sorry for the vent, but I just can't believe how rude/inconsiderate/classless some people are.

[scooper]

I think your wife handled it well.

[Balldog]

If it is not gone by this weekend, I will probably call the homeowners' association and go door to door. Sorry for the vent, but I just can't believe how rude/inconsiderate/classless some people are.


Sounds reasonable to me, as long as you are able to keep your cool while doing it.

[rkmsuf]

Dress up like Winthorp in Trading Places and wander around the neighboorhood knocking on doors with tree in hand.

[Blackadar]

No reason to go door to door. That's just being absurd. If you knocked on my front door, accusing me of dumping trash in your yard, I'd probably knock your teeth out. Or take the tree that's by the curb and put it back in your front yard, throw kerosene on it and burn it.

Essentially, your wife made the point. That's enough.

[bbo]

Before I got to the end of your story I was thinking the exact thing she ended up doing. Nice work.
If the jerks who put it there don't take it back due to the sign though what makes you think going house to house would make them admit it anyways?
Not knowing your neighbors I would guess some of them "might" get pissed if you stopped by asking about it and they subconciously (I think I butchered that word) are thinking you thought it was them?

Brian

[rkmsuf]

No reason to go door to door. That's just being absurd. If you knocked on my front door, accusing me of dumping trash in your yard, I'd probably knock your teeth out. Or take the tree that's by the curb and put it back in your front yard, throw kerosene on it and burn it.

Essentially, your wife made the point. That's enough.

Not if I was drunk and had a whole fish tucked inside my santa suit. Oh and a gun.

[Blackadar]

Not if I was drunk and had a whole fish tucked inside my santa suit. Oh and a gun.

You're right. You'd never get the chance to even state the accusation before you were dropped. :)

[panerd]

I don't know about punching in your teeth, but I would also be pissed if you came to my door. In effect you would be pissing off 99% of your neighbors to make a point to one. (who won't admit it probably anyways)

[Franklinnoble]

Take it up with the homeowners association. But there's a good chance they won't do a damned thing about it.

There is a slight possiblity that the tree and/or the extra garbage didn't come from any immediate neighbor - it could have been some tool driving around looking for a good spot to drop some trash.

Anyhow, I would do the door-to-door thing if nothing happens. Sure, you might piss off a few neighbors, but the bottom line is that you'll firmly establish right away that you won't tolerate being shit on.

[spleen1015]

When you talk to your neighbors, I wouldn't accuse them. I would ask them if they saw who put it out there. Express your displeasure about it at the same time.

[Maple Leafs]

Someone did the exact same thing to me this year -- Christmas tree only, though, no accompanying garbage.

If I ever get to a point in my life where I need to be dishonest in order to discard a symbol of a religous event, please just put a slug in my head.

[Blackadar]

When you talk to your neighbors, I wouldn't accuse them. I would ask them if they saw who put it out there. Express your displeasure about it at the same time.

MOUNTAINmolehill

[gstelmack]

You have to choose separately in Durham if you want yard waste removal? Here in Cary it's just part of normal trash removal, so our neighbors would gain nothing by putting stuff in front of our house.

What ticks me off are all the people who put this stuff in the ROAD. It's supposed to be on your property so you don't block cars and emergency vehicles from making it up and down the street. But people still pile the leaves, trees, and bags in the actual street to try and save their precious lawn.

[sterlingice]

I love all of these "do this, but don't do this" type speeches. How do you express displeasure without accusing them: "Some jackass left this tree in my lawn. Now, I don't think it was you, but who do you think did it?" Unless you know your neighbors really well, they're just going to think you're accusing them. Leave it out there a week, if no one takes it, dump it, and if it happens again, then you have a real problem (i.e. let it slide this one time but not again).

SI

[sachmo71]

It's handled. Don't give it another thought.

[rkmsuf]

Don't let em push you around. Someone's gettin a whoopin.

[Buzzbee]

Or if the original sign doesn't work, you might try a slightly humorous, but pointed sign on it like:

"Lost tree, looking for rightful owner"

Or

"City dump or bust"

Or

"I'm lost. Do you know where my owner is?"

Or

"Will work for ornaments"

Okay, that last one probably wouldn't get the point across. I'm sure our creative minds could come up with some signs much better than my pathetic offerings.

[sachmo71]

I like "City Dump or Bust!"

[BishopMVP]

Harvest their organs for straight cash homey.

[Alan T]

Swaggs, I am sorry I left my tree in your yard. :(

[rkmsuf]

He's going out of his tree because of this.

[Anthony]

your wife did enough Chuck. if you feel you must take it one step further - i'll tell you what i would do if i was in a similar situation (if i was in your shoes and what my wife did wasn't enough):

write a letter and put it in all of your neighbors' mailboxes. in the letter i would voice my displeasure, make some comments about the need to respect other people's property and that you don't want to see the neighborhood devolve into a place where people have a lack of regard for other people's houses. also explain you want everyone to be diligent when they see something like this happening because the next time it could happen to them. i would then include in the letter the phone number for your trash removal service so the culprits get the hint that they're being cheap and should pay for their own trash removal. what you want to avoid is face-to-face confrontations which is very unnecessary. yet you do want to stand up for yourself. give them the letter in the wee hours of the nite or morning and that's the end of that.

[CraigSca]

It's funny - if it truly is the neighbor you don't know, and he's not paying for yard waste removal, all he would have to do is knock on your door and ask if he could dispose of his tree in your pile and offer you some $$$ for the aggravation. Being a good neighbor, I'm sure you'd refuse, but the point is - none of this crap would have happened, and you may have met a new neighbor in the process..

BTW - I like what your wife did. It was a good idea and hopefully properly embarasses them into doing the right thing next time.

[Glengoyne]

I love all of these "do this, but don't do this" type speeches. How do you express displeasure without accusing them: "Some jackass left this tree in my lawn. Now, I don't think it was you, but who do you think did it?" Unless you know your neighbors really well, they're just going to think you're accusing them. Leave it out there a week, if no one takes it, dump it, and if it happens again, then you have a real problem (i.e. let it slide this one time but not again).

SI
How about "Hey while I was out of town last weekend, somebody dumped a bunch of stuff in my front yard, including a Christmas Tree. Did you see anything?"

Now if someone punches you in the mouth for that they are squarely the asshole in the situation.

[primelord]

He's going out of his tree because of this.
There is never a symbol and snare when you need one.

[Anthony]

also, to prevent that this doesn't happen again why don't you buy unique garbage bags, like bright yellow or blue or something, other than the traditional black. then perhaps you can call the trash removal service and instruct them not to remove any color other than the ones you specify. something like that. at the very least you don't want to get stuck footing the bill if this becomes a normal habit from the bad neighbor.

[rkmsuf]

Just hire some armed guards while you are at so that you can really be sure.

[Qwikshot]

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tree.

[spleen1015]

I love all of these "do this, but don't do this" type speeches. How do you express displeasure without accusing them: "Some jackass left this tree in my lawn. Now, I don't think it was you, but who do you think did it?" Unless you know your neighbors really well, they're just going to think you're accusing them. Leave it out there a week, if no one takes it, dump it, and if it happens again, then you have a real problem (i.e. let it slide this one time but not again).

SI

The title of the thread is "What would you do?" So all of the "do this, but don't do this" is what he asked for with the thread.

[sterlingice]

There is never a symbol and snare when you need one.
Yeah, but this board always seems to have more than enough idiots with a cowbell icon handy.

SI

[sterlingice]

The title of the thread is "What would you do?" So all of the "do this, but don't do this" is what he asked for with the thread. My point was that it's easier to say "how to say it" in a kindof marketing sort of way than to actually say what you want to say. Glengoyne did a fairly good job of actually addressing the situation with an actual idea.



Lady: We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.
Krusty: So he's proactive, huh?
Lady: Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.
Meyer: Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important?
[backpedaling] Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.
[pause] I'm fired, aren't I?
Myers: Oh, yes.


SI

[Qwikshot]

Yeah, but this board always seems to have more than enough idiots with a cowbell icon handy.

SI
"I have a fever, and the only prescription is more COWBELL!"

I would let it slide this time, but be really vigilant. Our neighber right now lets his dog wander onto our yard and do his business. I wasn't aware of it, but my brother was. I told him if he saw it, he should just nicely ask them to keep him from doing so.

My mom had the same experience recently at her house, one of the neighbors kept letting their dog do their business but not cleaning up after it. She complained about it to my daughter. Minutes later the woman was coming back with her dog, and my mom couldn't find my daughter. There she was outside telling the lady to clean up after her dog. Children, gotta love em...

[sovereignstar]

There is never a symbol and snare when you need one.

http://www.mindspring.com/~boycekb/images/Smilies/RimShot.gif

[Glengoyne]

This tree inciden is fairly minor in scope. One of my friends had some pretty serious neighbor problems a few years back.

There is a cat in the neighborhood walking on cars, and leaving footprints. My buddy has a cat, but it is an indoor cat that never goes outside. My friend's wife answers the door one afternoon, and it is the white trash next door neighbor, and he is drunk. He is also furious that their fucking cat has been walking on his newly washed truck, and he is going to kill the damn thing next time he sees it. He does this while yelling and shoving his finger in the wife's chest. He actually pushed his way into their house, glancing around apparently looking for the cat. The wife gets borderline hysterical, and demads that he leave the house. He does.

Que my friend returning home from work not two minutes later, and entering through the garage to find his wife in shambles. She tells him what the deal is, and then they see the neighbor coming back to their house. He had apparently seen my buddy come home, and wanted to have a "man-to-man". Well my friend says something to the effect of "I'm gonna kick his ass", and walks outside. Now my friend is of fairly average build...his neighbor is wiry, but he is all muscle. Up until this point his most annoying neighbor thing he had done was beat on his pucnhing bag late at night. So my friend's wife does the sensible thing, and calls the police because she is certain her husband is going to need rescuing. By the time she places the 911 call, and gets outside, the neighbor is crawling back to his house bloody and beaten. In my friend's own words "Thank God that sonofabitch was drunk".

[Desnudo]

I think doo-doo in a paper bag lit on fire and left on the porch should keep this problem from recurring. If you're not sure exactly who it was, do it to all your neighbors. Better to be proactive than reactive.

[Swaggs]

Thanks to everyone.

Knocking door-to-door isn't really something I would relish doing, and just by the random sample of reactions in here, I probably will not. Like I said, I am one for picking and choosing battles and this is not one to go overboard on. It just pisses me off that one, someone had the balls to do it without asking, and then two, once they saw the other stuff taken w/o the tree, they left it there. I think I probably will just let it sit there for a few more days (maybe change the sign once or twice, now that I have some ideas :) ), call the homeowners association and ask them to put a reminder w/ phone number for the yard waste disposal service in the next newsletter and then dump it myself.

For the logistical questions, Durham has one of the better pickup systems of the four areas (states) I have lived in. Huge green bin for trash, huge brown bin or paper (enviro friendly) bags for the yard waste, and blue tubs for recycling. The yard service is optional, so I guess some people, including my asshole neighbors, opt out of it.

[Maple Leafs]

also, to prevent that this doesn't happen again why don't you buy unique garbage bags, like bright yellow or blue or something, other than the traditional black. then perhaps you can call the trash removal service and instruct them not to remove any color other than the ones you specify. something like that.
Excellent plan. Because that way, they could still put the garbage on your property and be rid of it, but now it wouldn't get picked up at all and would sit and rot on your lawn. BRILLIANT!

[Flasch186]

i wouldve put it int he middle of the cul-de-sac with the sign so all cars had to drive circles around it.

[Anthony]

well, logically if i saw my neighbor had 5 yellow garbage bags on his front lawn and i have 2 black ones, not gonna be really easy to sneak those w/ his trash. if it got to the point where i had to confront the prick neighbor and i saw the black bags on my lawn matched the black bags he used i'd have a better case. it was an idea, better than all the jokesters in here with their bad posts.

also, this might be icky, but Chuck did you consider opening some of the trash and trying to see if you could frind an address? if the person is prick enough to dump his trash on someone else' property he's probably not the type to follow recycling laws and probably threw away something of his in their that can be used against him.

[rkmsuf]

well, logically if i saw my neighbor had 5 yellow garbage bags on his front lawn and i have 2 black ones, not gonna be really easy to sneak those w/ his trash. if it got to the point where i had to confront the prick neighbor and i saw the black bags on my lawn matched the black bags he used i'd have a better case. it was an idea, better than all the jokesters in here with their bad posts.

also, this might be icky, but Chuck did you consider opening some of the trash and trying to see if you could frind an address? if the person is prick enough to dump his trash on someone else' property he's probably not the type to follow recycling laws and probably threw away something of his in their that can be used against him.

so your plan is to blackmail them with recycling law violation?

you are one creative bastard. let's see csi come up with that.

[Desnudo]

I think the true lesson here is: never live on a cul de sac.

[Swaggs]

The bags were just of leaves and were taken last week. You have to pay for the trash service, but not the lawn service, so I assume they were too cheap to pay for it and decided to use ours instead of paying.

[Buzzbee]

The bags were just of leaves and were taken last week. You have to pay for the trash service, but not the lawn service, so I assume they were too cheap to pay for it and decided to use ours instead of paying.

Hmmm...they must be Dookies.

[BigJohn&TheLions]

What would the Toyota Tacoma guy do?

[Ragone]

I would have thrown the tree in the middle of the cul de sac.. :)

In Kc, you cannot throw away lawn waste at all.. and not only that.. every family is limited to 2 trash bags a week.. now, living alone.. i generate a bag and a half of trash on average per week.. whats a family of 4+ gonna do with this?

You can buy "STICKERS" to put on your extra trash bags.. at the cost of 2 bucks a bag(i believe).. i find that totally insane.. i already spend upwards of 5k a year on the kc tax that covers snow removal(ha) and trash pickup(haha)

ah well, threadjack rant done

[Radii]

I would have thrown the tree in the middle of the cul de sac.. :)

In Kc, you cannot throw away lawn waste at all.. and not only that.. every family is limited to 2 trash bags a week.. now, living alone.. i generate a bag and a half of trash on average per week.. whats a family of 4+ gonna do with this?

You can buy "STICKERS" to put on your extra trash bags.. at the cost of 2 bucks a bag(i believe).. i find that totally insane.. i already spend upwards of 5k a year on the kc tax that covers snow removal(ha) and trash pickup(haha)

ah well, threadjack rant done

At our new place we have to buy these ugly big purple bags for our trash. $22 for a pack of 20 I think? I forget how many comein a bag but its not enough to make that a non-insane amount.

The bags appear to hold 2 normal sized kitchen trash bags full, plus a run or two through the house emptying the bathroom/office trash, plus 1 or 2 littlerbox scoops.

We will easily go through 3 bags a week just for our normal trash, not to mention any yard stuff, boxes, or anything else that would not fit easily in these bags. On busy weeks or weeks where extra cleaning is done or extra trash is generated for any reason, I can easily see us using 5 or 6 in a week.

[Radii]

Hmmm...they must be Dookies.

I agree. this would never be a problem if you lived in Chapel Hill. :D

[Kodos]

The bags were just of leaves and were taken last week. You have to pay for the trash service, but not the lawn service, so I assume they were too cheap to pay for it and decided to use ours instead of paying.

Can you identify the tree that they came from? Perhaps you should call a tree surgeon.

[DanGarion]

I''d go door to door with a shotgun on my shoulder and shoot them untill someone fesses up. But then I live in The O.C., that's how we do things here...

[Qwikshot]

Can you identify the tree that they came from? Perhaps you should call a tree surgeon.
A new episode on C.S.I. is about this, I swear.

[DanGarion]

A new episode on C.S.I. is about this, I swear.
Well there are like 17 CSI shows on TV, I would hope one of them had or was going to cover this...

[miked]

What would Jeebus do?

[BigJohn&TheLions]

What would Jeebus do?

...for a Klondike Bar?

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=64&style=b&color=2%3A+CHOOSE+COLOR&size=3%3A+CHOOSE+A+SIZE

[JeeberD]

What would Jeebus do?


I probably wouldn't say anything... :(

[Bad-example]

I have a neighbor that used his foot to crush the life out of my cat. Well, it was either him or one of his demon spawn.

We also suspect he is pissing into our garage through the vent.

[sterlingice]

I would have thrown the tree in the middle of the cul de sac.. :)

In Kc, you cannot throw away lawn waste at all.. and not only that.. every family is limited to 2 trash bags a week.. now, living alone.. i generate a bag and a half of trash on average per week.. whats a family of 4+ gonna do with this?

You can buy "STICKERS" to put on your extra trash bags.. at the cost of 2 bucks a bag(i believe).. i find that totally insane.. i already spend upwards of 5k a year on the kc tax that covers snow removal(ha) and trash pickup(haha)

ah well, threadjack rant done
Try recycling a little. My girlfriend and I barely generate a bag of trash a week between the two of us once you take out things that are easily recyclable (newspaper, cans, plastic bags, bottles, etc)

SI

[Ragone]

its okay si.. i just bought the biggest trash bags ever made.. i'll show them :)

i do recycle.. but not this week.. its my goal to put out 2 40 pound bags of trash

[sterlingice]

its okay si.. i just bought the biggest trash bags ever made.. i'll show them :)

i do recycle.. but not this week.. its my goal to put out 2 40 pound bags of trash
Hehe. Go buy a ream of paper just to crumple up the sheets and stick them in the bags :D

That's one thing about Lawrence. I don't think there's curbside recycling (not that it matters, living in an apartment and all) but down on the south end of town behind the Wal Mart, there's a giant recycling center that will take practically anything so that's why we rarely have much waste.

SI