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View Full Version : Pathetic or Brave E-mail?


Blackadar
03-02-2005, 06:00 AM
Picked this up from ConsoleGold - brave or pathetic?

Greetings Future Lawyers! My name is *excised*, and I am a 1L in section 1. To cut to the chase, this email is a school wide broadcast about something I
know is on all of our minds, and something that is especially close to my heart. Any guesses? That's right, its the Barrister's Ball. I apologize up front
for my candor, and I know the ball is not coming up immediately, but I am never one to leave anything to chance, and the bottom line is, I need a date. What exactly is a Barrister? (see generally www.dictionary.com where it says a barrister is counsel admitted to plead at the bar and undertake the
public trial of causes in an English superior court; compare to a solicitor).

That is exactly what I am doing, I am soliciting. Symbolic? Perhaps.
Poignant? Definitely. I know that traditionally men invite women to dances, but in our everly progressive, post-modern society, I think that if a woman wants something, she should go get it.

I am including a picture of myself, and I am sure alot of you will recognize me from school. I tend to hang around the faculty offices, but I am up and down
the halls alot. click to see my picture

*removed*
*if you want to see the pic (it's SFW): hxxp://www.consolegold.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=5088

After looking at my picture I am sure I have some takers immediately, and while my looks are sufficient to base a decision on, I would prefer to have a guy ask me because of who I am. I have a big heart, and an open mind. I love poetry, sappy movies, theater, 4 leaf clovers, massages, and romantic dinners. I also have my wild side though. My parents have a new dodge
caravan that they let me take out on the weekends, and me and my crew really dominate the downtown area with it.

I like hitting the ball too hard at the miniature golf course, I don't wait 30 minutes after eating to swim, and I am not scared of a little unplanned hand
holding. I am looking for a guy who is not scared of a woman like me, but who looks forward to a spring evening of spontaneity.

I am going to wear a strapless (calm down guys, I will either wear band-aids
or pasties underneath) dress to the dance that will be short, but long enough to cover my slip. Closed towed shoes? You betcha...I didnt watch Mtv's Wade Robson Project for nothing! I mentioned the minivan earlier, and my dad already said I could have it for the dance. It is an '05 model and it has the leather package, and the dvd player in it, so if the dance is lame we
can watch the English Patient or something.

I know I sent this email to the entire school, and I have 2 points I would like to make about that.

1. I would be lying if I did not already have a short list of people I would like to go with, and I would feel ashamed if I did not give them all shout outs in
this email.

a) to the man that used to write the diary of a first you student who was de-throned in an administrative coupe' d'tat: I like your style, and I like your
moves. We need to meet.

b) to the 2L who is drives the maroon durango with the texas a&m sticker on it: Your skater style is appreciated by the ladies

c) to the recently clean shaven 1L who knows how to have fun at sba socials, and really doesnt mind a night in the pokey: you had me at "mortar forker"

d) to the supreme court bound 1L texas longhorn, who is not afraid to put half a can of copenhagen is his mouth during class, and sure is not afraid of some obnoxious eagles fan: keep ME on your short list

e) to the man that drives the hummer, and the man that rides the grey motorcycle with the flame paint job: can we talk about the possibility of you both going with me at once?

2. I know alot of girls got this email, so if you all know anyone that might like to go with me, feel free to pass the word along. I gone to alot of dances
alone, and I am not going to let that happen this time. Carpe Diem!

Guys, we are all in this togethers, so feel free to email me back with questions, comments, suggestions or viruses. - *name excised*

Blackadar
03-02-2005, 06:15 AM
Post is worthless without pics. The board in the link has removed the pic also.

Scroll down in that thread for the pic...it's towards the bottom of the thread.

HomerJSimpson
03-02-2005, 06:16 AM
Post is worthless without pics. The board in the link has removed the pic also.

Draft Dodger
03-02-2005, 06:16 AM
I go for choice e) someone else got access to her email and sent this out

Draft Dodger
03-02-2005, 06:17 AM
Post is worthless without pics. The board in the link has removed the pic also.

keep scrolling, it's there

KWhit
03-02-2005, 08:46 AM
Is it wrong that opinion did a complete 180 once I realised it was a chick?

Guy does it - utterly pathetic.

Chick does it - brave and I'd hit it.

Maple Leafs
03-02-2005, 09:06 AM
Take a look at her pic. She's really the worst possible type of girl to be sending this out.

If she was hot, you'd think "perfect, she's hot, great e-mail!"

If she was ugly, you'd think "aw, poor thing can't get a date, but she seems to have a sense of humor about it, I hope it works out for her".

But she's in that "nothing really wrong with her, but nothing special" middle ground that just makes the whole thing creepy. Not attractive enough to make you want to go out with her, but just attractive enough that the fact that she can't get a date makes you think she probably has some issues.

CraigSca
03-02-2005, 09:15 AM
Her face is too "in your face". Combine that with her personality, and I think she's a legit whack job.

Ksyrup
03-02-2005, 09:23 AM
The email suggests that she has issues. The face suggests it wouldn't be worth it to deal with those issues.

rkmsuf
03-02-2005, 09:23 AM
She has potential to be the most annoying person on the planet.

She's probably as much fun to hang out with as eating glass.

MIJB#19
03-02-2005, 09:25 AM
Edit: On further review it looks indeed like someone stole her email password.

gottimd
03-02-2005, 09:27 AM
Her face is too "in your face". Combine that with her personality, and I think she's a legit whack job.

No this is a legit whack job (http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2675&p=2) .

KWhit
03-02-2005, 09:32 AM
Wow.

CraigSca
03-02-2005, 09:35 AM
No this is a legit whack job (http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2675&p=2) .
Yikes. Safe to say that didn't come from my "notes from high school" file.

HomerJSimpson
03-02-2005, 09:40 AM
I'd take it to a ball. I have a low-bar.

HomerJSimpson
03-02-2005, 09:42 AM
Actually, I'd probably agree to take it and she would turn me down. I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

sterlingice
03-02-2005, 12:20 PM
The pic is 100% necessary for the full evaluation of the post.
I was feeling we had a kindred spirit we should invite over here until I saw who made this ;)

SI

Joe
03-02-2005, 12:30 PM
i hit it

Fritz
03-02-2005, 01:51 PM
nice rack though. the kind of tits that your mind off her mouth

Fritz
03-02-2005, 01:51 PM
as the poster after pic said "That being said, she has a large mouth and her ear looks like an elf's ear, but hey! No one's perfect."

Franklinnoble
03-02-2005, 01:57 PM
Not that hard to post the image here, folks.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/whiteboyskim/DSC00398.jpg

rkmsuf
03-02-2005, 02:05 PM
Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

Ryno
03-02-2005, 02:16 PM
I'll cast a write-in vote of: scary, and maybe (with beer goggles)

Noop
03-02-2005, 02:18 PM
She has crabs.

Maple Leafs
03-02-2005, 02:24 PM
Well, let's go down the annoying woman checklist:

After looking at my picture I am sure I have some takers immediatelyThinks she's hot, but she's not... check.

I am looking for a guy who is not scared of a woman like meMistakingly thinks she's dangerous and intriguing... check.

... if I did not give them all shout outs .. White girl who thinks it's cool to talk like she's black... check.

Your skater style is appreciated by the ladies Says she wants a respectable guy, but is more attracted to guys who look like a bum... check.

Sounds like a winner!

Desnudo
03-02-2005, 02:25 PM
Well, let's go down the annoying woman checklist:

Thinks she's hot, but she's not... check.

Mistakingly thinks she's dangerous and intriguing... check.

White girl who thinks it's cool to talk like she's black... check.

Says she wants a respectable guy, but is more attracted to guys who look like a bum... check.

Sounds like a winner!

You forgot:

Unnecessary and gratuitious use of the never-was fashionable straw cowboy hat check.