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View Full Version : Funniest Threat And/Or Insult

duckman
03-23-2005, 01:48 PM
To help keep my mind off stuff.....

What are some of the funniest threats/insults you've heard?

The best one I've heard so far is when my forner roommate in the Air Force told someone at a bar:

"You're only alive right now because there is a law against homicide in this country."
hhiipp
03-23-2005, 03:37 PM
You are the wad that your mom should have swallowed.
QuikSand
03-23-2005, 04:15 PM
I don't think I can quote it precisely... but something like:

"The only thing keeping you alive right now is geography."


Good stuff for a message board.
Buzzbee
03-23-2005, 04:20 PM
OT: I just noticed that QS is not too far from hitting 10,000 posts. For the second time.
Greyroofoo
03-23-2005, 04:23 PM
"Your hair is nice, but does the carpet match the drapes?"

"Madam, I may be drunk but tomorrow you will still be ugly", Winston Churchhill
Maple Leafs
03-23-2005, 04:34 PM
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Buzzbee
03-23-2005, 04:49 PM
"Your hair is nice, but does the carpet match the drapes?"

"Madam, I may be drunk but tomorrow you will still be ugly", Winston Churchhill
I think it was more along the lines of:

Madam, I may be drunk, yet tomorrow I'll be sober but you will still be ugly.
Bubba Wheels
03-23-2005, 04:49 PM
"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to tear your head off and s#@% down your neck! Know why? Cause I'm from Detroit, and that's how we do it in Detroit!" Overheard outside of a bar in Tulsa, Ok some years ago.
ShovelMonkey
03-23-2005, 04:55 PM
"I hope all you kids are born barenaked."
zums
03-23-2005, 05:39 PM
"you're worth about as much as a piss-infected cum bubble"


paraphrased from my basketball coach after this kid repeatedly messed up the offense:

"if i were to take ur brain, wring it out and use the juices for fuel... there wouldnt be enough to get a piss-ant lil scooter around the inside track of a cheerio!!"

same coach at halftime of a game w/ only a 5-pt lead against a bad bad bad team:

"*sigh*..... god guys.... *sigh*... thats enough to piss off the easter bunny.."


-zums
SirFozzie
03-23-2005, 06:00 PM
That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

(heard about one of my yuppie coworkers)..

That guys big-time alright, all dollars, no sense!
Loki
03-23-2005, 06:03 PM
After my friend just got beat in Mario Kart by his 6-year old.....


"Why do you hate this game, daddy?"

:)
Loki
03-23-2005, 06:04 PM
Priceless smak