Work Related Rant

[Eaglesfan27]

I'm probably cranky because I've been up essentially all night on call and will be up for 6-8 hours more, but I'm just so angry at this last parent that I need to share/vent and I think I can do so without revealing any confidential information or committing any ethic violations.

It's been a rough month for me professionally in that earlier in the month I was called into a case to consult on one of the most horrific physical abuse cases I've ever seen. I don't wish to spread any of the mental imagery that has been haunting my thoughts for the past two weeks, but it was truly gruesome.

However, this upset me even more. I went into a room to see a 17 year old girl who cut her wrist (requiring suturing by an ER doctor) and her father. I asked what I can do for you and your daughter and he responded "Get me a bullet and a gun so I can shoot her. She isn't really suicidal, she is a fucking drama queen. She just wants attention. If you admit her into the hospital, you are going to be accepting the most destructive force since the fucking Bush administration. If you are going to admit her, do it quick because I have to be at court by 8:30 or I will have a bench warrant for my arrest. I don't want anything to do with this C#$! ever again. I'm not going to take her back, she is on her fucking own. I'm not going to pay one damn bit of her hospital bill."

At this point, I told him to leave the room. I'm used to parents ranting and raving at me. Usually, because they want me to put their kid in the hospital to give them a break, and I don't think their kid needs to be in the hospital. This was one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard in a while. Mind you, he said all of this in front of his 17 year old daugher and her step-mother (who also seems full of vile.) Sometimes, parents and the things that they do to their own children just fill me with so much sorrow for humanity as a whole.

[JonInMiddleGA]

This was one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard in a while.

I agree. Clearly his politics leave a lot to be desired.



(Yes EF, that's a joke. Not because there's anything funny about the situation you described but an intentionally bad attempt at humor is about the most comfort I can offer you right now. Curiously, my train of thought was already riding along the tracks of the sad phrase "disposable children" when I logged in here a couple of minutes ago, and this sure seems to fit right in. I'm just as about as exasperted with people as you are the morning, but if anybody has a righteous claim on that feeling this morning, it'd be you AFAIC. I hope you are able to find some peace with this sooner rather than later.)

[condors]

damn, i would have slugged the guy before he finished(calling your 17 year old daughter that in her presence, sorry i need to give you a time out)

[hhiipp]

Sounds like the parent is the one that needs to counseling and not the daughter, heh.

[FrogMan]

doc, there's not much I think I can say to make this situation better, and I'm not sure you were looking for that anyway. Hearing/seeing what parents can do to little ones always makes me sick to my stomach, then hearing parents that continue their abuse on kids who, even at 17, are very fragile, it's just, I got no words... people are stupid... :(

You are a good person to be working in a field like this and see the things you see, and yet, give the service people are simply expecting, just because. Keep it up, we need people like you :)

FM

[WSUCougar]

Brutal. Just brutal. I can only echo the positive thoughts stated by FrogMan.

Hang in there.

[judicial clerk]

damn, i would have slugged the guy before he finished(calling your 17 year old daughter that in her presence, sorry i need to give you a time out)

That is why you couldn't do what Eaglesfan27 does. Not that your response is unwarranted.

[heybrad]

I think the Keanu Reeves quote from Parenthood fits this pretty well.

"You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

[wade moore]

hey, brad

[CamEdwards]

maybe you just witnessed the white trash version of tough love?

Yeah, I kind of doubt it too. What a fucktard (pardon my language).

[st.cronin]

I think I would have punched him in the mouth as hard as possible.

[Franklinnoble]

Call CPS and get her the hell out of that situation.

[Flasch186]

Obviously EF you have to give this girl an unbelievably steep dose of self - confidence so that she can quickly assume her own life without those 2 fuck ups. I hope she makes it out of this and can someday be unbelievably succesful and then she can say, "I didn't let those two fuckups make me a fuck up."

Tell her I said that...Its up to her to turn the tables and be stronger than them. She can do it...

I mean this with no ill intention, BUT if she is strong enough to act and cut her own skin, then she is certainly strong enough to live and drive her own life!!

Tell her, she rocks.

[Franklinnoble]

Is she hot?

Post pix... and PM me her number.

k, thx.


Fixed.

[JonInMiddleGA]

maybe you just witnessed the white trash version of tough love?

Hmm ... did he mention the racial makeup of the "family" (and I use the term very loosely) involved?

That just happened to catch my eye, thought it was an interesting (albeit possibly subconscious) assumption.

[Flasch186]

Fixed.

not nice ;)

[Franklinnoble]

not nice ;)


Sorry. Couldn't help it. :)

[Eaglesfan27]

Thanks for the responses guys. I appreciated them all, but particularly the ones that made me laugh. After a few hours of sleep, I don't feel quite as emotional and wound-up about this.

As far as this girl, her self-esteem is in the pits, but she has the potential to be pretty (right now she has her hair cut very short, hasn't been bathing much, etc. Essentially, she looked depressed.) She also is very smart and even while depressed, she impressed me with some rather witty and smart remarks she made. This is probably part of what pisses her father off so much, she is clearly smarter than him. In any case, I tried to boost her self-confidence a bit and I admitted her into the hospital.

Remember my job debate earlier from a different thread. Well, I'm glad I decided to stay with the state facility job (Job A.) Being a state hospital, they will probably keep her in the hospital for 2-3 weeks. We have 4 New Orleans Certified Teachers and classrooms in the hospital, so she won't miss too much school work while she is here, and she will get more than just a few days help. Hopefully, it will be enough to overcome this challenge of a family she was born into.

[Desnudo]

Is there any action you can take to get her away from her parents?

[Lathum]

I was wondering where the mother is? That and when will she ne 18 and be able to go off to college on her own.

[Eaglesfan27]

Is there any action you can take to get her away from her parents?
I filled a report with OCS (Office of Community Services - they investigate allegations of child abuse.)

However, OCS in this state is messed up like many other states. It disgusts me. The severe physical abuse case that I mentioned from the first post is still being investigated! This kid has been in a medical hospital for 2-3 weeks. This kid was clearly severely abused by someone. This kid was found bound in his mother's home. There is strong evidence this abuse happened either by his "mother" or her boyfriend. Yet, OCS is still investigating!?!

I guess my confidence in OCS is very low right now (probably justifiably.) I know the agencies are overwhelmed in many states, but OCS is the one that I'm dealing with right now, and I'm fed up with them. Furthermore, they have always had a bad reputation of not doing much in Emotional Abuse cases. This A-hole hasn't physically or sexually abused the girl (thank god), so I worried that he will still have custody when this is all over.

My best hope for this girl is that she goes back to her mother in California. She says her mom sent her to her Father two years ago, because she was being sexually promiscious. She says that she is past that phase, and wouldn't sleep around excessively if her mom would just take her out of this "hell hole." Hopefully, that will work out.

[Eaglesfan27]

I was wondering where the mother is? That and when will she ne 18 and be able to go off to college on her own.

She comes from a fairly poor family, and she hasn't done as well as I think her intelligence level would indicate she should do (not surprising with a bad home life.) So, she will need to get lucky and get some good scholarships, or take out loans, but I hope she does go to college.

Her plan is to become a bartender/stripper as soon as she turns 18, so she can afford her own place :(