Bully Mag's - 10 Worst Cities in America

[Crapshoot]

http://www.bullymag.com/11.18.03/cities-111803.asp

Admittedly a totally subjective perspective - and biases to genuine big cities (ergo, no Nashville's) - but an amusing list.

[Honolulu_Blue]

http://www.bullymag.com/11.18.03/cities-111803.asp

Admittedly a totally subjective perspective - and biases to genuine big cities (ergo, no Nashville's) - but an amusing list.
Well, he does have Toledo on there...

I am pretty surprised that neither Houston, or my home town of Detroit, didn't make the list.

[sovereignstar]

"2. Phoenix
Only an idiot would want to spend most of the year trapped in air conditioning. Such an idiot usually moves to Phoenix. Then this dope will say, "Yeah but it's a dry heat." To make matters worse there is absolutely nothing to do in Phoenix besides run from your car's air conditioning to your house's air conditioning. Or you can play golf. Otherwise, they should tear the whole metropolis down and let it just rot back into the desert."

Classy. Sounds like me.

[QuikSand]

I'm no serious fan of the Ohio cities, but including all three of them at the expense of Detroit suggests a serious misjudgment. There's nothing to like about Toledo, but there are far fewer things to hate about it than Detroit.

[gottimd]

Atlanta is one of the better cities I have been too. I love that place. I have been trying to move down there for a few years now.

[st.cronin]

I don't know how Milwaukee gets left off this list.

[Franklinnoble]

Phoenix isn't that bad at all. I'd rather live there than San Francisco, Sacramento, Washington D.C., or Baltimore (and I'm only listing cities that I actually know what it's like to live in).

[TLK]

Looks like someone needed an article and pumped this out real quick....

[Ksyrup]

I'm no serious fan of the Ohio cities, but including all three of them at the expense of Detroit suggests a serious misjudgment. There's nothing to like about Toledo, but there are far fewer things to hate about it than Detroit.
Nah, I think that article is right on, frankly. That said, I'm shocked Detroit is not also on the list, but Toledo is a craphole.

[Franklinnoble]

Tucson is a true craphole, and I'm curious how it managed to avoid this list.

[QuikSand]

Nah, I think that article is right on, frankly. That said, I'm shocked Detroit is not also on the list, but Toledo is a craphole.

You're right, I'm acting like an idiot whiner. It take it back. I just want about sixty cities on the Top Ten list.

[Ben E Lou]

Did you ever meet someone who went to New York City and said, "I didn't like it, it was too dirty and oh my God there were all these weirdoes." Usually in the next sentence they'll say, "But I really like Hotlanta, it's so cool down there." That's because Atlanta is the city of choice for suburbanites who don't really like citiesAnd this is a bad thing because......????? ;)

[MikeVick7]

You're right, I'm acting like an idiot whiner. It take it back. I just want about sixty cities on the Top Ten list.
Tension?

[QuikSand]

Tension?

No, I'm serious.

[ISiddiqui]

And this is a bad thing because......????? ;)
My thoughts exactly ;). I guess being a native Jerseyite, I enjoy the suburbs over the big city. That's kind of why I like Atlanta. Kind of like New Jersey, but without the beach, and with far better weather (yes, I've been here for the summers... I like heat), and lower cost of living.

[Ksyrup]

You're right, I'm acting like an idiot whiner. It take it back. I just want about sixty cities on the Top Ten list.

Your words, not mine. To be honest, I'm from Michigan, so seeing 3 Ohio cities on this list made my day. :)

[Desnudo]

I always thought Hotlanta was one of the worst, and dumbest, nicknames for a city.

[Desnudo]

I'm no serious fan of the Ohio cities, but including all three of them at the expense of Detroit suggests a serious misjudgment. There's nothing to like about Toledo, but there are far fewer things to hate about it than Detroit.

I heard Billy Joel's favorite city is Toledo.

[lurker]

Your words, not mine. To be honest, I'm from Michigan, so seeing 3 Ohio cities on this list made my day. :)

I agree, but they forgot Columbus.

Actually I was pleasantly surprised that Detroit wasn't on the list. It's not even a bad city anymore, really, but it's always in lists like this.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I agree, but they forgot Columbus.

Actually I was pleasantly surprised that Detroit wasn't on the list. It's not even a bad city anymore, really, but it's always in lists like this.
Hmm... It may longer be a "bad" city, but it certainly isn't a "good" one. At least wasn't when I was back home in Dec/Jan.

[Ksyrup]

It's all relative. Maybe they cut Detroit some slack because they saw some slight improvement. Like, only 6 murders a weekend instead of 8.

[lurker]

Hmm... It may longer be a "bad" city, but it certainly isn't a "good" one. At least wasn't when I was back home in Dec/Jan.

Well, I didn't say it was a "good" one.

[tanglewood]

This was my cheat sheet for an IWS question a while ago.

I believe that no-one else chose Cleveland. :mad:

[dixieflatline]

Gary Indana

[Desnudo]

You could expand that to anywhere in-between Chicago and Pittsburgh.

[stevew]

Wow, lookie there. Cut and paste still works


10. Seattle
Seattle would seem to have everything going for it. Great music, good restaurants, a beautiful landscape, a range of ethnic cultures, and centralized collection of hi-tech businesses that attract brainy folks from places like San Francisco (ever since that city hit the economic slide). So what makes Seattle one of the ten worst cities to live in? Well it's those same techies who fled San Francisco to seek Seattle's venture-capital rich environment, usually after watching the movie Singles, who have turned this once humble and artistic community into a plague of cellphone sporting, PDA carrying idiots who fly around the streets in their Volkswagens while listening to the Flaming Lips. You know that annoying jackass who walks around in the cellphone commercials saying, "Can you hear me now?" He's the official mascot for Seattle. About the only consolation to all this is that Seattle still has one of the highest suicide rates in the nation.


9. Toledo
The first of the Ohio Triplets on our list, Toledo would be the perfect place to re-make The Omega Man. This mostly due to the fact that this Midwestern hole is so bleak, so gray, so devoid of life, that except for rush hour, you wouldn't know that anyone actually lived in Toledo. Forget civic pride, everyone in Toledo knows the city is a hellhole and just stays home to watch TV. Last time we visited, the only after hours joint was located in a hotel for men. Toledo's official city slogan should be "Toledo…We're…well…ah screw it."



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"What can we say about Miami except that it brings out the worst cheesy tendencies in people of all races, creeds, and colors."



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8. Los Angeles
If you look at some of the most talented people to ever walk the planet that ended up destroying themselves - Hemingway, Bruce, Belushi, Morrison, Fitzgerald, Faulkner, Welles, and yes even Osbourne - all have one thing in common. LA.


7. Salt Lake City
This one should be obvious to any intelligent human: Mormons and lots of them. Need we say more?


6. Cincinnati
If you took Chicago, sucked out every last ounce of culture including its thriving music scenes and quality restaurants and bars, leaving a graying hulk of skyscrapers and a complete lack of night life, then you would have Cincinnati. To some Cincinnati is the greatest city in the U.S. - usually these folks are old, white, Christian fundamentalists, confined to wheelchairs, and are very scared of "coloreds." If you are not this type of person and you live in Cincinnati and like it, you have mental problems and should seek professional help.


5. St. Louis
The "Gateway to the West" has three strikes against it. First is that St. Louis has the highest crime rate of any U.S. city. Second, the main architectural landmark looks like an unfinished McDonald's logo. Third, Bob Costas lives there.


4. Atlanta
Any place nicknamed "Hotlanta" has to suck big time. Here's the catch: Did you ever meet someone who went to New York City and said, "I didn't like it, it was too dirty and oh my God there were all these weirdoes." Usually in the next sentence they'll say, "But I really like Hotlanta, it's so cool down there." That's because Atlanta is the city of choice for suburbanites who don't really like cities. Hence Atlanta has turned into nothing more than an over-sprawled suburb, just with more bad bars.


3. Miami
What can we say about Miami except that it brings out the worst cheesy tendencies in people of all races, creeds, and colors. If you want to see blacks, whites, and latinos at their intellectual lowest, than Miami is just for you. Gaudy neon, bad dance clubs, dopey fashionistas, y'all come back now ya hear!


2. Phoenix
Only an idiot would want to spend most of the year trapped in air conditioning. Such an idiot usually moves to Phoenix. Then this dope will say, "Yeah but it's a dry heat." To make matters worse there is absolutely nothing to do in Phoenix besides run from your car's air conditioning to your house's air conditioning. Or you can play golf. Otherwise, they should tear the whole metropolis down and let it just rot back into the desert.


1. Cleveland
The obvious choice for worst city to live in is Cleveland. Not so much because of the lack of culture. Nor is it the lack of a thriving night life. And it is not the constant economic pall that looms over the city. What really makes Cleveland the worst city in all of America is the fact that it shares many of these qualities with other cities - such as its Ohio Twin, Toledo - and refuses to acknowledge it. As a recent article in the Washington Post pointed out, Cleveland peaked in the 1930s and has been on the downslide ever since. To make matters worse, the Plain Dealer - the local city newspaper - found that the higher a young person's education degree, the more likely said person was to move out of Cleveland. In fact it was one of the only three major metropolitan areas in the 1990s to experience such a mass exodus of intelligence. In essence, smart people leave Cleveland while the dumb stay to crank out children and watch the Indians games. Now if you said this to the average Clevelandite, they would call you an a-hole, pound their fist on the table, and insist that Cleveland has just as much to offer as New York City or Chicago. It's almost as if the citizens have become desensitized to the obvious. At least the Toledoans have a clue, but Clevelandites like their city just the way it is and they're damn proud of it…with the closed steel mills, and bad wing joints, and those horrible blues bands that all play a terrible rendition of "Mustang Sally."

[DeToxRox]

Ohio with an impressive showing!

[lynchjm24]

I've been to every city on the list. Miami and LA do rot. I like Phoenix a lot, and I always enjoying going to Cleveland.

Any top 10 list that doesn't include Detroit should just be totally ignored though.

[BigJohn&TheLions]

And this is a bad thing because......????? ;)
How much you payin' for petrol to just sit in traffic jams down dere in Hotlanta?

[Desnudo]

My car gets 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene, so not much.

[Schmidty]

Boy, did this guy ever get Seattle right. Except he should have just said 10. The Entire Puget Sound Area. This place is AWFUL.

[Schmidty]

Dola. That really was a shitty article though.

[ice4277]

I think Toledo is MUCH worse than Cleveland. Truly a shithole dump that nobody in their right mind would want to live in. Amazed Detroit didn't make it though, and I like Phoenix and Atlanta.

[DeToxRox]

I expected to see Detroit #1.

The city is a shithole. It has a few good areas (Greektown, downtown with Copa/Ford Field) etc, but it's so bad besides that. The mayor is a joke who has had so much controversy following him its amazing he isn't that well known Nationally. If he gets caught on some of this stuff, Marion Berry will look like a Godsend.

[dawgfan]

Boy, did this guy ever get Seattle right. Except he should have just said 10. The Entire Puget Sound Area. This place is AWFUL.

Waaaaaaah...don't let the door hit your ass on the way out of town.

[SplitPersonality1]

I don't know how Milwaukee gets left off this list.
???

Milwaukee in the top 10? I don't think so.

[ice4277]

I expected to see Detroit #1.

The city is a shithole.
What are you talking about, for only 10 bucks you can score a hooker and some coke in the Cass Corridor ;)

[Bee]

I really like some of those cities. Atlanta, Phoenix, St. Louis and Seattle are some of my favorite cities in the US. They'd all probably all make my top 20 list of places I'd like to live. Guess different strokes for different folks...