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View Full Version : Now this is what I call a drunk


JeeberD
04-06-2005, 03:36 PM
You would have though he would have gotten the point by now. Check out this fella's rap sheet...

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offenders/offenderdetails/default.asp?inmateid=337

vyshka
04-06-2005, 03:40 PM
Looks like he's a late bloomer. Didn't really get going until he was 42.

cartman
04-06-2005, 03:40 PM
This man is a legend on Fark.

Ksyrup
04-06-2005, 03:41 PM
Cut the guy a break...that's over 13 years! :)

sovereignstar
04-06-2005, 03:41 PM
My browser just broke.

Ksyrup
04-06-2005, 03:42 PM
Oh shit, the pics are freakin hilarious!

sovereignstar
04-06-2005, 03:44 PM
OMG they're the same guy! That is great!

cartman
04-06-2005, 03:45 PM
For some reason, this popped into my mind...

Red: Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means.

Parole Board Interviewer: Uh, well, it means you're ready to rejoin society --

Red: -- I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just a made up word, a politician's word, so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really wanna know? Am I sorry for what I did?

Parole Board Interviewer: Well, are you?

Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I wanna talk to him. I wanna try to talk some sense to him -- tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I gotta live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form sonny and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.

sovereignstar
04-06-2005, 03:46 PM
http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E67233.JPG

Hi! I'm the ladies man!!

st.cronin
04-06-2005, 03:49 PM
Anybody else think this guy probably doesn't tip his bartender?

JeeberD
04-06-2005, 03:49 PM
http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG

I think this one is my favorite...

sovereignstar
04-06-2005, 03:51 PM
This guy reminds me a little of Raleigh via Sublime fame.

-----
Sublime
»
Raleigh Soliloquy Pt. II


[Raleigh:] You went for line drawings and you fucked up you fuckin' idiot.

You brain-washed yourself you mother fuckin' stupid cock suckers, because

you never studied your Holy Homework. That's two capital H's there, all

the rest are lower case in any fuckin' case. Supreme Court, you are not

the fucking Supreme Court of anything, except Hell! For the next ten

thousand years you will shovel your shit and eat it, because your on

repeat mother fucker. It just started backwards and you can't do a

fuckin' thing about it. The public are gonna take back every fuckin'

thing that you took away from them you mother fucker.





[Security Guard:] Raleigh.

[Raleigh:] Yes.

[Guard:] This is the deal.

[Raleigh:] Yes, what is the deal?

[Guard:] You either cool it down right now...

[Raleigh:] Or your gonna fuckin die!

[Guard:] ...your outta here.

[Raleigh:] Oh, your gonna put me out? Well I ain't leavin' mother

fucker. Now what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do to this little kid? Eh?

[Guard:] Your gonna go to the psyche ward.

[Raleigh:] Well good, that's where I wanna go.

[Guard:] Yea, your gonna be right there. So you better cool it down. You better cool it down right now, I don't want to hear anything else out of this room or you are gonna go to the psyche ward. This is your last opportunity.

[Raleigh:] Yea, OK, get it. Let's go.

[Guard:] Shut your fuckin' mouth.

[Raleigh:] all right .

[Guard:] And don't make anymore waves in the house. Otherwise you'r going to the psyche ward.

[Raleigh:] Well, thats exactly what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to the psyke ward and so I'm gonna shoot my fuckin' mouth off, so get out of here. Your cutting into my commercial.

[Guard:] You understand?

[Raleigh:] I'm making a fuckin' commercial, I'm a businessman! Get out of here! Your trying to get in on this fuckin' thing, you ain't no star asshole, your just a fuckin' errand boy.

[Guard:] Your the craziest son of a bitch I ever...

[Raleigh:] Exactly...I'm an American!

[Guard:] This is the last warning Raleigh.

[Raleigh:] Good, Shut Up!

[background laughter]

[Guard:] Anymore out of you and your going to the psyche ward.

[Raleigh:] See, you lie. You don't eat your feedback.

[Guard:] You need to understand that, as long as you understand that, that's the rules Raleigh.

[Raleigh:]Whoever comes in this fuckin' room, I'm gonna fuckin' kill em! That's what I gonna do.

[Guard:] Oh are ya? I'm in your room Raleigh.

[Raleigh:] Well you've come in against...this is my room.

[Guard:] I'm in your room, I'm in you room, I'm in your room.

[Raleigh:] Back out, back out, back out. Words don't bother me man, actions do.

[Guard:] Let's do it, go for it dude.

[Raleigh:] Well if you come at me your gonna fuckin' die!

[Guard:] Go for it.

[Raleigh:] I ain't going for nothing, you fuckin' reach for me and I'm gonna take your arm off.

[Guard:] Come on. Come on! [Raleigh:] I ain't comin, you come.

[Guard:] Cool it Raleigh. You understand that? You got it? Either you cool it or your out of here, that's the only choice you have.

[Raleigh:] Try it.

[Guard:] Your gone dude.

[Raleigh:] Who's gonna enforce it? Call the cops mutherfucker! Call the cops.

[Guard:] You got witnesses right now?

[Raleigh:] No witnesses, call the fucking cops! I'll call the fuckin' cops on you, you cocksucker, right now.

[Guard:] Good.

[Raleigh:] 911 - Just like that, and you will never get out of this. [Guard:] Good. Come on.





[Raleigh:] I would like an emergency call please, there's a psychopathic

trying to kill me in my fuckin' room, now get them cops over here to

1-2-3-O-9 Ventura Street please. He is standing in my door, I told him to

get out of here, and he tells me he's gonna put me in the psycho-tank, for

making my production here. Which is a science fiction magazine! And he's

trying to scare me 'cause he thinks he's big, but he's just a big pile of

shit! 'Cause I'll splatter him all over the fuckin' wall. I hope you

record all that. That's a pre-programming for the police department! And

send 'em over here, 'cause I'm about to kill him in two seconds. Now get

'em over here as fast as you can please. I hope your recording this.

JeeberD
04-06-2005, 03:51 PM
Dola-

Or one of these two. It's so hard to choose!

http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E162408.JPG

http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E136590.JPG

Ksyrup
04-06-2005, 03:53 PM
My favorite pic is #59. I wonder how fucked up he was to cause that shot?

sovereignstar
04-06-2005, 03:55 PM
You can find more info on Raleigh here.

hxxp://www.rollietheodoresakers.bravehost.com/

CamEdwards
04-06-2005, 03:56 PM
i think 41 and 43 are my favorites.

Karlifornia
04-06-2005, 03:57 PM
Oh my god. This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. They should name the jail after this guy.....

JeeberD
04-06-2005, 03:59 PM
Helpless in Kentucky

Henry EarlHenry Earl has been arrested 830 times since January 1992. Henry likes to drink. Henry is a fixture in the Lexington Kentucky jail. I don't know Henry's story or why he is so popular. I'm guessing he doesn't have any family that cares anymore and only enough money to buy some cheap alcohol. I'm guessing Henry doesn't want to stop, I have to believe that Lexington Kentucky has some form of residential treatment plan that he could enter at some point if anything to save the city some money. He is an enigma, a web phenomena, been talked about on Jimmy Kimmel Live, written up in a London daily. He seems happy, most of his pictures show him happy. The jail in Kentucky doesn't like that Henry Earl is famous, every time he gets Fark'ed they get a bazillion hits making their server cranky. I'm betting Henry Earl is going to become another Mahir if it is still possible in this time of the Internet to become a net celebrity for being yourself. Henry Earl is a human story waiting to be told. He is homeless and it would seem helpless in Kentucky.

http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:jBvpeMcG_UQJ:blog.pvassar.net/archives/000274.html+%22earl+henry%22+kentucky&hl=en&client=firefox-a

Arrested 830 times?!?!? That's nearly 64 times a year! :eek:

JeeberD
04-06-2005, 04:01 PM
http://henryearl.messedup.net/images/main_01.jpghttp://henryearl.messedup.net/images/main_04.jpg

http://henryearl.messedup.net/about_henry_earl.html

Hammer755
04-06-2005, 04:03 PM
I wondered how long it would take to get from CF over here, Jeebs. :D

VPI97
04-06-2005, 04:04 PM
http://www.fof-ihof.com/upload/VPI97/ripple.jpg

ice4277
04-06-2005, 04:06 PM
Well that just made my day :D

Ksyrup
04-06-2005, 04:06 PM
Henry's Balls

I was driving home from getting something to eat and of course traffic was a pain in the ass. So there I was sitting in gridlock when I noticed a weathered looking man sitting on the sidewalk. Usually you don't many charatcers such as henry at 4 in the afternoon, but there he was. Then after a second look I noticed one of his balls dangling out of his pants through a tear in the crotch

-Kevin Hamilton

JeeberD
04-06-2005, 04:06 PM
I wondered how long it would take to get from CF over here, Jeebs. :D


:o

wheels
04-06-2005, 04:11 PM
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/E159947.1.JPG (http://www.theimagehosting.com)

He looks pretty cogent for having his head held up.

Desnudo
04-06-2005, 04:17 PM
Dola-

Or one of these two. It's so hard to choose!

http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E162408.JPG

Can't go wrong with a turtleneck and blazer.

Ksyrup
04-06-2005, 04:18 PM
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/E159947.1.JPG (http://www.theimagehosting.com/)

He looks pretty cogent for having his head held up.

Weekend at Henry's.

timmynausea
04-06-2005, 04:20 PM
For some reason the pictures remind me of bikerfox. A little less drunk, less black and a whole lot gayer, but funny.

http://www.bikerfox.com/foxphotos2/

wheels
04-06-2005, 04:20 PM
LOL

Weekend at Henry's.

vyshka
04-06-2005, 04:22 PM
He must have one hell of a liver!

Ben E Lou
04-06-2005, 04:33 PM
Didn't we have a thread about this guy a while back? I distinctly remember looking at those different pictures of him and cracking up.

DeToxRox
04-06-2005, 04:44 PM
This guy is the GOD DAMNNNNNNN CHAMP!

Silver Owl
04-06-2005, 05:29 PM
I'll give the guy credit, not one DUI or DWI. At least he is a safe drunk.

tanglewood
04-06-2005, 05:39 PM
Um.. I'm pretty sure he doesn't own a car.

Desnudo
04-06-2005, 05:48 PM
If you can afford underwear that only keeps one of your balls in place, you probably don't own a car.

cthomer5000
04-06-2005, 07:16 PM
Um.. I'm pretty sure he doesn't own a car. Then he deserves come credit for no public indeceny citations either. The man is only interested in drinking.

http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126109.JPG

He seems so disappointed in us here.

BigJohn&TheLions
04-06-2005, 07:42 PM
Looks like he's a late bloomer. Didn't really get going until he was 42.
He is the Anti-Bush!

BigJohn&TheLions
04-06-2005, 07:54 PM
Willie Johnson's not too bad either...

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offenders/offenderdetails/default.asp?inmateid=16408&inmateimage=J169250.JPG

And Thomas Michael Roberts was booked for murder one month after being released on another murder charge!

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offenders/offenderdetails/default.asp?inmateid=87760&inmateimage=R161308.JPG

cthomer5000
04-06-2005, 07:58 PM
Willie Johnson's not too bad either...

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offenders/offenderdetails/default.asp?inmateid=16408&inmateimage=J169250.JPG
He's very versatile, which makes him more valuable to my fantasy team.

Ragone
04-06-2005, 07:59 PM
He's Obviously a Kentucky wildcat fan.. :) they drive anyone to drink

Ragone
04-06-2005, 08:04 PM
Dola, I like picture 59.. i think they let henry take it

DeToxRox
04-06-2005, 08:12 PM
Why can't this guy have his own reality show?

Karlifornia
04-06-2005, 11:02 PM
Why can't this guy have his own reality show?

The Slurreal Life

MikeVic
04-06-2005, 11:14 PM
#57 looks like Morgan Freeman.

Pumpy Tudors
04-07-2005, 12:15 AM
I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze!

http://img178.exs.cx/img178/6821/e1269586xo.jpg

digamma
04-07-2005, 12:29 AM
He got out today, boys. Party in Lexington tonight!

Any doubt he's back in tomorrow? (Though I do note he lasted a full two days back in early January.)

Surtt
04-07-2005, 12:30 AM
He is out on the streets now!

Ksyrup
04-07-2005, 06:51 AM
I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze!

http://img178.exs.cx/img178/6821/e1269586xo.jpg

LOL!

cuervo72
04-07-2005, 07:50 AM
The thread title just SCREAMED "Henry Earl", and doggonit I was right!

cartman
04-07-2005, 08:45 AM
I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze!

http://img178.exs.cx/img178/6821/e1269586xo.jpg


Pumpy,

I think you've found your new PokerStars pic...

:D

Chubby
04-07-2005, 08:54 AM
he's back in jail again lol

sportsfan13
04-07-2005, 09:06 AM
HOLY SHIT! How is this guy still vertical?!?! Actually screw that, how is this guy alive?!?!? :eek:

Gary Gorski
04-07-2005, 09:07 AM
Are they sure this jail isnt located in Mayberry?

Pumpy Tudors
04-07-2005, 09:12 AM
Pumpy,

I think you've found your new PokerStars pic...

:D
I am very, very tempted.

superbama
04-08-2005, 08:59 AM
I like clicking between pitcture 53 and 54 real quick ...back and forth..

Pumpy Tudors
04-08-2005, 10:34 PM
I like clicking between pitcture 53 and 54 real quick ...back and forth..
Like this? (click the thumbnail to see it)

http://img202.exs.cx/img202/2468/henryearl1co.th.gif (http://img202.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img202&image=henryearl1co.gif)

Ragone
04-08-2005, 10:45 PM
Man pumpy.. you need to warn us.. that could send epileptic's into shock :)

lighthousekeeper
04-08-2005, 11:02 PM
Man pumpy.. you need to warn us.. that could send epileptic's into shock :)

Warning: may cause epileptics to feel shocked, awed, and utterly inferior to the greatness of Henry:

http://monkeygumbo.com/wee/news/henryearl/henry.gif

JeeberD
04-09-2005, 09:35 AM
he's back in jail again lol

Released on Thursday and back in on Friday...

temley06
04-11-2005, 12:15 AM
Wow, Roberts got 3 months for murder, guess it is open season in Kentucky.

Balldog
04-13-2005, 10:49 AM
Released yesterday, back in yesterday. Impressive!


hxxp://www.cafepress.com/27dotorg

cartman
04-13-2005, 03:24 PM
You can now add an extension to Firefox that provides real-time info on his jailed status :D

hxxp://www.thepangburns.com/jesse/firefoxExtensions/index.htm

Ksyrup
04-13-2005, 03:34 PM
Now that's friggin funny!

graygoosetwelve
07-29-2006, 11:32 PM
Henry Earl is not detained. He was actually out of jail most of February and March.

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offenders/offenderdetails/default.asp?inmateid=337

Ben E Lou
12-05-2013, 02:02 PM
Most-arrested man to face judge, friends hope for 'Christmas miracle' - CNN.com (http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/04/us/kentucky-henry-earl-most-arrested/index.html?hpt=hp_c4)