View Full Version : How Long are you on the "Throne"?
JeffNights
04-09-2005, 04:47 AM
I been wondering if I am just weird, a couple buddies say it takes them no longer than 5 minutes from start to finish to take a good dump.
To me is abhorrid! 5 minutes? I cant even pick out what section of the paper i want to read in 5 minutes. generally, i'm on the pooper for like maybe a half hour.
how about you?
randal7
04-09-2005, 05:14 AM
Does it take so long because you have to shower after pooping?
Raiders Army
04-09-2005, 05:40 AM
I'm on for 30 minutes. I think I take longer now that I'm married and have kids. Its' (supposedly) the one place where you can get some peace and quiet.
5 minutes usually for me but I know someone who would say goodbye to his family on Saturday morning because he would be on the crapper for a couple of hours.
Don't your legs start going to sleep if you're on for more than 10 minutes?
rlfreeze
04-09-2005, 07:07 AM
As long as it takes for the ride to come to a full and complete stop.
Flasch186
04-09-2005, 07:22 AM
depends on the reading material on hand...this morning 5 minutes as all I had was a re-read of the Home Depot catalog.
Warhammer
04-09-2005, 08:05 AM
All depends on the kids, if I need a break it can go for 30 mins.
I had a good 45 minuter at work the other day.
Easy Mac
04-09-2005, 08:23 AM
Depends on how much work I have, and if I have anything good to read.
ice4277
04-09-2005, 09:26 AM
I usually hit the 15-minute mark, unless I have nothing to read.
ShovelMonkey
04-09-2005, 09:35 AM
Hell, I shit out a masterpiece this morning. That fucker coiled around the bowl twice! I was scared to flush till I broke it up with the toilet brush a little bit.
Oh, how long? 20-30 minutes.
Galaril
04-09-2005, 09:49 AM
I was going to start a thread about this a while ago but didn't want to sound strange glad somebody else did. :p Anyways it usually takes me from 2 minutes to 5 minutes tops. I was told that is agood sign of something I am not sure what.
st.cronin
04-09-2005, 09:53 AM
I was going to start a thread about this a while ago but didn't want to sound strange glad somebody else did. :p Anyways it usually takes me from 2 minutes to 5 minutes tops. I was told that is agood sign of something I am not sure what.
Judging from some other posts, I think it means you don't consider the throne to be a refuge or reading room, but rather a place to focus on goals.
weinstein7
04-09-2005, 10:07 AM
Judging from some other posts, I think it means you don't consider the throne to be a refuge or reading room, but rather a place to focus on goals.
That's me. I don't really like hanging out in the can, I get a little claustrophic in there, so I just open the door, drop the kids off, and I'm outta there.
JeeberD
04-09-2005, 10:21 AM
5-10 minutes. That's where I get all my SI reading done...
Anthony
04-09-2005, 10:22 AM
5-10 minutes. That's where I get all my SI reading done...
me too. SI is my "reading room" material of choice. i spend about 10 minutes in the crapper, as long as it takes for me to read an article.
Anyways it usually takes me from 2 minutes to 5 minutes tops. I was told that is agood sign of something I am not sure what. I think that spending too long having a crap is related to being constipated which can lead to hemorrhoids.
Trust me, you want to avoid 'roids as much as possible! I still haven't gotten over applying the cream . . . :(
On a side note, I was trying to think of another way of saying 'doing a number two' and did a Google search. I found some that were worth sharing:
Faxing a shit to the toilet machine
Giving birth to the black eel
Becoming the porcelain assassin
You can see them all here http://encyclopedia.lockergnome.com/s/b/Toilet_humour#Defecation
st.cronin
04-09-2005, 10:43 AM
I like making coffee
BigJohn&TheLions
04-09-2005, 11:05 AM
Hell, I shit out a masterpiece this morning. That fucker coiled around the bowl twice! I was scared to flush till I broke it up with the toilet brush a little bit.
Oh, how long? 20-30 minutes.Pix Pls.
Logan
04-09-2005, 11:57 AM
This is why I come to FOFC.
Suicane75
04-09-2005, 11:59 AM
I take awhile but thats usualy in the cleanup. I have severe OCD and never feel "fresh", so it's handiwipes out the wazzo with lots of checking and double checking.
Tigercat
04-09-2005, 12:06 PM
I just go in and get the job(on the toliet) done in about a minute. ~40 second evacuation, ~20 seconds of emergency waste cleanup.
paperstreetsoap
04-09-2005, 02:00 PM
however long it takes to take the browns to the superbowl
Cringer
04-09-2005, 04:19 PM
About 20-30 minutes here. I got my nipple twisted when I read the "peace and quiet" comments and laughed. And now the wife is saying it is longer then tht for me...maybe.
Am I the only one who takes my laptop in? :D
Ben E Lou
04-09-2005, 04:22 PM
I just go in and get the job(on the toliet) done in about a minute. ~40 second evacuation, ~20 seconds of emergency waste cleanup.Yeah, I'm pretty quick. I've got more fun things to do than sit there having tiny particles of feces entering my nostrils.
JeeberD
04-09-2005, 04:22 PM
*Test run*
Hitting the pot....nows!
JeeberD
04-09-2005, 04:32 PM
And I'm done.
Edit: Wow, ten minutes. Didn't seem that long...
ShovelMonkey
04-09-2005, 05:47 PM
Pix Pls.
http://www.funfreepages.com/text/images/mrturd.jpg
ShovelMonkey
04-09-2005, 05:48 PM
dola
My signature finally makes sense...
ice4277
04-09-2005, 05:51 PM
http://www.funfreepages.com/text/images/mrturd.jpg
It's a rare Singaporean Double-Tailed Turd
Coffee Warlord
04-09-2005, 06:05 PM
I must be the only turboshitter here.
I sit, shit, wipe, flush, wash, leave. One or two minutes, tops.
Airhog
04-09-2005, 06:05 PM
Yeah, I'm pretty quick. I've got more fun things to do than sit there having tiny particles of feces entering my nostrils.
But you told me you loved it when I gave you a cleveland steamer!
Cringer
04-09-2005, 06:13 PM
I must be the only turboshitter here.
I sit, shit, wipe, flush, wash, leave. One or two minutes, tops.
I take my sweet time at home. On the road I can't because I have little time usually since most the time I have the truck sitting at the fuel island or something like that. So in that case I can be a turboshitter.
FrogMan
04-09-2005, 06:14 PM
I must be the only turboshitter here.
I sit, shit, wipe, flush, wash, leave. One or two minutes, tops.
nope, we're two...
Another thread could be started on the shit topic: how often do you go in a day?
FM
Ben E Lou
04-09-2005, 06:36 PM
nope, we're two...
Another thread could be started on the shit topic: how often do you go in a day?
FMUh, I already mentioned it too. Seriously, how can you people sit there, knowing how your olfactory nerve works?
sterlingice
04-10-2005, 10:41 AM
Uh, I already mentioned it too. Seriously, how can you people sit there, knowing how your olfactory nerve works?
Other than the obvious "wow, this smells like crap" smell to motivate one to get out of the bathroom, what are you referring to?
SI
Ben E Lou
04-10-2005, 10:53 AM
Other than the obvious "wow, this smells like crap" smell to motivate one to get out of the bathroom, what are you referring to?
SIThe fact that when you smell something, it is because tiny particles of it have come through your nose and into your olfactory nerve. If you smell it, then you're inhaling tiny particles of it.
ice4277
04-10-2005, 10:55 AM
I take my sweet time at home. On the road I can't because I have little time usually since most the time I have the truck sitting at the fuel island or something like that. So in that case I can be a turboshitter.
I can't imagine having to constantly go at rest stops or gas stations. I would have the most impacted bowels ever.
Riggins44
04-10-2005, 11:01 AM
I consider myself a "camel-dumper". I go about every 3rd day. So it usually takes me a good 15-25 minutes. It always makes me late for work cause I never know when exactly it will hit.
The fact that when you smell something, it is because tiny particles of it have come through your nose and into your olfactory nerve. If you smell it, then you're inhaling tiny particles of it. Remind me not to fart near you.
AlexB
04-10-2005, 06:09 PM
however long it takes to take the browns to the superbowl
:D
Partly the description, partly the thought of the Browns in the big game!
5-10 minutes. That's where I get all my SI reading done...
Ditto
Chief Rum
04-11-2005, 02:31 AM
And I'm done.
Edit: Wow, ten minutes. Didn't seem that long...
Time stamp bug. You actually took 52 minutes.
Raiders Army
04-11-2005, 07:39 AM
The fact that when you smell something, it is because tiny particles of it have come through your nose and into your olfactory nerve. If you smell it, then you're inhaling tiny particles of it.
I consider this akin to smelling your own farts. Doesn't bother me in the least; in fact, the worse it smells, the more I like it. Now if it were someone else's fart, I'd gag. Weird that way, eh?
Craptacular
04-11-2005, 08:45 PM
5 minutes if I'm in a hurry, 10 on average, 15-20 when I'm reading or in deep thought. We actually have a little three-shelf cart in our master bathroom, filled with the Sunday newspaper, ESPN mags, various catalogues, and golf books, plus the occasional work-related report that I need to read. It's a little rolling library.
Cringer
04-11-2005, 08:49 PM
5 minutes if I'm in a hurry, 10 on average, 15-20 when I'm reading or in deep thought. We actually have a little three-shelf cart in our master bathroom, filled with the Sunday newspaper, ESPN mags, various catalogues, and golf books, plus the occasional work-related report that I need to read. It's a little rolling library.
And you call yourself Craptacular......sad, just sad. A man with a name such as your should be destroying toilets in a single sitting.
Craptacular
04-11-2005, 09:33 PM
And you call yourself Craptacular......sad, just sad. A man with a name such as your should be destroying toilets in a single sitting.
Do I at least get bonus points if I mention that I crap four or five times a day, and usually flush at least twice each time? That's a lot of quality time on the throne!
Cringer
04-11-2005, 09:36 PM
Do I at least get bonus points if I mention that I crap four or five times a day, and usually flush at least twice each time? That's a lot of quality time on the throne!
Ok, you have redeemed yourself.
4-5 times eh? You ever not flush, and just let it build up over a whole day?
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