Berkeley laptop thief is scared out of his wits by professor

[MacroGuru]

Little webcast and such....information can be found here

hxxp://www.boingboing.net/2005/04/20/berkeley_laptop_thie.html

This is the excerpt of what he says in a sense.....


Professor Jasper Rine lectures at UC Berkeley. Recently his laptop was stolen by a thief who was after exam data. Unfortunately for the thief, Professor Rine had some important stuff on that laptop.

The webcast of last Friday's Biology 1A lecture gets very interesting at timecode 48:50. I've transcribed Prof Rine's comments here, so you can see what a world of shit the thief is in:

"Thanks Gary. I have a message for one person in this audience - I'm sorry the rest of you have to sit through this. As you know, my computer was stolen in my last lecture. The thief apparently wanted to betray everybody's trust, and was after the exam.

The thief was smart not to plug the computer into the campus network, but the thief was not smart enough to do three things: he was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows. I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.

The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour, there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer went every time that it was turned on.

I'm not particularly concerned about the computer. But the thief, who thought he was only stealing an exam, is presently - we think - is probably still in possession of three kinds of data, any one of which can send this man, this young boy, actually, to federal prison. Not a good place for a young boy to be.

You are in possession of data from a hundred million dollar trial, sponsored by the NIH, for which I'm a consultant. This involves some of the largest companies on the planet, the NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been notified about this problem.

You are in possession of trade secrets from a Fortune 1000 biotech company, the largest one in the country, which I consult for. The Federal Trade Communication is very interested in this. Federal Marshals are the people who handle that.

You are in possession of proprietary data from a pre-public company planning an IPO. The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this and I don't even know what branch of law enforcement they use.

Your academic career is about to come to an end. You are facing very serious charges, with a probability of very serious time. At this point, there's very little that anybody can do for you. One thing that you can do for yourself is to somehow prove that the integrity of the data which you possess has not been corrupted or copied.

Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid, because I am the only person that can tell whether the data that was on that computer are still on that computer. You will have to find a way of hoping that if you've copied anything that you can prove you only have one copy of whatever was made.

I am tied up all this afternoon; I am out of town all of next week. You have until 11:55 to return the computer, and whatever copies you've made, to my office, because I'm the only hope you've got of staying out of deeper trouble than you or any student I've ever known has ever been in.

I apologise to the rest of you for having to bring up this distasteful matter, but I will point out that we have a partial image of this person, we have two eyewitnesses, with the transponder data we're going to get this person."

[Maple Leafs]

Remind me not to trust that professor with any sensitive data...

[dawgfan]

That's priceless stuff. I wonder if he's bullshitting any of it...

[MacroGuru]

That's priceless stuff. I wonder if he's bullshitting any of it...

I honestly think he is bullshitting most of it....but imagine if it was some dumbass that didn't know a lot about what this professor was talking about.

[Eaglesfan27]

I also think he is selling BS to try to trick the thief. I hope it worked.

[Franklinnoble]

I think he's bullshitting all of it. In fact, I know he is.

The crap about the transponder and about Microsoft detecting the same copy of the OS is pure crap. And I think he's making up the rest, about all the consulting he's doing.

Fact is, even if it were true, the kid could get the data he wants, trash the PC in a campus garbage bin, and no one would ever know.

[Joe]

hes full of shit

[mckerney]

Don't buy it. He probably killed any chance of getting the laptop back though.

[Mr. Wednesday]

I think it's highly likely that there are a number of truthful statements there, although the professor was almost certainly shading a few things.

* If he installed his copy of Windows on another computer, Microsoft would certainly have been curious about it, due to product activation. I don't think this has a whole lot of bearing on getting the computer back, but I think it's a true statement.

* It wouldn't be all that surprising if the professor were telling the truth about what he was working on with the laptop (notwithstanding that he should have been more careful with it). That said, I doubt the law enforcement agencies would actually be all that interested in doing anything unless there were an indication of misuse of the material.

* I'm surprised anyone doubts that the campus computer folks could track (to within a reasonable distance) where the computer has been used on campus. At Notre Dame, we have an on-campus wireless system, and I'm sure they have something similar at Berkeley. You have to authenticate with those systems, so if the laptop has been used, it almost certainly has identified itself to the systems and left a digital trail. Once again, though, I'm not sure how much use this would be for actually finding the perp, since I would expect that they would only be able to localize to which hotspot was being used.

[Marc Vaughan]

That's priceless stuff. I wonder if he's bullshitting any of it...
The windows stuff is bullshit as I very much doubt Microsoft would express an interest in a duplicate being installed beyond preventing the second one from installing ...

As far as the rest, possibly true - but I'd be amazed if a university installed a tracking system into what is I'd guess a maximum of $2-3k's worth of a laptop, especially bearing in mind how quickly they devalue (the $3k laptop of today is worth half that next year if you're lucky).

Still would probably scare the shit out of the thief, only thing I think he's done wrong (unless he's proof of the culprit already) is to indicate the thief is 'male' - if its a girl who stole it then she knows he's bulshitting ..

[Marc Vaughan]

PS> If its got wireless comms then you could track it down to a certain extent via. IP and access, but I doubt the thief has been stupid enough to use it on campus ...

[ThunderingHERD]

This guy severely overplayed his hand. Even if what he says is true (which I'm quite sure it is not) and the thief believed it to be true (which I doubt), you can bet that laptop ended up on the bottom of a lake somewhere.

[Ksyrup]

It never ceases to amaze me what otherwise bright people with potential good career opportunities will do to blow it all.

Sorry for the threadjack, but this story still amazes me to this day...

In law school, we had this 50-something woman in our class, and by all accounts, while she was annoying as hell and not many people liked her, she was undeniably very bright and near the top of our class rankings. She came to law school to start a second career - she had a husband and a teenage son, and I thinnk had worked as a legal secretary for most of her life. First semester, 2nd year, she's working as a research assistant for one of the professors and has access to a room where exams are being kept. I guess the temptation was too much, and she was worried about keeping her lofty ranking, so she stole a copy of one of an exam. Apparently, a secretary near the room she stole it from, saw her or otherwise found out that she had stolen the exam. She reported it to the school, and an investigation was started (none of this was public).

I guess this lady panicked and decided that she needed to get rid of the only witness to her crime, so she solicited a hitman to cut the secretary's break line or do something to the car to make it look like an accident. Now, I'm sure you can find people to do such things - they're obviously out there - but personally, I don't know where I'd start. I don't really keep such company. And I'm betting a 50-year old woman doesn't, either. She ended up talking to an undercover cop, and was eventually arrested. Not only did she ask him to arrange an accident for the secretary, but she also wanted him to do away with her husband while he was at it, since he'd be entitled to half of her earnings once she graduated.

Hard to believe someone could fall so far, so fast.

[ThunderingHERD]

<i>I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers. </i>

Even if true, this is relevant how? How 'bout just throwing the kitchen sink at 'em Doc.

<i>The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour, there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer went every time that it was turned on. </i>

And it never occured to you to, oh, i don't know, send a dude out to the "exact" place the computer was?

<i>the NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been notified about this problem... The Federal Trade Communication is very interested in this. Federal Marshals are the people who handle that... The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this and I don't even know what branch of law enforcement they use.</i>

And is it their standard operating procedure to have the victim smugly lecture the suspects, clueing them in on every means that they have of possibly tracking the culprit down?

<i>Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid...
I'm the only hope you've got of staying out of deeper trouble than you or any student I've ever known has ever been in. </i>

How convenient.

<i>I will point out that we have a partial image of this person, we have two eyewitnesses, with the transponder data we're going to get this person.</i>

So you have two eyewitnesses, a photograph, and "transponder data." You also, ostensibly, know that this person is in the room. So why exactly is this spiel necessary?

Anyway, I feel bad for the Professor, and it was certainly an idiotic move on the part of the student (if it even was a student), but this is a rather transparent plea. If I were in the class, I believe I would feel that my intelligence was being insulted.

[Ksyrup]

Anyone remember the Columbo where the two rich kids kill their professor by using a remote-control device to shoot him with a gun mounted in the hood of one of the rich kid's sooped-up pick-up? I think the professor accused them of stealing a test, too. This might not have been a smart way to get a confession, but at least this guy wasn't dumb enough to bring the two suspects into his office, threaten them with expulsion with no witnesses, tell no one else what he knew, and then get killed.

Frickin' rich kids and their expensive cars...oh wait, that's another thread! :p

[sterlingice]

Sure, the prof overplayed his hand, but it was still pretty funny.

SI

[NoMyths]

Ain't getting anything past FOFC's crack bunch of sleuths. :)

Redfaced Professor Made Up Scare Story (http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=22762)

Full Text:
Redfaced Professor Made Up Scary Story
Laptop thief called his bluff
By Nick Farrell

A BIOLOGY professor who attempted to scare the student who nicked his laptop into giving himself up may have exaggerated his story a tad.
Last week we told how University of California, Berkeley, professor, Jasper Rine tried to put the fear of god into the student who nicked his laptop by claiming it had all sorts of top secret government data on it. He warned that almost every James Bond in the world was hunting that laptop. He also said he knew who the thief was.

Since we ran that story, it has been picked up by ABC News in the States and debated on bog sites across the world.

Most techies consider that anyone could see that the Rine was telling porkies. One of the ways that Rine claimed he identified the tea leaf was by installing the same version of Windows on another computer. If the professor had attempted to use the same key to activate a copy of Windows, the activation servers would have denied him access.

Some of the technobabble that the professor spouted to out the thief was impressive, but has not been found to work well yet.

He claimed that there were passive trackers embedded in the bezel of laptop screens beside the wireless transmitters. Technology like this does sort of exist, but is rare and not used by anyone outside the Department of Energy.

He also claimed that the wireless card in the laptop triggered some location data. This is possible, but pretty unlikely.

In fact a University spokesman told ABC that Rine had indeed made the whole thing up to scare the student into handing over the laptop. The story has for some reason now been pulled from the ABC site, but can be found here. There might be a bit of a clue as to the way Rine operates in an article here, in which he says: "Although I have unlimited respect for facts, and delight in their discovery and appreciation, I have come to the obvious yet almost blasphemous view that, with respect to teaching, the facts just aren't that important."

Despite all the exaggeration, and threats, the thief has ignored Rine and has kept his laptop. Still it was worth a crack.

[Franklinnoble]

Despite all the exaggeration, and threats, the thief has ignored Rine and has kept his laptop.
Good for him. I really wanted the thief to win this round when I read that line of bullshit that guy spouted off.

[Mustang]

Someone steals a laptop...

Yet we are more upset at the Professor for making something up to try to get the computer back?

WTF?

[HomerJSimpson]

Someone steals a laptop...

Yet we are more upset at the Professor for making something up to try to get the computer back?

WTF?


With ya. I was hoping the idiot would fall for it.

[Franklinnoble]

Someone steals a laptop...

Yet we are more upset at the Professor for making something up to try to get the computer back?

WTF?
I'm upset at the fact that a college professor could be so stupid.