Does anyone Know what "The Rules" Are?

[JimmyWint]

So, I was out for a few drinks on Friday night and got to talking to this cute girl and she and her friends kept making refrences to some rules. Like if I was following the rules or not. When I quizzed her on it she said it was some book written by 3 guys. I tried to get her number, but I guess it was against these rules on the first night we met?! I was just wondering if anyone had some insight on these rules. I am planning on meeting her out again this Friday (If she shows since I don't have her number!)
Thanks!
Jim

[vtbub]

Cocky and funny ALWAYS works

[flere-imsaho]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0446602744/qid=1120062248/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-4274887-6088952

[sovereignstar]

You *still* lack closing skills, obviously.

[Mustang]

Wow.. Early impression, stay the fuck away from her.

[st.cronin]

Stay away. She sounds like big trouble.

[Balldog]

Sounds immature to me, sounds like she is into playing games. I would move on, a year ago I would fall for her shit then post here about how much of a dumbass she is.

[Suicane75]

Sounds immature to me, sounds like she is into playing games. I would move on, a year ago I would fall for her shit then post here about how much of a dumbass she is.
Good times.

[JimmyWint]

Maybe I should meet her on Friday and bring a list of *My* Rules! haha

[rkmsuf]

no idea but she sounds uber annoying.

[st.cronin]

Maybe I should meet her on Friday and bring a list of *My* Rules! haha

That might work. At least you would have some self-respect.

[sovereignstar]

http://the-dkbl.com/closer.jpg

[Suicane75]

http://the-dkbl.com/closer.jpg
Thats not MSPaint you cheater.

[sovereignstar]

How the hell do you make a closer in MS Paint?

Edit: Now that you're obviously gonna try, Lee Smith plz k thx

[Suicane75]

http://home.comcast.net/%7Esuicane/Curve.JPG

Thats artistry. And fuck requests, I aint your local drive time DJ.

[oliegirl]

Be afraid of her...she is husband hunting and won't stop until she finds her victim!

It amazes me that women like that still exist...can't think for themselves and have to rely on a book to tell them what to do when it comes to dating. Gives the rest of us a bad name!!!

[cartman]

Be afraid of her...she is husband hunting and won't stop until she finds her victim!

It amazes me that women like that still exist...can't think for themselves and have to rely on a book to tell them what to do when it comes to dating. Gives the rest of us a bad name!!!


Tell Radii thanks for sending me the book with info on how to find a wife...

:p

:D

[JimmyWint]

She did give me the impression that she was wanting to find a keeper...So I told her I was not trying to make out with her or take her home...which was not totally true, but I was pretty drunk by that time

[rkmsuf]

She did give me the impression that she was wanting to find a keeper...So I told her I was not trying to make out with her or take her home...which was not totally true, but I was pretty drunk by that time


(loud buzzer noise)


The correct response would have been to squeeze her boobs and tell her you want to f*ck.

[sterlingice]

Sounds immature to me, sounds like she is into playing games. I would move on...
Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! I'll second or third or whatever this sentiment. Sounds like someone who needs self help books and Oprah to think and that sounds like trouble.

SI

[sterlingice]

(loud buzzer noise)

The correct response would have been to squeeze her boobs and tell her you want to f*ck.
Damn, and that was going to be my second guess as to how he should have proceeded :D

SI

[Lathum]

I'd ask her if you get spanked for breaking the rules

[lurker]

She thinks a book she's read is written by three men when it's two women? Shallow and stupid. A winning combination!

[Kodos]

Run away! Run away!

[Balldog]

Please tell us you did not buy her and/or her friends a drink!?!?!?!

[rkmsuf]

Please tell us you did not buy her and/or her friends a drink!?!?!?!


I'm all in on this being a "yes".

[st.cronin]

I'm all in on this being a "yes".

I'll go all in on 'more than one round.'

[Desnudo]

So, I was out for a few drinks on Friday night and got to talking to this cute girl and she and her friends kept making refrences to some rules. Like if I was following the rules or not. When I quizzed her on it she said it was some book written by 3 guys. I tried to get her number, but I guess it was against these rules on the first night we met?! I was just wondering if anyone had some insight on these rules. I am planning on meeting her out again this Friday (If she shows since I don't have her number!)
Thanks!
Jim

How old is she? I bet she owns the complete Sex in the City DVD set.

[Rockstar]

Next time she mentions "rules" rip off your shirt,slam your shot and yell "OZZY FUCK'N RULES". Then puke right on her purse.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

(loud buzzer noise)


The correct response would have been to squeeze her boobs and tell her you want to f*ck.
This really works. It's how I met Arles. http://dynamic.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[sabotai]

Next time she mentions "rules" rip off your shirt,slam your shot and yell "OZZY FUCK'N RULES". Then puke right on her purse.
I second this suggestion.

[FrogMan]

This really works. It's how I met Arles. http://dynamic.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
and you were the squeezer, or the squeezee? :D

FM

[cuervo72]

FWIW, I think there was a book for written by men for as a retort to these rules. Still not exactly sure what she was getting at though.

[Franklinnoble]

Unban HornsManiac for this thread, stat!

[ISiddiqui]

I second this suggestion.
Thirded... "The Rules" women are bad news, man.

[jbmagic]

be careful

you might find yourself in a bathtub with Ice and a note saying we remove your Kidney. :)

[Surtt]

she said it was some book written by 3 guys.


I though that if any male figured out any of the rules, it was changed.

[sterlingice]

be careful

you might find yourself in a bathtub with Ice and a note saying we remove your Kidney. :)
http://larryhovis.net/venturecompound/screen1/scn001_32.jpg

SI

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

and you were the squeezer, or the squeezee? :D

FM
Squeezee of course :D

[lurker]

Okay, everyone has to look at the positive Amazon reviews for this book. I can't tell if they're hilarious or scary.

Some excerpts from an insane woman's review:


WOMEN WHO RATE THIS LOW SHOULD REPORT THEIR LOVE LIFE STATUS

I was sweet but oh so busy when I talked to him - I was the Prom Queen, I was the most sought-after woman in my city, I had an interesting and fulfilling life.
...
All this letting him become hunter was bringing out the primal instinct in him. I could see his testosterone levels rising, his eyes starting to bulge, his brain-power heading south inch by inch. This was good. This was what we wanted.
...
I was feminine, wore bright colors, talked positive, used my Sweet Voice and never nagged him when he wasn't around - oh? I was so busy I didn't notice.

"We want him in a HEAT" I told my girlfriend.
"We want The Ring!" she corrected me.


Sounds like true love, huh?

[Draft Dodger]

Pix, pls...

and now would be the best time to show 'em

[Suicane75]

and now would be the best time to show 'em
The man makes a great point.

[Rizon]

It is within the Rules to bang her best friend. Or her mom. Or both at the same time.

[Rizon]

NOT SAFE FOR WORK (semi-nude pic in the corner):
hxxp://www.underculture.co.za/articles_right.htm]Meeting Miss Right

[Izulde]

Hahaha I'm finding this whole thing absolutely hilarious and I don't know why. Oh wait, I know why.

High Humidity = Lowered sanity levels

[cartman]

NOT SAFE FOR WORK (semi-nude pic in the corner):
Meeting Miss Right (http://www.underculture.co.za/articles_right.htm)

You might want to hxxp the link, lest you incur the wrath of the Great Banninator.

[Scholes]

hxxp://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=127428

Here's a thread just tearing the book apart in another forum. The book is positively mind-boggling. I can't even do it justice. The comments are pretty funny, though.

[Young Drachma]

This book was huge back when I worked at a bookstore. Really annoying.

[MrBigglesworth]

You might want to hxxp the link, lest you incur the wrath of the Great Banninator.
You may want to hxxp the link in your quote, lest you incur the wrath of the Great Banninator.

[sterlingice]

I remember when this book was first making the rounds (or maybe re-released or something) that anyone who was espousing them sounded just about crazy. Thankfully, I was in high school and I think the girls who were using them would grow out of it. Scary that there are still people out there who think these are a good idea. The review posted is hillarious :D

SI

[JimmyWint]

Okay...a few specifics...She is 29...I did not buy her or her 3 friends any drinks...When she went to the bathroom I asked her friends if I had a fighting chance with her and they all said I had a real good shot...But apparently I was breaking some of these dumb rules so I got no phone number. By the end of the night I was kind of razzing her about the rules too...which could have blown my chance, but I could not help myself...Like a previous poster said I also asked her if she was hooked on Oprah. I am pretty curious to see if she shows up tomorrow night.

[rkmsuf]

Hit eject Jimmy....eject! Eject!

[st.cronin]

I guess she doesn't show. My impression is they were pulling your leg.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

She's 29 and acting 19. Run, don't walk, to your nearest exit.

[Franklinnoble]

Throw the damned towel!

[MrBigglesworth]

At 29, she should just be happy that a guy is hitting on her!

[Franklinnoble]

Remember your training! Save you, it can!

[Suicane75]

She's 29 and acting 19. Run, don't walk, to your nearest exit.
Man, I hope I run into a 24 year old soon.

[Balldog]

So was the girl there or what?

[JimmyWint]

For anyone curious about Friday night...I get to the bar a few minutes after 10 and she is not there. So I was pretty bummed. They have 25oz mugs of beer there for $2.50 though, so I figured I would drown my sorrows.

It just so happens that the Smoking Ban kicked in On that same night as well, so the bar was actually pretty dead when I got there. But the owners wife was in there smoking a cigarette. I did not think anything of it because the way the city set up the law they said that someone has to call and complain and only then they will check out the bar for violaters. So I am enjoying my beer and after about 20 minutes FIVE cops walk in. They walk in find the owners wife and she lights up right in front of them and tells them SHE is the one who called the cops!! She was all lit up too...So the cops wrote her a ticket for Smoking in the bar and disorderly conduct. I am pretty sure she spent the night in jail too.

Anyway, about halfway through my 2nd beer...at maybe 10:40 or so Kimberly comes walking in! I was like hey this is cool at least I did not get stood up. So she and her friend come strolling over....I would say I bought them drinks but it was ladies night so they drank free. I said, hey what happened to 10pm...she comes back with it is a rule to be fashionably late. At this point I am really sick of these dumb rules, and with some liquid courage in me I tell her that if we are going to be able to possibly go out it is going to be me or this dumb rule book. (Kind of took the advice of the board there) Anyway, I think I said something like "There is no rule book for me, I am one of a kind". Then I rambled how it was insulting to be compared to every other guy out there. I layed it on pretty good. Needless to say she did not bring up the rules the rest of the night. We ended up having a good time and the bar actually got pretty crowded about midnight, so it was all good. At the end of the night I gave her my number and said if she wanted to get together again to call me, I even got a kiss in the parking lot. I still need some work on those closing skills though. Now it will be interesting to see if She calls me to go out this weekend!

[Blackadar]

Tell her you have one rule.

She needs to let you get her drunk and stick it in her butt.

[rkmsuf]

Tell her you have one rule.

She needs to let you get her drunk and stick it in her butt.

Amen brother. That is the only rule.

[Blackadar]

Amen brother. That is the only rule.

If she follows the one rule, she then can deserve the one ring. :)

[Franklinnoble]

For anyone curious about Friday night...I get to the bar a few minutes after 10 and she is not there. So I was pretty bummed. They have 25oz mugs of beer there for $2.50 though, so I figured I would drown my sorrows.

It just so happens that the Smoking Ban kicked in On that same night as well, so the bar was actually pretty dead when I got there. But the owners wife was in there smoking a cigarette. I did not think anything of it because the way the city set up the law they said that someone has to call and complain and only then they will check out the bar for violaters. So I am enjoying my beer and after about 20 minutes FIVE cops walk in. They walk in find the owners wife and she lights up right in front of them and tells them SHE is the one who called the cops!! She was all lit up too...So the cops wrote her a ticket for Smoking in the bar and disorderly conduct. I am pretty sure she spent the night in jail too.

Anyway, about halfway through my 2nd beer...at maybe 10:40 or so Kimberly comes walking in! I was like hey this is cool at least I did not get stood up. So she and her friend come strolling over....I would say I bought them drinks but it was ladies night so they drank free. I said, hey what happened to 10pm...she comes back with it is a rule to be fashionably late. At this point I am really sick of these dumb rules, and with some liquid courage in me I tell her that if we are going to be able to possibly go out it is going to be me or this dumb rule book. (Kind of took the advice of the board there) Anyway, I think I said something like "There is no rule book for me, I am one of a kind". Then I rambled how it was insulting to be compared to every other guy out there. I layed it on pretty good. Needless to say she did not bring up the rules the rest of the night. We ended up having a good time and the bar actually got pretty crowded about midnight, so it was all good. At the end of the night I gave her my number and said if she wanted to get together again to call me, I even got a kiss in the parking lot. I still need some work on those closing skills though. Now it will be interesting to see if She calls me to go out this weekend!
Obi-Wan has taught you well...

[Desnudo]

At the end of the night I gave her my number and said if she wanted to get together again to call me, I even got a kiss in the parking lot.

Nice job until this point. Always get the girls number, not vice versa. I'm pretty sure that's in the rule book somewhere.